Bab 10: Night Time Shenanigans
The night sky hung over us with a sense of calm as if nothing in the world could go wrong. I considered it deceiving because there was admittedly a lot going wrong in my life currently. A tender wave of night breeze caressed my skin, producing goosebumps on my bare arms. The sleeves of the shirt I had worn as a nightwear came barely down the shoulder. I was actually preparing to sleep when Aqsa barged into the room, calling everyone for a "talking session" out in the lawn. Hugging the shawl around me, I rested my head sideways on my knees and looked at Ramsha counting on her fingers all the people who had ditched us. Thankfully, it was only us, with no fifth years lingering anywhere near.
"With Arham these are six freaking morons who couldn't even inform us before disappearing into thin air like that." Ramsha imparted with a sour face as her eyes skirted around the circle.
"Rumor has it that Arham's in quite a mess, with his parents getting all divorced and stuff." Shazia looked around expectantly, as if to want someone to second the information she'd just let everything in on.
"Really?" Several surprised voices arose and a few nodded their heads.
"I heard that too."
Ramsha turned to me. "Poor chap right? It must be so hard for him to deal with it."
I nodded. "Hm."
"What about Zubair and Arisha? I thought they said they were coming."
Sarim barked out a laugh. All heads turned to him. "That guy was duped bro. The girl's parents engaged her to a captain and she didn't even protest. Zubair looked devastated."
Oh, thank God, I thought. Arisha was a dear friend from school. Even though new friends in college drifted us apart, we were still on quite good terms.
"How do you know?"
"He told me."
"Zubair is a netcase. I couldn't even believe Arisha actually freaking went out with him." I totally agreed with the person who said this.
"Hey wassup, guys?" A new voice said behind me and Rmasha and I both turned to see, but as my eyes landed on the person next to the speaker a wave of resentment washed over me. He had sauntered in our gathering with some of the fifth years.
I immediately turned back, hoping that he'd go away.
"Catching up." Somebody replied to the guy.
"Oh come on," the guy laughed, "you study in the same college."
"Just got done with gynae bro, how do expect us to keep tabs on each other with that going on?" Bilal responded.
"Okay, so let's listen to what our juniors are upto. Come on, give us space."
Shit. I kept my gaze lowered as they sat down across from where I sat with Ramsha and Bilal.
"So, who banged who?" The guy I now recognised as the one who had not so enthusiastically greeted us at the front door of the house, piped chattily.
"Or who exposed who?" Adil said looking around the circle, his eyebrows raised.
Why was he acting like I didn't exist? Why the freaking hell was he okay with everything that he was doing to me? My temper rose like milk at its boiling point.
Without thinking through, I bit on my words as I fired at him. "What about stole from who?"
For a brief moment he looked taken aback by my outburst but then he instantly composed himself, his eyebrows furrowing in a bad tempered frown.
Everybody looked between us, trying to grasp what just happened. I felt Bilal's hand on my shoulder and turned my eyes at him. He had his eyebrows raised, asking silently if everything was okay. I shook my head as I heard someone speak up to break the tension.
"My head, it's just-" I sighed. "I want to sleep." I said in a low voice.
"I'll come with you." Ramsha declared.
"No you guys, I'm fine. I can go by myself, I'm not a kid." I immediately said turning to face her. Everyone around us had already resumed back into the conversation. Clenching my jaw, I stood up and walked away from the group, heading back towards the bungalow.
---
I had slipped out of bed, when sometime after midnight, everybody got up from the logs and someone from the fifth year announced bedtime. We came back to the bungalow and went into our rooms. I was supposed to share one with Ramsha, and Noshaba from our group. But I couldn't sleep, I couldn't shake off what had just happened back at the circle. I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have told everybody what they didn't have a right to know. Cursing the moment I had decided to come down from the snooker room, I got up and made sure if Ramsha was asleep, then padded out.
I was leaning against the pillar of the porch, looking up at the starless sky, when he yanked me back by my arm, scaring the shit out of me. He whipped me around and pushed me back against the pillar. Too stunned to react, I could only stare at him completely baffled at his audacity.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing," he growled, "and who the fuck do you think you are? A mere fucking weakling of a daughter not-"
I slapped him across his left cheek, breathing heavily, in and out. That was the only way to stop him. I was almost panting as I stared at him with unblinking eyes as he looked at me with an expression of palpable astonishment. I could feel the heat of outrage radiating off his face.
"What the fucking shit is your problem, Adil?" I curled my fingers into fists at my side. "What did I ever do to you? You freaking kidnapped me, tried to shove wrong information into my mind, talked shit about my father, tried to manipulate me again and again. What the hell do you want? What did I ever do to you? I have already forgiven Uncle, why-"
He cocked his head a little to the side and eyed me askew. "Forgive Baba for what?" His voice was dangerously quiet, for a moment I feared he might whack my head against the pillar. My heart beat accelerated.
"For stealing and for corruption and-"
A laugh escaped his mouth and I stopped short. His voice was strangely eerie and hollow. There was such blankness in his eyes, I felt like he was suffocating me. "Is that what he told you?"
"Yes, because that's what happened." I enunciated every word, not having any intention to back down and let myself be affected by his manipulative tactics.
"Oh God, you make me guilty of fudging the events, Mashal, but look who's really doing the work. You could have easily been born yesterday, you're so remarkably witless, I'm surprised I was really intimidated by you when we were young."
I clenched my jaw, and tucked my lower lip between my teeth to stop them from wobbling. I didn't know what had prompted the lump to form in my throat: the fact that nobody had ever verbally abused me like that, or the fact that he actually remembered our childhood and was even once intimidated by me.
"29 December, your dear father filed a false case of corruption against mine. 30 December, kicked him out of the house. 16 February, Baba lost the case because Sahir Niazi's 'evidences' were too strong and perhaps also because the judge was also spoken for. They sentenced him 5 years of imprisonment. The noble Niazi gave 25% shares of the entire capital that Grandfather had built, so his step brother's wife and child could survive." His suddenly hardened, face slackened and shoulders hunched. "Jump to five years later, 16 February, Baba was finally released, but he was so weak, Mashal, the day he was supposed to come back home he freaking died."
My heart sank, I felt like drowning in total abyss. A chasm of death. My nails dug into my palms, breathing became ragged. I couldn't take it anymore. I always thought, I had always for the past fifteen years played the sentences, the words again and again in my mind, words of complaint and resentment that I'd say to Uncle for leaving us without any excuse. I had always, for the past fifteen years, had unknowingly waited for the day when we'd finally talk again. I had been looking forward to it. I had known it would come.
And now it wouldn't. It can't. Those words that were to be said, the feelings and emotions with which they were to be uttered, the hug at the end, all puffed up into nothingness. A cave of blackness erupted in my heart, erupted and then settled down. Erupted and then settled down.
"And if you don't believe me you could go and check the records. You think you cared about him, no Mashal you didn't. You want to know why I absolutely don't like you, tell me, why didn't you ever try to contact us. You had my email, we made it together, didn't we? Why didn't you? But regardless if you insist you do care, then prove it. Go and ask him to reopen the case, ask him to hire an unbiased auditor to recheck the reports. Not that it would bring him back, but at least the world would know my Baba wasn't a fraud." He took a step back. "But I know you wouldn't do that. You don't have what it takes to stand up against him, to stand up against the wrong, to step out of your comfort zone. You're used to comfort and luxuries. You're weak. We might have spent a really good time as kids, but really, better off not knowing each other."
With a last lingering look, he turned around and sauntered away back into the bungalow. I watched him leave, as tears tumbled out of my eyes. Choking a sob, I slid down against the pillar and clamped my mouth shut with both my hands. But the tears wouldn't stop, the anguish wouldn't fade, so I allowed myself to weep like a child, struggling to not make any noise, on the porch of the farmhouse, on the outskirts of the city, under the starless night sky.
---
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone