Bab 10: This family
I've been in my room for a while now, restless and completely idle. I feel useless and wasted, and I need to go out of this room, yet I can't until I know what games my mother is playing with me. She is completely alienating me, waiting for me to react but I won't give her any today. Lunch is fast approaching, but I don't have any appetite even after not receiving any mid-morning snack.
My mind has been racing on what options I should consider concerning my sister's life. With two in front of me: I ignore everything going on concerning my sister's marriage, she gets married as a form of transaction and she continues with a lifetime of duty and responsibility, or, I could look for ways to possibly save her from it and maybe, just maybe she ends up finding someone, fall in love and create a happy life together.
If I take the first option, my life will possibly end up as it has already been planned by my parents, but if I broach the second option, I will possibly face dire consequences, I do not know the extent of the consequences, but my life will never be the same again whether I end up successful or not.
My sister's life has never been one to admire according to me. The responsibility of being a princess is just too much especially for a first daughter. I've been lucky to be the younger one.
She is expected to be the embodiment of grace, strength and perfection. The queen's eyes are always on her, reminding her that her title is not a symbol of privilege but of duty and great responsibility. Her life is never her own, she lives according to rules every step of her life, waking up in the morning to an already planned schedule and will say nothing to change it.
The queen was trying to raise small queens like her from us, too bad she could not succeed in making me be like her. I've been difficult, according to her and she never fails to mention, "Unlike your sister who understands her responsibilities, your behavior is improper," she would often remind me.
On the other hand, my father calls me, 'my wild princess' which I kind of like it. I feel like wildness is associated with freedom even though I'm not free, but comparing my freedom with Laurel's gives a wide margin.
While I can be able to express my emotions, Laurel's emotions are completely hidden. My mother has been successful in training her to never show emotions especially in the presence of other people including her own family. She will not be caught off guard laughing, crying, complaining or roaming around.
But one thing is for sure there's a free-spirited young woman locked within her with heavy chains. The queen personally guards her prison cell within her and the key to that young woman is kept by my mother.
I've seen glimpses of that person. Laurel would sometimes let her out when it is just us and our brothers. Even with her maids, she never allows herself to show them how she feels. She has been raised not to trust anybody including servants. She knows most of the servants will end up reporting to the queen anything they feel like it will interest her, and even personal maids will do it in order to win the queen's favor.
My siblings and I enjoy a close relationship. Outsiders will never tell that we come from two mothers because of the bond we grew up sharing. The love I feel for Theodore and Sebastian is the same way I feel for Humphrey my eldest brother. Laurel's relationship is also the same across the three brothers.
Humphrey is the eldest with two years between him and my brother Theodore. Both of them should have been married by now as it is the norm of many nobles. Their delay to marry have caused some misunderstandings between them and our parents who seem eager to become grandparents.
Noble daughters are not exempted when it comes to early marriages and my father have been really patient with Laurel who is already past eighteen as most girls get engaged as early as sixteen and marries before eighteen. Maybe my father was unable to get a suitable groom befitting the kingdom of Elyvale as the marriage of a princess is for the benefit of the kingdom. Securing a chance to marry a royal is not easy, and many royals will select someone whom they feel will be most beneficial to the whole kingdom.
The two mothers in this family treats us all equally. There's no separate treatment to one's children. While my mother is the queen with no motherly attributes, my stepmother is a true mother. We do not feel any step relationship between us. The way the queen treats Humphrey her real son, is the same way she treats Theodore and Sebastian her stepsons, and the same goes for my stepmother, Meredith, who treats all the three sons equally.
Meredith for me has been nothing but a blessing, I am not sure how my life would have turned out if my father had not married her. She provides a safe haven for us, always there with open arms that do not discriminate us. She has wiped so many tears from my eyes caused by my own mother. Creating a bond and love between us that should otherwise be for my mother.
Despite their contrasting personalities, there's mutual respect between the two mothers and clear pathways. There is no 'other woman' between them as they both married my father politically with two years between the two marriages. They have become like sisters who contrasts each other in so many ways. Finding the two of them spending time together is very common. Sharing a meal, talking and laughing even in the absence of their husband.
My mother, queen Louisa, was definitely brought up understanding power and leadership. It is all she knows, politics at her fingertips. The people of the kingdom love her because she is a capable queen. The king credits her to the many changes she helped him implement that has contributed to the prosperity of the kingdom. And if the kingdom was to be shared between the two of them, then each will get an equal share.
Unlike my stepmother, my mother has no motherly instincts, all she sees are failures of her children including stepchildren. I do not know of any time my mother has recognize something good in me or my siblings, maybe my two elder brothers when they are discussing political matters but not as their mother but as their queen.
I gave up a long time ago trying to grasp her attention in any good way because it will never happen. She is blind to any achievements even the biggest but the slightest of mistake will not escape her watchful eyes.
My stepmother on the other hand can easily tell of the slightest sickness and discomfort offering everyday solace, too bad my mother's influence on Laurel is almost irreversible and will not allow any vulnerability even to the woman who can embrace it.
— Bab baru akan segera rilis — Tulis ulasan
Status Power Mingguan
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Power 
-- Power
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