A/N: Warning for Pyronica and Keyhole discussing vore, and whatever else might trigger someone that I don't know about yet. Please tell me so I can put up warnings.
---
(3rd person POV)
Sometimes it was weird to think about how all the dimensions weren't time synched. Teeth realized that whenever he came home from work at the theater. This particular dimension where the Death Star was located was in a 'dead zone' with no Federation traffic and no real influence from Time Baby trying to exert his power over it. Time didn't… move here the same way. So he could be at work for a few hours and return home to find out a few days had passed. Or he could come home to realize it had been barely a minute. It was confusing sometimes, but since he and everyone else here were sort of immortal, that didn't generally cause problems.
Except when it did.
Teeth wasn't dumb. He wasn't some nerd like Bill, Kryptos or Hec were, but he knew stuff too! And he knew that Lilie was mortal. And that sending Lilie back to his home dimension after taking him here would put him out of synch with it. For Teeth this wasn't an issue, the Teleporter that Bill built for them had a Temporal, as well as Locational setting. So he could spend days here before heading out to work and it wouldn't matter. But Lilie would be aged older than he should have been if he stayed here for too long before heading home to the time when he left. Which meant that he would need to head home while still time synched.
Essentially, it meant that Lilie had stayed here at the Death Star overnight, so it would need to be a whole night and a few hours set into the Teleporter back to Lilie's homeworld. (Part of the reason Time Baby synched the dimensions the Federation had direct control over was to prevent issues like this.) And that meant that even if Teeth wanted Lilie to stay for longer, he couldn't. Because they would have to work in a few hours and Teeth didn't want to go to work yet, so he would have to send Lilie back on his own and then head over once he was done relaxing around the house before going out to work again.
(And no, Teeth wasn't being lazy! He was simply exploiting his own agelessness to take a break from work!)
"Aww… I can't stay longer?" Lilie pouted, dressed in a lovely lavender dress. "I wanted to play dress up with your friends some more." Pyronica made through on her idea of everyone dressing up. Even Teeth had a little bow on his top.
"Yeah, we have to work in a few hours, remember?" Teeth reminded him. Lilie's ears drooped. "Oh, right." He tilted his head. "Then… why aren't you coming with me?"
"Oh I will, I'll be right behind you." Teeth assured him, knowing he could simply set his Time of Arrival to just after Lilie's. "I just need to get some stuff done." He told his boyfriend honestly. Because Teeth hadn't cleaned his room. He liked to arrange his blankets and other bedding to resemble the inside of the jaw, like how he used to be enclosed back when he was living with his colony. But Lilie had preferred lying down on top of the blankets and Teeth had snuggled with him the night before, passed out from drinking. That had been nice, but Teeth woke up feeling rather… exposed.
So he really wanted to set his room back to normal, for his own peace of mind.
Lilie accepted his excuse and sighed before leaning his long neck down to nuzzle against Teeth's side with his soft fur. "Alright, I'll see you soon." The Alpicana kissed him lightly on the top of Teeth's head, his ears flapping around wildly. Teeth could tell he was flustered from performing such a bold action. But Teeth grinned and kissed back, as best he was able without lips, bumping his top edge against the young man's neck.
"Yup. See you." Teeth liked the way Lilie squealed in bashful joy even as he typed in the Teleporter for him. The last thing Teeth saw before he hit the [Go] button was Lilie wiggling his rear end back and forth as he practically bounced at the sign of affection. Damn that guy was cute.
"Oooooh~" Pyronica, dressed in a very revealing black dress, teased. Teeth chuckled. "Shaddup~"
Pyronica opened her mouth to make a teasing remark but was interrupted by a distant sound of air being displaced.
Teeth and everyone else stared when Pynelope suddenly popped into the living room with two other people.
"Fffffffuck! I can't believe that worked?!" Pynelope gasped, sitting up from the people pile. They had landed on Hectorgon, who was groaning at the weight ("I'm too old for this!!!"). A small round creature (was that a Prinny?) sat up with a squeak. "We are NOT doing that again, dood!"
