Bab 59: Lesson on fun

Liz was happy and anxious that Max agreed to teach her how to be a fun-having girl.

"OK. I am ready to accept your fun-related knowledge."

Max laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Sure. How do you want us to go about it?"

Liz pursed her lips while thinking. "You tell me how you are having fun and I can try it out."

Max paused. There is NO WAY he will tell her about girls and drinking, alright? On the other side, he can use this to get Liz to do almost anything. Oh, he can use this situation in so many ways.

He looked at Liz's honest eyes and told himself not to get carried away. "That is not how things work. People are different, so not everyone will agree that the same things are fun."

"But everyone agrees that I am NOT fun.", Liz sulked.

Max felt a headache coming. She is treating this like some kind of a lesson that she can learn and then the fun will come at her. He sighed while thinking how to make this work.

"OK. Let's try to establish few rules. If you are going to have fun, you need to stop caring what other people think. There will always be someone who will not approve no matter what you do. If you are trying to please everyone, you will not succeed and that is not fun."

Liz nodded with a serious expression. "Got it. What's next?"

"You said it, fun is about living in a moment. Don't think about consequences but focus on what makes you feel good and go for it. Do what you want to do right now, regardless of what other people will think."

Liz thought for a second before asking: "What if I want to punch someone?"

Max realized that she is referring to him punching that snobby doctor, and he will use that as an example of having fun. "Good question. If your fun urge involves someone, then you have two options. Option one is that you don't care about that person. In which case, if you want to punch him, just do it. Option two is that you care and in that case you should make sure that the other person is willing to participate, because if the person you care about is not having fun, you will not have fun either… Does any of this makes sense?"

Liz's eyes darted around while she processed Max's words, and she decided to confirm her understanding by providing examples: "You don't care about Dr. Snow, and you felt like punching him and you did it."

"Correct.", Max confirmed happily. She understood his example perfectly. She is smart!

"And for the option number two…", Liz continued. "You care about me, and that is why you didn't do anything inappropriate during the two nights we slept together because you don't want me to hate you."

Max blinked few times when he realized that she said how he cares about her like it's a totally normal thing. "Correct again."

Liz was happy that she understood his fun-having lesson so far. But it seems there is a lot to it… "I think I should write these down."

Max was able to imagine Liz with a notepad and a pen. "I believe you got it. But don't write it down, that will kill the fun. Let me summarize it for you: Do what you feel like doing at the moment, and don't worry about others unless your fun can hurt someone you care about."

Liz repeated that few times in her mind. Sound easy enough. "I didn't realize that there is such a wisdom hidden under having fun. I always thought that fun are parties and drinking and stuff."

"It is fun if you are into those things." Max realized that since he met Elizabeth, he is not enjoying those things. He added: "Sometimes, it's not about what you are doing, or where you are doing it… it is about with whom you are."

"I can relate to that.", Liz seriously said.

"Really?"

"Yes. Last night in the Black Rose nightclub, I didn't have fun until you came to my rescue."

Max wondered, is this an indirect love confession? He wanted to clarify: "Are you saying that you had fun because I was by your side? Or because you drank freely with the knowledge that I will take you home at the end of the evening?"

"How are those different?"

Max was not sure if he should laugh or cry. "They are different. One is that you were happy to be with me, and the other one is that you were happy to drink."

Liz thought about it for some time. "You were there, I was drinking, and I was happy. It is all connected."

Max gave up.

He pointed at the empty wine bottle. "Do you want me to open another one?"

Liz puffed her cheeks. "Mia and Bri are visiting. I should go home."

"Is that what you want to do?", Max asked.

Liz perked up. "Is this a practical part of having fun?"

Max confirmed. "Don't think what you should do. If you don't want to go home, I'm sure that Mia and Bri can manage and they will not mind that you didn't go home in time for dinner. Tell me, what do you want to do? Do you want to go home? Or stay here? Or go somewhere else?"

"What do I want?", Liz closed her eyes and sighed. "I want that today didn't happen. I want that I rejected Dr. Snow's offer of lunch sternly. I know that those are in the past and I can't change the past, but for the future… I don't know what I want."

Liz sighed again and opened her eyes.

She looked at Max. "I don't want to face him. I don't want to face what is there…", she gestured toward Seattle. "I like it here. Away from everyone and everything… I know that I was supposed to come up with something fun, but I really need a break."

Max looked at Liz's distressed expression and realized that today the image of her perfect Dr. Snow crumbled, and she has troubles accepting it. He wondered if Liz made the same expression when she saw their photo online with the nasty comments below it. Was she sad like that when his image of a good friend (and maybe more than a friend) got replaced with someone who used her? How much was she hurting that she had to go all the way to New York?

"I'm sorry.", Liz said when she saw that Max's face dropped. "I didn't mean to kill the mood. It's just that… I am horrible at having fun, and I can't think of anything…"

Liz stopped talking when Max pulled her in for a hug.

"Sometimes even if you are in the middle of the best party, you don't feel like having fun… and you just need a hug.", he said while tightening his hold on her.

Max didn't say that he is the one who wanted a hug… to feel her close and to tell her that he is sorry, and that he didn't mean to hurt her. But he hoped that his hug will tell her at least some pieces of what is on his mind.

Liz didn't deny that she needs a hug. And Max's hug was warm and comforting and solid. Her hands wrapped around him and she took a deep breath, inhaling his perfume, and everything faded away. Nothing else mattered other than his firm chest pressing against hers and right there in his arms she felt peaceful.

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