"I would have thought holding yourselves separate from a society whose people you're forbidden to become personally involved with would prevent many of the issues which are a struggle for the rest of us.
Especially when you have so many older and more experienced Jedi Masters to help you find the niche where you'll thrive."
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A moment later, she added "Please don't take this the wrong way, but, you seem quite different from Obi-Wan, Master Jinn, or even your teacher."
It shouldn't have surprised me she was this perceptive. Even if her notion of what it meant to be a Jedi was only partially accurate, that was to be expected.
The Order had spent centuries convincing people our insight and abilities gave us the means to conquer the foibles of the human condition. The better to persuade those we strove to serve of our trustworthiness and commitment to the Republic's highest ideals. When in reality, the truth was a great deal more complicated.
In part due to our being vulnerable in a way no one who wasn't Force-sensitive either could be, or would ever even completely understand. My first instinct was to draw back and tell her that, yes, it would be prying. Yet as I sensed her surprisingly strong desire to understand and help me with whatever was troubling me, I looked into those expressive, intent, and inviting dark eyes.
Finding I did actually want to talk. It wasn't an impulse which was necessarily rooted in any particular bit of reasoning on my part, but her understanding and knowing me better was suddenly something I valued very much.
"I wasn't raised in the Temple creches, or trained in the usual manner. I'm, something of an unusual case, you might say." I knew my answer was one which invited questions, so I patiently waited while the woman opposite me decided on one.
Padme seemed to consider my statement for a few moments, but when she finally responded, it seemed like a bit of a non sequitor to me. "I saw most of the duel between Master Jinn, Obi-Wan, and the yellow-eyed Zabrak.
The one with the double-bladed lightsaber we encountered on Tatooine, then again on Naboo. Initially, he seemed to be trying to coax both Jedi into following him down a corridor leading to the reactor-chamber, but Master Jinn made it obvious he wasn't having any of that.
Captain Typho and the rest of my guards were trying to shepherd me out of the hangar at the time, but our movements seemed to catch the assassin's attention.
He turned into a blur as he tried to race past both Jedi in an inverted "V" movement to get at me, I think. He failed, obviously, because Master Jinn was just as fast. He got there in time to block our adversary's way, with Obi-Wan arriving maybe a second later. Together, they drove the Zabrak back, and allowed us to withdraw."
She gave me the kind of inscrutable look Master Yaddle sometimes did, before commenting "None of them moved like you did, back there. The three of them were all streaky, indistinct silhouettes, but you could at least see where they were going.
You, on the other hand, seemed to simply disappear, then reappear beside me. It was like you hadn't even covered the intervening couple hundred meters." Her tone seemed to invite elaboration on my part, but this kind of questioning was beginning to feel all too reminiscent of the kind of scrutiny I was subjected to inside the Temple.
"One way of looking at it would be my having devoted many thousands of hours to honing the Force Speed technique you're describing. Likely more hours than Master Jinn and Knight Kenobi together have spent on honing this particular technique, because it has far greater utility for me than it does for either of them.
Unlike them, I was trained by a member of a Force-tradition which specializes entirely in using the Force to augment their physical performance.
Meaning not only is my baseline stamina much greater than that of Jedi who haven't had such training, I've also learned how to temporarily boost my available physical reserves at need. Allowing me to perform feats with physical Force-augmention normally only possible for the most skilled Jedi Masters" I calmly explained as I met her gaze unblinkingly.
Padme wasn't deterred for an instant from cutting to the heart of the matter by my misleading answer. Her instinct for winnowing through convoluted assertions to get at the truth serving her well, as she responded.
"That explanation seems to beg the question, What other way of looking at it is there? It seems to me like you hoped that very detailed and technical explanation would preclude my inquiring about any other explanation. If you don't want to share something with me, Anakin, then please, just say so.
You don't owe me your deepest secrets, but I'd appreciate it if this conversation could continue without word-games or comments designed to mislead. I get quite enough of that while carrying out my duties to do everything in my power to avoid such tactics in my scant free time."
Oddly, for being such pointed statements, the words were delivered in a much gentler tone that made them less a rebuke, and more a simple comment regarding her feelings in the matter.
I sighed and looked away, before replying heavily "I was born with the strongest connection to the Force ever recorded. My midi-chlorian count is a little shy of thirty-two thousand.
Coupled with my gifts for working with technology, piloting, lightsaber combat, and soaking up Force-techniques like a sponge? It results in a lot of scrutiny being directed my way for what, rather than who I am."
It sounded so strange to me. Saying this aloud, rather than having every five year-old youngling in the Temple just knowing all of this.
The dark-haired ex-queen was silent for a couple of seconds, before remarking "I know something about wanting to be seen for the content of one's character, and struggling to overcome perception to do what you believe is right."
Her smile was warm bordering on dazzling as she said this, and I could feel a strong surge of satisfaction in her at the same time. The cause of which took me a moment to place.
"It's somehow comforting to know at least one Jedi is down here in the muck of the human condition with the rest of us." It was a comment I might have taken to be rather mean-spirited, if I couldn't see her teasing smile, or sense the growing rapport caused by my being clearly uncomfortable during my admission.
"Oh, boy." I found myself thinking. Even as the concern I should have been feeling at this development seemed to get lost in that smile being directed my way.
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