Bab 85: Chapter 84: Paimon Goes Live
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******
"I do not know, nor do I wish to. To me, the Fatui merely provide financial support; my only concern is that Liyue's traditions remain preserved!" Zhongli shook his head and explained calmly as he looked at them both.
"This is Childe's initial contribution, and we can always ask for more once it runs out!" With those words, Zhongli produced a pouch of coins and handed it to Lumine and Paimon.
"S-so much Mora..." Paimon's eyes sparkled, but before she could reach for it, Lumine took the pouch away.
"All right, let's get moving. Our first step is acquiring high-quality Noctilucous Jade worthy of the divine," Zhongli declared mildly, gazing at the pair.
"Great! Let's go, hee-hee!" Laughing gleefully, Paimon flew ahead.
***
"Eh, these stones all look identical; how can we tell them apart...?" Paimon glanced at the uniform rocks, feeling somewhat bewildered as she looked towards Zhongli.
"By general reasoning... their appearances alone won't reveal anything!" Zhongli stated mildly.
"Ah..." Paimon was momentarily speechless before suggesting, "Then... why don't we just pick any random one?"
"No!" Zhongli immediately shook his head and turned to Lumine, "Traveler, examine them with your Elemental Sight!"
"Hmm..." Lumine nodded and selected the three brightest stones.
"We'll take these!" Zhongli declared, ready to pay promptly.
Paimon panicked instantly; she detested not bargaining for a better price. She quickly intervened, exclaiming:
"Hey, aren't you going to negotiate? You shouldn't just accept whatever amount he asks for!"
"Mora holds little importance to me, besides, this is from the Fatui's budget!" Zhongli explained calmly.
"Ahhh, no way! Traveler, we have to bargain..." Paimon exclaimed loudly, appearing visibly upset.
In the end, Lumine successfully negotiated and purchased three Noctilucous Jades at a reduced price.
"Alright, now it's time to select the highest-quality Noctilucous Jade!" Zhongli nodded calmly before continuing.
"What? We still need to choose? Why didn't we just buy one earlier instead of coming back for more?" Paimon crossed her arms angrily, looking at Zhongli with frustration. Having lived through hardships, she was skilled at being frugal.
"In accordance with universal reason, time is far more valuable than these insignificant Mora!" Zhongli closed his eyes and gently shook his head.
"Huh? Insignificant Mora? Then give all your Mora to me and the Traveler, hehe!" Paimon burst out laughing and flew close to Zhongli, teasing him.
"Um... I don't possess any Mora!" Zhongli looked at Paimon and replied mildly.
Paimon fell silent, momentarily speechless.
***
Thanks to Yanfei's "recommendation," Ningguang successfully invited Lin Feng to the Jade Chamber.
Lin Feng sat on a Plaustrite stone, ascending towards the floating Jade Chamber in the sky. With no visible protection around, one misstep could lead to a plummet.
He glanced around, taking in the opulent and grandiose decor of the Jade Chamber, wondering just how many Mora it must have cost. Only someone like Ningguang would possess the audacity to create such a luxurious abode.
"Dear guest from afar, please excuse any shortcomings in our hospitality!" Ningguang emerged gracefully with a faint smile gracing her face.
Scratching his head, Lin Feng chuckled, "Not too far, actually, I'm from Mondstadt next door!"
Ningguang nearly stumbled, taken aback by this peculiar response.
Having seen Yanfei's phone, her keen business acumen foresaw its potential popularity. However, she didn't solely focus on commerce; she also recognized the inherent risks associated with the device, prompting her to invite Lin Feng to discuss matters at the Jade Chamber.
"In that case, let me get straight to the point. If we are to introduce mobile networks in Liyue, the content accessible through these phones will need to be regulated!" Ningguang stated calmly, looking directly at Lin Feng.
Lin Feng understood that the emergence of smartphones would inevitably require regulation. He was clear about Ningguang's intentions - essentially, she sought control over the phone's content.
"No problem!" Lin Feng nodded with a smile, knowing well that he would ultimately retain control.
He took out a smartphone equipped with backend management capabilities and handed it to Ningguang, then began explaining its features.
Ningguang quickly grasped the concept, realizing the immense potential of these devices. They might soon become indispensable commodities in Liyue!
Subsequently, Ningguang ordered one hundred management phones. Naturally, Lin Feng had to pay a ten percent tax on each sale.
However, he didn't mind; after all, he still reaped most of the profits.
Lin Feng also joined the Ministry of Civil Affairs as a regular member, primarily responsible for training the first batch of content moderators for the smartphones...
With the assistance of the Millelith, Lin Feng swiftly constructed base stations across Liyue's territory.
Under Ningguang's promotion, mobile phones rapidly appeared in major shops throughout Liyue.
Unfortunately, this posed a challenge for Director Hu Tao, as smartphones were no longer exclusive to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Feeling somewhat guilty, Lin Feng wondered if he had inadvertently deceived the Director.
On the other hand, Director Hu Tao's funeral money seemed to sell surprisingly well. The image of Zhongli on the bills instilled a sense of tranquility.
Moreover, many families were not financially affluent. Providing Mora for burial expenses was a significant burden, but using funeral money alleviated some of the strain.
***
With Zhongli leading the way, Paimon arrived at the Hilichurl tribe in Dadaupa Gorge.
Paimon waved her phone around and was surprised to find that she had a signal. Excitedly, she immediately opened MiHoYo Live on her device.
Seeing over 99 unread messages, Paimon's face lit up with joy, feeling incredibly proud.
However, upon opening the app, she discovered they were all from Ji Taimei's fans using terms like "twig," "fragrant fried fish," "lychee," "purple clay," "shrimp heads"... which made absolutely no sense to her.
Her mood instantly soured! After some contemplation, she decided to go live once again.
This time, she would be streaming alongside the Traveler Immortal Burial - how impressive! It was about time those annoying little chicks got a taste of her grandeur!
Without further ado, she started her broadcast.
***
Inside Mondstadt's tavern, a group of adventurers continued to roast Ji Taimei, expressing their growing disgust as he increasingly diminished the city's masculinity.
"Honestly, if he just claimed to be from Liyue, I wouldn't be so mad!"
"Haha, then I'd laugh even in my dreams! If anyone dared to attack him..."
"We'd cluck at them relentlessly..."
"Ha ha ha...!"
Since most patrons in the tavern were men with hardly any fans of Ji Taimei, they felt free to openly express their opinions.
Suddenly, multiple phones rang simultaneously. They quickly pulled out their devices and saw:
"The Sweet Madame live stream you follow has started. Click here to enter the broadcast immediately!"
The group exchanged glances before bursting into laughter, "Are you all fans of the Captain too?"
"Absolutely! The Captain's videos are truly eye-opening and thought-provoking!"
"Every time I eat Sweet Madame, I can't help but remember 'Ji, You're Too Beautiful'..."
Bab 86: Chapter 85: Hu Tao's Live Stream
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"Turns out you guys are all little trolls too! Ha ha, me as well..."
***
"Hello... Can you see me? Hear me?" Paimon pointed the phone camera at herself while speaking.
With her puzzled expression, she flew around erratically, almost making viewers dizzy from the shaky live feed.
"I can see you, but stop moving!"
"Huh, I can't hear anything!"
"Yeah, no sound here!"
Noticing multiple comments about the lack of audio, Paimon quickly adjusted the settings and leaned closer to the phone, asking, "Hey, everyone, can you hear me now?"
"Still nothing..."
"Nope, still silent!"
"Oh, let me try again..." Feeling helpless, Paimon paused mid-adjustment, then realized something.
"If you can't hear me, how do you know what I'm saying, hmph!" Paimon pouted, clearly disgruntled.
"Haha, Captain is so adorable!"
"By the way, what kind of creature is our Captain? Flying without wings, impressive..."
"Uh... probably a Slime, maybe an Anemo Slime!"
Holding the phone with one hand, Paimon placed the other on her hip and retorted, "I am Paimon, definitely not some Slime!"
"That's right, Captain! Is this stream aimed at taking down Ji Taimei? I've had enough of him too!"
"What Mondstadt Choir? Never heard of it; they're bringing shame to Mondstadt!"
"Yes, even foreign merchants know about them. Now, we hesitate to admit being from Mondstadt abroad!"
***
Paimon scratched her head, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I... I'm currently in Liyue, mainly to show everyone its customs and traditions!"
"Oh, got it! I thought you were going to take down Ji Taimei's internet presence!"
"Disappointing, but here's a small gift for you, Captain!"
***
"Hehe, can you guess what I'm doing right now?" Paimon pointed the camera at a large cauldron within a Hilichurl camp and asked with a grin.
"Are you eating Hilichurls?! That's not okay!"
"Yeah, broadcaster, please don't do that..."
Paimon quickly waved her hands. "No, no, no! I wouldn't eat Hilichurls. Instead, I'm having Sweet Madame Chicken, hee-hee!"
"What, chicken? Did little troll cook some chicken feet?"
"Our Ji-ge is too good; from now on, let's avoid eating eggs laid by him!"
"As a neutral viewer, even I can't bear this anymore. What has she done...?"
"It seems like I'm the only true fan of Ji-ge. She's truly remarkable!"
Watching the audience she had nurtured grow, Paimon couldn't help but smile happily.
Then, she discreetly leaned closer to the phone and whispered softly, "Let me secretly tell you all, we're here for Rex Lapis' funeral in Liyue."
"So why are you guys here? What's the purpose of that huge pot? Is it 'Stewing the Emperor,' turning everyone into immortals?"
"Uh, is this really appropriate to broadcast?" Paimon scratched her head, puzzled. Could they truly be cooking the Emperor?
Observing Paimon talking to herself, Zhongli felt suddenly perplexed. Did she also suffer from Xiao's peculiar ailment, perhaps even more severely? After all, Xiao only occasionally spoke aloud, while it seemed Paimon's condition was quite advanced!
"Zhongli, how do we select Noctilucous Jade here?" Paimon looked at Zhongli, asking curiously.
"Cook..." Zhongli replied mildly.
"Oh!" Nodding, Paimon hung the phone around her neck.
"Traveler, please clear the nearby monsters for us," Zhongli said softly, addressing Lumine.
"Sure!" Lumine nodded and drew her Dull Blade.
Paimon followed closely behind, filming Lumine's combat scenes.
"The Traveler looks so amazing; why didn't I notice before...?"
"Cough, cough! And what could you have done if you did notice?"
***
In no time, Lumine had driven away all the monsters. Zhongli approached and calmly instructed, "Place three pieces of Noctilucous Jade inside to boil and observe which one glows brightest!"
Meanwhile, Paimon's attention was fixed on a nearby bonfire with Hilichurl-cooked food—apparently, it was Sweet Flower Stew with Slimes! She swiftly flew over, eagerly scooped out the stew, and began devouring it.
"Oh my gosh, our Captain is living so humbly!"
"I can't take this anymore; don't stop me, I'm tipping generously!"
"If even Ji Taimei gets such substantial tips, our Captain deserves no less. We can't let those brainless folks look down on us!"
Unbeknownst to Paimon, her voracious appetite inadvertently earned her numerous tips. Hmm... if she knew, perhaps she'd start munching on grass from the ground instead!
Paimon filled another bowl and offered it to Lumine, but Lumine declined, focused intently on the changes occurring within the pot containing the Noctilucous Jade.
"Would you like some?" Paimon turned to Zhongli, asking.
"No, thank you!" Zhongli shook his head; he wasn't desperate enough to steal food from Hilichurls.
Hearing this, Paimon happily continued eating. Surprisingly, the Hilichurls' cooking skills weren't bad at all!
Soon, they identified the brightest piece of Noctilucous Jade.
***
Hu Tao mindlessly scrolled through her phone; Zhongli, that old fossil, wouldn't even let her handle Rex Lapis's Rite of Parting.
He kept saying she was too young, but wasn't Zhongli himself quite young? Who knows who the real Director is anymore! Hmph!
However, rumor had it that many expenses incurred during the Rite of Parting would not be reimbursed by the Ministry of Civil Affairs. So, Hu Tao decided to stop pestering them relentlessly—the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's funds weren't infinite either.
Besides, despite praying to Rex Lapis for better business, nothing seemed to change.
When Zhongli mentioned he had support from influential connections, Hu Tao let him take charge. As long as the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor didn't have to bear the costs, she was fine with it.
Hu Tao opened a live stream app, hoping to find some innovative ideas while browsing videos. Unexpectedly, she stumbled upon Paimon's stream, which had a large audience.
"Huh, what are they doing?" Hu Tao watched as Zhongli and Lumine appeared to be cooking something together.
"Are Hilichurls' pots really better for cooking? I should give it a try next time," Hu Tao muttered to herself. Despite following Xiangling's exact steps, her meals never quite tasted as good.
As she scrolled through the bizarre comments in the chat, confusion set in. Why did they make sense individually but not when combined?
After extensive research, Hu Tao reached a conclusion: In Mondstadt, there was a basketball trainee named Susan who ate some flavored fried fish and subsequently grew black chicken feet.
"Hmm... Mondstadters sure are peculiar. But can this hallmaster start streaming?" After a moment's hesitation, Hu Tao decided to venture into live streaming.
In this rapidly advancing era, Hu Tao wasn't like Zhongli, an old relic; she understood the importance of keeping up with the times.
"Fueled by boundless energy, my heart soars like an eagle! Feeling incredibly confident!" With a mischievous grin, Hu Tao opened MiHoYo Live.
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