Bab 6: The Clown
Do you think coming up with a new joke is easy? Do you think always smiling like a lunatic was healthy? I have to keep up my positive attitude since I started to open my eyes since birth. It's out of my conscent and I can't stop. My cheek muscles are sore from the smiling from days and nights. They call me "Christoph the clown", "Christoph the jestor", "Christoph the party guy".
"What a zapper."
"Well that just happened"
"Umm... what the plop?"
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I'm trying to live like a normal person that can be fit into normal society. I am a person with goals and ambitions. Just because I am borned with a goofy face doesn't mean I should be your laughing cattle. I want respect. I require dignity. I will do anything to be anything other than being a laughing stock.
So, I joined a local community one day...ok? A team made for rescuing the lost people in isolated areas. I wanted to be a genuinely passionate altrustic member of society. And then what tasks did I get? You might guess it right... It's mascot comedian. THAT SO FUNNY! AIN'T THAT JUST THE BEST JOB EVER?! They hired me to entertain the damn little annoying brats who used me as a sandbag to run around and smother their boogers all over my body. They called me a mr mascot clown figure... not someone who is trying to comfort people with jokes and laughters. They see me as a THING!
I don't exist to them. To them, I am nothing but a pacifier to be gobbled up in the mouth of toddlers. I tried to talk with other to change my position to something else. They looked at me with sarcastic eyes. They sighed and muttered and that's it. They don't try to speak to me about anything.
"Oh, Christoph..."
"Dammit Christoph..."
I kid you not. Those are the only things that came out from their mouth. Are they even talking to me? Do they even know that I exist? Am I living in some sort of confined social experiment? If that was then, it would give me more comfort than fear. I could just murder a man right here and there and they still wouldn't taking me seriously. I want to run away...
So, I ran away. No one is gonna search for a lost jokestar anyway. So I ran and I ran and I ran. I ran so much and so far and I was lost in the forest. That's fine. It's fine? No, it's not fine. I shouldn't be feeling good when I am lost in the middle of the forest. Am I going crazy that I almost blurted out a stupid joke that had nothing to do with situation? Also... is that a bear behind me.
I had enough... I will be no use to this world anyway other than being a joke. Might as well just become bear food... The bear just left. When it was not very far away, I heard its chuckle. Even the damn bear isn't taking me seriously. I need to find the shelter. But man... everything I am trying to do right now is in shambles. I didn't know I was this incompetence and clumsy. Was it?
I tried to start a fire and instead of flames burning the leaves, they burned my fingers first. I tried to go somewhere but I happened to be in muddy place for some reason so I slipped and slipped and slipped again and again. And a fucking coconut dropped on my head... but that doesn't killed me. Nature is also making fun of me. I want to cry. But my body is incapable of dropping tears.
Now that I think of it. In my whole life, I've done nothing to meaningfully contribute anything to society. All I did was unconsciously cracking jokes by force of habit. One time, I walked passed the funeral and my humor had almost gotten me killed. But that didn't make people loathe me. They kept treating me what they were treating me like usual. Sometimes, they invited me to parties. Other times, they wanted me to join their adventure.
I didn't had to do anything during those trips. All I gotta do was exist and be myself. I owed people a lot of things. But they didn't seem to mind. I know my corny jokes weren't enough. But It is what it is. It is both blessing and a curse. I wished the guy with the name "Christoph" wasn't just for a clown.
The End
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone