Bab 62: Chapter 62
The white car was parked by the roadside in the deep of night, its backseat illuminated by a warm, beige light, creating a cozy and relaxed atmosphere.
A large brown teddy bear lay sprawled across the backseat, its eyes stitched shut, its head tilted as it silently watched the person across from it.
Yan Su held Zhen Ai in his arms, sitting on the ground as he stitched up the bear's belly.
She quietly grasped the bear's stomach while he patiently and meticulously threaded the needle. On the narrow, cramped carpet of the car, the two worked in perfect harmony, silent.
The bear had a big head, short, chubby legs, and a long body, with an incision in its belly over a meter long. Yan Su sewed the stitches with care, occasionally distracted, glancing down at the girl in his arms.
He still vividly remembered how she had rushed out from home not long ago—her long hair, white dress, alone and thin, struggling to hold the plump bear that was as tall as she was.
The bear's cotton stuffing was spilling out, looking innocent; she trembled in anger, her eyes brimming with tears.
He had anticipated that the CIA was conducting a security sweep but hadn't expected Yan Xiao Su the bear to be treated this way.
At that moment, she had cried, "I'm sorry! They took apart the Yan Xiao Su you gave me."
And now, she quietly nestled in his embrace, her expression blank, as if she had vanished, the tear stains on her pale face having long dried.
His heart felt heavy and pained, yet he didn't ask her what had happened. Instead, he tightened his embrace, brushing his chin against her temple now and then, seemingly wanting to provide her with warmth and strength.
At first, she didn't respond and remained in a daze. After a long time, as the bear's belly was almost stitched up, she finally lifted her head, her vacant gaze drifting to the sidewalk outside the car window.
Leaning her head against his shoulder, she gazed at the dappled shadows of trees under the streetlights. A flicker of bone-deep resentment crossed her eyes as she weakly said, "I truly hate them!"
At that moment, Yan Su was tying off the thread, and he detected the hatred in her tone. His fingers paused slightly. He turned to look at her; her desolate profile was close enough to his lips that his heart suddenly ached. "They… who?"
He knew she wasn't referring to those agents.
She leaned against his chest, not answering the question, but instead said, "I want to see my mother."
On the East Coast in the early morning, the wind howled fiercely;
It was the darkest part of the night, with not a single star in the sky.
Zhen Ai stood on the steep cliff, surrounded by overgrown weeds, before a small white square stone tablet that was bare of any letters.
Yan Su stood more than ten meters behind her, motionless, watching her. He wondered if she would be cold in such a thin dress in the sea breeze. He wanted to go over and embrace her, to give her warmth, but he restrained that impulse. He knew that what she needed most at that moment was solitude.
The night was thick, and Zhen Ai stood close to the cold, low stone tablet. Beneath it lay only half of her mother's skull. The day she pressed the black-and-white button, her mother had turned to dust before her eyes.
She remembered being frozen in shock at that moment. Arthur had gripped her shoulders tightly, his eyes fierce enough to swallow her whole: "You really don't believe me! I told you the white button was the cancel key, but you doubted me and pressed the black one!"
Bert had leaned closer, whispering in her ear, "Because of our little C, she actually wanted to kill her mother. Ha! Just like us, she's a demon at heart."
Now, Zhen Ai gazed at the vast, dark sky and sea before her, her lips curling slightly upward: "Shouldn't you be the one who dies?"
"I truly hate you, I hate you to death."
Her frail figure stood upright in the night wind, slowly turning her head, casting her gaze downward at the stone tablet, looking down at it as if she were disdainful, speaking without a hint of sadness, as if recounting someone else's story: "You are my mother, aren't you? But I can't even remember your face because I never dared to look up at you. Haha, the most evil scientist, you actually have the right to educate me."
"You… you even have the audacity to say that scientists should dedicate their lives to research. This is how you imposed everything you deemed correct onto me, turning my life into a never-ending suffering pilgrimage."
In the blackness of the world, only her lonely, emaciated figure stood out in white. Her voice was devoid of emotion, yet each word was heart-wrenching:
"You always said women should have a heart as resilient as men's, that they shouldn't be weak or distracted like men. So I can't cry because you said that was cowardice; I can't laugh because you said that was seduction. You said femininity is a bad thing, so I can't eat sweets, can't wear colorful clothes, can't have dolls, can't touch colorful things, and even my hair can only be tied back in a ponytail."
