Bab 10: Nightmares and Hell
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I opened my eyes and found myself on the Shibuya Crossing. "Fuck! Here we go again!" I shouted as loud as I could, hoping to wake up, but as always, it didn't work. Like in a first-person hack and slash movie, I felt myself draw my katana and angrily shout at the people in front of me.
I looked at the thousands of people going about their daily business and felt an incredible rage well up inside me. I tried to calm down and throw away my katana, but nothing helped. I was trapped in my body. My eyes focused on a European-looking father who was trying to lift his daughter onto his shoulders.
"Please, no. No, please stop!" I screamed, putting all my energy into stopping my body or at least waking up, but nothing worked. I watched as my body rushed at the father and decapitated him. I couldn't do anything, not scream, not cry, not let my emotions run free. I felt myself set my sword ablaze and burn the severed head and the little girl with it to infinity.
With her tortured screams in my ears, I tried to cover them, but nothing helped. I had to watch as I concentrated my breathing and looked at the thousands of people who were trying to flee from me in panic. But their efforts were in vain, because in the next moment, my mouth screamed in my voice, "Itachi no Amaterasu!" and every person I looked at burned to ash in the air.
The smell of burnt flesh filled the air, and I wanted nothing more than to vomit, but my body didn't even grant me that relief. My mind slowly shut down, and my screams of rage and self-hatred went unheard in my head as I watched my body hunt down the remaining survivors. No matter how much they pleaded or tried to defend themselves, I slaughtered them with a cold gaze.
"Please wake up! Please wake up!" I screamed over and over, but my nightmare had more in store for me.
The images that plagued me every night replayed in my head once again.
My surroundings blurred, and next, I stood before a young woman trying to flee from me. She kept screaming loudly, "Please just let me go! I did nothing to you! Why do I have to die? Why do you keep killing me? What did I do to deserve this?"
I heard my cold voice respond, "Because you are a monster!" and my body beheaded the young woman. She stood up again and ran away, and everything repeated itself.
Again and again. And again. And again.
I screamed and tried to resist, but nothing helped.
Eventually, the woman lay on the ground and asked again, "Why did I have to die?"
And my voice answered, "Because I am a monster."
Then everything disappeared. And although I don't want to hide anything from you, I can't tell you about the next scenes of my dream. They are too gruesome. But you can probably imagine; it's the children whose skulls I split. Every night, I see it again and relive these moments. The last thing I hear is Susanoo's maniacal laughter. But back to the present.
I awoke screaming and drenched in sweat in my bed. My mother ran into my room and hugged me tightly, trying to suppress my convulsive sobs.
"Calm down, it was just a dream, just a dream!"
But we both knew it wasn't just a dream.
Minutes later, I managed to calm down and went to the bathroom to wash the fear sweat off my body. I looked at my blood-smeared reflection in the mirror, and self-hatred filled me. Tears ran down my cheeks, and the reflection stared back at me with a cold, contemptuous look.
I couldn't hold the gaze any longer and stepped into the shower. Even though the same nightmare had been haunting me for almost three months now, I still couldn't find peace with it.
After a short shower, I looked at the clock, which showed 3 a.m. With a sigh, I went to the garden and lay down on the lawn. I looked at the stars and the moon, which were barely visible due to light pollution. As with every nightmare, I couldn't sleep anymore.
Sometimes, if I was lucky, I would wake up in the morning, but much more often, the dream would tear me from my sleep in the middle of the night.
To distract myself, I replayed the sparring with Tsukuyomi in my head. I analyzed every second I could remember until I noticed something unusual.
After being knocked to the ground by Tsukuyomi for the first time, something had changed. I realized that I had been in the flow and that I could see the mist even though my eyes were open. With wide eyes, I tried to achieve the same feeling as during the fight. I focused on my breathing, on how I slowly inhaled and exhaled the cool night air. My eyes remained fixed on the stars as I slowly but surely entered the flow.
I watched as a few clouds moved in front of the moon and felt Amaterasu's blessing slowly fill my entire being. Then I noticed strange swirls in the clouds and realized that there were no clouds in front of the moon at all. It was the mist that I saw.
Despite my joy and euphoria, I remained concentrated and tried to imprint this feeling into my memory.
Suddenly, I heard Tsukuyomi's voice next to me. "The night sky is beautiful, isn't it? Especially how the mist flows around the moon and plays with it."
"How do you know that I can see it... and don't you have some celebration you want to attend today?"
"Amateran-kun, I'm a god, have you forgotten? I'm especially strong at night because it is my domain... imprint this image carefully. Observe how the mist surrounds us, how it changes..."
I looked around and took everything in. Together, we looked at the sky and watched the mist in the atmosphere.
"Beautiful..." I murmured, and Tsukuyomi nodded in agreement. Slowly, my exhaustion overcame me, and my eyes kept closing. But the fear of another nightmare kept startling me awake.
"Sleep, Mitsukawa Amateran, for tonight the god of the night and the moon watches over you," said Tsukuyomi reassuringly, and just seconds later, my eyes closed. A deep, peaceful sleep without any sign of a nightmare overcame me.
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The next morning, I woke up on the soft grass, roused by the first rays of the new day's sun. I hadn't felt this well-rested and refreshed since Shibuya. I stretched and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
I remembered Tsukuyomi's words from the previous night, and with a smile on my face, I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast.
There, my mother and Tsukuyomi were already waiting for me; my father had apparently already left for work.
"Good morning, sleepyhead!" my mother greeted me, and Tsukuyomi also smiled at me kindly.
"Good morning, Amateran-kun! Ready for your new training plan?"
I looked at him puzzled, and Tsukuyomi explained.
"My sister and I noticed that you learned more during our fight than in two weeks of training before. So, we threw out the old plan and came up with a super awesome new training plan..."
He looked at me with a slightly sadistic grin and said, "You will be fighting against me from morning till evening, and we will teach you new lessons until you master Shishi Sonson and mist manipulation. We lovingly call your training plan: Living Hell on Earth!"
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone