Bab 16: Chapter 16: Language of Love
"Would you like to come over?"
Here comes the moment that men wait for at the end of a date. Everything today led up to this, the first night together. Perhaps tomorrow morning, we could say that another happy couple has formed in Gotham. Not every girl will invite you over at half past ten at night after the first date, especially a girl like Victoria Elizabeth Vale. And since she's hinting at this in no uncertain terms, she's clearly experiencing a strong attraction. How can I resist such a temptation? And one more question: why resist this temptation?
The choice that most men would make in my place is quite obvious. Many would accept the invitation without hesitation. There can be nothing more foolish than refusing in such a situation, especially to a girl you like or are in love with. Of course, you thought that I would undoubtedly accept Vika's offer… Well, I will hasten to disappoint you and say no.
"It was a wonderful, eventful evening, and it seems I've already become a little boring to you. I won't take up any more of your time. I'll let you rest from me. Thank you for the invitation, of course…" My answer greatly surprised the lovely lady. She couldn't even imagine that her rather obvious hint would be so easily ignored.
Besides, she knew that I liked her, and that's why my refusal came as a complete surprise.
"I hope you won't refuse me another date?" I hastened to ask, so as not to give rise to doubts in her smart little head about my interest.
"Uh, yes, of course... When?"
"As soon as everything is ready, I will definitely notify you," I smiled.
"Ready? What exactly? What are you planning?"
"It will be a surprise," leaning over, I lightly kissed Vika on the lips. "Good night."
"Good… Alex, thank you again. This was the best date of my life," she said, heading to her entrance.
I started the car and drove into the night city. Despite the fact that the streets of Gotham City were executed in a neo-Gothic style, and there was an atmosphere of foggy gloom, it was impossible not to notice that there was something fabulous and magical about this city. And this, despite the fact that many criminal clowns live here. I'm talking not only about the Joker but also about other psychos from Arkham Asylum.
I stopped the car on the outskirts of the city by the river, which, if you don't know exactly, could be mistaken for a huge lake. The current was barely noticeable, and in the darkness of the night, the waves were barely discernible. I breathed in the fresh night air and admired the reflections of the moonlight on the water. I think you're eager to know why I didn't stay with Vika that night.
I could say that the reason is my intuition. But I don't think such an explanation will satisfy you, so I'll try to elaborate more. It's not easy to achieve love, and it's even more difficult to keep it. Ladies' men seek the love of many beauties. And it's worth admitting that no matter how many victories they win, they suffer just as many failures, of course, preferring to keep quiet about the latter. Moreover, having won the favor of a girl and created, as it seems to them, a strong couple, after a short time, their relationship collapses.
Not because someone cheated on or betrayed someone, but because they speak different love languages. You know, there are many tips for successful pickup. We mostly choose two or three methods that seem most suitable to us and use them. And we can even say that, yes, they work. Alas, but not in the long term.
So what's the matter? Are these tips useless? I can't say for sure. But what I can assure you is that we should speak the language of love with the one we love. Let me explain what this means. There are many languages in the world: English, Mandarin, Russian, Hindi, and so on. But each person has their own — native language.
Over time, we can learn other languages, but this requires a lot of effort. And yet, our native language is the one in which we think, experience, and speak from early childhood. If we meet a foreigner, in order to express the simplest thought, we gesticulate, draw pictures, and try with all our might to explain our thoughts. But this is not very convenient, and for communication to flow more smoothly, we have to learn new languages.
It's the same with emotions. The language in which we express love may differ from the language of our other half, like English from Chinese. It's useless to explain love in English if she only understands Chinese. So, according to psychologist Gary Chapman, there are five main languages of love — five ways in which we express love.
From a linguistic point of view, any language can have dialects. The language of love can have them too. There are five main languages, and everything else are dialects. So, the five languages are: words of encouragement, time, gifts, help, and touch.
A man cannot immediately understand what language his partner speaks. Of course, even casual meetings and easy conversations can be the beginning of a romantic relationship, but if you do not find out the main preferences of your other half as soon as possible, then most likely such a relationship will quickly come to an end.
My situation is somewhat different. I do not need time to find out. Thanks to my intuition, I know exactly what the love language of my partner is. For Vikki Vale, it is gifts... To love means to give.
Gifts are symbols of love and reminders because, in order to give someone a gift, you must think about them. A gift is a symbol of this thought. It does not matter how much money you spent. The main thing is that you thought about the person. Only your thought, reflected in the gift, is precious.
When a child gives his mother a flower picked from a flower bed, she feels loved. That is why one of the foundations of love is a gift. Even when people get married, they exchange wedding rings – these are symbols of their love. But these symbols are important to some and not to others.
That is why people have different attitudes towards wedding rings. Some never part with them. Some never wear them. This once again confirms that we speak different languages of love. If my native language is gifts, I will proudly wear a ring given to me by my wife.
Each gift from her is dear to me, I see love in them. And if I do not receive gifts, I begin to doubt her love for me. Gifts come in all colors and sizes. Some are expensive, others are worthless. A person who speaks the language of gifts is usually indifferent to the price. For her, the main thing is the fact of this action. You can buy a gift, find one, make one yourself, or pick wild flowers.
There are also gifts like these, which you can't hold in your hands, but sometimes they are much more precious than ordinary ones. We can give ourselves, our presence. If we are there when our other half needs us, it will tell her a lot. Being there for a loved one in difficult times is the best thing we can give them if their native language is gifts.
We ourselves become a symbol of love. When there is no symbol, our companion stops feeling our love. It is not necessary to give gifts every week. They do not have to be expensive. Their value does not depend on the cost, because a gift is a symbol of love.
That is why I made Vika so many gifts: a basket of sweets, a book "The Little Prince," her portrait, and a composition that I played for her.
Of course, my courtship was not limited to gifts. I showered her with compliments, devoted my time, and said words of encouragement. If your companion's language is gifts, this does not mean that you should neglect other love languages. You should show her various manifestations of love, but still, her main language should dominate.
And now we finally smoothly move on to the main question: why did I refuse Vika? You must understand one thing, that each person has a "vessel" that needs to be filled with love. We all want our "love vessel" to be full – this is our need.
When we fall in love, it fills a little, but only for a while. Falling in love is just an obsession. And for this obsession to grow into true love, it is necessary to fill this "vessel." However, even love can disappear over time.
To prevent this from happening, it is necessary for the "vessel" to remain full. However, an ordinary person is not able to know what level of love in the vessel the indicator arrow shows. Here I intervene again with my "but." Again, thanks to intuition, it is not difficult for me to determine how full the "vessel" of my partner is.
You might now think that Vika's "vessel" was empty, or more likely, incomplete… I hasten to disappoint you, it was filled to the brim. I can safely say that she loves me. But in that case, our question still remains unanswered. Why did I leave? Because I always try to tell the truth. And I was going to tell Victoria that in the future, I intend to date several girls. Do you think she would accept it if she heard about it today? Of course not! And my intuition was just screaming about it!
Having no other option, I just left. In order for her to agree to share me with other girls, I need to make her "love vessel" overflow. In other words, there must be so much love that it flows over the edge. And in this case, when I tell her the truth, her love for me will cool down, and the vessel will no longer be overflowing.
However, it will still be full! That is, she will still love me, just like now. So there is no need to rush things. Let everything take its course.
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