A dark purple Tentafiloo groaned. "Hacking the teleportation beam, while inside the object being teleported, is utter stupidity!"
"But it fuckin' WORKED!" Pynelope cackled. Then she paused at the sight of her family. "Oh, hiiiiii mooooom~!" she waved. Pyronica cackled back. "Hacking a teleport beam? What sorts of wonderful law breaking have YOU been up to?"
"Ehhhh just information gathering. No biggie." Pynelope shrugged. She and her friends distangled themselves from the pile. The Tentafiloo looked around and paled. "I-is this Bill Cipher's lair?"
"Oi, that makes it sound like we live in a dungeon." Keyhole scoffed. "This is just the house. It's a spaceship as well, technically. Though none of us know how to fly it." He paused. "Does this place even HAVE a steering system?" He mumbled to himself.
"So who're your friends?" Hectorgon winced as he picked himself up. "If they managed to get through Bill's barrier, they're not bad people."
"Wait! More importantly-" the Tentafiloo interrupted, "-I need to write down what we learned today!" He pulled out his Com to begin typing rapidly. The Prinny shrugged, "Don't mind him, he just forgets stuff if he doesn't save it down somewhere." She straightened up and extended a flipper. "Hello. I am Pynelope's friend, Yoland. That guy there," She gestured back at the Tentafiloo, "-is Jion."
"Nice to meet you…" Keyhole trailed off. "...ah, okay, no offence but um…" He glanced between Yoland and Pynelope. "Why do you have a prinny?"
"Oh, don't worry, I'm not her servant or anything, I'm a free Prinny." Yoland told them quickly. "And I just haven't bothered to reincarnate yet. Still so much I wanted to see and do before then, you know?" Everyone paused to think about that response before Pyronica shrugged. "Fair enough."
During this time, Pynelope was stretching out her body, groaning at the cracking sounds it made. She was getting old. "Hey mom, is my room still here?" She asked. Pyronica rolled her eye. "Of course it is. Bill would never get rid of it. He even made sure it was undisturbed since you left."
"Sweet!" Pynelope gestures for her friends to follow her. "Come on, we can rest in my room, compile our information and get started on the article."
"Is… is this alright? Are we allowed to stay here?" Jion glanced around, somewhat nervous. He knew from Pynelope that Bill Cipher wasn't an evil demon. But she had mentioned her father's temper and how volatile it could be. He didn't know if having people in his daughter's room without permission would be something that made the demon angry. Pynelope shrugged, not seeing the issue. "Eh~ so long as you're not planning to do anything naughty-" and here, Pynelope waggled her eye at him teasingly, "-then I think dad would be fine with it."
"Oh, Bill's not here right now." Hectorgon informed them (making Jion relax somewhat), "But as the 'adult' here, I would have to tell you that no naughtiness is allowed to happen unless all parties have agreed to it."
"Uuuugh~" Pynelope groaned. "I'm not 60 years old anymore uncle Hec! I know that. I can take care of myself."
"I know, but you'll always be our child, no matter how old you've grown." Hectorgon told her. Pynelope waved it off. "Yeah, yeah. Come on guys, my room's this way, follow close, I don't know what to do if you got lost or eaten by the house."
"The house can eat people?!" Jion's worried response made Yoland laugh as they walked away.
Keyhole stared after them before sighing, tugging at his skirt. "It almost feels like she never left." He sounded a little nostalgic. "But… she looks older."
"She IS older." Pyronica picked up some of the clothes that had fallen to the ground during their impromptu fashion show. "It feels like only yesterday she was still small enough to hold in my arms…" the Cyclopian frowned before shaking it off. It was going to happen. Her children were aging. They were dying slowly everyday. And that had been their own decision to do so. She had even encouraged them to choose this. Pyronica shook her head and continued cleaning up.
"Well, I kinda wanna know what she was up to, that an emergency teleport was necessary." Keyhole wondered aloud. "You think it'll be in the next issue of the SoundBoard? Or one of the other papers?"
