Hey guys sorry if this chapter has bad grammar and flow, most decent gen AI editing tools are down right now, because I think OpenAI crashed, so I haven't really been able to edit this properly.
—
The sun had yet to rise over the Clover Kingdom to signal the next day, yet Sebastian was already out and about in the humid summer morning.
He couldn't sleep much through the night, waking up at an ungodly 4am, and knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. When he woke up early, he was the type to stay up.
Not to mention that he slept through the day after falling unconscious during his fight with Mereoleona and his talk with Acier kept him up, his mind buzzing with many things.
Things that scared him, because the more he thought about them, the more bewildered he grew at how he could've previously ignored such glaring contradictions, coincidences, and obvious facts.
He needed a change of pace, so he got out of his bed, careful to not wake up Acier, and took a stroll through the Silva estate, passing through the fields with a particular destination in mind.
House Silva's private cemetery.
Acier's words and grievances from their talk on the beach occupied his mind.
Although you have problems with my Grandfather for what happened to your parents, my Father had nothing to do with it. Is it so much to fucking ask to pay your father-in-law a visit during his death anniversary!
That day wasn't today, but it was safe to say, a visit was long overdue. Moreover…
I-I'd b-be so d-disappointed in myself… ashamed… that I ever doubted your love. That I ever doubted Father's words…
Her words from yesterday, further fueled his inner turmoil. Sebastian could've sworn that just like her grandfather, Acier's father hated his guts, even before he showed his "true" face.
And that in itself was a contradiction. How on earth could've Sebastian Silva secured Acier's hand in marriage, and become Lord Silva, if the two previous Lord Silva's detested his very being?
Perhaps, Acier could've insisted on marrying him, sure. But that doesn't automatically make him the next Lord Silva, Acier could've been disowned and abandoned by her house if she was adamant on going against her grandfather's and father's wishes and marrying the "detestable" man that he was.
That was typical noble and royal protocol, to deal with disobedient children.
Though of course that wouldn't have been a possibility because Acier was adored by her grandfather as his pride and joy.
And although her father was a pretty unreadable man, from Sebastian's memories he was quite positive that he shared that feeling.
And then after marrying the eldest daughter Sebastian would be a shoe in for the next Lord Silva, as Aurelia married out of the house, and no matter how much Acier's family despised him, they would have no choice but to pass down the title of Patriarch to him, lest they want to give the branch families watching them like hawks some fuel for their dark ambitions, and incentive to try to usurp power.
That is a logical conclusion.
But the issue is, how did a nobody like Sebastian Silva even get approval as a suitor for Acier Silva in the first place?
How was he even alive today?
It's not uncommon for royalty and nobility to "eliminate" pests that try to seduce or approach their daughters, and by that extension bare their fangs and show their greed to take their power and influence for themselves.
Even if Acier was the one to initially approach Sebastian, her father, and grandfather would have had ample ways to rid this world of Sebastian with their influence, and not leave any traces behind.
Of course Acier was no idiot, and likely would suspect him, but there were other suitors from high nobility and even that bastard Lux who were all trying to court Acier, and naturally to win her over they would "narrow down" the competition.
Someone with no background like Sebastian, no influence, no subordinates, should have been easy pickings. He should have long been rotting beneath the Earth as a skeletal corpse.
Yet he ended up as the victor? Perfectly safe and healthy, today.
That's not possible… unless someone was secretly "looking out" for him from the shadows.
And that's a problem, Sebastian Silva is many things but not an idiot. He would eventually realize he had some secret "guardian angel" of sorts, or some undercurrents scheming, plotting, and arranging to bring him and Acier together.
And the fact that the current Sebastian has no recollection of the sorts… well that makes him very tempted to believe that it wasn't only his memories after Lucius took control of his body that were fuzzy.
Some things from before that, core memories, and facts, have been twisted and now the more he looks back on them, he begins to see some blinding incongruities.
In plain speak, it makes zero sense. How some things happened, how some things unfolded and led to other events in his memory, there are gaps that make them borderline illogical.
Rather than the missing memories from after Nozel was born, to Sebastian what seemed more problematic was the build up from how he and Acier met, became acquainted, turned to lovers, got engaged, married, and all leading up to the day Nozel was born.
Sebastian had concluded that certain happenings and momentous events (atleast to him) in his memory had been overwritten and lightly tweaked, causing an almost unnoticeable change in personality in him, and his feelings to certain people.
"Crunch"
Sebastian's dress shoes stomped on the lush green grass, making an imprint and crunch on a stray fallen leaf, as he passed through an archway eternity into the cemetery.
Few graves were present and constructed, because although it was known as the Silva Cemetery, the only people with the honour of being buried here were those of the main family.
And even then only those who were members of the main family till death did them part. When Aurelia died she would not be buried here, and that went the same for any main family members who married out of the house.
Through his memory Sebastian rounded a corner and walked to an open area where 3 tombs were neatly lined in a row.
Each constructed on an ornate, and luxurious silver pedestal, where a silver white large cross with golden trimming sat atop them.
In his hand Sebastian carried 3 white lilies, and began to scan the names as he walked past.
On the very left, and nearest to him, was Acier's grandmother's grave, and on the gravestone, it read:
Acyer Silva, 1528 - 1583.
Sebastian stopped at her grave first, and narrowed his eyes at it. He had no impression of this lady, except from some stories and tales, afterall she passed away before he was even born.
All he knew was that his wife, his Acier, was a spitting image of her, and thus was named after her.
He would never know the truth to that, Acier's grandfather was obsessed with his wife, especially after her passing. All portraits and mementos of her, were hoarded by him, and buried with him.
Sebastian nodded inwardly, I seem to remember that made the man project his ideals and vision and love of his wife on her lookalike, Acier. To the vast majority it was heartwarming, but only a select few and Acier herself understood how so very toxic and stifling that love was.
Sebastian put the lily at the gravestone, and walked to the next one, Acier's grandfather's:
Niklaus Silva, 1526 - 1603.
Just looking at that name, caused a bad memory to resurface in Sebastian's mind.
It was shortly after rumors of Acier's pregnancy spread like wildfire throughout the noble realm, courtesy of her mother.
Sebastian had been essentially all but arrested by House Silva, and "escorted", into the old master, Niklaus' room.
It was night out, a rainy day, to add to the solemn and depressing atmosphere, essentially Sebastian was just calling it to have the sickly, old, withered, and thin man tear into him for "defiling" his granddaughter, and precious Amethyst.
And he just stood there and took it. What could he do, say technically he was the one that was defiled. Would anyone even believe that?
Perhaps his silence pissed the older man off more, as he grabbed his cane from the side of the bed, and brought it down on Sebastian's head.
Sebastian didn't dodge, he wasn't even in the mood, too distracted by the sudden turn of events, and honestly half listening to Niklaus' rants and fury.
He was half minded, and probably this event wouldn't even have been memory worthy if it wasn't for the physical pain that came at the very end.
Well that's how I used to remember it. Sebastian narrowed his eyes, last night, in his very brief sleep, he had a "new" recollection of said event.
Where, a certain someone stepped up, caught the cane, protected him, told Niklaus off, and walked out of the room with Sebastian in tow.
Sebastian clutched the two remaining lilies in his hand, before begrudgingly putting one down at Niklaus' gravestone.
No point in holding some grudge with a deadman.
Then with a complicated look in his eyes, Sebastian shifted to the right, and stood in front of the last gravestone.
Acier's Father:
Nathaniel Silva, 1547 - 1608.
A gruff, seemingly emotionless, slightly broad, and tall, short silver-haired man, wearing a perpetual thin line visage, sporting tired lines on his face.
Sebastian's feelings towards Nathaniel were distant, a practical stranger, their relationship more like a reluctant master and disciple, after Acier's and his swift engagement, to quickly groom and train him into the next patriarch, as his age was catching up to him, and didn't have much time left.
Thankfully Nathaniel was able to hold on till Sebastian turned 21, so he could lawfully inherit and take over as Lord Silva, irrespective of the ambitions of the branch families.
That was pretty much as far as their relationship took them… but now the image of Nathaniel catching that cane was at the front of his mind.
Father, there are many things that I can accept and look past you doing, but striking my daughter's lover, and future grandchild's father, is not one of them.
Shortly after they left the room, he seemed to see the image of Nathaniel patting his head awkwardly and scratching his cheek with an uncharacteristic nervous display.
Sebastian, this might be shameless coming from me, as in some shape or form, I was arguably complicit in the injustice, madness, and greed that drove your parents to take their own lives… but please think of us as your new family… and me as your Father.
Then that image changed to about nine months later, when Sebastian returned home and met up with his "family", on that "fateful" day, where everything changed.
Acier went frozen stiff at her "beloved", unexpectedly tearing into her, with hurtful words, dismissing their child like some commodity, and filling her sister and mother with feelings of horror.
Then Nathaniel rose from his seat to stand up for his daughter, but Sebastian had struck first. He clamped the elderly man from the shoulder and forced him down on the seat, and pinched his nose in disgust as he looked down at his father-in-law.
Old thing, where do you get off acting like my father, just hurry up and die already so I can take this place for myself.
Sebastian's words had made Nathaniel turn immobile in shock, thinking back at that vision now, caused Sebastian's stomach to churn but more than anything it was the brief look of hurt and loss that flashed in Nathaniel eyes was what jaunted Sebastian awake so early in the morning.
Sebastian crouched down on his legs, bent forward, and carefully placed the last remaining lily on the tombstone.
Staying crouched he lightly brushed the name on the silver plaque and spoke in a soft whisper.
"Father, I really hope that dream was just a dream, and the cold and distant you in my memories was the real you."
"I don't know what I would do, how I would feel, or even want to think about how I would react, if I found out, you cared for me, loved me, and…"
I-I'd b-be so d-disappointed in myself… ashamed… that I ever doubted your love. That I ever doubted Father's words…
"...and never lost faith in me."
After a moment Sebastian stood up, and gave the tomb one last look before crossing his arms, behind his back, and walked away, leaving just another sentence.
"I'll come visit you again in the future… with Acier."
—
Hey, hey, why are we walking, huh? Why not just fly?
Sebastian didn't deign to give a response to the inner voice that sounded identical to him, yet different somehow, as he continued on his path.
Sebastian didn't head back to the main estate, rather he began walking through the vast acres of Silva land, to the edge of the estate.
Castle Kira, Castle Vermillion, and Castle Silva, amalgamate to form Clover Castle. The royal castle is where the main family of each royal family lives, along with some few other privileged or prominent folks, like head servants, possible in-laws, or branch family members that have made great contributions.
The "backyard" of each castle, which could be considered realms onto themself with how extraordinarily large they are, each follow a common housing pattern.
Branch families (vassals) higher up in the hierarchy and closer to the main family, live closer to the main estate.
In Nathaniel's time, Amara's family was said to be the closest family to the main branch, and lived a mere 2 or so acres from the main estate.
Sebastian's family which was so far removed, a branch of a branch family, to the point of not even having the honor to use the Silva name, nor wear the floral fitchy, lived at the very edge of the Silva land.
When Sebastian grew older he understood that was a great source of insecurity and pain for his parents, driving them to "push" him to be better, and make contributions so they can become official Silvas, and move closer to the main family.
Sebastian didn't particularly care as a child, he just thought it was benevolent enough for the Silva's to even let no names like them live on their land. But his parents always wanted more. They were never satisfied with what they had.
This was a point amongst many that resulted in them doing certain things to Sebastian, and spiraling in a series of haste decisions that ultimately ended in a dual suicide.
Well tuple, if you count that one. That voice spoke up again.
An image from his tween years popped up in Sebastian's mind, down a wooden floorboard hallway across from his room, a fairly decent nursery unfolded, with an expensive newly bought crib, toys, and clothes.
A crib that never got a chance to be slept in, toys that were never played with, and clothes that were never worn.
All because of those two fools.
Influenced by the inner voice, Sebastian grimaced in boiling frustration and complex lament, as another scene popped in his mind.
He was 13 then, he came home late from his private studying at the royal library, only to find the lights on and no one around.
He knew his parents were home, because his father's coat was laid out on the lobby hanger, and he never left home without it.
As for his mother, she never went anywhere without his father. Especially as she was pregnant back then.
He walked around the house calling his parents, but got no response in return, only to walk upstairs, and find his parent's door closed shut, but light trickling under beneath the gap from a flickering candle.
He knocked and banged on the door, but got no response, causing him to fill with worry. Shortly after he decided to force himself into the room, and worry about the impending consequences or "scolding" later.
That would never come, because one's parents have to be alive to "discipline" their child.
A father hanging lifelessly from the room ceiling with a rope by his throat, and a mother lying lifelessly on the bed under him, with drool, seeping from her mouth, and some strange remnants of some sort of drug in her hand, were incapable of such a thing.
Rather than outright sorrow or trauma, Sebastian had looked at his mother's rather large hump and lamented.
Couldn't you have chosen the same method as Father? At least that way this child could've been saved.
Sebastian had grown quite distant from his parents in the few years prior, a few tears of sorrow sprung from nostalgic feelings of a deceivingly happy and content childhood, was all they got, as he dug a hole and buried them beneath a nearby oak tree.
Many people misunderstood Sebastian, yes he hated Niklaus and at the time the entire main branch too for what happened, but after that accident he equally despised his parents.
It's just that he couldn't vent any of that rage on dead people, so Niklaus became the sole target for him to detest.
Sebastian wasn't seeking vengeance, nor "justice", for his parents, but his unborn sibling.
How dare they! What do they think life is?! That child's life was not yours to take! Because of them, she never even got a chance to live!
Sebastian went frozen stiff, stopping in his step as he rubbed his head in annoyance, suppressing this inner voice that has been growing louder since his dreams.
"Can you shut up?" Sebastian whispered to himself, after a moment the echo in his head ceased and he resumed his walk, ignoring the branch members that were looking at him, and waving off any who dared to try and approach him.
Sebastian didn't even know who or what he was talking to. Did that dream of his cause the consciousness and balance between his soul and the original Sebastian to tip more in the latter's favor?
Was this a sign of some preliminary awakening from the original?
Was those just his inner feelings and emotions, manifesting into some subconscious inner persona, of who he originally and truly was?
Was he hallucinating?
Sebastian felt like his mind was overcrowded all of a sudden, and shook himself back into focus as he sped up.
Anyways you couldn't particularly blame others for misunderstanding, Sebastian hadn't particularly confided that to anyone.
His parents weren't well known, no one showed up to their practical non-existent funeral concessions, which was just burning a bit of incense on their bodies, before he all but tossed them into those pits.
Yes her parents were nobodies, and his unborn sister, even more so. In nobility few have the privilege to foster genuine affection for their relatives, much less grow attached to a fetus that never entered the world.
Few would ever consider the possibility that Sebastian was out for blood, much less for the sake of a stillborn lump of flesh.
It wasn't like he was running around the kingdom as a boy, yelling "I'm going to kill you, Niklaus! Double time even, because I can't kill my dead parents. All for my unborn baby sister."
That'd be a good way to guarantee an early death, one doesn't simply state their intent for regicide to the masses.
Niklaus nor House Silva would've even needed to move a finger, many vassal houses and underlings looking to curry favor with them would've competed to bury Sebastian 6 feet under.
Sebastian's dislike for Niklaus was a safely guarded secret back then, after all how dare a nobody like him, dare harbor any insidious intentions or fury for a former patriarch.
Only Acier was likely aware of the true depths of his hatred, but it wouldn't matter, Niklaus died of natural causes, shortly before Nozel was born. Sebastian never got his "vengeance".
But even if he had the chance he likely wouldn't have taken it, Sebastian narrowed his eyes, piercing through those fuzzy fog of memories, at that time Niklaus was the furthest thing on my mind.
As Sebastian neared the edge of the estate, a wooden cabin, not quite small enough to qualify as a tiny home, in modern society came into view from afar.
It sat uphill, surrounded by a square logged fence, near a forest clearing, which led into a downstream river.
As Sebastian approached the cabin above he saw the ghostly reminiscent image of a fairly tall bricklayer house, that would make even some low nobility envious.
His childhood house.
As Sebastian matured he understood that his parents were particularly lavish people, buying things they didn't have the capital or funds to afford, like dresses, jewellery, and even that house, all to appear as elite to satisfy their insecurities.
Naturally this was all done through loans from various banks, ending up in generational debt, from interest and such.
After his parents offed themselves, those loan sharks came for him, so what could he do? Well sell his house, and practically all of their belongings to eliminate most of that debt.
The only thing he never gave up was a few of his personal belongings, like his journal, some clothes, tools, and the land itself.
The house was taken away courtesy of House Legolant's recombination magic, so he could keep the land.
And thus started his practical street rat days, where he lived a disgraced and "humiliating" life, of living in a makeshift tent, saving up to buy some wood, and building a rocky and flawed shack, and overtime amending it and extending it to form a relatively cozy cabin.
With Acier's help of course.
Back in the day, when this was built Sebastian would dare say it would appear luxurious on its exterior from modern day standards.
Giving a kind of lake front cottage feeling to it. Of course by Clover Kingdom nobility standards, who were into large Victorian structures and whatnot, they would never be caught near a destitute place like this.
And as of right now, it does look destitute. No one had entered, occupied, or cared for this place in nearly 17 years.
The wooden fence and the outside cabin walls were rotting, the glass windows seemed sort of fractured and greasy, moss and platlife grew everywhere, and the door seemed busted open.
Perhaps some critters frequented this place during the harsh winters, the Silva Estate barrier only reacted to and kept out magical beings, manaless lifeforms couldn't be repulsed, as they couldn't be registered.
At least with the House Silva barrier. The barrier guarding the entire noble realm was several tiers higher, and was capable of such a thing.
As Sebastian stepped on the creaky porch, he sighed regretfully. "Such a waste of a good place."
Sebastian didn't get to live in this place long, because shortly after it was built he was dragged into the main estate, due to Acier's pregnancy incident.
We were considering turning this place into a vacation home for our family, in the future.
Sebastian grimaced and clutched his head in pain again, hissing in frustration. "If you have something to say, say it all at once! Stop popping up at random moments, it's bothersome!"
A moment passed, and he got no response.
With a resigned and exasperated sigh, Sebastian went back to studying the cabin from outside, taking in the soggy indented wood, the cracked and flimsy planks under his feet, the brittle handrails, and the holes everywhere.
Perhaps after Lucius got to him, his body's tasks and only concerns had to do with the main estate, so this place ended up forgotten and ignored.
But… Sebastian narrowed his eyes, the fact that this was my property should've made it a priority among House Silva servants to clean and maintain, lookafter, guard, and manage. Even if not having received the express order to do so.
Yet it appears like a typical abandoned shack from some horror movie. The only possible reason would be if I or Acier ordered for it to be left untouched.
I'll ask Alfred afterwards
Without wasting another second Sebastian pinched his nose, to mask the spell, and stepped through the doorway, and boy he wished he hadn't.
"Ack hack hack!"
Sebastian waved his hand, and coughed heavily into his fist as he was greeted by a cloud of dust and grime.
And that wasn't all.
The odor of several rodents or such critters that had likely died here, breeded here, and stained the surroundings with their feces and urines assaulted him from each pore.
"Aughh-eww!!!"
Sebastian felt yesterday's breakfast wanting to spill out from his insides, as the nausea hit him.
He immediately coated himself in mana skin, to block out the bulk of the unpleasant feeling and had his grimoire floating out to produce some light, to examine the true extent of the "damage".
Looking around the room he cringed, as he saw a bunch of cobwebs, spiders, flies, mosquitoes, cockroaches, dead carcasses, and whatnot, littering the area.
One again Sebastian Silva, wished he was a fire mage.
He didn't hesitate to send out blasts of water that turned into bubbles and spheres of various sizes that covered and surrounded all these undesirables, shooting them out far away from the cabin and into the forest.
Water washed through the floorboards and walls carrying away fresh grime, dust, and stains that he didn't want to decipher origins of.
As for the dry ones that already melded and merged with the wood, Sebastian would just have to tolerate it for now.
Sebastian was very tempted to just get what he came for, and do the world a favor and blast this place to smithereens but perhaps nostalgia was acting up, and made him hesitant.
After all this was the place he and Acier built through hard work and grit, going through many ups and downs, and experimental processes, as neither really knew what they were doing.
Sebastian will definitely demolish this place one day, hopefully soon, but it was only fair for Acier to join him, and maybe if she's up to it build a new one.
A bigger one, that could actually fit their current family.
Sebastian shook his head, and walked through the one level cabin, continuously blasting away any creepy crawlies, carcasses, and other yucky things that got in his way.
He spared a glance at the bedroom from outside the doorway, not stepping in, as he took in the approximately double size bed, built into the corner wall.
He traced the bedsheets and rotting frame, and cringed in disgust from just imagining how many bed bugs made that mattress home right now.
That's where we made Nozel-
"I know!" Sebastian cutoff his inner voice and mysterious companion that may or may not be the original him, or some strange imaginary friend.
She came onto us-
"I said, I know!" Damnit if you're going to speak, share something important, enough with this useless crap!
Again the voice went silent.
Sebastian felt he was about to break down, and develop some identity disorder. If this voice was a separate entity, then could he at least tell him, something he didn't know.
At least then it would be tolerable and unacceptable. As it could help him get some answers, but so far it has done no such thing, rather it seemed adamant to remind him of things he's already privy to.
Like just now, which he really didn't need. Sebastian has relieved and reflected on his and Acier's first time, for countless hours. Every movement, exchange, and moment was both imprinted into his brain and traumatically ingrained in his muscle memory.
He needed nor wanted any more reminders.
Giving the "place of passion", one last fleeting glance, Sebastian hurried down the very short hall into the "study" area.
Which was just a decently wide desk, with the wall littered with book cases. Sebastian clicked his tongue looking at the torn, tattered, and worn, "troves of literature", that would drive any passionate librarian devastated.
He ignored that and repeated his "cleaning" process with the room, and walked behind the desk.
A thread of water shot out of his finger tip, and wrapped around the bottom drawer handle, and with a gentle pull, Sebastian yanked the drawer open.
He saw several pieces of paper, a ripped quill pen, an inkpad, what appeared to be a compass of sorts, and some wooden shavings inside.
Balls of water lifted those items up, before he placed them on the desk. Looking down at the empty drawer, Sebastian inwardly crossed his fingers, and gritted his teeth.
Please be here!
Water mana shot out, and wrapped around the bottom of the drawer, and it slowly began to rise up, unobstructed, that was because it was nothing more than a false bottom!
Sebastian stilled and after a moment he sighed in relief, as he saw what was inside, and still there his childhood journal, essentially his diary.
It was bright red, or atleast used to be, as now it was more of a brownish hue, but other than the worn cover, and bent cover, it seemed intact.
Sebastian's life was detailed in this journal from when he was about 5 up to the day Acier came and told him she was pregnant.
Which was the day before he was taken away. Sebastian wanted to review all his logs from the day he met Acier to that day, and compare it with his memory, searching for inconsistencies, and contradictions.
Lucius can mess with my mind, but that doesn't mean he can mess with concrete and physical evidence right, after all writing doesn't have a soul he can manipulate.
Sebastian smiled and snatched up the diary, and high tailed it out of the stinky cabin, he didn't walk back to the main estate, immediately, rather he took to the sky, on his water eagle materializing under his feet, as the sun rose over the Clover Kingdom.
As he rose to the stratosphere, the eagle spread its wings, and began to soar and glide slowly over the horizon, nearly still midair, as Sebastian sat down cross legged and opened the diary, like a fourth grader during book study.
He didn't even take a look at a page before something fell out. It was shaped like a rectangular slip.
A book mark? Sebastian raised a brow, as he picked it up and frowned as he picked up the slip and stilled at what he saw and felt.
Rather than bookmark, Sebastian would have called it a card, based on the familiar texture and feel, as well as length.
A male silhouette, trimmed and outlined in gold, on a black background surface that seemed oddly shaped like him, was smiling and holding out what appeared to be half a heart, from his right hand, in the center of the card.
At the top of the card was the capital letter I, and on the bottom was the letters E, R, and S. The card was evidently incomplete and missing its other half.
Sebastian gave it a twirl in his hand and frowned, what is this? Why would I own something so useless?
Sebastian thought about tossing it up, and letting the wind take it away, but strangely he felt a sort of indescribable connection and nostalgic affection for the card.
But still, was the original Sebastian an idiot, using something so short and flimsy as a bookmark?
It could easily fall out and lose one's page.
It's not a bookmark.
Sebastian froze as for the first time in the very short time he has had the displeasure of knowing this new inner voice of his, it finally told him something that he didn't know.
