Bab 28: 28. Hagrid the Badass
First came the Durmstrang. Their headmaster had been recently changed as Karkaroff was tagged and bagged to Azkaban under the charges of conspiring against the ministry and having ties with Voldermort.
The dumbass was afraid that the dark lord would kill him when he returns so to redeem himself he wanted to capture Harry Potter in the new tournament and as expected, he was caught in the act. All thanks to the great Uniphones.
Alexander wasn't going to let anyone spoil the Triwizard tournament. It was time for his prodigy Hermione to rise and shine. He removed all the people who could cause trouble from the equation.
Lucius and Umbridge were already in his pocket. He had also recently uncovered the whole conspiracy of Barty Crouch Jr being out of Azkaban and hiding in his father's house while his mother was rotting in Azkaban with polyjuice. The whole world was in shock when the news came out. It only made his new law easier to pass.
Now, death punishment was allowed as long as proven guilty. His new type of Pensive helped a lot in that matter. Most of the guilty ones still living in Azkaban were put to death, Barty Crouch Jr. Included. Karkaroff was also to be put to death within a week.
After Durmstrang, Beauxbatons came with their flying carriage pulled by many flying horses. Soon an extremely tall woman like a person came out of the carriage followed by the students.
She went to Dumbledore and gave him a hug. Her size dwarfed him in both length and breadth after that she looked at Alexander and went closer to him.
"Oh! It is a pleasure to meet you again Mr. Universe. I very much liked the new line of cosmetics you just invented." she blushingly said.
"Haha... The pleasure is all mine Madame Maxime. If you really like that product then you'll like the newer version of it even more. It will not just make your skin smooth and soft but will also make you look younger."
"My, you are doing such a boon for us witches." She flattered.
Dumbledore and the no-name new headmaster of Durmstrang came to them. "Let's head inside, Madame Maxime and Mr. Universe. It's time to start the feast"
"Yes yes, let's go, Albus." Madame Maxime said and walked away in a supposedly graceful manner.
"Hagrid's gonna fall in love with her. I can bet on it," Edward whispered to Alexander.
"No thanks, I don't bet on something I know I will lose." He said and followed. Of course Hagrid's gonna fall in love with her. Hagrid's social circle is even smaller than Snape in his emo days and it's very rare to find a half-giant woman so he'll be in the heat for sure.
...
Inside the great hall, things happened just as they were supposed to. Durmstrang and Beauxbatons made their cringy entrance. Dumbledore introduced him, Ludovic Bagman(Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports) and other headmasters. Plus the new permanent D.A.D.A. professor Sirius Black. As Voldermort was dead with all his Horcruxes destroyed, the D.A.D.A curse was lifted. Not that anybody knew about Voldermort's death.
After everyone had eaten their fill the tables from the center were removed and a giant goblet of fire was brought in.
Dumbledore stood up and introduced the flaming goblet.
"This is the goblet of fire. Anyone wishing to submit themselves for the tournament merely write their name upon a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so lightly, if chosen there's no turning back. As from this moment the tri-wizard tournament has begun. All students above 3rd year can put their names."
Unlike in the movies, because nothing dangerous happened in Hogwarts in the past 2 years and most of the magical world was at peace. The age limit was not increased.
...
After that, all the teachers exited the room. Hagrid suspiciously followed Madam Maxime. Alexander and Edward also went after them and found the giant boy Hagrid stalking and drooling on her from a distance.
*PAT*
As soon as Hagrid felt someone behind him his face turned pale as if his soul left his body. Then he looked back and became a bit calmer.
"It's just the professor... I mean Minister Universe. I thought it was someone else"
"Well, Hagrid. She won't be impressed if this is going to be your tactic. Let's go to your castle and talk there." He suggested.
Oh yeah, Hagrid has his own small castle now. Gifted to him by Alexander. His hut was burnt down when lightning struck it a year ago. Later Alexander came to Hogwarts and created a castle in a matter of minutes. Now he lives in a 20 room, 3 floors high castle. Big enough to let him live comfortably.
"Alright, Hagrid. If we're going to do this then we're going to do it the right way. The way you look right now, even a Forest troll wouldn't want you in her bed. You need to get rid of that crappy beard and long hair." Alexander said and conjured a pair of big shrub cutters.
"No... No professor. My beard is my life. I can't live w..." He started walking backwards in fear.
"Hagrid, what's important? Your filthy bush of Keratin or a nice naked lady like Madame Maxime by your side every day you wake up," Edward argued.
"What the hell Ed, I feel like puking now," Alexander lowly grunted.
"Hahaha... I am enjoying this way too much professor" Edward said with an evil laughter and made sniping sounds from bush cutters.
Hagrid's thick skull seemed to agree that giving up on Madame Maxime for a beard wasn't worth it.
What happened next was magic. The highest tier of magic. Making Hagrid from looking like a dumb dirty giant to a badass Viking. His beard was correctly trimmed and hair styled.
Alexander had to make him drink a crazy amount of permanent beauty potions that hadn't even been released to the market yet. The potions changed his facial structure and made him look more badass handsome than his earlier jolly kind face. His fat body had now turned into a body of a giant greek god.
"And the masterpiece is done. You can look in the mirror now Hagrid," Edward said with a proud face.
Hagrid slowly moved to a huge mirror and looked. He stood there motionless for 10 seconds.
"BLIMEY! who is this?... Is this an illusion?" He shouted and started caressing his face. After confirming that it was really him, he felt happy. Happy beyond words.
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"It's time for Madam Maxime to fall head over heels for you," Alexander said.
"Eh... I hope she likes this look" Hagrid mumbled to himself.
"Okay, now change your clothes to nice clean modern robes and head back to school and also take this wand," Alexander said with a long wand in his hand.
Hagrid just looked at his old wand which was taken from him so many years ago by the ministry.
"A-Are you sure?... It was confiscated..."
"Hagrid, I am the minister of magic. I write the Wizarding law. If I say you can have your wand, then you can have it" he forcefully pushed it into his hands.
Hagrid looked flabbergasted for a second and then quickly bear-hugged Alexander with small tears.
"haha...alright alright big man, don't break my old bones." he laughed, Edward also grinned, looking at the happy Hagrid.
...
Back in school, Hermione proudly put her name in the goblet of fire. Harry also put it, but this time when no one was trying to get him killed, the chances of his name being selected were close to 0. He was just a slightly above average wizard at best, except the D.A.D.A and Potioneering courses. His 2 godfathers were teaching him pretty good. The only talent he had was in quidditch.
Ron also put his name for just the sake of it. Alexander had always felt weird about Ron. Why was he the only one with no talent in anything? All his brothers were good at something. Even Ginny was better than him, that is if getting Harry into her pants was to be considered an achievement.
He conducted thorough research on the mind of Ron Weasley and what he found surprised him. It turned out that his brain was damaged in some ways. Not physically but magically. Later he also found out that Ron was conceived when Arthur Weasley was unknowingly under Imperious curse back in the time of 1st wizarding war against Voldemort.
When he told about his findings to the Weasley couple they broke down in tears. All these years they considered Ron a bad seed but it turned out that it was not his fault. He was bullied by his brothers for something that was out of his control. They asked Alexander if he could do something and he agreed to help.
These days, Ron was on a regular regime of potions that were supposed to heal his brain. Though he would live most of his life just being average but, at least it will be better than being below average. Still, he will try again when he levels up into the realm of the Supreme Magi.
...
Some days passed and finally came Thursday night. Everyone gathered around in the great hall. When Alexander entered with Hagrid, everyone gawked. The giant badass hunk looked so out of place. Madame Maxime checked Hagrid out with lustful gaze.
"You look... Amazing, Hagrid my friend," Dumbledore exclaimed.
"Hahaha... It's all thanks to Minister Universe here." He laughed it off, being as cheerful as always.
~Well, there were no potions to change someone's nature so Madame Maxime will have to satisfy herself with what she's getting.~ Alexander thought looking at simple-minded Hagrid.
"Let's see who are the chosen champions," Dumbledore spoke
The goblet spat out a piece of paper. Dumbledore caught it and announced.
"From the Durmstrang, we have Victor Krum as the champion" The hall erupted in clapping and cheers. Soon another piece came.
"From Beauxbatons, we have Fleur Delacour as the champion."
.
.
.
"From Hogwarts, we have... Hermione Granger" he announced.
Alexander started to crazily clap like a proud father. Soon the whole hall followed him and everyone started to clap. After that, they were all interviewed by Rita Skeeter. Though this time she came with a camera crew.
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