original

I Hate You Madly, My Only Love

Bab 1: Dark Night

It was cold, very cold ...

The delicate snow flakes wrapped him with a gentle embrace that proved mortal. His inert body, was peacefully lying in this icy bed. The road was deserted; No dwelling in the surrounding view. Only the vegetation covered with thick layers of snow and the wind that touched its ears, seemed to give life to the diverse.

His pale face with the stintily raised features, was such a beauty that we could have argued that the goddess of beauty had drawn them herself from unparalleled dexterity! Its splendor could not be masked by the blood that flowed. His stretched eyes and eyelashes with a haunting length were closed. His nose, finely carved at the perfect tip and his fine pink lips were married to perfection with his cheeks blushed by the cold. This face fruited perfection. He was there, curled up against his torso such a fetus. This image was strange, yes, it was of an overwhelming beauty ...

The moon at the zenith offered a perfect vision of the road and reflected just as a mirror in the drops of blood that the young man was slowly emptied. Although gloomy, this view was an intimate sensitivity. We would easily have failed that we were on the scene of a serious accident!

Fortunately, while a man took this road to go to his home, he immediately pointed his vehicle on the side; Having seen a car that smoke emerged against a tree. He could see that there had been an accident a few hours earlier. Pieces of broken glasses earned in the snow confirmed his doubts. After searched in vain for surviving potentials, the eyes of man finally landed on the body of the victim who was emptied with his blood a few meters from where the vehicle of a certain price was consumed by the flames. The young man pressed by the snow had already lost consciousness when he was found. In spite of his pitiful state, he looked very peaceful. Strangely, he sported a cheerful smile, as happy with unexplainly happiness that even his Savior could understand. It was really strange.

The man undertook to drive him in the nearest care center. A few minutes later, he stopped near an imposing clinic of the region. Upon arrival, the young man was taken care of by specialized doctors.

After several hours of surgery, the worst was avoided, but the victim then sank into the coma. And obviously, it was only the beginning of his tortures.For hours, the doctors worked hard. Between bleeding and low blood pressure, Jinwook's operation proved to be more than complex. The block chief was Dr. Long Fan. He was a surgeon as gifted as the rest of his staff, but with the media, he had to be part of the response team. The arrival of sensational piano virtuoso Song Jinwook at the clinic had spread like wildfire, as well as Ha Le. He immediately flew to Seoul after hearing the terrible news. But for now, the only person Jinwook needed was his strength. His desire to live.

...

Motionless, his eyes closed and swollen, his body covered with bandages was connected to machines whose permanent functionality was the only thing now guaranteeing his followed. This is the sad reality in which Jinwook was confronted as a result of his accident. In this strangely empty room, as the only lighting this neon above his death of death, Jinwook had only the only company his own consciousness.

"He was making black ... so black."

A few hours before the accident ...

~ In Jinwook's skin ~

It was necessary to admit it ... I do not want to wake up. I do not want to wake up in this convivable world. If I wake up, what will happen? Should I still endure all that suffering?

Should I put on this stifling mask? ... the happy man to be what he is? This mask I have always been forced to wear since my youngest age to be appreciated by others and appear normal ... but all I've done so far it was appear. Pretend to be, without being. So if everything could stop ... Finally, I will be the happiest of men. From now on, the only thing that could push me to come back is my passion for always ... the piano.

This is the only thing I hold more than anything, but when I think about it, is it worth it? I don't believe ... If only in this peaceful and empty room, I could play the infinite ... so I would accept to stay forever, because this evening had shown me how much this world did not belong to me anymore.

That night, I was ready to make a shave table with her. To get better, feeling to love again; I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to stretch his hand. On this happy day I thought she would definitely feel the same as me ... but she just swept my intentions with a back of the hand! She did not want to hear anything or my explusion, nothing did you market. Everything she merely repeated it was: "Do not reset the feet here Agma!".

So much contempt in his words ... I left. I left and it forever because it will never forgive me. She made me understand it! She was the first love of my life but also her first failure. In fact, she has hated me since that day; The one where, for the last time before I turn his back, she had launched this look with tears that reproached me all the failures of her life she described with miserable. And if I wanted to talk to her that night, it was because by playing this Christmas night, I thought back to us. I thought at our holidays together, our laughter, his cuisine, his joy of life ... by rethinking; Sitting on this stool, I thought that his forgiveness and his affection would have been granted to me. I was wrong ...

She hated me yesterday, now hates me and hate me ... Always! But even being aware of that, it hurts to know how to hear his own genitor. This hatred that feeds on me day by day gives me a constant disgust of my shabby existence. That's how I lived my reality.

I think a belief in a feeling as strong as love has been acquired since childhood, from tender maternal arms. But I never learned that, I lived in hatred. I do not know the effect of being really loving, loving a woman, and that, I have never grown that I would do anything. I certainly deceived myself.