"Most likely." Hectorgon hopped over to help Pyronica tidy up. "The next issue should be up next week, right?"
"I'll have to check that out when it does." Keyhole grinned. "Whatever it was, it must have been something big."
"I'm sure you'll find out next week." Hectorgon chuckled. He looked forward to Pynelope's articles. They were very jabbing attacks against the Federation without outright being something they could use to arrest her. News was an odd thing. The Federation didn't like bad press, but couldn't fully stop it from happening. They could bribe, threaten or deny it, but people still had opinions and could express them. The Federation would simply deal with those reporters afterward and then run smear campaigns to discredit whatever information was written. How well that worked out varied with different dimensions. But Hectorgon didn't want to think about how obnoxious it was.
Frankly, the lot of them were amazed Pynelope didn't have any Federation agents attempting to silence her yet. Then again, no one wanted to piss off Bill. So, there was that.
"Hey, where'd 8-Ball go? I haven't seen him since breakfast?" Keyhole wondered absently, pulling at his skirt again to adjust it. Teeth 'looked' around. "You're right. Do you think he's got some kinda stomach problem? His belly was makin' all those weird noises…"
"Well, if he's in the bathroom, pooping his guts out, I'm staying WELL away from it." Pyronica shuddered.
"Where's Ammy? I haven't seen him either? Or Kryptos." Keyhole pointed out next. "Wow, I didn't even notice they were gone." actually, Xanthar and PaciFire weren't here either. Where was everyone?
Pyronica gasped, dropping the handful of clothes in her hands. "That bitch escaped!" She pouted, hands on her hips as her fire raged. "No fair, I was gonna snap some photos of his embarrassed face and text them to Bill."
"...the two of you really like teasing that poor boy." Hectorgon sighed.
"He makes it too easy." Pyronica waved off. "If he wasn't so flustered whenever we dress him up, we wouldn't bother doing it." Really, making those funny expressions only served to make her more interested in fucking with him. Pyronica's face broke into a grin. "Game idea!" She swept the clothes off the floor again. "Find Kryptos and make him wear an article of clothing. One point for each individual piece. Bonus points if they match."
Teeth perked up. "Oooohhhh~" He laughed. "And what do we get if we win?"
Pyronica looked around the room. Keyhole didn't seem all that interested, Teeth was quite eager for this game, Hectorgon seemed exasperated, Xanthar…wasn't here. PaciFire was… not here either, he'd gone back to his room after breakfast. Oh wow everyone was off doing their own thing today, huh? "If you win…" She drew out, "...you get to choose what clothes we get to wear for the next week." well it was their own fault for not being here, she would just have to text them later about the game.
Teeth began to cackle and run off, holding a pile of frilly clothing in his arms. "Yeeeeessssssss!!!"
Hectorgon sighed. "Well, as long as you don't make a mess. I don't want to have to clean up after you." He called to Teeth's retreating back. Really, sometimes it sucked to be the adult here.
"Can I participate as well?" A monotone voice asked. Pyronica jumped with a squawk and turned to see Amorphous Shape floating beside her. "Void! Ammy! Don't DO that!" She gasped, sitting down on a sofa seat. "One of these days you're gonna give one of us a heart attack!"
"That would be quite the disappointment." Ammy nodded solemnly. "To think you would die from a simple attack of the heart."
"Look, just because I don't technically NEED a heart to live it no reason to--" Pyronica groaned loudly before stopping herself. "--nevermind. So you want in?"
"I know where Kryptos is, and have the means to get to his location quickly." Amorphous Shape nodded. "I believe I will do quite well in this game." that was when Teeth ran back into the room. "I can't find Kryptos!" He wailed even as Ammy squinted his eyes into a smile. "It appears victory is mine." Before he folded himself into one of his blocks and teleported through it. "Fuck that's not faaaaair!" Teeth complained. Keyhole finished folding the clothes he was helping Hectorgon tidy up, before he sighed. "I'm gonna sit this game out. I can't get Kryptos to wear anything." He pouted. Kryptos didn't always want to play with the rest of them, especially nowadays when he just stayed in his room or at his lab. Whenever Keyhole asked if the other guy wanted to hang out, go to the arcade, feed the turtle-ducks or rampage with the rest of them, Kryptos would claim to be busy.
