To be asked such a question, Mo Ran's face was one of bewilderment.
Do I miss him?
In spite of the deep, unforgettable resentment from his previous life, Chu Wanning had never wronged him in this one. Instead, he'd shielded him over and over from danger, and he was the one who was covered head to toe in injuries and bruised black and blue for him instead.
After a long time, he finally responded: "En...All of these times that he's been injured, it was all because of me..." Seeing the expression on his face, Chu Wanning felt a twinge of warmth in his heart. He wanted to say something back to Mo Ran, but stopped after hearing what he said next.
"He's done too much for me, and I can only hope to help him recover a little bit quicker. I don't want to owe him too much." That flicker of warmth his heart seems to have died, completely unmoving,
frozen over.
Chu Wanning stood still for a little while, feeling as though he was extremely laughable.
Mo Ran already told him that the only thing between them was the relationship between master and disciple. It was his own fault that his head became dizzy with excitement at the slightest bit of hope, flying like a moth into a blazing fire, and being scorched into ashes—he couldn't blame anyone else.
Chu Wanning smiled; it was probably an ugly, dejected smile.
"You're overthinking it. You are his disciple, so there's no such thing as owing him debts. Everything he does, he does willingly." Mo Ran's eyes turned to him: "And you—you're still so small, but you're always turning your nose up, giving cheek and imitating how adults speak." He said, laughing brightly, and rubbed Xia Sini's head.
Chu Wanning's head was patted for a while. He was still laughing at first, but after a while, his eyes slowly started to fill up with tears, and, facing the dazzlingly brilliant face in front of him, he said softly: "Mo Ran, I don't want to play with you anymore, let go." Mo Ran's skull was several inches too thick, so he didn't notice any changes in his shidi's expression. Besides that, he had gotten so used to joking around and yelling with "Xia Sini" that he didn't hesitate to pinch the child's soft, babysmooth cheeks. Mo Ran's lips quirked up softly, and he made a funny face.
"Pfft, why is little shidi mad this time?" Chu Wanning stared at the child reflected in the other's eyes, with such an ugly smile on his pinched face, like a pathetic, funny-looking monster.
"Let go." Mo Ran didn't notice, and continued teasing him just as he did before: "Okay,
okay, don't be mad, I won't say that you're pretending to be an adult, hm? Come here, let's make up, call me Shi-ge~" "Let go of me..." "Be good, call me shi-ge, and I'll buy you osmanthus cake to eat in a bit." Chu Wanning closed his eyes, eyelashes trembling slightly, and finally spoke, his voice hoarse.
"Mo Ran, I'm not kidding around, I really don't want to play with you anymore. Can you let go of me, let go, ok?" His slender eyebrows knitted together, and tears didn't trickle out from his eyes because they were tightly shut. However, he spoke in a voice choked with sobs, "Mo Ran, it hurts..." It hurt too much to hold one person in his heart, so he hid him carefully in the very depths of his heart. It was fine if that person didn't like him, as long as he could think about that person quietly, protect that person silently; it was fine if he couldn't have that person, all of it was fine.
But that person's warmth and tenderness were given only to others, and the only things offered to him were barbs and thorns. He held him in his heart, and whenever that person moved, his heart would start bleeding. Day after day, new wounds would appear before the old ones had even healed over.
It was then that Chu Wanning knew that even if he wasn't vying to obtain this person's affections, every single moment that he held him in his heart would hurt him to his core.
He didn't know how long he'd be able to bear this kind of pain, didn't know when he'd break down from it completely.
Mo Ran finally noticed that something was off, and frantically let go. He touched the other's red-tinged cheeks, at a complete loss as to what to do. Chu Wanning suddenly thought that being in the body of a child wasn't a bad thing.
At least, this way, he could say so if it hurt without restraint, could show a little bit of his vulnerable side.
At least, this way, he would look toward him with concern.
This was something that he would've never even dared to think about before.
