Bab 48: [48] Drowning in the Downpour
[Akane's POV]
I stood at the edge of the bridge, rain pelting my face. Fifteen minutes ago, I'd left my house with a singular purpose. Now, here I was, staring into the abyss below.
My first role. Six years old. School play. I was a tree. Didn't move. Didn't speak. But I felt alive. The lights. The audience. Their eyes on me. I belonged.
No. That's gone now. They hate me. Everyone hates me.
I gripped the railing tighter. The metal was cold against my skin.
My first real audition. Nervous. Sweating. But I knew every line. Every inflection. I'd practiced for weeks. The director smiled. "You've got something special, kid."
Lies. All lies. I'm nothing special. Just a joke.
The wind howled, pushing against me. I leaned forward slightly.
Standing ovation. My first lead role. The applause washed over me. Flowers at my feet. Tears in my eyes. This is what I was born for.
Born to be laughed at. Born to be hated. "Akane's so fake." "She's trying too hard." "What a pathetic attention seeker."
I closed my eyes. The voices in my head wouldn't stop.
"You'll never make it."
"You're not good enough."
"Just give up already."
"Just die."
Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just-
My phone rang. I almost didn't answer it. But something made me reach into my pocket.
"...Hello?" My voice was barely there.
"Akane! Where are you?" Akira's voice, frantic and loud.
"Akira? Why are you-"
"Never mind that," he cut me off. "Are you okay? Where are you right now?"
I hesitated. Should I tell him? Does it matter anymore?
"I'm... I'm at the bridge," I said finally. "The one near the park."
"Akane, listen to me," he said, his voice softer now. "Stay right there, okay? I'm coming to get you."
"You don't have to-"
"I said I'm coming," he snapped. "Don't move."
The line went dead. I stared at my phone, then back at the water below.
Why did he care? Nobody cares. I'm just a burden. A failure. A disappointment.
But he sounded so worried. Maybe...
No. It's too late. I've made my decision. I can't keep living like this. The pain. The shame. It's too much.
I looked up at the sky, rain mixing with my tears. Mom. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't be the daughter you wanted. The star you dreamed of.
Akira. Why are you coming? Don't you see? This is better for everyone. No more drama. No more scandals. Just... peace.
I took a deep breath. This is it. One step and it's over. All the pain. All the hate. Gone.
I lifted my foot.
"AKANE!"
I froze. Akira's voice. Close. Too close.
I turned. He was there, soaked to the bone, eyes wild.
He reached out his hand. "Why don't you come away from the edge, huh?"
I stared at Akira's outstretched hand. Rain dripped from his fingers. Why was he here? How did he reach me so fast? I didn't want this. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Weak. Pathetic. A failure.
"I wasn't going to jump," I mumbled. Was I lying? I didn't even know anymore.
"I just... I needed to feel something. Anything."
Akira's eyes softened. "I get it," he said. His voice was so gentle. I didn't deserve it. "But this isn't the way. Come on, let's get out of this rain."
His hand was still there. Waiting. Patient. I looked at it, then back at the churning water below. It would be so easy to just lean forward. To let go. To disappear.
But I reached out. My fingers were numb. They looked pale and ghostly against Akira's skin. He gripped my hand tight. Too tight. It hurt. Good. Pain meant I was still here.
He pulled me away from the railing. My legs felt like jelly. I stumbled. Akira caught me, his arm around my waist. I should have felt embarrassed. I didn't feel anything.
We walked. Or he walked. I let him guide me. The rain was cold. It soaked through my clothes, my hair. I shivered. When did it get so cold?
A bus shelter. Akira led me inside. The sudden absence of rain was jarring. I blinked, disoriented. Akira's hands were on my shoulders. He was saying something. I couldn't focus.
"Akane? Akane, can you hear me?"
I nodded. My teeth were chattering. Why couldn't I stop shaking?
"I'm s-sorry," I stammered. The words spilled out. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- I just- Everything's ruined and it's all my fault and I can't- I can't-"
My legs gave out. Akira caught me again. We sank to the ground together. I was crying. When did I start crying? I couldn't stop. It was like a dam had broken. All the pain, all the shame, all the fear I'd been holding back came rushing out.
Akira held me. He didn't say anything. He just let me cry. His shirt was getting soaked with my tears. I tried to pull away. "I'm sorry," I choked out. "I'm making a mess-"
"Shh," Akira murmured, holding me close. "It's okay. You're okay."
But I wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. "They hate me," I whispered. "Everyone hates me. I ruined everything. I'm such a failure. I can't do anything right. I should just disappear. I should-"
"Stop," Akira said firmly. He pulled back, looking me in the eye. "That's not true. None of that is true."
I shook my head. He didn't understand. How could he? He was Akira Hoshino. Rising star. Everyone loved him. He didn't know what it was like to be hated. To be a disappointment.