"Hey, do you think we should stop Kryptos from that silly plan of his?" Keyhole asked. Pyronica looked a little lost as to what Keyhole was suggesting at first before she understood what he was trying to say and shrugged. "Well, I for one, think that his idea of killing Time Baby is great."
Hectorgon chuckled. "I'm sure all of us would like to see that tyrant taken down. Even if it wouldn't last. But I don't know if this plan of his will work." Not that he was going to stop Kryptos from trying. Try and fail, to learn to do better next time. That was something Kryptos needed to learn. Hectorgon was curious to see what his friend would do.
Keyhole sighed. "If Kryptos wanted to kill Time Baby because he wanted to take down a tyrant, that would be ONE thing. But he's only doing this because he's thristy as fuck for Bill." He rolled his eyes. "And that makes this so stupid."
"Peh, I see nothing wrong with his motivation." Pyronica laughed. Keyhole sighed. "Of course you wouldn't…"
Pyronica hummed, sauntering over to Keyhole and bending down to be face to face with him. "Well… what about you?" She asked, grinning at him. A long finger trailed up his face, warm but not burning despite the flames. Keyhole's eyes went wide. "What would you do for a chance with me?"
Keyhole gulped loudly, shivering under her touch. "Y-you… h-how did you know…"
Pyronica laughed and straightened back up. "You're adorable Keyhole, really." She rocked her hips back and forth, watching the way Keyhole blushed. "It was pretty obvious. You're not very good at hiding it. I mean, I'm not as oblivious as Bill is." Pyronica told him simply. Keyhole buried his face in his hands. "Noooooo~"
Teeth and Hectorgon sighed. "I'm going back to clean my room." Teeth noped out of there. He didn't want to deal with this right now. Ugh, relationships. Hectorgon just wanted to give Keyhole some privacy.
When the living room became empty of everyone except Keyhole and Pyronica, the young man finally lifted his face out from his hands. "Ah… so… you… know…"
"I've known for a while, yes." Pyronica sat down on the couch, crossing a long shapely leg over the other. Keyhole winced. "Right...okay…" He fiddled with his thumbs. "So..." He glanced at her and then down to his hands. "What now?"
"You tell me." Pyronica sighed. "I'm not sure how I feel about it. You're my friend, and I love you a lot. But I don't find you attractive." Keyhole twitched. "O-oh…" he wilted. Pyronica continued, "I'm more into the big beefy guys. Some real meat on them-" She held out her hands and gestured, "-with a huuuuuge--"
"Okay I get it!" Keyhole moaned, flushing a deep brown.
"And you're a really nice guy. But I'm not really into nice guys." Pyronica told him. "Because there would be no point. I'm gonna eat my partner anyway. So if they were nice, that'd just be a waste." She bit her lip. "There are too few nice people in the world, I don't want to lessen that number."
"...but you don't have to eat me in a way that kills me." Keyhole not-quite pleaded. "L-like you could just swallow me and then spit me up afterwards--"
"Sure, I could." Pyronica shrugged. "But that'd get you off more than me. I wouldn't really enjoy it as much. No offense, I just really need to chew and tear into my man."
"Oh. I… I understand." Keyhole sighed. "Sorry, I'm just… I dunno, I just… you're really sexy. And cool! And just the most amazing woman I've ever met. And I really like you. And-and I sometimes fantasize about being with you." He was still blushing. "A-and imagining what it would feel like to be eaten by you. How warm your throat would be, how wet it would feel..."