The sea breeze whipped her white dress and long hair, pulling a tragic flower from the darkness.
"You also said that many women fail because they are too emotionally tied down. Don't believe, and there will be no betrayal; don't love, and there will be no heartbreak. But do you know? My heart can never break, because of you, it has never been whole from the beginning!"
"I can't be happy, nor can I be angry. I can't resist, nor can I disobey. Because you said all emotions are desires, and desires are the root of all misfortune."
She stared at the stone slab beneath her feet, her voice gradually trembling with a hint of gritted teeth: "But I've been trained by you to be so obedient, so adept at conducting experiments, that I have no expectations for life. Why am I still so unfortunate!!!"
She could no longer control her emotions and kicked the stone slab, only to stumble and fall to the ground in pain.
"You never gave me a choice. Did you ever ask me what I liked? You said this kind of life was complete, but I feel ashamed every day for the emptiness of my life; I fear the strangeness of this world every day. You said listening to you would give life meaning. But to me, it seems you have completely replicated your tragic and absurd life in mine."
She lowered her head deeply, nearly banging it against her knees, as if some invisible weight pressed down on her shoulders, preventing her from standing straight.
"Are you happy now?" She stared blankly and directly at the stone slab, "I silence myself, don't believe in anyone; I tread carefully, neither sad nor joyful. Are you happy?"
Suddenly, she laughed, but it was especially sorrowful:
"I ate the candy that Arthur gave me, and you whipped me; when I didn't want to stay in the lab and wanted to go out to play, you punished me by making me kneel in the corner; when Bert held my hand, you locked me in a dark room, saying I was behaving recklessly, learning with an impure heart… How old was I then… four! I screamed and cried desperately; you heard me, didn't you? I was so small; how could you bear to…"
Unbeknownst to her, tears had already streamed down her face.
"Finally, I've had enough of the lessons and dared not go against your will anymore. For a full 17 years, I always thought it was because I was disobedient that you never praised me; I always thought it was because I misbehaved that they always bullied me; I thought all the misfortune was my fault."
"But now I realize it's all because of you! It's you who turned me into this, making them desire to control me even more. Now, I don't listen to you anymore. I will cry, I will laugh, I will eat candy, wear colors, and even braid my hair. Come, hit me, scold me! Punish me by making me kneel in the corner or locking me in a dark room!"
She slammed her fist against the stone slab, furious as if she wanted to bite her own teeth off.
"When you were dying, you actually told me to be happy? What right do you have to say that? What right!!! You, the most evil scientist, what right do you have to expect me to live well??"
She cried heart-wrenchingly, desperately pounding the stone slab beneath her knees. "Because of you, my whole life has long been ruined!"
Yan Su saw her lose control and rushed over to hold her in his arms. He wanted to comfort her but couldn't find the words. He thought about saying, "Ai, don't be like this, don't cry," yet he also hoped she would let it all out and cry it out.
Furrowing his brows tightly, an overwhelming sense of helplessness surged in him for the first time. He listened to her sorrowful cries, and his heart twisted painfully.
She buried her head in his arms, clutching his elbow, sobbing, "Yan Su, I hate them! Why are they evil? Why did they turn me into a bad person!"
He held her hair, pressing his cheek against her tear-stained face, his eyes deep like the dark sky at that moment: "You're not, Ai, you're not a bad person, you're not."
She cried in anguish, "Why am I their child? It's all because of them that I've had such a hard life, hiding and unable to lift my head; it's all because of them that I have to carry the sins of their debts. They died easily, but I have to live and do those damned endless experiments day by day. I can't stop, can't be confused. The antidote doesn't come out, and every person who has suffered and died because of them has to be counted on my head!"
She buried her face in his chest, crying heartbreakingly, her tears flooding into his neck like a river. "I'm so tired, really so tired!"
As the night deepened, the sea breeze howled, and she trembled in his arms while crying.
He knew that although she said she hated them, she carried a heavy guilt in her heart because her mother died by her own hands.
He also knew that she despised her mother's constraints and harshness, hated her mother's evil and mistakes, yet still unhesitatingly took on the responsibilities left behind. Not just for atonement, but also because of her inescapable conscience.
Gradually, she cried herself out, falling silent except for the occasional sob. She rarely showed such emotional fluctuations; this time, her tears seemed endless.
Her tears gradually soaked his clothes, sticking closely to his chest. His heart felt as if it had sunk into her tears—heavy, painful, yet powerless.
It felt like his heart was being stabbed with a knife as he lowered his head, pressing against her trembling, damp cheek. "Ai, how can I make you not sad? What can I do to make you not sad?"
---
Returning home, it was already 4 AM, and faint dawn light began to appear outside.
Yan Su pulled the thick curtains shut and walked softly to the bedside. The dim lamp illuminated the scene where Zhen Ai was curled up beside a large stuffed bear, looking small on his bed.
Tonight's emotional outburst had exhausted her completely, and she had fallen into a deep sleep.
Now, she quietly snuggled next to the bear, her eyelashes still wet.
He looked at her delicate face, marred by tear stains, wanting to touch her but ultimately refraining for fear of waking her. He wanted to hold her and sleep, but seeing her finally sleep soundly, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
He stood by the bed, watching her for a long time. Until she gradually sank into a deeper dream, her tightly knit brows relaxed, and he finally smiled, feeling both relieved and sad. He turned off the lamp and walked to his desk to fetch some stationery and a pen.
The classic desk clock ticked quietly as she slept on the dimly lit bed, silent and peaceful; he bowed his head at the desk, writing softly, his profile calm and enduring.
Yan Su finished writing and then rested his head on the desk, falling asleep until his phone in his pocket vibrated. Rubbing his eyes awake, he realized it was already past ten in the morning. He pulled aside the thick curtains, letting no light in, with only the desk lamp still lit.
He tiptoed to the bed, where Zhen Ai was still peacefully sleeping, hugging the stuffed bear.
They say that one sleeps well after a good cry.
He stared at the bear's fluffy head for a few seconds, thinking that this damn bear was luckier than he was.
---
As Yan Su went downstairs, L.J was already waiting for him in the library.
She was dressed simply in a T-shirt and jeans, her high ponytail giving her a sharp appearance, a stark contrast to the girl who used to love dressing up.
L.J turned her head and, seeing Yan Su's slightly messy hair, paused for a moment. "You just woke up?"
"Yeah." He held a glass of water, drinking while searching for a book on the shelf.
L.J was silent for a long time. Remembering his obsessive cleanliness, how he always kept himself impeccably neat and would never appear so relaxed around others, she smiled slightly. "Are you in love?"
Yan Su paused his fingers on the book, not turning around. "Didn't we meet that day?"
"That day was seeing you; today is feeling you." She said, a hint of melancholy flashing in her deep brown eyes. "Love changes a man's aura, even if he has zero emotional intelligence." She could see that his previously cold and distant demeanor had softened considerably, becoming more gentle. His brows and eyes no longer appeared as cool as before but carried a hint of happiness. This man was no longer alone.
Yan Su's hand paused, and he lowered his gaze. "I remember that line."
She took a deep breath and walked over. "I'm very curious, what kind of girl could make a man like you, with zero emotional intelligence, fall in love?"
Without a moment's thought, he lifted his gaze. "My girl."
The girl destined for you?
L.J was taken aback for a moment and then laughed, "I knew that if I talked to you for less than ten sentences, you'd say something nonsensical."
Yan Su replied, "You didn't come to me just to ask about my situation, did you?"
L.J's smile faded, and she returned to the topic. "I found some leads related to Alex."
Yan Su's eyes grew calm. "You've been doing this for five years?"
"Yes." L.J smiled bitterly. "I still want to stupidly figure out why he died."
"L.J…" Yan Su recalled the events from back then, feeling somewhat heavy but unsure what to say. "You…"
"Isn't it too foolish?" L.J looked up at the sky. "I ruined my reputation for a jerk, and now I've spent so many years trying to find out the cause of his death."
Yan Su was silent for a while. "He was a very smart jerk."
L.J was stunned, then chuckled before her smile gradually faded. "The S.A. Black and White Key incident wasn't your fault. He chose death himself; I just want to know who pushed him."
Yan Su remained expressionless.
L.J said, "Didn't you say he told you before he died that he was working for the S.P.A organization? I found out that the 1 billion he stole back then disappeared because many organizations collaborated in moving and hiding the money. But once the storm passed, Alex kept the money for himself."
As she spoke, she smiled lightly, her tone disdainful yet slightly proud. "This jerk, he used people and then kicked them aside; it really is his style."