"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked unhurriedly, as he kept up a facade of composure.
I'm your inner voice, you can't hide your thoughts from me, you don't need to pretend.
Sebastian stiffened, and had his cheeks burn red, ever since transmigrating he's been used to adopting an utterly unphased appearance, indifferent to anyone and anything.
It became routine and second nature, force of habit, that he rarely registers anymore.
Sebastian coughed awkwardly, but then frowned, "I can't hide from you, but you can hide from me?"
The voice spoke up again, this time with a bit of frustration of its own.
I'm not hiding from you, you're suppressing me!
Sebastian frowned a bit more heavily this time, and spoke with scepticism laced in his voice.
"Alright buddy, if I was capable of doing something, I'd completely shut you away, for buzzing around in my head. But even then, why should I even trust a word or thought that comes out of your mouth, or mind I guess. For all I know you're some secret restriction Lucius left behind to mess with me."
Without wasting the moment, the inner voice replied.
That's good, pessimists live the longest, but if you want evidence I really can't give you anything to make you trust me.
For all you know I'm that Lucius guy disguising my voice as yours, you won't really get any clear answers till you and Acier dive into our memories.
That Lucius guy? Sebastian narrowed his eyes, and shook his head. "Sometimes it's you, other times it's our, sometimes you use I or me, other times it's we and us, make up your mind. Are you and I one and the same or two different people?"
The voice went eerily silent, but that didn't startle Sebastian as he waited calmly, and after a moment it spoke up again.
Pour a little mana into the bookmark and don't let go.
"Avoiding my question, huh?" Sebastian snorted derisively, before smiling as he clutched the card tightly.
"Fine, I'll bite."
Sebastian put the diary down on the eagle's back in front of him, and held the card up in between his fingers by the base as he began to channel mana into it.
Sebastian watched as the card began to light up aqua blue, and then it began to shake, it began to twist and struggle to escape from his grasp, but it was pointless, even if Sebastian let go, he already tied nearly invisible strands of water mana to the card, it wouldn't get far.
Sebastian furrowed his brow, as he felt some inexplicable calling from far away, right to the main estate.
"What do I do now?"
Just wait.
—
Acier's eyes snapped open as she abruptly sat upwards on her bed, swiftly escaping her groggy slumber as she felt an invisible calling, one she hadn't felt for years.
Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Acier leaned over to the side table, and pulled out the top drawer, she maneuvered through the neatly ordered drawer and pulled out a gray pouch.
She opened the pouch and with a smile, began to pull out some items.
First came an essentially plain brass ring, with the words BFF, ingrained on the top.
Acier smiled fondly at the ring as she seemed to hear a familiar voice, but years younger, speak into her ear.
This is proof of our friendship.
She gave the ring a kiss at the top, before setting it down on her lap, before pulling out another… ring.
This one seemed a bit more complex and expensive, consisting of a silver material, curved and shaped into a heart at the top, and filling the heart seemed to be a cut, amethyst jewel.
Smiling, Acier heard the voice, speaking into her mind once more.
This is the best I can do for you right now, this is a promise. A promise I won't back down, or shy away from these feelings of mine anymore, and a vow that I'm going to better myself, and become someone worthy of pursuing you as a suitor!
Acier also gave this ring a smooch, laying it in her lap before reaching into her little pouch and low and behold pulling out another ring.
This one was far more exquisite, intricately cut, and molded, laced with little sparkling gems around the ring, with a large ornate diamond on top.
It evidently cost a fortune, and would make many gush, and eyes sparkle, but Acier looked at it with a frown.
And that frown deepened as she looked down at her left hand, and twisted the plain gold ring she wore on her left finger.
These were her engagement and wedding rings.
Acier's mouth parted softly, "You didn't give me either of these two rings, society did, and perhaps because of that, I don't treasure either of them as much."
She chewed on her lips before smiling softly, "but I treasure the time that I got them with you. I was going through a very tough time, and you were the one that pulled me out of that darkness, and for that I still love them."
She brought her engagement ring to her lips and gave it a kiss before repeating it with her wedding ring.
Acier placed the engagement ring, in her lap, before pulling out the last item.
A plastic card, where a female silhouette appeared to be holding out half a heart in her left hand, at the center of the card.
At the top of the card, was the letter V, and at the bottom were the letters, L, O, and V.
Acier held the card, like it was the most precious thing to her, and gave it a kiss.
"And this is the sign of our love, a love, I'll never question again."
She channeled her mana lightly into the card and it began to surround itself in a pinkish hue, and Acier let go.
Instead of falling to the ground the card floated midair, and then it shot like a speeding bullet through the window, causing the curtains to riffle.
Acier smiled as it faded from view, as she could feel it darting towards its target.
After a moment she hopped off her bed, wearing her nightgown, in a chipper mood.
Typically she would be a bit disgruntled about being woken up so early, forget two days in a row, but she was in a very good mood today.
Acier slipped into her bed slippers, and walked across the room, rummaging through her walk-in closet, looking at different clothes before stopping in front of the mirror and checking herself out.
She put her hands on her hips and smiled.
"Maybe I should leave my hair down, loose, and untied. Sebby always loved that."
—
Seated on the water eagle high up in the sky, Sebastian's eyes shot up, as the familiar connection started growing rapidly closer and greater in a span of a few seconds.
He squinted his eyes and saw a projectile heading straight for him, normally he'd dodge, but he strangely felt at ease, as it neared him, and was unphased at it stopped right in front of him.
"The other half, huh?"
Taking a moment to study the card, Sebastian felt his wife's familiar and unmistakable mana coating it and smiled.
Sebastian instinctively let go of the card in his hand, as the two halves flew around each other, swirling like a vortex, before coming together.
A tiny beacon of white light momentarily blinded Sebastian, causing him to avert his gaze, after taking a second to collect himself, he looked back and paused.
Instead of two halves, there was now one single card.
On the left end was a woman's silhouette holding her left arm out, and on the right end was a male silhouette holding his right arm out.
The two arm's linked, and floating above it was a heart.
At the very top was the roman numeral VI, and at the bottom was the capitalised word, LOVERS.
Do you know what that is?
The inner voice asked Sebastian indifferently, as the latter nodded.
"A tarot card, number 6 of the major arcana, The Lovers."
The inner voice didn't deny or approve his answer, as it moved on to its next question.
Do you know where it comes from?
Sebastian's brows furrowed, before he shook his head.
The voice went silent, for a moment, before it spoke again.
Don't worry, all will be made clear very soon.
Sebastian showed no reaction to that, before pausing as in front of him, the card began to spin, counter clockwise.
Sebastian opened his mouth in questioning but the inner voice struck first.
It's giving you your divination, upright essentially means your love is looking up and you're in sync with your lover, while reversed or upside down is the opposite.
Sebastian's mouth closed as he saw the card continue to spin rapidly, before gradually slowing down, and then stopping. Perfectly upright, pointing to the sky.
A silent moment passed, as Sebastian's heart started to race. Over these past few days and very recent events, Sebastian hadn't doubted Acier's feelings for him, for a moment.
She couldn't have been more clear, but having some sort of external verification wasn't the worst feeling in the world.
But Sebastian had a suspicion that this wasn't about him, so he opened his mouth. "Are you satisfied now?"
Yes.
The inner voice replied, before continuing, its response growing a bit hoarse and emotional.
She still loves u-you.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes as he detected the mixed emotions in them, joy… and resignation. Perhaps a bit of bittersweet hurt.
Sebastian spoke aloud again, almost to himself. "She still loves me, but I may no longer be me."
The voice didn't respond.
Sebastian sighed, picked up the diary and opened it once again. Instead of reading from the start he flipped to the end and what he saw made his heart sink.
Signs of paper being ripped out was evident, that last entry intact from before that was the day he wanted to start with, but that was the only day he got.
August 3rd 1600:
Today Princess Acier approached me for some reason. I don't know what I did to attract her attention. Her motives aren't immediately discernible, has the main family sent her to snuff out my intentions? Have they discovered my hatred for that one?
Unlikely, Princess Acier is the pride and joy of House Silva, no one will risk her life, nor send her to deal with an invalid like me.
I need to consider how to act in the future, should she continue to approach me. I also need to take time to reevaluate what previous actions of mine could have led to this unexpected meeting.
Further inquiry and study will be required.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Sebastian's eyebrow twitched, this sounds more like a military report. All he needed to do was add in starfleet and captain's logue, and Star Trek might sue for copyright.
Sebastian sighed, as he would never know what came after that.
"Well this is Lucius right, he wouldn't have left, such a glaring and obvious counter to his plans available. Maybe he had my body rip out and discard those pages, unbeknownst to me."
Maybe we did it ourselves.
The inner voice caused Sebastian to pause and narrow his eyes, opening his mouth after a second, and conceding.
"Maybe." Sebastian didn't deny the guess, but as for why he would do such a thing, he would never know until he confronted those memories.
Sebastian was just about to put down the diary in defeat and fly back to the castle, but the voice spoke up first.
Flip to October 1st, 1598, and read the next four entries.
Sebastian didn't even bother questioning it, and did as he was told, as he flipped, backwards, scanning the dates with his eyes, before stopping.
October 1st 1598:
It appears Father and Mother had finally had it with my incompetence and uselessness, today they declared my mother was pregnant.
They didn't outright disown me but the words: "you don't have to push yourself anymore Seb, we know all people aren't born equal, this child will take the load from your shoulders, and attain glory for our family in the future."
Can be interpreted as such after driving me till I hurled from my stomach and bled from my hands, despite evidently not being an attack mage.
On the plus side this supposed abuse should practically be over, on the downside I fear for that child if it can't meet expectations.
Decisions and further pondering must be made.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Sebastian flipped the page to the next entry.
January 15th 1599:
Well this is not good, though not 100% supported. I have heard word of pregnant women craving sweets being a sign of a girl's birth.
And that's all Mother cares to eat these days. Through some roundabout probing I verified that during her pregnancy for me, all she devoured was spicy foods.
It is rare for a girl to become an heir despite ability and strength, and I won't delude myself with pinning my parents to be progressive or accepting people.
Who knows what extremes they will go to, should they discover they are bringing a girl into this world, instead of a boy, especially with their current unsteady mental state.
I must make a decision soon.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Once again, Sebastian flipped to the next entry. He raised a brow as he read it, as he could sense emotion in this entry, and a foreboding feeling that caused his stomach churned.
March 6th, 1599
Today I arrived at the royal library with a decision made. After that girl's birth, should my parents love and care for her, like they once did me, all will be good.
Should not I will take her, and raise her as my own, elsewhere away from all things Silva.
Today I even perused texts looking at good names, and I believe I found a spectacular one.
Aurora, it symbolizes the dawn of a new day. A new chapter in one's lives, in our lives, in the future it will be me Sebastian, and little Aurora against the world.
I must quickly secure a job, and start amassing funds. I also need to learn and research how to raise a child.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day!
Sebastian's stomach churned, as he forced himself to read the next entry.
March 7th, 1599
Unforgivable! All of them are absolutely unforgivable! My parents, the Silva's, that damn Niklaus, what do you take life for?!
Whatever problems, whatever issues, whatever stress or upsets you're going through, leave it between you two!
What did that child have to do with any of this?! When you're pregnant your life is no longer just your own, but also that child's, you should be doing everything in your power to pull through and protect that child's life, not proactively ending your own!
Is having a daughter truly such a sin?! Such a disappointment?! Women can be strong, women can be leaders, a girl can lead and empower a lowly branch family like ours!
I will settle my scores with the old lord in the future, but first I need to know just how on earth they discerned that child's gender!
Sebastian - Signing off for the day!
Sebastian closed the book and sighed, those memories of that damnable day rose up from within, and he had to suppress his urges to tear something apart.
Pulling and ruffling his hair to vent some tension he bit his lip and opened his mouth.
"What is it that you want to tell me?"
The inner voice responded, almost gently.
That name, does it mean anything to you? Remind you of anything?
Sebastian, raised a brow. "Aurora?"
Yes, Aurora.
Sebastian frowned and shook his head, "No can't say anything comes to mind-"
Sebastian cut himself off, and darted his eyes back to the name on the paper. He was imprinting it in his mind, and trying to compare it to another among many obvious coincidences that he's overlooked.
He read and reread it to make sure, before raising his head to the sky, his eyes began to water and he spat out almost hoarsely.
"Aurora is my sister's name, from Earth."
Sebastian could almost feel the inner and physically non existent voice, nodding its proverbial head in his mind.
Yes, it is.
"You wish to speak to Azazel?" Draven scratched his goatee, glancing across the water-barriered bedroom at Sebastian. The scene was slightly awkward.
Sebastian wasn't even looking at him. Instead, he stood at Acier's bedside, gently running his fingers through her hair. A soft smile touched his lips as Acier blushed slightly but made no effort to pull away.
Dorothy, Nozel, Lilith, Nathan, and Jonna observed the scene with a mix of expressions.
Dorothy found it cute.
Nozel was fighting a losing battle with his twitching eyebrow.
Lilith looked indifferent, even a little bored.
Nathan and Jonna mumbled something inaudible, their bodies stiff with discomfort.
Noelle wasn't in the room—she was off with her grandmother. Amara, of course, hadn't been invited to these daily appointments. It was enough for her to know that Acier was recovering. She didn't need to know how, lest her old age loosen her tongue. One slip could plunge House Silva into public outrage for "associating" with blasphemous devil worshippers.
Even if Augustus, against all odds, stood up for them—a slim chance, given his indoctrination to oppose anything related to devils—it wouldn't matter. One king alone couldn't placate an entire nation. House Silva wouldn't survive long under the kingdom's current attitude toward devils.
Perhaps things would change if Nacht ever began openly using his devil powers in service of the kingdom as a Magic Knight. But that was a matter for the future.
For now, it was the same reason Solid and Nebra weren't here. Solid, only four years old, would probably have the wits scared out of him at the sight of a devil. As for Noelle, when she was present, her baby brain probably thought Azazel and Cimeies were adorable little toys.
Still running his fingers through Acier's hair, Sebastian finally glanced back at Draven and nodded.
"Yes. Alone as well. Will that be a problem?"
Draven narrowed his eyes and tilted his head slightly to the right, his gaze fixed on his shoulder. Everyone watched as small black particles floated there, coalescing into a pitch-black impish figure.
Once again, the bite-sized Azazel materialized into existence: goat-like horns curling from his head, pupil-less white eyes gleaming, short angelic wings stained black, and a stubby goat tail completing his eerie form.
Azazel looked up at Draven, and the two shared a silent exchange. After a moment, Draven gave a subtle nod—approval or permission.
Azazel floated off Draven's shoulder, flapping toward Sebastian before unceremoniously plopping himself on the man's head like a nesting bird.
Sebastian blanked for a moment, blinking in disbelief. He opened his mouth to protest but closed it again, teeth gritted as he forced a smile.
Forget it. I'm asking him for a favor—I can tolerate it. Besides... he's strangely soft and smooth. I'll just treat him like a pet cat.
Acier looked up at him with wry amusement, but Sebastian ignored her. Instead, he turned his gaze across the bed to Dorothy, nodding.
"All right, Dorothy. You can take the others away for your mother's appointment."
The petite, purple-haired girl grinned as her grimoire flew out, pages flipping rapidly. With a snap of her fingers, a swirling vortex of purple and pink hues enveloped the room.
In an instant, she and everyone else vanished, leaving only Sebastian and Azazel behind.
Sebastian inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself and steady his racing heart, before sitting on the edge of the bed, his gaze fixed on the doorway.
Azazel, seemingly satisfied, fluttered down from Sebastian's head and hovered in front of him, their eyes level. The devil was the first to speak.
"You've finally approached me," Azazel began, its voice an unsettling blend of heaviness and squeakiness, distinctly otherworldly. "Took you a bit longer than I'd expect for someone of your intelligence, even after Young Master Nacht dropped you that hint."
Sebastian remained unfazed, though his jaw tightened slightly as Azazel continued. "Well, I suppose I can't blame you. Certain individuals are working hard to make sure you don't notice certain things."
Azazel scrutinized him, his white, pupil-less eyes unblinking. "Your daughter will cancel her spell in approximately 42 minutes, but I won't give you more than 20 before I cease my summon. We're about to discuss many taboo things, the kind that attract certain...gazes. I have no intention of being possessed by Lucifero or suffering the consequences of my foolishness a third time. I don't think I'd survive."
The devil's voice lowered ominously. "So, if you have questions, I suggest you start voicing them."
Sebastian cracked his knuckles, clasping his hands as he nodded, ready to speak. But Azazel interrupted him again.
"In the absence of time, prioritize the questions that concern you most. The deeper truths of this world can wait—assuming I'm not smited on the spot for entertaining this conversation."
Azazel let out an eerie laugh, the sound sending a chill down Sebastian's spine. He noticed a slight tremble in the devil's figure, along with a bead of sweat rolling down its round, blackened head.
"As for me," Azazel continued, "all you need to know right now is that I've fallen twice. The first time, from the heavens, as an angel who lost grace and became the seventh-ranking supreme devil ruling over the third level of the underworld—for my gall. The second time, I was crippled into the mid-ranking trash you see before you—for gazing at something I shouldn't have."
The devil's voice softened, a bitter edge creeping in. "The Azazel you've read about in Judeo-Christian demonology? That's me, more or less."
Sebastian bit his lip, his mind racing as he recalled fragments of a dream—Lucius' haunting words echoing in his memory:
Watch the frailty of the human heart. The pitiful and vulnerable souls That One cursed us with.
His teeth clenched, his voice hoarse and tinged with desperation as he spoke. "Can I at least know who That One is?"
"God," Azazel replied without hesitation. His tone was flat, but he quickly elaborated. "And I don't mean those minor deities or beings with slight divinity who dare call themselves gods. Not that statue in the seabed temple mistaken for Leviathan, nor Dryad, nor the God of Fate, nor any other. I'm speaking of the one above all. The omniscient. The omnipotent. He who sees everything and, supposedly, created everything."
"Supposedly?" Sebastian narrowed his eyes but quickly shook his head. He could feel it—Azazel wouldn't say more.
Sebastian got straight to the point. "Diving into my memories, diving into Acier's memories—is it safe?"
A moment passed, and Sebastian's eyes widened in shock. Azazel seemed to glitch in and out of existence, flickering like a bug in some video game, as though he were being censored or deleted from reality. Then, just as suddenly, he stabilized, returning to his usual form.
Talking about God isn't taboo, but this is an issue?!
The fallen angel trembled violently, heavy sweat streaming down his round forehead. His wide, ghastly mouth opened as he nearly spat his words at Sebastian.
"Damn it! Do we have some sort of problem?! Do you want to kill me?!"
Sebastian stared, speechless, as the devil wiped his forehead with his small, chibi-like hands, still trembling.
"T-thankfully… t-thankfully…" Azazel stammered, his voice shaky. "It seems He's giving me permission to answer you… but He wouldn't let me off without a warning."
Who is He?! Sebastian's thoughts were written plainly across his face, though some deep instinct told him Azazel wasn't talking about Lucius—or even That One.
Azazel, a being with the power to glimpse heavenly secrets, didn't need words to read the question burning in Sebastian's mind. Gathering himself, he pointed a tiny, trembling finger at the man, his tone sharp.
"No more questions. I know what you want to ask, so shut up and listen. I'll answer what I can. If I don't explain something, it's because I either don't know or don't dare to say. So unless you want to wish death on me, don't voice those questions."
The devil paused, then added with a biting edge, "Curing your wife is nearly impossible without me. And Master Draven seems quite fond of me. I doubt he'd help you if you were the cause of my death."
For good measure, Azazel twisted the knife. "Just know he's not entirely pleased with your company after what you did to Young Master Nacht."
Sebastian clicked his tongue, leaning back slightly on the bed and resting his hands on his lap. I guess it's Q&A time—with only the A part, he thought with a dry chuckle.
Azazel raised one of his tiny fingers, his tone finally calm. "To answer your question—no, it won't be dangerous. In fact, it will be beneficial to your wife and to you in particular."
He continued, "You'll get some answers to questions you've been avoiding. Like why you never felt much when taking a life."
Sebastian tensed for a moment but said nothing. Azazel pressed on. "To maximize the boons from the dive, combine dream magic with memory magic."
Sebastian nodded. He'd already been planning something along those lines.
Azazel scratched his cheek before continuing, his voice steady yet grave. "Let's get to the heaviest topic—the one you've been circling for a while. You've been noticing it, piecing it together since that dream of yours… and more recently, from your realization this morning."
Sebastian's fingers clawed into the mattress beneath him, bracing himself as Azazel pressed on.
"Maybe my transmigration isn't a transmigration? Maybe it was a rebirth, and certain events caused that rebirth to turn into a reincarnation?"
The devil's pupil-less gaze bore into him. "That's what you're asking yourself right now, isn't it?"
Sebastian swallowed hard and nodded.
Azazel's expression softened into something somber—almost pitying, his thin lips forming a grim line. "Or rather, that's what you're telling yourself. You're convincing yourself it's the truth. Because the real truth—the possibility that this was never a second life to begin with, that this is and has always been your one and only life—is too hard to bear."
"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
Sebastian's roar shattered the tension, his voice hoarse and raw as his bloodshot eyes bore into Azazel. Cold sweat trickled down his temple as his chest heaved with ragged breaths.
He waved the devil off furiously, his words tumbling out in heated disbelief. "My life, my Earth, my Aurora—none of that was a lie! I remember everything clearly! Her likes, her dislikes, my ups and downs with my friends, my struggles, the taste of food, the smell of home! The laws of science and physics that even translate into this world! How can something like that possibly be fake?!"
Azazel hovered silently, letting the outburst settle. After a pause, he spoke softly.
"Why can't the fake feel real? Why can't the fake become real, even for a moment?"
Sebastian opened his mouth to retort, but Azazel cut him off, his tone sharper now.
"Your daughter—a mere 15-year-old girl who just received her grimoire—commands an infinite world of illusions. Illusions that manifest as reality. She has a seemingly godlike power that allowed her to weave a nightmare for Young Master Nacht, where every sense, every emotion, told him it was real. If he hadn't woken up, he'd never have believed it was just a dream."
Sebastian froze, his mouth halfway open, as the devil's point struck home.
"If a 15-year-old girl can do that," Azazel pressed on, "why couldn't something—or someone—far greater do the same to you?"
Sebastian tried to speak, but Azazel waved him off again. "I said no questions. I know what you want to ask, and I'll answer what I can. But first, let me finish."
Azazel's gaze hardened. "Does this world—the world of Black Clover—feel fake to you?"
Sebastian blinked, caught off guard.
"This world," Azazel continued, "that has grown far beyond the manga you knew. Does any of it feel like a lie? Acier, your children, the Agrippas, the Vermillions, the Fausts, Conrad, the kingdom—does any of it seem unreal to you?"
Sebastian shook his head, his voice firm. "But that doesn't mean Earth was a lie, either. They can both be real!"
Azazel nodded slowly. "Yes, they can. There are countless worlds and multiple versions of Earth across the multiverse."
Sebastian bit his lip, feeling the weight of an unspoken but.
"But?"
Azazel faltered, his gaze flickering. Then he pushed forward, his voice quieter but no less heavy. "But the Earth in your memory… was only ever a dream. A harrowing, yet fulfilling dream He wrote for you—or rather, for a small but pivotal piece of your soul—so you wouldn't fall into despair."
Sebastian's pupils dilated in horror as Azazel, sensing the overwhelming despair, offered him a semblance of consolation.
"For what it's worth," the devil began, its voice unusually soft, "your Aurora in that dream could be considered real."
Sebastian's throat tightened. He wanted to ask why. He needed to know how. Thankfully, Azazel anticipated the question.
"Before meeting Acier, your main drive in life was to avenge your sister—the sister you never got to meet. She was your anchor, your purpose to keep moving forward and not give up entirely."
Sebastian's eyes widened as Azazel pressed on, his tone almost gentle. "That child, your sister, died prematurely as a fetus. But at six months, she had developed a primary consciousness... and a soul."
Sebastian's breath hitched as Azazel explained, "He collected Aurora's soul fragments before Azrael could guide her to the afterlife and gave her a chance to live—as your sister, in that dream of yours. A chance to exist… until you woke up."
Sebastian's voice cracked, raw with emotion. "So you're saying I killed her?" Tears streamed freely down his face. "I threw her in a boarding school like a selfish bastard and then woke up, killing her, killing everyone else in that dream!"
Azazel didn't reply immediately. It wasn't a question—it was a lament.
"I couldn't protect her in this life," Sebastian continued, his hands clutching his hair in anguish, "and I was the reason for her undoing in that one! How on Earth would telling me that make me happy?!"
The devil's gaze lingered on Sebastian, unreadable, before answering in a matter-of-fact tone. "Because, at long last, she got a chance to live. A mere 14 years—but a chance nonetheless."
Sebastian grabbed his head as a throbbing headache took hold. "You're lying! You're lying! I'm nobody! I'm not some pivotal existence or protagonist people would target! Whoever He is, He wouldn't take an interest in someone like me!"
His denial turned frantic as he jerked his gaze to the floor. "That world, that life—it's not fake! My soul just… traversed worlds. Aurora is still alive, living her life!"
Azazel's eyes glowed faintly with a deep purple hue as the devil snapped, its voice rising. "Once is chance, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern!"
Sebastian clamped his hands over his ears, but Azazel's words surged directly into his mind, undeniable and unrelenting.
"What is your name?!"
"Sebastian!"
"I mean your name—the previous you!"
Sebastian's eyes remained glued to the floor as he opened his mouth… only to close it abruptly, realization washing over him.
"You were about to say Sebastian, weren't you?" Azazel's tone turned mocking, edged with a chilling certainty. "Moreover, your sister in this life is also named Aurora. You share the same age gap, and your birthday in this life is August 15th—just as before. Face it: there is only Sebastian Silva!"
Sebastian's eyes filled with fresh tears as he vehemently shook his head, his voice trembling. "Get out of my head! That life was real, and I don't know how, but I reincarnated into this world—"
"People have to die before reincarnating!"
Azazel's sharp rebuttal froze Sebastian in place, his body stiff as a board.
The devil's voice lowered, ominous. "Do you recall dying?"
Chills ran up Sebastian's spine. He shook his head helplessly, his voice barely a whisper.
"No."
Azazel nodded, its voice gaining volume and gravity. "Your last memory in that world was falling asleep at your desk, studying—doing paperwork. And your first memory upon awakening in this world?"
Sebastian stilled, his voice breaking under the weight of realization.
"I… awoke at a desk. Doing paperwork."
"Precisely."
Azazel's tone softened, tinged with something approaching empathy. "That should have been your first clue—an inexplicable connection, a symbol. And if you disregard that, there are countless others."
"Once is chance, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern," Azazel repeated, his voice deliberate as he continued.
"Sebastian, what were you studying to be in your past life?"
Sebastian's gaze remained glued to the floor, his hands clutching his head. His voice came out hoarse and broken. "A doctor…"
"And what kind of mage was Sebastian Silva?"
Sebastian bit his lip, nausea churning in his stomach. "A healer… essentially a doctor…"
He clenched his fists, his voice rising as he fought back. "But I'm an attack mage! My grimoire is filled with different spells! I'm a different person at heart!"
Azazel's tone betrayed no surprise, as though he had anticipated the rebuttal. "First of all, one's nature can change. Your life in that dream was a constant uphill battle to create a good life for you and your sister. Even if you were studying to become a doctor, you were a fighter at heart."
The devil's eyes narrowed. "And even if that's not true, why did you feel no hesitation whatsoever in 'usurping' Sebastian Silva's identity? Your initial claim was that you were 30% Sebastian Silva and 70% yourself. Shouldn't this 'new you' have felt at least some apprehension in treating strangers as your children—and another man's woman as your wife?"
Sebastian bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, grasping at a retort. "But… what about the fusion? When I awoke in this world, my grimoire flipped, and the essence of Sebastian Silva ingrained itself into me! What about that?"
Azazel's voice was unwavering. "The bulk of your soul was left behind in your mindscape after Lucius chained your will— but the new you, the tiny fragment He cast into that dream—matured, grew, and became the new main essence of the current you. 73% you. Then, when the former soul, corrupted and nearly altered by Lucius' actions, returned, it filled the remaining void."
The devil leaned closer, his voice sharp. "Do you remember when you gained new spells in your grimoire? It was only after you acknowledged that you and Sebastian Silva were essentially one and the same. There was no new grimoire because you never transmigrated into a water mage's body. You shared that elemental affinity because you were always a water mage—this was always your body!"
Sebastian trembled, his tears staining the floor beneath him. In either life, he couldn't recall crying so pathetically. His voice cracked as he finally muttered, "What other coincidences are there?"
Azazel's expression was unreadable as he began to list them off, each fact landing like a hammer blow.
"Orphaned in both lives as your parents died early."
"You intended to raise your sister on your own in this life, just as you did in that dream."
"You essentially raised yourself in both lives. In this one, your parents' lavish spending left you without servants, forcing you to learn basic survival skills like cooking. In that dream, your parents traveled abroad constantly, leaving you alone."
"You pickpocketed in desperation for cash in that dream, and lived as a street rat in this life."
"You had drifted apart from your friends in that dream, and Acier your only friend in this one."
"Despite having biological family members within reach, you were alone in both worlds."
"Love eluded you in both lives. If not for Him, you and Acier would never have rekindled your spark."
"You weren't obese or particularly out of shape, but you never had an athletic physique in either life."
"You avoided trouble when you could, even admitting to cowardice, yet when the stakes were highest, you always took the hardest path to achieve results."
"You limited your inner circle in both lives, afraid of making bonds that might lead to betrayal or pain."
"You derided others for selflessness while quietly doing the same."
"Though not a professional, you were never helpless in crafts, DIY, or handwork in either life."
"You never met your grandparents in either life—they all passed away before your time."
"You had no biological aunts, uncles, or cousins in either world."
"The names of the most precious people in both lives start with 'A.'"
"Your meals were solitary, often eaten in silence, with no company at your table."
"You were never particularly religious in either life."
Azazel's voice grew quieter, almost mocking. "Should I keep going? I have a few more good ones."
Sebastian remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor. The tears had stopped, his ducts dried out. His face was empty—dull, defeated, and lifeless.
Azazel's voice broke the silence again, this time not as a whisper in Sebastian's mind, but a physical sound echoing through his ears.
"Yet the one who controls Julius did."
"Huh?" Sebastian's head shot up, dazed and confused.
The devil's impish figure floated lazily in the air, its legs crossed, as it continued in a bored tone. "A response to your earlier rant about being some kind of nobody who wouldn't be targeted by higher existences. But you already know you were—by the one who shares a body with Julius."
Sebastian stiffened, his body rigid as stone. He stared at Azazel, dread pooling in his stomach. The chibi devil swayed slightly in the air, as if delivering this revelation was just another task to pass the time.
"You still haven't asked yourself, why me? Why did that guy target you, turn you into a monster, and then—why would He try to help you, to save you?"
Sebastian's nails dug into his cheeks, drawing thin lines of blood as he fought back a wave of deranged madness threatening to engulf him. Thankfully, the voice in his mind—the one that had drawn his attention to Aurora's name earlier—had gone silent. Without it, he might have spiraled into complete insanity.
Taking a moment, Sebastian summoned his mana, letting the cool water circulate through his veins to ease his nerves. Slowly, his breath steadied, and he asked, "Are you going to tell me?"
Azazel nodded, still in that same detached tone. "For simplicity's sake, let's assume you really did transmigrate into the world of Black Clover. That would make this a shounen world, correct?"
Sebastian hesitated but nodded. "Yes."
The devil floated closer, forcing Sebastian to lower his gaze slightly. "And among shounen works, Black Clover is a very… shounen, shounen—an amalgamation of many typical tropes and ideas, right?"
Sebastian nodded again, unsure where this was headed.
Azazel smirked and pointed a tiny claw toward him. "Now, would you consider your youngest child the female lead of this world? The go-to love interest destined to end up with the main character?"
Sebastian's brow twitched. No boys for Noelle. Ever. Suppressing his immediate objection, he exhaled slowly and relented. "From the perspective of the original work? Yes. Noelle would undoubtedly be the female lead."
Azazel's smirk widened. "And that right there is the biggest issue."
Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "How?"
Azazel read the unspoken question in his expression and pressed on. "Typical shounen tropes dictate that the female lead, especially if she's a princess or nobility, has a father who falls into one of three categories: a legendary powerhouse, a meek and inconsequential figure, or dead."
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "And what's wrong with that?"
The devil's irritation flared. "If you'd shut up and listen, I'll tell you."
Sebastian huffed but said nothing further.
Azazel continued, now with an edge of annoyance. "The problem is, you're none of those things—or rather, you couldn't be verified as any of them. Why? Because you were completely absent and unmentioned in the original work."
Sebastian froze. A sickening churn began to twist in his stomach as the pieces of Azazel's implication began falling into place.
Noelle Silva's father had long been hypothesized to be some archetypal cold-hearted, abusive noble. Yet, in the original story, he was barely a presence—little more than a silhouette and a single line that might have been spoken by Nozel instead.
If Azazel's claims were true—if Sebastian's previous life was nothing more than a dream and he had always been Sebastian—then whoever orchestrated that dream had been meticulous in its construction.
Perhaps He intentionally gave Sebastian a watered-down version of Black Clover to read, designed to nudge him toward specific thoughts and actions that aligned with His agenda. Furthermore, by omitting any mention of Sebastian in the original work, He may have been avoiding the risk of Sebastian resonating with that character, which could have triggered unforeseen consequences.
But then came the bigger question: why would Lucius—or He—target Sebastian in the first place?
Sebastian wasn't physically powerful in the grand scheme of things. However, his political influence, resources, and connections gave him the potential to sway the story's direction. In just 12 days, Sebastian had already changed so much. A "nobody" wouldn't have survived encounters with beings like Draven and Lilith—they would have killed him outright once they realized he knew the secrets of their Houses.
A "nobody" wouldn't have saved Conrad's wife and squad, forged a connection with Damnatio, won over Augustus, or initiated societal reforms that could reshape the kingdom.
Lucius likely wanted to stifle human progress, ensuring they didn't grow too strong and complicate his plans for the future. Manipulating Sebastian, the Lord of House Silva—long known for its cold indifference and disdain for commoners—was the ideal move.
He didn't need Augustus; House Kira was already adept at suppressing people. House Vermillion wasn't an option either, as their compassion and humanity would make any uncharacteristic behavior suspicious. But Sebastian? If he acted cold or cruel, it would align perfectly with the world's expectations of him.
Conversely, if He—this unseen benefactor—was in some kind of invisible war with Lucius, then freeing Sebastian from Lucius's control would serve a different purpose. By guiding Sebastian to lead and revolutionize humanity, He could strengthen the kingdom's ability to oppose Lucius.
Sebastian wasn't just a pawn on a chessboard. He was a contested piece, one that neither side wanted to remove but instead sought to sway.
The realization gnawed at him. Fate's strings tugging at his every move was one thing—everyone dealt with that to some degree—but to be meticulously manipulated into believing and doing certain things? That was far harder to accept.
Sebastian didn't trust his invisible benefactor. There was no chance this being was acting out of pure altruism. There had to be something in it for Him. Oddly, that thought didn't bother Sebastian much—he would have been more unnerved if this being had pretended to be a selfless savior.
What he couldn't accept, however, was the possibility that his future actions, believed to be of his own free will, might ultimately bring harm to the things he cherished most.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. Good thing I haven't been overly insistent on following the "canon" I read in that dream.
The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. He felt nauseated even thinking of it as such.
Sebastian forced a shaky smile, his lips trembling as he looked at Azazel. The devil cocked his head, studying him with an impish curiosity.
"So, do you admit it now?" Azazel asked. "That you are Sebastian Silva, and there is—has only ever been—Sebastian Silva?"
Sebastian clenched his fists, the sound of cracking knuckles echoing faintly as he rolled his shoulders. "Do I have any other choice?" His voice came out hoarse, barely above a whisper. "With all that evidence, I'd be delusional not to."
The devil smiled faintly, scratching at his tiny, red cheeks. "And how does that make you feel?"
Sebastian leaned back onto the bed with a rough exhale, his head tilting up to stare at the ceiling. Small bursts of water mana cleansed his tear-streaked face, though they did little to cool the storm in his chest.
"Devastated... but also so very happy," he admitted, his tone heavy with self-loathing. "And that makes me disgusted with myself."
"Oh?" Azazel arched an imaginary brow and floated closer, his curiosity piqued. "Care to explain?"
Sebastian spread his arms wide, as if gesturing to everything around him. "All of this—House Silva, this beautiful family, Acier, and the kids—they're actually mine." His voice cracked, brimming with conflicted emotion. "That makes me so happy because…"
Now I don't have to feel guilty about returning her feelings.
As if on cue, the inner voice in Sebastian's mind spoke up, its tone hoarse and bittersweet:
You better never hurt her.
Sebastian's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond aloud. If that voice truly was his inner self, it should already know he'd never even dream of such a thing.
Scratching his cheek, Sebastian shifted the conversation. "I've got a question."
Azazel sighed in irritation. "Didn't I say no more questions?"
Sebastian shrugged. "I'm only asking one. Whether you answer or not is up to you. Besides, I've already asked plenty despite your protests."
The devil's glare didn't stop Sebastian from continuing. "Why did you humor me? Why did you help me? And why didn't you tell Draven about me?"
Azazel paused, his expression tightening. His voice, when he finally spoke, was tinged with unease. "What He says is law. Even in my prime, I would never dare defy Him—except, perhaps, that one time Samyaza dragged us into his audacious sins."
He folded his arms, his tone growing distant. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it to keep Master Draven safe and, perhaps, to earn my way back into His good graces someday."
Sebastian narrowed his eyes, his mind racing. "If He's so powerful and at odds with Lucius, why doesn't He just wipe him out? Why rely on lowly humans like me?"
Azazel pursed his lips, hesitant. He seemed to be searching for some internal sign—a warning that he was stepping too far. When none came, he spoke carefully.
"He's... a bit of a zealot. That One has forbidden His angels from interfering directly with humanity unless humanity approaches them first or unless ordered otherwise. Until then, He won't make any moves that could be interpreted as harming a human."
Angels? Sebastian's eyes narrowed further. Had Azazel slipped up? He forced his emotions into check, masking his intrigue as he asked a seemingly unrelated question.
"Just like how there are ranks among devils, are there ranks among angels... like archangels?"
Azazel nodded absentmindedly. "Of course. There are eight of them. Well, six now, since Lucifer and Satanael fell from grace."
Lucifer, not Lucifero? Sebastian's suspicions deepened. He pressed on, carefully choosing his next words. "By any chance, does His name start with an M—"
Before he could finish, Azazel's expression shifted, panic flashing across his face. In an instant, the devil unsummoned himself, vanishing without a trace.
Sebastian clicked his tongue as he sat up on the bed, muttering under his breath.
"Coward."
The word escaped with a snort, carrying no real heat, just an edge of exasperation. Narrowing his eyes in thought, he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.
The world of Black Clover carries so many religious themes, Sebastian mused. Churches, crosses, priests, even the Kabbalah's Tree of Life.
Azazel's words lingered in his mind, and Sebastian couldn't help but suspect that the so-called "big boss" was connected to the angelic hierarchy. Two names surfaced as the most likely candidates:
Michael—the chief angel in Christianity—or Metatron, the greatest angel in many Jewish traditions.
The thought made him restless. Rising to his feet, he began pacing around the room, his water barrier shimmering faintly as it encased the space in an aura of protection. His shoulders sagged under the weight of exhaustion, but his mind raced with trepidation.
"Gods, minor deities, devils, angels, and humans… Is this still Black Clover?" he muttered, rubbing his temples. "Don't tell me we're heading toward some kind of divine war…"
He stopped mid-step, shaking his head as if to banish the overwhelming thoughts. "Whatever. That's a problem for future me... and a problem for the future Clover Kingdom."
Exhaling slowly, Sebastian turned his focus back to the present. "Right now, I need to do something about these memories. For that, I'll need to get in touch with Francois."
Returning to the bed, he reclined on his side, stretching his legs out while keeping the shimmering barrier firmly in place. His thoughts began to drift between planning for the days ahead and waiting for Dorothy to lead the others back from the Glamour World.
Despite the chaos of the day, Sebastian noticed a peculiar lightness in his chest. His world may have felt like it was crumbling, but for the first time since "waking up," he didn't feel out of place.
He smiled faintly to himself.
Not a bad feeling.
Author's Notes:
[1] Azrael is the arch angel of death in some abrahamic religions, predominantly Islam
[2] Samyaza is the leader of a group of angels called the Grigori or watchers, that fell from grace after defying several mandates of heaven. Azazel was a leading member
[3] Feel free to join the discord: https://discord.gg/s3MME8X8ar
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