"Awww~" Pyronica leaned over to pull Keyhole against her side for a hug. "You flatterer~" she batted her eye at him. "You know, none of the guys I've eaten have ever told me how much they'd enjoy the process~" She paused. "But you DO know that, that's pretty fucked up, right?" Sure, it was perfectly normal for her species, but she understood that other people weren't supposed to enjoy being eaten. Plus… "And I don't want you to die. I love you."
"I don't need to die. Are you sure you have to chew me up?" Keyhole asked. Pyronica nodded. "I instinctively bite down."
"So no blow jobs…" Keyhole sighed. Pyronica laughed. "Not unless you've got two dicks and can afford to lose one."
"Nope. Singular dick." Keyhole chuckled. Then he sobered. "So… it's not gonna happen, between us… is it?"
"I care about you too much to risk it." Pyronica leaned back on the couch. "And, well, I don't find you physically attractive. No offense, you're very cute, but you're not exactly my type."
"Oh." Keyhole leaned against Pyronica's side. "I'm not sure how to feel about this."
"Same." Pyronica rested her arm on top of Keyhole's large head. "It's why I never really wanted to talk about this with you. But, it's been years, I kinda got tired of it. So, might as well just… lay it all out or something."
"Ah. Right." Keyhole closed his eyes, relaxing into Pyronica's touch. "So… what now?"
"You tell me." the giant woman pulled him closer into the hug. "How are you going to go on past this point? Are you going to give up on me? Find some other sexy giantess to pine over?"
Keyhole managed to laugh. "Doubt I'd meet anyone as awesome as you."
"Well of course! I'm the epitome of awesomeness~" Pyronica posed, throwing her head and arms back, white hot fire flaring up and around them in a lovely display. Keyhole sniggered. "Won't find anyone with an ego to match either."
"Pffth~ says the dude with a head larger than his body~" Pyronica teased back. Keyhole preened. "Oh please~ the larger my head, the larger my Key, and I'll have you know, my Keys are quite girthy~"
The two snorted and burst out laughing. Keyhole kicked his stubby little legs while Pyronica's mouth was wide as she snorted heavily through her laughter. After a while, they had to stop, gasping for air. The two panted heavily, slumped over the couch and each other. It was then that Teeth re-entered the room and went shock still. "Shit, did you two actually do it?!"
That set the two off on another round of laughter.
---
Kryptos sipped on his breakfast while working. Taking his food off to eat at the lab was much quieter. No one to jostle the table, no impromptu food fights, no rowdy conversations… not that Kryptos didn't enjoy them, when he was in the mood for it.
But he wasn't feeling up for that right now. Finding out that TEETH of all people, had gotten a partner was...
...well Kryptos wasn't jealous, per say. But he felt pretty miffed. He'd been pursuing Bill for a few centuries now. But he had nothing to show for it. Well, aside from a lot of handjobs that Bill didn't remember and would probably be quite distressed once she did… um… shit. Kryptos hadn't actually thought of that. Like, he knew NOW that what had happened between them that day had been wrong, in all the ways, but he hadn't thought about it in a while. He winced. He hadn't meant to… and Bill hadn't known but--
Kryptos resolved to apologize, down on his knees if he had to. He felt like an awful person once he did more research into the subject and realized what exactly the thing he had gotten Bill to do for him was. Kryptos felt like a horrible person once he understood the full gravity of it all. He took advantage of Bill, and even if he hadn't known that at the time, it didn't change the fact that what he'd done was wrong.
So he would apologize. However many times it would take. He would do anything to make things right between them.
But he couldn't even apologize for it, not until he could talk to Bill about what had happened without Bill's own Deal messing with her memories about it. That was...
...that was an even bigger reason why Kryptos had to do this. Confessing to Bill was one thing, heck, if he was honest with himself, Kryptos had the feeling Bill wouldn't return his affection, not in the same way, not in the way Kryptos wanted. But the apology? That was something he desperately needed to do. He felt horrible and would continue to feel horrible until he could finally let Bill know, finally face consequences for what he'd done to her.
...and if Bill… didn't want to be friends anymore because of it...
...he would accept that too.
