Bab 42: Chapter Forty-one
Rose
I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
My wedding dress fits perfectly onto my body, leaving me eyeing the dress for a long time—somehow not really believing that this day would come for someone like me
My wedding dress fits perfectly onto my body, leaving me eyeing the dress for a long time—somehow not really believing that this day would come for someone like me. A day so perfect and beautiful.
I look up at my face, loving how my makeup is done nicely—enhancing more glow onto my skin. Yet, it confuses me why am I not feeling happy or excited? As I look straight into my eyes, I see the same blue eyes but they aren't shining, they seem dull.
Shouldn't I be shining during my wedding day?
I immediately turn to look at the door as someone pushes it open, seeing Elia's mother walking in. Her eyes are looking straight at me with a slight smile on her face; making me smile back.
''You look beautiful, my dear.'' She compliments.
''Thank you,'' I walk closer towards her, closing the distance between us—letting her cup onto my face; her eyes piercing into mine, leaving me slightly confused but as soon as I see tears appearing in her eyes, I start to furrow my brows.
''Rose, I have something to ask you. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to but I just want to know. Do you still love Elia?'' She asks, making me question myself too; truth be told, I don't know. My mind, my heart and my soul has been confused ever since he proposed because I can't really decide.
All of a sudden, I find myself tearing up; not quite knowing why but as soon as she sees me frowning with sadness and slowly sitting onto the sofa, she starts to soothingly rub onto my back.
''Is it obvious?'' I ask, under my breath.
''As his mother, yes. I just want what's best for both of you but if you don't love Elia—follow your heart.'' She says, ''Whoever you choose, let him be the best for you. The one that will slowly bring out the real you—the one that will be there for you no matter what. The one that will accept your flaws and appreciate your perfection,'' I breathe out, agreeing at her words.
''I don't know. I loved him from the very beginning. When we first laid eyes on each other, I felt something towards him that I've never felt before. He was there for me, he brought adventures into my life and he took care of me—he wanted me safe. That's when he came, made me realise something.'' I say.
He was there for me. Truly there for me.
I close my eyes, remembering us.
Elis continues to look at my face as he softly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, wanting nothing to get in between as we look at each other. Our eyes are not showing signs of looking anywhere else.
My heart softens at his touch. Every single touch. The way his brown eyes just look straight into mine; it soothes me down slightly—leaving me feeling some sort of adrenaline rush in my body.
Then, he starts to lean in; kissing onto my forehead.
His lips remain on my skin for a long amount of time; almost drifting me into a land of fantasy because everything with Elis seems too perfect.
Slowly, his lips move down to the bridge of my nose and down to my lips—kissing me softly. My cheeks heat up immediately at his sudden kiss; making me kiss him back just the same rhythm. Our kiss means something, yes, I see that but we don't have the confidence to say something. We're too scared.
I open my eyes, feeling myself being emotional.
''Follow your heart. Don't be afraid,'' She says. I nod, trying my best to calm myself down but I continue to feel the sadness rushing all over me; nonstop.
Then, she starts to lift up my face by the chin, making me face her, ''Rose. If you truly love my son, please tell him so that you both won't regret it later on. Accept him just the way he accepts you and love him just as much as he loves you. Respect each other just as he respects you. Be there for him,'' She mutters.
''I love your son. I really love him,'' I breathe.
''Go and tell him,'' She smiles. Both of her eyes are reminding me of someone familiar. Someone that I've been spending months and months together, the same person that has been helping me up whenever I fall down onto the ground with no strength at all.
''Is the bride ready?'' My wedding planner enters the room with a smile on her face, eyeing me. Her eyes widen slightly at my face; as she closes the door. ''You look beautiful, Rose. Very beautiful,'' She adds.
My lips curve up into a smile as I turn to look at myself in the mirror again, seeing how I surely do look breathtaking. The three of us walks out of the room, heading towards the wedding hall; where Elia and I will be saying our vows, an everlasting tie.
As we stop at the elevator, I turn to look out and my eyes widen slightly at the sight of Elis—seeing him talking to Elliot. He has both of his hands in his slacks' pocket, loving how he is wearing a tuxedo.
The way his hair is messily combed yet it seems neat at the same time—it starts to weaken my heart. I quickly look away, not wanting to think any further but I fail once I find myself looking back at him, seeing that he's nowhere to be found.
We enter the elevator as soon as the doors open, making me watch my every step; not wanting to fall. When we reach near the hall, my wedding planner hands me my bouquet and fix my veil—wanting everything to be and look perfect. She smiles widely at me as she eyes my dress and my makeup.