"You don't get it," I said. My voice sounded hollow. Empty. "I worked so hard. For years. And now it's all gone. One mistake and everything's ruined. My career. My reputation. My dreams. It's all over."
Akira sighed. "Akane, listen to me. This isn't the end. It feels like it right now, I know. But it's not. This will pass."
I laughed. It came out bitter and harsh. "Pass? Have you seen the comments? The tweets? My own classmates are spreading rumors about me. My mom... I can't even look at her anymore without feeling like a failure."
I hugged myself tightly. The shaking wouldn't stop. "I can't go back," I whispered. "I can't face them. Any of them. I just want to disappear."
Akira was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke, his voice low and serious. "Do you know why I became an actor?"
I blinked, thrown by the sudden change in topic. "What?"
"Why I became an actor," he repeated. "Do you know?"
I shook my head.
"Because it was the only way I could survive."
I stared at him. What was he talking about?
Akira's eyes were dark, distant. Like he was seeing something far away. "I grew up in an orphanage," he said. "Before that... well, let's just say my childhood wasn't great. Acting became my escape. My way of being someone else. Someone stronger. Someone who wasn't afraid all the time."
He looked at me. "I know what it's like to want to disappear. To feel like the world would be better off without you. But Akane, that's not true. The world needs you. Your art, your passion, your voice. It matters."
I shook my head. "Not anymore. Not after what I did."
"You made a mistake," Akira said. "One mistake. That doesn't erase all the good you've done. All the people you've touched with your acting."
"But-"
"No buts," he interrupted. "You're human, Akane. Humans make mistakes. It's how we learn. How we grow."
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to so badly. But the voices in my head wouldn't shut up. The cruel comments. The disappointed looks. The whispers behind my back.
"How?" I asked. My voice cracked. "How do I come back from this?"
Akira squeezed my hand. "One day at a time," he said. "You keep going. You keep trying. And you don't do it alone."
I looked at him. Really looked at him. His clothes were soaked. His hair was plastered to his forehead. He must have run here in the rain. For me. Why?
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Why do you care?"
Akira smiled. A small, sad smile. "Because someone once did the same for me," he said. "When I was at my lowest point, someone reached out. They showed me I wasn't alone. That I mattered. Now it's my turn to pay it forward."
I gripped Akira's hand, my lifeline in this storm. His words echoed in my head. One day at a time. Keep going. Don't do it alone. Could I really...?
"You two! What's going on?"
A harsh voice cut through the rain. I flinched, instinctively pressing closer to Akira. A figure approached, flashlight beam bouncing wildly.
"It's dangerous out here!"
An officer. Great. Just what I needed. More people to see me like this. Pathetic. Weak. A mess.
The officer's light swept over us. I squinted, turning away. What did he see? Two drenched teenagers huddled in a bus shelter. Akira in his white t-shirt, now practically see-through. Me... God, what did I look like? Makeup running. Hair plastered to my face. Eyes red and puffy from crying.
"I'm taking you both to the station," the officer said. His voice was gruff, but there was concern there too. "This weather's not safe."
Akira tensed beside me. "That's not necessary, sir. We were just-"
A sneeze cut him off. Then another. And another.
I stared at Akira. He was shivering. How long had he been out here? Looking for me. Because of me.
Something shifted in my chest. A warmth. Tiny. Fragile. But there.
"Please," I heard myself say. My voice sounded strange. Hoarse. "We'll go."
Akira looked at me, surprised. I couldn't meet his eyes. I just... I couldn't be responsible for him getting sick. Not after everything he'd done.
The officer nodded, gesturing to his car. As we stood, my legs wobbled. Without a word, Akira slipped his arm around my waist. Supporting me. Always supporting me.
I leaned into him. I shouldn't. I didn't deserve his kindness. But I was so tired. So, so tired.
We stumbled to the car together. The officer opened the back door. I hesitated. What would happen at the station? Would they call my parents? Oh God, my mom... what would she think?
Panic rose in my throat. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't-
Akira squeezed my hand. Just once. Gentle. Grounding.
I took a shaky breath. Then another. One step at a time, right?
We climbed into the backseat. The door shut with a final thud. As the car pulled away, I found myself gripping Akira's hand tighter. He didn't pull away.
The streets blurred past. Rain streaked the windows. I should have felt trapped. Scared. But all I felt was... numb. Empty.
Akira sneezed again. Without thinking, I pressed closer to him. Trying to share what little warmth I had. He looked at me, surprise in his eyes. Then a small smile. Tired, but real.
That warmth in my chest grew. Just a little.
What was this feeling? I didn't understand it. Didn't deserve it. But...
I closed my eyes. Let my head rest on Akira's shoulder. Just for a moment.
One day at a time, he'd said.
Maybe... maybe I could try that.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone