Bab 65: Loss of Control
Ori slowly slides the laptop away from him and calmly stands up, his expression locked in place. He pulls out the tickets Christy had gifted him earlier and leaves them on the counter before turning and heading towards the exit.
"Ori! Wait! Calm down before you do something stupid!" Bats shouts, knowing the kid was gonna explode any minute.
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not! Does this look like a 'fine' reaction to you!?" he gesticulates towards him.
"I just need some time alone, that so hard to understand?" Ori asks, his voice turning slightly hoarse as he completes his words. He turns to leave again but pauses when he bumps into Rebecca who'd stood in his way with her arms crossed.
"You're just gonna dip now? We haven't even given you your gifts yet! Just forget that bitch and do what everyone else does when something shitty happens!"
He tilts his head, "And what's that supposed to be?"
"Drink your sorrows away!"
...
He steps past her, ignoring her angry grumble at his actions.
"Ori, we all get this isn't something you wanted to hear, but dealing with it alone is a bad idea..." Bats states before letting out a sigh and shaking his head, "If you're gonna go no matter what, at least come back after you're done? Renting this place wasn't exactly easy."
...
"I'll come back. I don't know when." Ori offers before finally leaving.
"He isn't gonna kill anyone, is he?" Hazel tentatively asks, but doesn't get an answer from anyone present...
------------------------
Ori calmly steps out of the lounge and walks down the street, his heart thumping hard in his chest as he reaches his destination. He steps through the doors and approaches the reception, "An hour in the Sensory Deprivation Tank, please."
Once paid, he enters the private room and strips all of his clothing, tossing his gun atop the pile as he climbs into the tank, which seals shut with a hiss as it pressurises, adjusting to peak comfortability for the human body.
Once he was properly situated, he squeezes his eyes shut and finally let go of his emotions...
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
...
...
"YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU FUCKING PLAY ME LIKE THIS!? TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING PUPPET!? I'LL FUUUCCKKKIINNNGG ENNNNNDDD YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU-"
...
...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!-"
...
...
"-HAND ME YOUR FUCKING CONCERT TICKETS AND EXPECT ME TO SIT THERE FOR YOUR PUBLICITY SHIT!? I'LL BOMB THAT FUCKING BUILDING AND EVERY CUNT INSIDE OF IT!!! YEEAAAARRRRSSSS YOU SPENT PLAAAYING MEEE! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAA-"
...
...
"WAS IT YOU WHO LED THOSE FUCKS TO CASINHA!? YOU WHO KEPT FUUUCKING POSTING PICTURES OF IT!? WEEERRREEE THE GANGS THERE FOOOOR YOOOOUUUUU!!!?!???? CHRIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"
...
...
"Hah... Hah... Hah..." Ori exhaustedly breathed, his throat torn apart by his screaming, and the only reason he hadn't passed out from tearing his vocal cords was due to the nanite's intervention...
He opens his eyes and looks up at the completely black roof of the tank he was lying in, the hilarity of the shit situation he'd found himself in finally hitting him. "Haha... Hahaha.... Hahahahahaha!" he laughs, snot and tears still dripping down his face and into the shallow water he was floating in.
Really! It was like reality wanted to hurt him! No one in Night City had it worse than he did! Even those guys who get zeroed in the streets get a quick end! But him!? Hit after hit after hit! The punches never stop coming, first it takes his family, then his 'friends', and once he has nothing left it'd take that too! HE WOULD HAVE LESS THAN NOTHING, AND THE WORLD STILL WOULDN'T BE SATISFIED!
[Mental Instability found, Request Permission to correct Anomaly: Flesh Administrator]
"HAHA! WHY FUCKING NOT!? NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA MATTER IN THE END, RIGHT!? HAHAHAHA-hahahaaha....ha... R-i..ght...?" he trails off, his fluttering as the nanites go about their work.
A profound itchiness digs into the folds of his brain, making him want to open up his skull to scratch it... His arms stay put however, as he was unable to move them... Unable to move anything, really.
Why wasn't he freaking out about that?
He didn't know... Well, he knew, but he didn't know why he knew, no, that's not right. He knew why he wasn't freaking out but didn't know why he wasn't, this was definitely something he should be freaking out about...
No, even then... Freaking out about something like this was meaningless...
He somehow moves his arm up to his face and clenches his fist a couple of times, taking in the sensation of control. He then lets it drop, continuing to just lay there alone with his thoughts.
The betrayal he'd just experienced seemed to push him over the edge. He could see that now, though, was it even a betrayal? Christy never did anything overtly against him, he'd never asked, she'd never lied, nor had she intentionally harmed him.
In fact, she'd continued to help him even after Casinha was destroyed. Lending him money, attempting to converse with him, even if it was just a ploy for publicity... Why was he thinking about murdering her again...?
Logically, it was because of his affection for her, which was spurned by what he'd learned... He overreacted. Killing her would be more than pointless, the danger it would bring outweighed whatever satisfaction he might have gained by many degrees...
Still, there was the high possibility of Christy's actions being the cause of what happened to Casinha, though, this might just be wishful thinking, attempting to hoist responsibility for it onto someone else.
Regardless of his current incredibly lucid state, he wasn't entirely sure if making her the cause was due to his reasoning or internal biases.
No. He wouldn't touch her. Not unless further evidence came to light... He remember Rogue's quirky reaction at his asking what happened to Casinha, so purchasing the information was probably best. No point in bumbling to a possibly incorrect conclusion.
"Hmm." was there a reason he'd never done this before? He couldn't think of any negatives...
"Ah..." he utters when thinking back to it, "Wanting to retain my humanity... What did that even mean though? Humanity didn't mean anything, outside of the pre-established moral implications, most drawn from tradition and evolution.
The aversion to eating human flesh probably came about due to the deadly prion diseases ingesting human brains could cause... Was there any actual benefit to retaining 'humanity' however?
He didn't know... And that scared him...
Scared him?
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