The wedding is being held in Bali.
Far from everything that we face back in The States. I continue to look around, deep down, knowing that I'm actually looking for Elis—wanting to see him here because I just want to look at him. His eyes.
Due to being on an island, the wind starts to blow onto my skin; somehow making me much more emotional than I already am—why am I overthinking? I thought. Stop. Rose.
The two doors open, I start to walk down the aisle.
My brother and mother are smiling widely at me as they eye me; making me smile back at them. The hall is mostly filled with Elia's family member which leaves me smiling at strangers. My eyes look up at Elia, seeing that he's standing at the end of the aisle.
Both of his eyes are focusing onto me.
I take my time to eye him from his face and down to his body, seeing that he stands there perfectly without a single flaw showing through. The way his lips are curving into a smile, it shows adoration and love.
Once I reach him, he turns to look at the priest and I follow him, only to feel a slight fear building in.
''We gather here to unite these two people in marriage. Their decision to marry has not been entered into lightly and today they publicly declare their private devotion to each other. The essence of this commitment is the acceptance of each other in entirety, as lover, companion, and friend.'' The priest starts to speak once everyone is seated.
''A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither person is overpowered nor absorbed by the other, one in which neither person is possessive of the other, one in which both give their love freely and without jealousy. Marriage, ideally, is a sharing of responsibilities, hopes, and dreams. It takes a special effort to grow together, survive hard times, and be loving and unselfish.'' He continues.
Then, he looks up at Elia and I, gesturing us to face each other which we both obey, ''Do you, Elia Dominic, pledge to share your life openly with one another, and to speak the truth in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for one another, cherish and encourage each other, stand together, through sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs for all the days of your life?'' He asks.
''I do,'' Elia answers. Both of his eyes are piercing into mine which enters directly into my soul; making me try to breathe properly. I glance towards the crowd, my eyes looking for Elis but I don't see any sign of him except for Elliot and Fiore.
Elliot and Fiore continues to smile at me.
''Do you, Rosalyn, pledge to share your life openly with one another, and to speak the truth in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for one another, cherish and encourage each other, stand together, through sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs for all the days of your life?'' The priest turns to look at me while I continue to look at the crowd; causing some of them to whisper.
To my surprise, Elia calls out for my name, bringing me back to reality; slightly surprised. By the look on his face, it shows how he's worried about me but he's trying his best to act normal—casually. I look up into his eyes before looking away, following my heart.
''I—I don't,'' I answer.
The whole crowd starts to have their eyes open wide, the whispers grow louder and they look at both Elia and I in disbelief; making me look down at the ground immediately. Elia on the other hand, won't stop looking at me—leaving me blaming myself.
''I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep on pretending or forcing myself to love you when that feeling is no longer here. I don't want to hurt you or cause you any pain—so, I'm sorry.'' I mutter, loud enough for him to hear. He continues to look at me without even showing signs of looking away.
''We can talk about this,'' He takes a few steps towards me before cupping onto my face, wanting to look straight into my eyes and seek for the truth, ''We don't have to get married today if that's what you want but we can talk about this. Don't do this,'' He frowns.
''There's nothing to talk about,'' I push him slowly.
''I love you, Elia. I really do but that was all in the past, you've made me realise the truth that my love for you was temporary. You made me go through all the pain and I had myself going strong even though I was dying so now, please, forgive me.'' I look up at him, wanting to make him understand yet it seems so hard every word I say will cause him pain.
He grabs onto my wrist, ''I love you. I love you. I love you. Don't walk out of this hall without me. Don't turn around and look away because I need you,'' He says.
My heart breaks at his words but I pull away my wrist from his grasp before walking out of the hall; quickly and avoiding every single stare that I'm getting, not wanting to feel like I'm the cause of destruction. My body starts to ease slightly at the amount of burden I've let go in that hall—making me breathe.
Without further ado, I start to run towards the other direction, wanting to look for Elis—knowing that he's here in this island. I continue to run down the road until I see a glimpse of the familiar dark brown hair. From afar, I can still recognise him, just from behind.
The way he stands, shows power and arrogance; yet there is something intriguing about him—some sort of aura. The same aura that I've fallen for. Even though he was rude when we first met but I know why.
He thought I deserve better when I didn't.
I throw away my heels before slowly walking down the beach; heading straight towards him. Completely mesmerised by the way he looks as he stares at the water, not realising that I'm getting closer with every step that I take. It doesn't matter if I'm standing here with my wedding dress and it doesn't matter if people start labelling me as the runaway bride because this is my choice—a choice I make. No one can decide.
