Aemon Targaryen

LV 5

Truth_Only_Reader

I am not gonna go through my usual review table, but instead, straight up, tell my thoughts for this story. But my review is just criticism for the story, and hopefully, the author can grow from this. So first, for writing quality, it gets 2 stars. The reason I gave it this is because the grammar is fine and passable, but I do not like the transition at all. It felt very annoying with the transition of the timeskip to another it wasn't a smooth one at all. In fact, it was very incredibly annoying, especially with how quickly everything fell into place. I also didn't understand Daemon characters in the story whatsoever. To me, it never made sense how much why he disliked Aemon. I know it's your version of Daemon, and that's fine, but in my personal opinion, Daemon is not this much of a pain towards his own child, especially a son. He has a view of Targaryen supremacy, but the fact that his son had a dragon should mean that he is proud of him, especially since he looked more Valyrian than Royce. It's been stated that the MC looks like Aemon Son of Jaehaerys rather than a Royce. Viserys disliking him early in his childhood doesn't make sense also, why would he be jealous of his grandmother liking his grandson more. Isn't it like that for every old person who has grandchildren. I think he would've appreciated Aemon more. Lastly, his disinheritance of the line is just stupid. It wouldn't matter if he was Daemon's child. He would've been looked upon as a still favorably, especially as a Dragon rider and someone who was greatly cared for by Alysanne. It genuinely never made sense to me. Aemon is fine playing passive, but the way you just skimmed over the details is really annoying, but I get you want to go ahead and do the dance. I don't really like your depiction of Rhaenyra. Sure, Daemon could've influenced her to think that way, but her mother was an Arryn. She was raised more by her mother than her father. It doesn't matter if her maternal grandmother was a Targaryen. She is basically one-quarter Targaryen. With Aemon just being half, he had a bastard who is basically the same thing? Daemon is someone who hates people who don't look Targaryen. Rhaenyra's attitude, especially to someone who is like a year younger than her, doesn't make sense to me. Especially since she was raised by her mother. Sure, she is fierce and immature, but to hate someone you don't know is something she wouldn't do, especially due to her mother and her father being so kind. Story Development Wise, I gave it a 2 because I genuinely am confused about how this is heading. He is intelligent, but he genuinely doesn't know how to use it that well. He reinforces Runestone, but he doesn't grab more power for himself in the Arryn? It doesn't feel like he is doing that. Sure, avoiding the game of thrones will make you live and win. But literally, he has to play it. He is a royal prince. He can't disappear and be forgotten about, especially with a dragon that is capable of being the size of Balerion. It genuinely doesn't make sense that he doesn't play the game. Sure, he avoids it, but I want to see more chapters of him playing it better without being cringe. The rest are 5 stars because everything is fine except those concepts I mentioned. I feel like you need to work more on flushing out the characters and being more immersed in the world of ASOIAF, I just feel like this is just a regular typical self insert. I know you are writing this as a passion, and that's fine. Keep writing. Don't take my suggestions or my critics too seriously. These are just my opinions. Other than that,keep writing, keep going. Thank you for reading.

LV 12

Pluto28

i was expecting great things at first but as the story goes on, it has hardly any development on the mc's character, he acts like an intelligent person with great plans but in reality it is not. Bis character development is very weak to say rhe least. Not a great story.

LV 1

Jhon_4525

Boring, rough and very lukewarm characters and a protagonist who has nothing special and much less his dragon [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=angry][img=angry][img=angry][img=angry]

LV 14

WarlockMagus

All your stories are really good the only thing holding it back is how quickly it gets updated................................................

LV 4

Stormshadow787

as long as this jon doesn't become a lunatic like your aegon snow one then it should be good

LV 3

DaoistQ7Mcec

I just realized something, Urrax is the luckiest dude in this fic. He eats, sleep, then wake up and fly to repeat the process to grow stronger, while Aemon just keeps adding points to him. This is probably what dream life is like to dragons. Though a question arise, will Urrax ever be able to speak? At a certain point, his magic and physical stats will reach height that are impossible realistically, so what will the effect be? Will Urrax ever have muscles? I just can't help but compare him to dragons from Fairy Tail because of the new season that dropped. Urrax with muscles and abs would be *chefs kiss*. Just to flex on other dragons.

LV 1

Ghostrider0002

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LV 2

Amatai_Okami

Your book has immense potential, and from the very first pages, it completely captivates the reader's attention. It promises to be a fascinating work! Keep going! [img=recommander][img=recommander][img=recommander]

LV 4

traceeee

I quite agree with the review of Truth_Only_Reader. I must add though I just don't get how the story leading up too one moment mc is allied with someone next he's the enemy it's endless cycle of friend then enemy. I just don't get what he wants sure he said he wants to survive the dance then he could've just stayed in Vale marry Arryn and have a serious talk about their marriage to at least be bearable. My advise is just skip everything and start with the dance and build up your world from there and give him the mysterious Vibe. Personally I'm not enjoying how the story flows

LV 3

Arian_Roque_3877

me gusta mucho la novela es bastante interesante de leer aunque los capítulos sean demasiado cortos gracias por subirlo

LV 14

xsailos

Its really good, love targeryen centered storys. The only thing I would hope for is a less OP mc.

LV 4

pranav_solanki

writing quality average story development :slow and boring character design : try to be mysterious and mastermind but he acts like a fool and constantly makes foolish choices updating stability :good (just increasing the chapter number story process is pathetic) world background: absolutely pathetic

LV 3

mmkmk

It's a good novel altough the chapters could be a bit longer. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,llllll

LV 1

Xavierzelaya2

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LV 4

Lyle_Herbst

I can already see improvement with the writing, and the story is so far good. So I look forward to reading it PS I hope for a good romantic

LV 13

Lord_Crims0n

good story, very potential so far. I hope the updates remain frequent, thank you for the chapters so far....................................................

LV 4

Aryan_Mittal_3670

bhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................................... ..........................

LV 1

Guilherme_Souza_4778

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LV 4

huH2

this is it guys we got some hotd novel again hoping for the best again since ur 2 other work is masterpiece especially the connington anyway hoping for more chapter to come