Bab 19: C19: Vaughn

[ Friday, September 30 ]

I poured the raisin bran into the bowl and poured some milk over it. I sunk the spoon and scooped a spoonful of it and put it in my mouth. I looked down into my bowl to see the cereal that I'm eating, and I stirred my spoon in the bowl like a child who has no idea about what he's doing. My father is busy reading the newspaper in the living room, while my mother is busy sweeping the floor.

I was discharged the day after Summer visited me in the hospital. She promised that she'll continue searching for my health condition since it's complicated. It's been 21 days since we last talked, but I received no news yet. I can't say I'm surprised. When I was the one who's doing the job, I hardly get any more tracks after the hospital. She must be alive, but if there's one obvious thing here, it's the fact that she's avoiding me. I know Amethyst. Whenever she's upset, she hides it, just like right now. Showing her emotions is a weakness, that's why when she witnessed Sasha and I kissing, she ran away instead of fixing the problem.

Crying isn't a weakness. It's a human thing. However, that's not how Amethyst sees things.

Whenever I remember how she was when everything's okay years ago – she's always been the kind who made a high wall as a boundary between the employees and her, who's their boss. That's how sir Gabriel taught her to be. She got used to the life where career and business are the top priority in life, not relationships or anything else. I can't blame her for that. After all, she's handling a resort and hotel business.

One thing that worries me is this – Amethyst, as far as I know, isn't a forgiving person. I've known her for eight years and all the people who messed with her are never forgiven. I can be wrong and it's possible that she might change, but I can't help but remember all the grudges that she had for those people. As harsh as it sounds, she dumps people when they become a problem. I was her fiancé. I want to believe that love doesn't keep records of wrongs. Can she still forgive me or at least listen to my explanation?

"Vaughn?" I raised my head to look at my mother who called my name. Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts – the same thoughts that I'm going through whenever I'm alone. "Gabriel's …"

My eyes widened as I see sir Gabriel step inside our house. Am I dreaming? I thought he doesn't want to see me unless I have Amethyst with me? His appearance here was so out of the blue.

Sir Gabriel stood there, his eyes fixed on mine. For some reason, it makes me feel that nobody else is in the living room. The longer it takes him to speak, the better I feel. Part of me wants to tell him,

'If you're here because you want to see how sick I am, then please leave, I don't need your pity,' and another part of me wants to say, 'I'm sorry if I'm not being productive right now. I'm still trying to track things, I still talk to my connections but I still don't have any useful results.' Although I know myself – whether he is my father-in-law or not, there's no way I'll be that vocal and say things that can offend anyone.

His expression was blank, but I can tell how hard it is for him to step further because he knows how our last meeting was like where he wanted to probably choke me to death or punch me on the face.

His wife, Jasmine, entered our house too. My father stood up and put the newspaper down. Both families haven't met or talked since the accident happened, now things are all awkward and everything is full of tension. It makes me think, what are they here for? Is this to tell me that whether Amethyst is dead or alive, they want me out of her life or something? That the wedding will be canceled because I'm going to die anyway? I forgot to tell Summer that she shouldn't tell anyone about my disease, but knowing the lady, she'll never shut up. Summer has always been vocal about everything. If there's one word to describe her, it'll be 'unfiltered.'

I can tell that Sir Gabriel has no idea about where to start. I certainly don't know how to either because it already felt like my image was too ruined, to the point where they no longer should see the need to see me – especially not in my house. Why do I have the feeling that he feels like he's going to hurt his pride if he'll apologize?

"Let me get this straight … I'm here to tell you that we want to bring you to Massachusetts. Summer told me about your condition and we're willing to help." He said, without bothering to mention what we talked about last time.

"Vaughn, we're worried about you. How are you feeling now? Does something hurt or …?" Jasmine asked, her facial expression softening, eyes filled with worry. I see the sincerity in them, although part of me rejects the entire thing. Maybe because I'm not used to seeing them help.

"Son, we're willing to help you with your operations. I know you can get through this. You were able to survive in all my tests for the past seven years of you courting my daughter. I know you can also survive this illness too." Sir Gabriel added, nodding in approval. My parents looked at each other and looked back to them, but no words can explain what they have in mind.

I can't blame them. The offer is overwhelming. Too overwhelming to the point where it doesn't feel real anymore. More importantly, they called me son.

"You're calling me, son?" I asked, verifying if I wasn't daydreaming about what I've heard.

"Yes, you heard it right. You deserve to be called as one," he said, a sincere smile flashed on his cheeks. "Stop the search, Vaughn. Let others do the work. For now, what matters is your health condition."

"Welcome to the family," Jasmine beamed as she said those words. Should I call them mom and dad from now on, and not Sir and Ma'am? Part of me wants to reject the right. It's just that … everything is a mess. I don't even know if Amethyst can even forgive me. Just in case she returns, the marriage is impossible. Taking a favor from their family is a little too much, especially if we won't end up together in the end. It feels like I'm using them.

The truth is, I've been longing to hear this from them for ages. Favorable turn of events, I suppose. The pain is there – the pain about everything as well as regrets – but here they are, giving me the right to be a part of the family. There are lots of things to fix, but I better stop worrying about tomorrow. I know that even God said that in everything, give thanks. In sorrows or in joy, rejoice.

This may be a little start, but it's still something. The only thing left is my attitude and response to all of these things.

"I don't know how to thank you for everything," I spoke, articulating my thoughts in my head, finding the best words that I can use to show how grateful I am. "I'm not a rich man but I feel more than blessed because I have you. Mom, dad, I thank you for everything. I do accept the offer, but I want that to happen when Amethyst is already here. I want to prove myself first that I'm worthy enough to receive all of these favors."

"You are more than worthy, Vaughn. This isn't the time to be a martyr. I appreciate your altruism but you know that your kindness brought you to trouble. You should take care of yourself too. How do you think can you continue the search if you're not physically well?"

"I'm sorry, dad," I looked down and gulped. Calling him dad feels off, I thought. It felt too new and weird like something isn't right. I'm more used in calling him sir because he's been my boss for a couple of years now. So, the adjustment between being a boss to father-in-law is overwhelming. "I have a strong feeling that she'll be back, soon. I would appreciate if I can have her while the treatment is going. I might feel better if she's here."

"Very well, then so be it. We'll talk about all of these more sometime soon."

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I placed my fingers over the piano keys, testing which notes would blend for the song that I'm planning to compose. A couple of days ago, I wrote its lyrics and now I have to add the right tune for it. I know so many people who love ranting on social media. But I want to be different. I prefer expressing what I feel through songs and poems.

---

Back on that very first day

when I met you

I couldn't find the right words

My heart was tearing up in joy

And that's all I know

I decided to hug you

Which felt like an eternity

Now we're being torn apart by the time

Just as time tears apart everything

Come back home now, dearest

Everything's going to be fine

No more worries

No more heartbreaks

Just you and me

'Till death do us part

---

I closed my eyes as I sing the song and find the perfect tune. But as I get drowned in the music, my phone began ringing which brought me back to the reality. I picked up my phone to answer the call from Summer.

"Al, we need to talk," Summer said, as if in a panic.

"You're calling me Al now? That was random. What's with you?"

"Just for a little change. But anyway, that doesn't matter. I have a news about your girl and that's that."

The rush of blood roars in my ears, hammering in time with my heart like a drum. Is this a dream? Wake me up if this is one, I can't handle a false alarm. I'm done dreaming and hoping for another nothing.

"What news? Can't you get this straight? You know I'm dying to hear a news every day! Spill it!"

"Woah, Woah. Easy there. I should've told you this two weeks ago. Amethyst sent me an email and told me about where she is and everything that I have to know. She emailed me last September 12, saying that she's in the Edevieth. She mentioned that she just needed some space to breathe and re-think her life. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you, she strictly told me not to tell anyone else about it. So please, even if you know her email, don't contact her. Let me handle this."

"How can I not know about this? I deserve to know everything. Did she say when she'll come back? If so, when? Who is she with?"

"Have you heard of Shawn Daniel Barron? She's living with him, together with some kids. It's some kind of orphanage for the typhoon survivors. I know you still have lots of questions but save it for now. I'll go to Edevieth tomorrow and not even dad is aware of this. I just told him that I'll meet someone I know in a province."

"Shawn Barron? Is he James Barron's son? You know, the politician?"

"Yes, and apparently, he's my boyfriend or ex so I know I have to take action, like some serious action. I got alarmed about this, so believe it or not, I can imagine how you feel like now. I'll update you again after we talk. Bye." Summer finally said and hanged up.

Just like what she said, I have lots of questions. Hundreds of questions. I hate the fact that she left me hanging, but I can't do anything else but follow. Amethyst is getting closer and the news made me feel a little better. Better, but dying to know more. How can I even sleep tonight? That I doubt.