Ice King (Harry Potter fanfic)

LV 12

Mamdouh_mohamed

Hello, Mr. Author, the story has a lot of potential, but the method of writing conversations is harsh and not comfortable to read. It would be better to write the sentence and then write who said the sentence and his feeling at the moment or his facial expression as he said it, for example when he said Rob, ROB: Good morning, Abel, as you can see, you may be thinking, I am Rob, an immensely powerful being, I am part of a legion of omnipotent beings, but who are immensely bored, you better write it: Good morning, Abel, you see, you might be thinking I am Rob, a powerful being. I am part of a legion of beings who are capable of anything, but extremely bored, said the mysterious being who was sitting on a chair in the movie theater, or for example when Abel said: Abel: well then, how did I die? “You better write it down, well then how did you die?” Abel asked with a blank face as he looked at the being in front of him. I am looking forward to seeing the events after his reincarnation. Please keep writing

LV 1

DaoistwwYBDC

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