When I'm close enough, I stay still; only looking at him. The wind is blowing onto our skins, letting us feel something through it—somehow letting us feel our feelings towards each other which is insane.
All of a sudden, he starts to face me.
His brown eyes lightening from the sun as they widen in surprise at my sight, not quite believing himself. ''How could you not even attend my wedding?'' I ask, seeing him squinting his eyes from the sunlight yet they are still focusing onto me. To my surprise, I find him smirking before looking down at the sand.
''I'm here, aren't I?'' He clenches his jaw.
We both continue to look at each other and by the look on his face—it shows how he managed to pick it all up. The runaway bride part of course. I clear my throat, letting go of my dress and the ends drop onto the sand without a single care in the world.
As for Elis, he won't stop looking at me.
''Why are you here, Rose?'' He asks.
I look straight into his eyes, liking how they are lighter than usual which makes him much more attractive than he already is. The thing is that, I've fallen for Elis not because of good-looks but because of him. The way he is. I accept him that way.
''I ran away from my own wedding, of course. Isn't that obvious?'' I speak, slightly joking but he doesn't seem slightly affected; probably thinking of Elia.
''You're only hurting him,'' He continues.
''Then, what about you? What about hurting you? Don't ask me to go back in there and continue the wedding because that's far from what I have in mind. The thing that has been bugging me is that, I wanted to kill myself when I lost him but now, I'm the one who's letting him go—freely. For you,'' I say.
My heart starts to beat fast at the sudden tension.
''I love you, Elis Damian Morello. Believe it or not, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I was too scared of my own feelings. You have been there for me through thick and thin, you made me realise how my life is worth more when I have no one but myself. You made me appreciate myself,'' I add.
Within seconds, I find him looking at me in disbelief, somehow not believing the words I said—mostly the first three words but he keeps quiet, listening to me. I start to take a few steps towards him, wanting to lessen the distance between us.
''I should've said it sooner. I should've let you know. I should've stayed and that's all my fault. I broke my promise—I'm sorry,'' I continue, waiting for him to actually respond, at least. That would make me feel slightly better than not listening to anything.
Following my instinct, I cup onto his face; our faces are inches apart as I continue to look up into his eyes, appreciating that he's currently looking down into mine. To my surprise, I find him wrapping his arms around my waist before kissing me, softly.
For once, I start to realise my true feelings for him.
I've felt this way before whenever we kiss but I was too blind and too afraid of admitting. He pulls my body closer towards him; not leaving distance in between and I'm not even complaining. Then, he tilt his head to the side, making it easier for his lips to meet mine—due to our heights.
Our kiss is passionately slow and not even rushed.
We break the kiss to only let him kiss onto my cheek, letting me blush immediately; before looking back at my face. Then, I find him looking at someone behind me—making me follow his gaze.
Elia stands quite near from us as he eyes us both, watching the intimacy that we shared; it's clear that in his eyes, it shows acceptance. Even though by the look on his face shows sadness, he's trying his best to hide it away—painfully hiding it away.
He continues to look at me, eyes piercing through.
''I forgive you, Rose. I want you to be happy. It doesn't matter if you choose my brother over me, as long as you're happy—I'm happy because I love you. Whoever you choose is your choice,'' He says, smiling slightly.
''I will always love you,'' I quickly hug him tightly, wanting to show him that I haven't completely moved on from our love. He wraps his arms around my body, hugging me back before kissing onto my temple.
Slowly, we start to break the hug and look at each other before letting go. He looks directly at Elis, his eyes are almost tearing up so I immediately look away; not wanting to feel his sadness.
''Don't hurt her like I did. Don't leave her or I'll come and kill you—it doesn't matter if you're my brother,'' He says, his eyes not looking away but at Elis.
From the side, I see Elis clenching his jaw as he looks back at Elia, ''I'm not taking what's yours, I don't want you to suffer because of me.'' He replies.
''No, she deserves you. Someone who can take good care of her, love her, cherish and protect her. You deserve each other and believe me when I say this because I'm not lying. It pains me to let her go and see her end up with you but if that's her happiness and her choice, she's all yours.'' Elia assures.
Just like that, he glances at my direction before leaning in once more to kiss onto the side of my face; long—somehow begging me to stay with him. Then, he starts to walk away from the beach and somehow, from behind, I can see him wiping away his tears.
I continue to stare at his back.
''It's not too late,'' Elis says from behind.
Hadiah
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