Bab 18: EMOTIONAL OUTBURST (I)
AFTER a week of staying at the hospital, Haneul was finally allowed to go home. After one last check-up this morning, the doctor assigned to him finally gave the green light for him to leave.
According to the doctor, the changes in his body had already stabilized. Honestly, Haneul didn't want to think about what that meant. Because he knew the doctor didn't mean that metaphorically. The other was definitely being literal about it. Just thinking of the things that changed inside and outside his body was already giving him a headache. So, it's better to not just dwell on it.
But even if he wanted to put those thoughts aside, he couldn't. It was mainly because of his conversation with his younger sister two days ago.
He couldn't exactly use the saying 'out of sight, out of mind' in this scenario. Because he was an Omega was something that could not easily be ignored. Especially by the person involved. The sooner he accepted that, the better.
But he knew it wouldn't be an easy process. He had lived for 28 years with a normal body. Then suddenly, he had to accept that he now could give birth. There's no way he could be nonchalant about it.
Well, at least he could now think of that clearly without getting any goosebumps. That's definitely an improvement.
Although he's very thankful for this second chance at life, dealing with the changes in his body was a different matter altogether. He would be perfectly happy if he were classified as a Beta. Even being an Alpha was better. So, why did he have to be an Omega?
At the start, those same thoughts kept circling around his mind. But as the saying goes, he needed to roll with the punches. This was his life now; complaining about it wouldn't change a thing.
Since he had already decided to accept the fact that he's now an Omega, he should slowly embrace this new chapter of his life with an open heart and a determined spirit. And the first step to do that was to stop complaining and to stop being in denial.
He was already taking that first step forward. Perhaps the upcoming challenges would prove more difficult, with emotional and psychological hurdles to overcome, but he was determined not to be deterred by them.
"Haneul-ah, are you alright?"
His father's voice pulled Haneul's attention back to the present.
He and his father were the only ones here in the hospital room. Haeun had club activities, so she had to go to school despite today being Saturday. His mother was talking to the doctor assigned to him. She's probably asking if there's additional precaution they should take or something similar.
He smiled before responding to his father's question. "Yes, Dad, I'm fine."
His father looked at him with concern. Since they were sitting side by side, it was easy for the other to hold his hand. "Haneul-ah, I know that suddenly manifesting as an Omega was a big shock to you. Dealing with something like this suddenly can be scary. But I want you to know that your Mom, Haeun, and I are always here for you. If you have any concerns or anything that's bothering you, you can talk to us. We will try our best to help and support you, okay?"
Haneul was surprised by the unexpected comfort. But then again, this was his father. The other probably noticed him deep in thought and thought that he was going through a tough time. Which was not entirely wrong.
The words his father said hit him like a freight truck. He felt as though emotions he had been trying to suppress were about to burst out. The relief he felt from preventing their deaths, the happiness of spending time with them again, the unfairness of having to adjust to this body, the worry that he might not be able to accomplish his dreams—everything that had piled up inside him just exploded at this moment.
Tears welled up and began to trickle down his cheeks, leaving a trail of dampness behind. Each drop fell silently. The weight of all these pent-up emotions had finally found release.
Kang Hyunwoo looked at his son silently crying and felt panicked. Haneul, ever since he was a child, had always tried not to cause trouble for him and Eunji. So, the child developed a habit of holding everything in. Never crying, even when he was sad or hurt. In part, he and Eunji were at fault in this.
As parents, they shouldn't have shown their children that they were having a hard time. Despite Haneul's young age, he was remarkably precocious. His innate shyness and timidity made it difficult for him to allow himself to cry. Perhaps in his young mind, Haneul felt that since his parents were already struggling, he shouldn't add to their burden.
Since Hyunwoo and Eunji were both young parents, they were still trying to navigate the challenges of parenthood. So, it was too late for them to notice that their son had developed this kind of habit. That's still no excuse, though.
They had tried to talk to Haneul about it, to help him understand that there's nothing wrong with crying. That he could cry when he's hurt, sad, or in pain. Although Haneul nodded in response, he still never cried afterward.
The first time they saw him cry again after so long was last week. He cried so heartbreakingly that both he and Eunji panicked. And for the second time in just a week, Haneul was crying again.
Hyunwoo could only do one thing at this moment. He hugged his son and patted his back gently. "It's alright, Haneul-ah. Everything is going to be alright."
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