Kryptos shuddered, wiping at his eye when it threatened to leak. He turned back to his work, but really, there wasn't much left to do at this point but wait to begin testing and contact the mafia for the missing parts. He just needed to mess with something, to DO something, to quell this unsettlement inside him.
So lost in his thoughts, Kryptos almost didn't notice when a bow was neatly tied around his top point. He blinked slowly, coming back to himself and looked up into Ammy's many blinking eyes. "I have secured my victory." Ammy said in monotone. "Prepare yourself, for I shall be shopping for flannel."
...and then he was gone.
Kryptos blinked slowly, looking around his now empty lab, Amorphous Shape was nowhere to be seen. What… just… happened???
---
8-Ball paced his room, unsure what to do. He had to find Toobie's parents(?) but he had no idea where to start. They were just random dudes he met at a dance club. And it was morning now. So who knows where they'd gone! He had no idea where to start!
Wait.
8-Ball headed over to his mirror, the reflected glow of his eyes stared back. Those eyes that people always wanted. Because they were useful. It was why 8-Ball spent much of his life being bought and sold stolen. Because people wanted to use his eyes. He never really tried using them himself, never saw the point. He didn't understand how they worked, no one did. Bill once said it was because 8-Ball's eyes were tied into the lines of Fate or something, but 8-Ball didn't understand what he was talking about.
All he knew was that his eyes always knew the answer to questions, even if 8-Ball himself knew nothing. So… perhaps he could ask them what to do.
"...should I ask for help in finding Toobie's parents?" He gave the side of his head a light smack and watched his eyes swivel before a message appeared on them.
[ƨǝγ oɈ Ɉnioq ƨnϱiƧ]
...what did that mean? 8-Ball realized he couldn't read it. He whined. Why couldn't he read them? Bill had worked so hard to teach him how to read! 8-Ball felt ashamed for still not knowing how to read everything. He squinted, pressing his face close to the mirror. What did that say?
8-Ball whined at the mirror before he had to go lay down. His head hurt from thinking too hard. Toobie bounced along his face with some high pitched warbles.
---
Pynelope and her friends finally left, even though Hectorgon and the others asked if they wanted to stay longer. She shook her head. "Sorry Uncle Hec, we need to get back to the office and get this edited."
She did pause and looked around before she left and asked, "Where's Bill?"
"He's off on some wild adventure." Hectorgon responded, it was about as true as anything else. Pynelope shrugged. "Well, prepare yourselves for when he gets back and reads my article. Things are gonna be getting pretty intense." She grinned wickedly. Hectorgon couldn't help but feel worried. "Knowing you, is your article going to egg on Bill to attack the Federation?"
But Pynelope didn't look worried. Even as her friends looked over at her. "It's not Bill that I'm gonna be setting off." She grinned before hitting the [Go] button and disappearing from view as her group teleported away.
Teeth and Keyhole looked over at Hectorgon. "Should we be worried about this?" The polysphere shrugged. "We can deal with that when it comes up." Not like Bill was even here at the moment.
---
Amorphous Shape stared at the selection before him. "Hm…."
Rows upon rows of flannel shirts hung before him. The lines and colors melded into each other in a dizzying clash of eye cancer. The shop attendant continued to smile, though they were beginning to get nervous. "Dear customer, you have been staring for the past few hours. Are you sure you do not require assistance?"
Ammy reached out a tendril to press against their mouth, "Shhh, I am thinking."
The shop attendant twitched. They looked over at their manager, but he shrugged and gestured for them to stay with the customer. They sighed. This particular customer had come in without anyone noticing him. The attendants went to assist him in finding something he might want, but he had brushed them off, claiming he had to do this himself. Something about claiming his prize? But he had been staring at the rack of clothes for hours now.
"Do you… have any questions?" The shop attendant asked, wanting to do something besides stare at the customer and be bored out of their mind. Speaking of staring, they couldn't help but blush, he had such vibrant colors. And he didn't seem to mind the way they stared, so they couldn't help but continue to look him up and down. As nice as it was though, they were getting bored of standing here. Could they ask one of their coworkers to swap out?
"Do you have anything larger?" The customer finally asked.
The shop attendant was quick to snap out of their haze. "Y-yes we have sizes ranging from XS to X³L. And we can special make anything larger than that."
The customer nodded slowly before floating up to the racks, finally pulling shirts out. All different colors. He turned to hand the pile to the attendant. "These. But bigger." He said simply. The attendant nodded. "Ah, how much bigger sir customer?"
Instead of answering, he disconnected his segmented-block body and spread out, the attendant stared as he arranged the pieces of himself out and around before a lines of light raced through them, connecting all the pieces together into a sort of outline. "Needs to fit this." He said, voice never changing from its flat (but oddly echoing) tone.
The attendant stared for a few seconds before scrambling to pull a tape measure from their pocket and set to work getting the dimensions. Once they were done, the customer rearranged himself into a different formation, smaller. "And one for this." The attendant dutifully marked down the new size as well. And the one after that. And the one after that.
"My, these are a lot of clothes." They remarked, trying to start friendly conversation now that the customer was finally doing something. The customer nodded. "I won. So I got to choose." They said. The attendant waited but he didn't elaborate. And they weren't sure if they should ask. Finally, the customer arranged themselves into the last shape and the attendant recoiled a little. It was a triangle shape. The attendant deliberately did not think about it, but took the measurement anyway. Not going to ask. They knew better than to stick their feelers into that particular subject.
Finally the customer seemed done. "Ah, so you… wanted one shirt of each color in those shapes?" They asked, tone forcibly cheerful, just as they were taught during orientation.
The customer stared at them, unblinking. "One of each color for each shape. All of them. Multiple for each." The attendant could see the Credit signs going off in their manager's eyes. All nine of them. They held back the urge to roll their own. "Very well sir. The custom ordered shirts would cost a little more. Please come to the checkout counter so we can calculate your purchase."
They all went over and the attendant rung him up, staring at the large number. "That'll be 23595 credits, sir." They saw their manager fanning himself over by the corner of the room. The customer pulled out a Credit chip. A gold one. The attendant could see their manager practically salivating. A gold chip was a sign of a very rich customer. A real surprise considering this customer didn't look wealthy. He wasn't even wearing clothing. But… when they put the card through, it was legitimate and the credits were successfully transferred.
"Alright, what is the address you need them delivered to?" "...what is an address?" The customer asked. The attendant blinked. He blinked back. They stared at each other for several long seconds. "Um… your… home address. The place you live?"
"The Death Star." The customer said plainly. The attendant had to pause at that. "But… where is it located?" They asked patiently. "In space."
…...okay. Deep breaths. "Which sector?" "...space." The attendant looked over at their manager. He simply waved for them to keep trying.
"Is there any location you would like this order to be sent to? In terms of where you would like to pick up the order?"
"Home."
The attendant reached for patience they didn't know they had. "How about, do you have a Com?" They asked finally. "We can call you or leave an I-mail when the order is done so you can come in to pick it up." Thank the AXOLOTL he had a Com. He handed it over to the attendant and they flipped it on to get the number off it, since the customer didn't seem to get what they wanted from him.
The attendant flinched at the wallpaper. It was the customer floating beside a bright yellow triangle who had their arms wrapped around them in an embrace. The attendant secreted oils nervously as they quickly found the ID number and I-mail address they needed and handed the Com back.
Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.
"Alright sir. We will contact you when it is time to pick up your order." They smiled, trying their best to act like nothing was wrong. The customer nodded, managing to look solemn through all this. "Very well. I shall be awaiting my prize." And then he was gone. They didn't see him leave. He was just… gone.
"Ohbythestarsthatwasstressful!" The attendant slumped over the counter. Uuuugh. Rich customer or not… that wasn't something they ever wanted to do again. They finally got up to put the sample shirts away and paused to find them gone. Did that guy just--
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuu-!!!!"
---