/ Sports / dropped no time to write and no inspiration sorry
Peringkat tidak cukup
Ringkasan
dropped
Anda Mungkin Juga Menyukai
Bagikan pikiran Anda dengan orang lain
Tulis ulasanJace as a MC is a little overpowered however he still does have his human side in his love of his adopted brother. I think this story is developing a good way. English is not the authors fist language and that does come across however the story is still understandable and good to read.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โโโโ๐โ๐๐
ywyrwyrtruyiuoippklhlgjkhjgfjhfgdfszczxcbcmgffrqurpywpryoiqwrqwptyqhdslhgljdsghjldshlghdlkghdslhgmbnv,mcbvbs,bvjhdslfhb cxb,xcbv,mcbxmvbmcbvbjdhfjlhdfouehoiewyprue
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new works, you might want to contact rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters, or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Writing Quality isn't great, but it's readable and I was able to follow along. The story is fast-paced and skips over some details/information that I think is needed. I think where this book could probably have the most improvement is the description of the actual baseball games that are taking place. The entire game is just a list of each pitch, who hit what where, and when someone scores. I think if the games were seen through the mc's eyes with his narration of what's happening at the moment, what he sees and hears could make the games much more interesting. This is the spoiler part... I lost interest after Jace healed Theo. The possible relationship of Jace who is a freak athlete and Theo who is stuck to a wheelchair had me excited for the possible dynamic between the two. Then, Theo after not being able to walk his entire life managed to not only make the team but become the starting pitcher after what I think was just a few months. Oh, he can also pitch left-handed after just a bit of training.
Membuka SPOILERThis is a review of the first three chapters. The story is a mashup of a baseball and cultivation story. The main character(?), Jace, is a very old ninja assassin/cultivator who is reborn into a different world. In his new life, he is adopted into a baseball obsessed family. The story is interesting but the grammar is bad. There are many run-on sentences and problems with inconsistent verb tense. The author needs an editor. Overall, the story itself is promising but poor grammar brings this story down.
Penulis sparka
I like that Jace is such an overpowering MC. I don't know much about baseball, but to keep it short, I've been staying up until late at night for the past two days, just googling basic information about baseball. This is all very interesting, and I look forward to future releases! Can't wait to read more of the fascinating things you'll write! Keep up the good work! I support you!๐๐