Bab 95: 95. He is like me! for real!
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Back to morning:
Making his way to the records office, Gisou found himself greeted by bowing Chunin. 'Great,' he thought sarcastically, 'more adoring fans.'
As he settled into a chair to begin his review, a young Chunin approached him with a steaming cup. "Gisou-sama, I thought you might like some coffee while you work," the Chunin said, offering the cup with a nervous smile.
Gisou looked at the Chunin, his face impassive. "Do you think you can fool me?" he said flatly, his voice devoid of emotion.
The Chunin's eyes widened in panic, and he stumbled backwards, nearly dropping the cup. In his haste to retreat, he tripped over his own feet and fell headfirst, knocking himself unconscious.
Another Chunin rushed over, drawn by the commotion. He examined the fallen shinobi and the spilt coffee, his face paling. "Gisou-sama," he gasped, "the coffee... it's poisoned!"
A murmur of shock rippled through the office. "As expected of Gisou-sama!" someone exclaimed. "He detected the poison instantly!"
"Incredible!" another added. "He's unveiled a spy in our midst!"
Gisou blinked, momentarily confused. 'Poison? Spy? I just don't like coffee...' But seeing the admiring looks directed his way, he simply nodded sagely, letting them draw their own conclusions.
As the unconscious would-be assassin was hauled away, Gisou turned his attention to the exam papers, grateful for the distraction. He started with the first candidate: Nara Shikamaru.
'The Nara clan heir, huh,' Gisou mused as he examined Shikamaru's blank first exam paper. 'Did he know the true purpose of the test beforehand, or was he just being lazy?'
Moving on to the second exam notes, Gisou nodded approvingly. 'He helped the team attacked by Orochimaru and the Sound team. Seems he has good leadership skills.'
Watching the video recordings of the final exam, Gisou raised an eyebrow at Shikamaru's strategic forfeit. 'Interesting. He knows when to cut his losses. That's a valuable trait for a Chunin.'
Opening Shikamaru's file, Gisou read through the details:
Name: Shikamaru Nara
Age: 12
Abilities: Shadow Possession Jutsu, Resistant to below B-rank Genjutsu, High strategic prowess and emotional IQ. Estimated Prowess: Chunin
Background: Clan heir of Nara Clan
Notable achievements/features: Very lazy, had one of the lowest scores in the academy... Estimated to be next Hokage advisor in the future
'This kid is definitely Chunin material,' Gisou thought, nodding in approval. 'He only puts in effort when necessary. A good trait for a ninja on a mission.'
Then came the second file, and Gisou's carefully maintained facade nearly crumbled. 'Sora Uzumaki? Age 6? What in the name of the Yellow Flash is going on here?'
He first looked at Sora's picture, his eyes drawn to the scar on the boy's left eye. 'Why does he have a scar at such a young age?' Gisou wondered, before shaking off the thought and focusing on the file contents.
Name: Sora Uzumaki
Age: 6
Abilities: Proficient in Water Release jutsus (uses mostly B-rank jutsus), Proficient in Earth Release Jutsu (mostly C-ranks), Shape-Shifting Jutsu (self-created A-rank jutsu), Shadow Clone Jutsu, Good at Stealth such that even ANBUs specializing in Tracking can't find him if Sora has a head start of 12 hours, Fuinjutsu (Master)... Estimated Prowess: Jonin
Gisou's mind blanked when he read this, his usual stoic facade almost breaking. He bit his tongue to keep his composure. 'Why does this kid know so much? I was thinking of comparing him to Itachi, but this kid is a monster in his own league,' Gisou analyzed. 'I could understand Shadow Clone Jutsu and some Elemental Jutsus due to his Uzumaki heritage and high chakra reserves. But creating his own A-rank jutsu? And being a Fuinjutsu master? Is Fuinjutsu that easy that any random kid could become a master? Maybe I should look into that... it might help me maintain my cover better.'
Gisou flipped some pages and looked at the description of the Shape-shifting Jutsu. 'Damn, that's really worthy of an A-rank jutsu,' he thought, noting that Sora's Fuinjutsu achievements were classified.
Background:
Notable achievements/features: One of the two main culprits of the 'Orange Incident', possibly responsible for many pranks without leaving direct evidence, Infiltrated the Chunin Exams, Large Scale Rescue and fending off intruders during the invasion.
'Damn, so he was the one along with Naruto to paint the whole village orange,' Gisou recalled, suppressing a grimace at the memory of struggling to remove orange paint from his hair. 'I had to pretend I was testing a new camouflage technique that day to maintain my reputation. This kid's already causing me trouble and he doesn't even know it.'
18 S-ranks on the record.
'What the hell!' Gisou's eyes widened in disbelief. 'Why does this kid have only S-ranks in his record? Didn't he just become a ninja recently? Did he get so many for creating his A-rank jutsu? No, that's too ridiculous. Something else must have happened to warrant such a record. Maybe he's as lucky as I am? Or maybe... he's better at faking it than me? No, impossible. Nobody can be that good at bullshitting... right?'
Evaluation: He has only attended 6 academy classes since the academy started. He is very bright, optimistic, and very intelligent. He also has great control over his emotions to hide them behind a smile. He has red hair and a left eye scar (reason - Restricted, Clearance - Hokage only). Age Estimated to be S-rank: 12 years old
Gisou blinked, his mind reeling. 'You know what, I'm so surprised that I'm not surprised anymore, whatever that means. This kid... he's either going to be the saviour of the village or the death of me. Possibly both.'
He looked at Sora's test paper for the first exam. 'The first question was on identifying the Chameleon Jutsu. Given his stealth abilities, it makes sense that he answered it correctly. I wonder if he could teach me that... for intelligence-gathering purposes, of course.'
Moving on to the second question about the treaty between Suna and Konoha, Gisou found himself choking on his saliva as he read Sora's... unique answer. 'Fourth Hokage was flashing? Did that kid make the wording intentional? And the Third Hokage has old man abs?' Gisou wondered what he had just read. 'This kid didn't really write the intricate details but rather gave an overview in a very... unique manner. But I guess the whole thing does sum up to this, the other reasons were just a disguise to not let Suna lose face. It's almost genius in its absurdity. Almost like something I would come up with on the spot...'
The third question, meant to check Sora's morality, left Gisou speechless. He read the answer again and again, finally deciding, 'I'll just let Lady Tsunade read this answer and decide what to do. I'm not paid enough to decipher this level of... whatever this is.'
The fourth question's answer showcased a creative approach that left Gisou intrigued. 'I would need to ask an expert to look into this later,' he thought. 'Or maybe I could pretend to understand it and add "seal master" to my list of supposed abilities...'
As he read through the remaining questions, Gisou's bewilderment only grew. The fifth question about Kekkei Genkai and elemental combinations had Sora proposing outlandish ideas like "Ramen Release" (a combination of Water and Fire nature that could instantly cook noodles) and "Prank Release" (a mix of Yang Release and pure mischievous intent).
'This kid's either a genius or completely insane,' Gisou mused. 'Possibly both. I mean, Ramen Release? That's... actually not a bad idea. Imagine the tactical advantages of being able to instantly create a steaming bowl of ramen in the middle of battle. It could be used as a distraction, a food source, or even a makeshift weapon. And Prank Release? That's just asking for trouble. Though come to think of it, a jutsu dedicated solely to mischief-making could be surprisingly effective in the right hands. Especially if those hands belong to a six-year-old hellion like this Sora kid.'
The interrogation question had Sora detailing a plan involving itching powder, chilli peppers, and a tub full of angry cockroaches. 'I... I don't even want to know how he came up with this,' Gisou thought, a mix of horror and reluctant admiration on his face. 'Though I have to admit, it's... creative. Unconventional, certainly, but potentially effective. The psychological impact alone would be devastating. And the logistics of gathering and controlling a tub of angry cockroaches... I'm almost impressed. Almost.'
Sora's battle scenarios for question seven read more like the plot of an over-the-top action movie than actual ninja tactics. There were epic monologues, improbable weapon combinations, and at one point, a jutsu that turned the battlefield into a giant bowl of ramen to impede enemy movement. 'I can't decide if this is brilliant or if I should recommend this kid for psychological evaluation,' Gisou pondered. 'On one hand, it's completely ridiculous and impractical. On the other hand... it's so unexpected that it might actually work. The element of surprise is a ninja's greatest weapon, after all. And who would expect to be fighting in a giant bowl of ramen?'
The survival plan for being stranded on an island somehow involved taming a group of monkeys and building a giant catapult out of coconuts. 'You know what?' Gisou thought, 'If anyone could pull this off, it might be this kid. Or me, if I accidentally ended up in this situation and had to lie my way out of it. Come to think of it, I should probably start preparing a story about how I once survived on a deserted island by becoming the monkey king and launching myself back to civilization via a coconut catapult. It sounds just ridiculous enough to be believable... to everyone but me.'
***
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