Bab 17: Hope and fear.
As they were returning to the mansion, Cyrus paused at the front steps. His eyes lingered on her face "I have to return to the palace," he said quietly. "There are matters I need to attend to. Would you like to come with me?"
Nila hesitated. The idea of accompanying him to the palace, to that grand place where the weight of his title felt more suffocating than freeing, sent a shiver down her spine. She had just started to feel like herself again, free from the expectations and the overwhelming presence of the royal court. The mansion, though quiet and unfamiliar, felt safer in comparison.
"No," she said softly, shaking her head. "I think I'll stay here."
Cyrus nodded, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of disappointment. He didn't push her. "I'll be back later tonight," he promised. "If you need anything, the staff is at your disposal."
His eyes lingered on her face as if searching for something, ''I love you,''
Cyrus's words left Nila's eyes wide open at this point she was sure she would die soon affected by some heart disease, ''How...how could you say such things easily?''
Nila was fuming, the tips of her ears and nose red.
Softly smiling he replied, ''I say it because I mean it and I will say it to you every day when I am leaving to manage the palace affairs, or going to bed, or anytime I feel like it, you will hear this every day,''
Nila scoffed, ''Unbelievable,'' she muttered under her breath.
Nila nodded as if saying goodbye, watching as he turned and made his way towards the palace. She waited until he disappeared before retreating inside. The mansion, with its vast halls and large windows, felt eerily empty without him. The maids, who flitted in and out of rooms like ghosts, seldom spoke unless spoken to, and Nila found herself wandering from one room to another, searching for some kind of distraction.
She sat in the library for a long time, her fingers brushing over the spines of books she couldn't bring herself to read. Then she moved to the drawing room, where the ticking of the clock echoed too loudly in the stillness. Eventually, she retreated to her room, pacing back and forth, waiting for something or anything to happen.
Maybe even waiting for someone.
In the late afternoon, a knock at her door startled her from her restless thoughts. One of the maids entered, holding a delicate envelope. "A letter for you, my lady."
Nila's heart skipped a beat as she took the letter. The seal and the handwriting on the front were familiar, and when she opened it, her eyes immediately filled with tears.
My dear Princess,
I hope this letter finds you well. I miss you terribly, but I am happy to report that I am doing fine. The king has been kind to us, and we are settling into a routine. I hope you are finding your peace, though I know that must be difficult in your current situation.
Please know that I think of you often and that I am always here if you need me. You are stronger than you know, Nila and I do not doubt that you will find your way through this.
PS: Mum misses you more but will never admit it.
With love,
Laila.
Nila smiled through her tears. Laila. Just seeing her name made Nila feel less alone. And the head maid, Laila's mother, someone who had been a mother figure to Nila in more ways than she could ever express. Knowing they were doing well lifted a small weight off her chest, but at the same time, it made her realize how much she missed them. She had been too caught up in her turmoil to reach out to those who had always stood by her.
Wiping her tears, Nila carefully folded the letter and tucked it away in her drawer. She would write back to Laila later, but for now, the sadness was too fresh, and the weight of solitude pressed down on her.
As the evening stretched into night, Nila found herself sitting in the dining room, alone. Lunch had been a quiet affair, with only the clinking of her spoon against her plate to keep her company. Dinner was much the same. The food, was different and maybe due to stress Nila might have over-eaten but the more she filled her stomach the more restless she grew.
The maids seemed surprised by her appetite but masked it quickly.
Where was Sol? He had promised to return, but the hours were slipping away, and with each passing moment, her unease grew. Nila had tried to distract herself by reading, sitting in the parlour, by pacing the halls, but nothing seemed to fill the growing void inside her. She hadn't realized how much she had grown used to his presence until now when she found herself waiting for him.
By the time the moon had risen high in the sky, Nila couldn't bear to stay inside any longer. She slipped out into the garden, the cool night air a welcome change from the stifling silence of the mansion. The garden was peaceful, bathed in silver moonlight, the flowers swaying gently in the breeze. While pacing through the garden she found a small bird, fallen from its nest.
''Oh you poor thing, you must be so cold and hurt!''
The poor creature fluttered helplessly on the ground, its tiny body trembling. Nila knelt beside it, her heart aching for the fragile life in front of her. Gently, she scooped the bird into her hands, cradling it close to her chest. She couldn't leave it there, helpless and alone.
As she tended to the bird, whispering soft reassurances, she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Her heart leapt in her chest, and she turned to see Cyrus standing at the edge of the garden, his expression a mix of relief and concern.
"I've been looking for you," he said, his voice rough with worry. "I came back and you weren't in your room. Or the library. I thought…"
Nila glanced down at the bird in her hands, then back up at him. "I couldn't stay inside any longer," she admitted, her voice soft. "It was too quiet. And then I found this little one…"
Cyrus moved closer, kneeling beside her. His eyes softened as he looked at the bird. "You have a way with creatures, don't you?" he murmured, his voice low. "Always so gentle. So kind."
Nila stared at him for a while watching him settle next to her. For a long moment, they sat in silence, the only sound the soft rustling of the wind and the quiet chirping of the night creatures. The tension between them was palpable, a push and pull that neither of them could escape.
Eventually, Nila stood, cradling the bird in her hands. "I need to find its nest," she said, her voice shaky.
Cyrus stood as well, watching her with those intense eyes. "I'll help you."
And as they searched the garden together, side by side, the distance between them seemed to shrink, ever so slightly.
As they placed the bird back in its nest, Nila glanced up at the moonlit sky, her heart torn between hope and fear.
Nila hoped that he stayed the same as the Sol she knew.
And she feared the possibility of him being the Cyrus she heard about.
Hadiah
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