Yan Su remained silent; even without understanding emotional intelligence, he grasped her meaning. For so many years, she had been troubled by one question: did Alex truly love her back then, or did he merely use her and then discard her?
Back then, he couldn't discern whether his friend Alex genuinely loved L.J; now, it was impossible to know.
Yan Su: "So, have you found the whereabouts of that money?"
L.J gave a somewhat awkward smile. "Not exactly. I just learned that the accomplices involved in the transfer of the money are about to gather. The interesting part is that when they conspired back then, they all wore masks and used codenames, so nobody knew each other. I initially thought it would be a good opportunity to pose as an insider and gather information. But when the day came, I hesitated and didn't dare to go."
She lowered her head and handed him the file bag she was holding. "I know about Alex's death, and you haven't let it go. Here's everything I know. Use it if it's useful; if not, just throw it away!"
Yan Su accepted it and asked, "How's your health?"
L.J instinctively rubbed her eyes. "Heh, I'm okay." Just as she was about to say something, she noticed a girl standing across from her, wearing a white dress with long hair cascading down, holding a giant plush bear.
The girl's expression was clean and clear, watching her without curiosity or probing; after a second, she turned to Yan Su.
Yan Su had already seen her, and a gentle smile unconsciously appeared on his lips. "You're awake?"
"Mm." Zhen Ai walked over to him and leaned against his side, then stood still.
L.J raised an eyebrow slightly; Zhen Ai's behavior seemed very childlike, and she found it hard to imagine the dynamic between her and Yan Su. Plus, it looked like they had been sleeping together?
Earlier, in the backlight, she hadn't seen clearly. Once Zhen Ai stood still, L.J couldn't help but glance at her a few times. She was beautiful... no, wait... she furrowed her brow slightly. "Have we met somewhere?"
Zhen Ai heard her and looked up at her, pausing for a few seconds before shaking her head. "I don't remember you."
L.J: "Can I ask what your name is?"
"Zhen Ai."
"I mean, your real name."
Zhen Ai remained unfazed, her expression cold. Yan Su frowned. "L.J, what are you doing?"
L.J smiled faintly. "I asked such an impolite question, yet she didn't get angry."
Yan Su replied for her: "She's not used to talking to strangers."
L.J was momentarily speechless; after a while, she mouthed to him, "Look at her eye color; she's from the organization."
Yan Su didn't answer, but Zhen Ai understood L.J's words and said flatly, "You were infected with the AP3 virus five years ago. But since you're still alive now, it should be a slow-releasing virus."
L.J was stunned. "You!"
Zhen Ai explained calmly, "In a moment of panic just now, a faint hint of violet flashed in your eyes. That's a typical characteristic of the AP3 virus. In addition, you should possess some abilities and extraordinary strength, as well as some..."
Some pain and side effects that ordinary people couldn't understand.
Zhen Ai didn't continue.
L.J was so shocked she couldn't speak.
Zhen Ai, holding the plush bear, quietly watched her. After a few seconds, feeling sorry for the girl before her who had been infected by the virus, she hesitated, took a few steps forward, raised her hand, and gently patted L.J's shoulder, once, twice.
Then she slowly returned to Yan Su's side and said, "I used to be part of the organization, but I've escaped." She lowered her gaze, as if having made a certain decision, then raised her eyes. "I will work hard to develop an antidote. When I succeed, I will help you first to cure your poisoning. So please endure a little longer."
She deeply bowed while holding the bear. "I'm sorry for your suffering."
L.J felt a sudden pang in her heart. After so many days and nights, she had suffered like a monster, but it turned out someone understood her and was trying to save her.
"Thank you too," she said with a faint smile and left without saying more.
Zhen Ai watched her retreating figure, took a deep breath; though saddened and unwilling, after crying and making a fuss, she still had to walk the right path upon waking.
She leaned her head against Yan Su's shoulder, slowly smiling. "Don't worry; I'm actually very happy and content now. I will continue to do what I think is right."
Yan Su wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, leaning against her shoulder with a slightly proud smile. "Oh, so much positive energy. Have you read the letter I wrote to you?"
Zhen Ai was taken aback, turning to look at him. "Letter? What letter?"
"The one on the desk."
"Eh, is there one? I'll go find it!"
Yan Su: …
He had sacrificed his sleep to write that encouraging letter...
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone