Bab 7: -A time will come-
---
I start checking the trashcans around the city. I bring some origami animals with me, so I can pretend I'm throwing them out as an excuse to get close to the trash. There are crumpled paper messages that change everyday. Mostly they mention some new place where the 'meeting' will take place. Sadly I don't know which places these are.
I want to know. What meetings are these? I need to find out more. Who's running them? What are they about? Is there already a secret underground rebellion? I need to know which Triangles are on the Sanitation team in my city. I can question them.
I tried observing the trashcans from a distance to see who collects it. I found a few triangles dressed in overalls (and didn't THAT just look odd) would come to empty out the cans around halfway through the day. I subtly followed them from a distance, pretending to be folding another origami thing as i walked.
The trash is taken to a large building near the outskirts of the city. There's no way I can ditch my guards at night and crawl there. Its much too far. How can I get there? How can I talk to them? Should I just approach one of the Sanitation department and ask?
Could I just do that? It would be easier, certainly. But...
I glance as my guards. Ugh. Is there any way to ditch them? Would they just eventually go away? No way, I'm an Unnatural. A triangle with a round Piece, there's no way they'll let me walk around without observation. Shit.
I actually just walked up to one and asked. Because I'm tired. "How long are you guys going to follow me? Why do you have to do this?"
"We have orders to keep you under observation."
"Can't you just...not do that?"
"Sorry kid. Orders are orders."
"Right." I sighed. Guess I'll have to sneak out of the house at night again.
---
This is my life now.
I'm lying face down next to a trashcan a fair distance from my house. Just, lying here on the ground. Waiting for the Sanitation workers to get here.
I snuck out during the morning guard shift this time, if they don't see me leave the house they assume I'm still inside, crawled here slowly, got stepped on multiple times and I am fucking DONE.
This is my life now.
I hear foot steps and raise myself up. I hear a surprised shout and see a purple triangle with the hat and overalls that marked a Sanitation worker.
"Hello. I'm curious about the notes. Please explain." I say bluntly. I didn't have any patience left to go about this more delicately. Purple stares at me, frozen and confused. "Have...you been lying there all day?" He finally asked.
"Unfortunately I'm being stalked by guards pretty much constantly and this was the only way to sneak away from them. Now, where are these secret meetings taking place and what are they about?"
"I...I have no idea what you're talking about." Purple twitches and looks away. He's a terrible liar.
"Look dude, I just want to know what this is about. Is it a secret rebellion against the government because I am ALL for that."
"C-can you please not say that so loudly." He hisses as he glances around worriedly.
"I will if you tell me what's going on." I say more quietly.
He glances around again before sighing with a resigned look. "I'm gonna get in so much trouble. I know nothing about you. You might be a Loyalist spy for all I know."
"Look buddy, the government pretty much told me that I'm not allowed to see my own family ever again. If this is really a secret rebellion group then I want in."
Purple whimpers. "I need proof that you're not a spy."
"Would a spy be THIS blatant and unsubtle?" I gesture to the ridiculous 'floor' disguise I'm wearing.
"....you raise a fair point."
He stares at me a bit more before finally rolling his eye. "Okay, fine...here..." He pulls out a piece of paper and scribbles something down.
"If you really ARE being watched it'll be difficult for you to actually get to any of the meetings, but here's the address to one of our fronts. Its just a simple clothing store. The password is Do you have this in more than two colors." I hear him quietly muttering "Even if you ARE a spy it wouldn't have anything incriminating you can use as proof."
"Thanks dude."
"Whatever, if you get caught by the authorities you're on your own."
I wave at him cheerfully before throwing myself back on the ground to crawl home. I can feel his incredulous stare the whole time. What? I know I look ridiculous but lets see if YOU can do better!
---
The clothing store was pretty far from my house. I resolve myself to a lot of walking. I actually haven't explored the whole city before. Its huge even if there aren't any tall buildings like the cities I'm used to. It would take forever to walk everywhere.
As I get closer I notice the buildings around me are changing. Whereas my neighborhood is mainly small stores and many houses with the occasional amenities like the hospital, library and school, this area had fancier looking buildings.
I blink at the high end clothing store. As something entirely indulgent, clothing was a luxury that not many bother with. It was also pricey. But my job paid pretty well and I haven't used it for much but food. I could actually buy something if I wanted to.
Entering the store and subsequently leaving my guards outside, I look around.
So many hats. So many glorious hats. I stare longingly at a top hat. Ooooh. I went up to one and gingerly picked it up. This felt like a significant moment somehow. I placed the hat carefully on my top corner and looked at myself in the mirror.
All I needed was the bowtie. Oh god I really AM Bill Cipher. I knew this already but seeing my reflection there with the hat, it just finally hit home that I was really doing this. This is me. This is Bill. And Bill is me.
"Sir?! Sir are you alright?!"
I realize I'm hyperventilating. I'm not used to my panic attacks being strong enough to be noticeable. "Y-yeah I'm fine. Just...first time being in a clothing store. Kind of overwhelmed you know?"
The Square gave me a comforting pat. "Finally saved up enough for your first hat young man? I know its a big moment. Why I remember MY first hat."
"Mmhm. I like this one...but do you have it in more than two colors?" I ask somewhat hesitantly.
The Square pauses for just a split second, if I weren't looking for it I would have missed it.
"Why yes. I believe I may have some out back. My assistant can show you..."
A small red triangle walked up to me. "This way sir." He chirped in a high pitched cheerful voice.
Well, here's hoping that this wasn't secretly a trap for disposing of witnesses.
I followed Mini through a door marked 'Employees Only' and he was chatting cheerfully about different styles this fine store carried. Finally we got to a storage room. After we entered Mini shut and locked the door before staring at me with a serious expression.
"Who sent you?"
His voice was many octaves deeper.
"Holy shit is that your real voice?" I blurt out without thinking. It was like going from a tiny child to Samuel L. Jackson! "That's actually pretty cool. Can you do impressions too?"
Mini-SamJackson didn't seem amused. He just glared harder. "Who SENT you?"
"Well no one really. I just sort of found a note in the public trash can about secret meeting and thought it sounded cool. So I asked one of the Sanitation workers and he told me to come here."
Mini-Sam groaned and rubbed the bricks above his eye. "Of all things?! We get found out by some dumb KID digging through the trash?!"
"I'm not dumb!" I protest.
Mini-Sam just stares at me deadpan. "You came in here with no idea about what this is even all about. Do you even know how recklessly stupid this is? I could just kill you now and have the guys at Sanitation dispose of your body."
I DID think of that, thank you very much.
"I've got two soldiers outside this store who were ordered to keep me under observation. If I don't leave the store at some point they WILL come looking for me. And if I'm missing they'll probably tell the higher ups about it." I say casually.
Mini-Sam is silent as he processes what I just revealed.
"You're not as dumb as you look kid."
I stay quiet, unwilling to let him know I actually only remembered my guards just now. Keep a straight face.
"Alright. What do you want kid?" Mini settles down on a supply box and I sit as well.
"What IS this? Are you guys a secret society trying to take down the government? Because if you are, I want to help."
"Kid, you don't even know what the heck this is."
"The Circles won't allow me to see my family." I glare. "If there's any way to fight against the system I want to be a part of it. I just want to be with my brother."
"Your family...why are the Circles separating you from your family?"
"Because...my Piece is round and they said that I can't associate with lowborn..." My fists clench.
"Round?! That's you?!"
I look up and Mini is pale as he looks me up and down. Wha?
"You...know about me?"
"Oh course! A triangle with a circular piece, it caused a huge uproar and the Circles were going crazy about it! We were actually thinking about recruiting you but our spies said you didn't seem to care about rebellion."
"You guys were watching me?!"
"Of course. A Unnatural like you has never been seen before. You're more than just Irregular, you're completely new! An impossibility!"
He stops at stares at my bottom side. "Show me."
"Excuse me?!"
"I want to see the proof with my own eyes."
"Ugh. Seriously?" I start rubbing my bottom side, my fingers sliding around until I could feel the slightest bump of my Piece. I grip it and slowly pull it out, growing more orange as I flushed under the weight of his stare.
"...it really IS round..." He gasps in amazement.
"Are you done? Can I put it back now?" I whine uncomfortably.
"Right sorry. I just had to be sure."
I press myself back in and shudder. It still feels weird. But at least Mini was now looking thoughtful rather than suspicious.
"Yes...this could work. We'll have to train you up to be a proper operative. It'll be difficult if you're really under observation. But you've got a higher rank than most of us...yes. We can use this."
Mini sent me off with instructions of what to do in the following days. I bought the top hat and walked home with my heart thumping in both excitement and worry.
I've done it. I've made contact with people who can help. Or at least, point me in a direction I can go. I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Inside my hat was a rolled up paper with instructions to contact another member of this secret rebellion. They would help.
Oh god this was really happening.
---
The nearest agent they could send to train me was a construction worker. I had to hire him for an expansion job on my house as an excuse to call him over. It was a good cover. We would go inside my house with the blinds down and he would explain more about what exactly our organization does.
Many of our members were Unnatural or Irregular in some way. I found out that Mini-Sam was one of those Triangles with the rectangular pieces, in fact the square running the clothing store was his son.
I suspect that something about being 'different' granted us a higher need to break free from societal norms and customs. We were already misfit, so it would make sense that we would rebel right?
They were thrilled to get someone like me. Mini was able to use his son's Square status to get that clothing store and secretly run it. Mini is actually living under a false identity as a young Triangle labor worker at the store. I don't know how the hell he pulled it off but that explains the fake squeaky voice he used.
I asked about it and apparently there was something about faking his death and altering his presence, whatever the heck that means.
When I asked what they intend for me to do I was a little uneasy about it. They wanted me to do something like what Mini did. Have a child and use their shape and influence to get a spy on the inside. It didn't sit right with me to have a child simply for this purpose, not to mention the whole...getting married to a circle.
The agent I was working with, a lopsided triangle I call Slant, said that I didn't HAVE to get married to have a kid since I was effectively a hermaphrodite and could easily bear my own child. I absolutely refused. Ew. No way. Not happening.
I wasn't quite old enough to bear young yet anyway so he said its just a plan for the future. I very nicely held back my urge to punch in his stupid face for that...frankly quite exploitive and disgusting suggestion.
The ends justify the means. That was the feeling I got from him when he talked about the plans this underground secret society was working on. I was now unsure if this was the right thing to do. This wasn't right. It can't be. These guys, even if they spoke of overthrowing the Circles, I got the distinct feeling they weren't the freedom fighters I'd expected.
They just wanted power. That wasn't a bad thing in general but the way they want to go about it just rubbed me the wrong way. They weren't trying to make the world a fair place where people could be free to do as they wished. They wanted to put themselves in power and flip the system on its head.
Not gonna lie. Once I realized their true goal I was livid. No. Hell no. This is fucking bullshit. This isn't what I wanted. But I can't back out now. Even if their true goal was selfish, and completely missing the point (what's the point of changing things if you just want to keep the system the same?!) This is still the best chance I had for getting Will back.
Even if it means I have to help these asshole swap out one dictator for another.
I suppose I can't really blame them. They don't know anything BESIDES this broken system. The idea of a world where there was no hierarchy at all probably never even occurred to them. I held onto a hope that maybe I could explain the true concept of freedom to them.
Shit. This is not something I'm good at. The government back in my first life wasn't exactly perfect either. The corruption and abuse of power was just as bad as it was here while giving people the illusion of freedom. I don't know anything about how to run a government.
Even if I explained what freedom was, would they understand? I knew enough that I know simply removing the system would do nothing but cause chaos. These people don't know how to make their own decisions.
From the moment they're born they're told what their life will be. It's easy to go through life with all the answers laid out before you. Hell, I was perfectly fine with just going along with the system too. The government assigns me a job. A stable source of income.
I don't have to stress over finding a job or finding a place to live. Those were the things I struggled with back in my 1st life. I went through life day by day, working minimum wage in retail and struggling to earn a living as an artist. I was free to make my own decisions but at the same time I was struggling to earn enough to keep myself alive. If my parents didn't let me live with them there's no way I would be able to support myself.
As much as I hate my restricted freedom here in THIS world, I have a good job that I can get done quickly. I have plenty of free time to pursue my own interests. I have my own house. I make enough money to live comfortably without having to worry about making rent or affording food. By all accounts I'm living the good life here.
But if that means giving up Will, my little brother, my best friend, my ONLY friend...then fuck everything.
There's no point in having money, stability or success if it means being all alone.
As my hero Dr. Seuss once said 'To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.'
Will is my world and I'm more than willing to give up everything for him.
So even if it means helping out these people with their twisted sense of rebellion, I would do it.
---
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
Mlzuum4
Mlzuum4 -Random Chinese Cultural Trivia-
My mom is one of those people who gives her children both English and Chinese names. She didn't want us to deal with people mispronouncing our names so we use English names at school and in public, and our Chinese name at home and around family.
My full name is 林趙尊欣 which is a weird name. I have two last names (林趙) because my dad took the family name of both his birth father and step father. The spelling is Lam Ziu according to a Cantonese translator I found online but we write it as Chiu-Lin on official documents. I know Lin is the Mandarin spelling of Lam but I'm not sure about Chiu. Yes the order of the words are flipped in English.
Zyun (尊) is my generation name and Jan (欣) is my actual given name.
So my first name is Zyun-Jan, meaning 'Noble Joy'. My mom named me 'Joy' because she wanted me to always find the happiness in life, no matter what happens. I strive to live up to my name everyday. Even when it's hard.
My sisters are Zyun-Zeon 尊俊(Excellence) and Zyun-Kei 尊淇(The plot of Spirited Away). We share the same generation name for obvious reasons.
This was your useless personal trivia for the day.
Also I'm not kidding about Kei's name. Look up the definition of 淇