Bab 91: 091 Leaving
"I remember the night I returned to Hogwarts, and you were here to greet me, Professor–"
When I came, the snow covered the sky like a thick blanket, and when I left, I was covered with stars like a fairy tale hero. Bryan stopped and looked at Snape under the majestic wild boar sculpture that had stood for a thousand years next to the big iron gate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with a warm smile on his face.
"Otherwise,"
Snape straightened up and sneered sarcastically, "Who do you expect to hold a grand farewell dinner for you, Bryan?"
Bryan smiled gently and didn't say anything. Under the brilliant starry river, the two people faced the refreshing breeze and looked at the ancient castle standing proudly on the high ground, the edge of the Forbidden Forest that hid many secrets, Hagrid's hut with bright lights that invited them in, and the vast playground that witnessed their joys and sorrows. The breeze passed through the tall poles and made a cheerful whisper as if to congratulate them. Bryan looked trance, for a moment, he seemed to really see the 'eternal' existence that transcended time and space.
"Have you been working for Professor Dumbledore all the time?"
Bryan hoped that Snape would break the silence, but he knew it was unlikely. Snape was always reserved and secretive, especially after Voldemort's fall. He had been the potions teacher at Hogwarts for years, Theoretically speaking, he has always been working for Dumbledore.
But Snape obviously knew that Bryan's question was not asking this, and he gave an affirmative answer with a slight nasal sound that betrayed his emotions.
Bryan showed a bitter smile at the corner of his mouth, shook his head sadly, and looked at the office on the eighth floor of the castle that was still flickering with candlelight as if waiting for someone.
"For what?"
Snape's eyes were no longer black holes, but showed obvious hesitation. His eyes swept over every plant and tree in front of this great school with a nostalgic gaze. He had been lurking in the depths of his thoughts for a long time. The memories that were pale and lost their color suddenly surged up like a volcanic eruption that shook his soul.
Pain, helplessness, loss, hatred. Snape couldn't describe his mood at this moment. He had an impulse. He wanted to tell all his secrets to this young man who witnessed his growth by his side. But those words reached his mouth, but there was no sigh left as if they were stuck in his throat.
"For atonement."
After a long time, Snape said faintly with a hoarse voice. Apart from Dumbledore, this was still Snape's first time to put down his magic and spiritual disguise and return his most true side to himself.
Bryan stared at the stars like sand in the Universe that sparkled with life. He heard Snape's answer in his ears. He was not surprised. Human emotions may be the most complicated thing in this world. You expect cold magic to perfectly hide your heart. It's ridiculous as if you were trying to cover the sun with your hand.
"I have some experience, it's about life"
Bryan blurted out something that made Snape instinctively want to sneer. He wanted to remind Bryan of the age difference between them, but when he touched those purple pupils filled with faint light, Snape suddenly froze. He didn't know why a young man in his twenties would suddenly have more vicissitudes in his eyes than him?
"I have experienced the rotation of the world"
Bryan whispered words that made Snape even more puzzled. He stared at him blankly, not knowing how to understand this sentence. Perhaps Bryan meant to enter the mysterious magic world from the muggle world?
Bryan closed his eyes tiredly, and opened them again after a while. The restless soul returned to calm as if he had found peace.
"I have seen the most terrible and selfish darkness of human nature, and I have also bathed in the brilliance of pure souls. Severus, life is only once for anyone–"
Snape heard Bryan call his name directly for the first time, but strangely enough, he didn't feel any anger in his heart, not even a little bit of disharmony, but felt it should be taken for granted as if they had known each other for a long time. This strange feeling made Snape even ignore what Bryan was saying.
"Those painful pasts should not become ropes that bind us from moving forward. Those who have protected us with their lives will not want to see us bear pain and immerse ourselves in memories that cannot be extricated. Severus, compared to atonement, don't you think it's better to live up to those who sacrificed?"
Bryan's voice was soft and sincere, as if he was trying to soothe a wounded animal.
"You don't know what I've been through, Bryan"
Snape's body was so miserable that it was unbearable to look at, and his voice was hoarse as if he was howling desperately in the desert.
"There are many people in this world who have experienced losing everything, Severus, the dead are gone, and what is lost will never come back. Don't let yourself live in self-blame and hatred–"
Bryan looked at the office on the eighth floor of the castle again, and smiled sadly.
"Do you think that a wizard like Dumbledore, how many heartbreaking losses he has experienced in his life, huh?"
He asked Snape, hoping to make him see reason.
"I'm not him, Bryan–"
Snape's panting voice was more like sobbing, he lowered his head, his tone seemed to be arguing for himself, but also like persuading himself,
"Dumbledore is great, powerful, admired by everyone. But I'm just an ordinary man."
Sometimes, Bryan felt very frustrated about Dumbledore's existence. On the one hand, he recognized Dumbledore's indelible achievements for the peace and stability of the entire European magical world in his life. On the other hand, he also felt that Dumbledore was like a mountain. It pressed on the hearts of every wizard in the contemporary magical world, making them not dare to have the idea of surpassing him. To some extent, Dumbledore's existence itself seems to limit the development of the magical world.
Just like Severus in front of him, he often expressed his disgust in front of Dumbledore without concealment in private, and behaved rebelliously. But when it came to facing his heart, he almost instinctively thought that Dumbledore was beyond the reach of mortals, Whether it is magical strength or life wisdom.
Bryan would not naively think that he could persuade Severus to let go of his twenty-year obsession. He just hoped. In this man who should be loved and embraced by the world, he planted a seed. At the right time, this seed will take root and sprout, and bear fragrant and pleasant fruits.
"Well, let's do this first, Professor Snape–"
The twilight lingering around Bryan disappeared. Now he is the young and outstanding wizard with both 'strength and youth' and infinite longing for the future.
Snape felt the conversation was drawing to a close. He struggled to regain his composure, bit by bit. He wanted to say something, to bid farewell, but he was at a loss for words. He was much better at brewing potions than expressing emotions. Before he could find the right thing to say, he saw Bryan open his suitcase and pull out a thick stack of parchment. He handed it to Snape, who took it with curiosity.
"Gilderoy Lockhart's little black material, I accidentally found it–"
He said casually, as if it was nothing important. Looking at Snape who was checking the information and raising his eyebrows higher and higher, Bryan's tone became cheerful. He smiled at the corner of his mouth,
"I hope you can wait until the young wizards finish their final exams before reporting to Dumbledore. Or, it doesn't matter if you give it directly to the Ministry of Magic."
Clang !
Hogwart's big iron gate closed heavily with a dull metal collision sound, echoing in the silent night.
The breeze sings late, when I come alone, I leave alone.
"Goodbye, Professor Snape, I wish you a happy life–"
Bryan waved his hand from a distance, turned and left, and walked into the boundless darkness without nostalgia.
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