In the blink of an eye, it was already New Year's Eve. This was the liveliest time of year on ShiSheng Peak. All of the disciples were busy putting up red paper talismans and sweeping snowdrifts. The head chef at Mengpo Hall was busy from dawn till dusk, preparing delicacies for the end-of-year feast. Also, all of the elders prepared spells and charms that they specialized in to add to the festivities to help welcome the New Year. For example, Tanlang Elder transformed a pool of fresh spring water into fragrant wine, and Xuanji Elder released the three thousand fire light mice that he'd been raising, allowing them to scatter around the sect and to keep watch wherever they were, bringing everyone a little bit of warmth and respite from the cold. LuCun Elder enchanted the snowmen everyone made to run around the peak and yell "Happy New Year" at anyone they ran into.
No one expected Yuheng Elder to do anything; as a matter of fact, he was still in seclusion. He'd been gone for a long time, and hadn't appeared in front of anybody since the very start.
Xue Meng stood by the window, his face tilted upwards, looking at the petals of haitang blossoms fluttering from the skies, and spoke as though preoccupied with something: "We'll be gone after today. It seems we won't be able to see him before we leave after all...I wonder what Shizun's doing right now?" "He's definitely cultivating." Mo Ran said through a mouthful of apple,
"Speaking of which, all of the elders are supposed to put on a performance tonight. It sucks that Shizun isn't here—if he was, he'd have to perform too. I wonder what he could even do." Mo Ran laughed before continuing: "Maybe he'd put on a display of "How to get Angry," eh?" Xue Meng glared at him: "How about a performance of "Whipping Mo Weiyu to Death'?" It was the New Year, so Mo Ran didn't get angry at Xue Meng's harsh joke.
He suddenly thought of something, and asked: "Oh yeah, have you seen the little Shidi today?" "You mean Xia Sini?" Xue Meng replied, "I haven't seen him, but in any case,
he's Xuanji Elder's disciple. Xuanji is already being gracious to not mind him hanging out with us every day, but if he kept sticking around us even during the New Year festivities, his Shizun might really lose his mind." Mo Ran laughed: "I guess." The rays of the setting sun turned into evening above Red Lotus Pavilion.
Chu Wanning held a pill in his hand, looking it over carefully. Xue Zhengyong was sitting across from him and pouring himself a cup of tea, since Chu Wanning didn't invite him to have some. He also ate a crispy pastry from the plate, etiquette be damned.
Chu Wanning glared at him, but Xue Zhengyong kept chewing obliviously:
"Yuheng, aren't you done looking at it yet? Tanlang can be pretty harsh with his words, but his intentions aren't bad at all. It's not like he'd actually harm you." "...What are you saying, Sect Leader." Chu Wanning replied lightly, "I was just thinking that since Tanlang Elder already went through the trouble to concoct a pill that would allow me to regain my adult form for one day, then why doesn't he just extract a couple more of them? That way, I can just take one when the need arises." "Aiya, if only it was that easy," Xue Zhengyong said, "The raw materials that go into making this medicine are rare beyond measure, and Tanlang's already out of materials after refining three of them. It's not a long-term plan." "I see." Chu Wanning replied, deep in thought. "So that's how it is, please give him my thanks." "Haha." Xue Zhengyong waved his hand, "You two are actually pretty similar you know, curt with your words, but not bad at heart." Chu Wanning shot a glare over at him, but didn't say anything. He poured himself a cup of tea, and swallowed the medicine that would allow him to return to his original form.
Xue Zhengyong was just about to eat another pastry when Chu Wanning stopped his hand.
"Wha?" The sect leader said unhappily.
Chu Wanning spoke: "Mine." Xue Zhengyong: "..." When night fell on Sisheng peak, all of the disciples filtered into Mengpo Hall, one after the other. Each elder brought their disciples and sat down together to knead dough and make dumplings. Both the snowmen and the fire light mice threaded through the throngs of people, passing them jars of salt, red pepper powder, saucers of chopped scallions, and other miscellaneous things.
Every table was bustling with excitement and chattering laughter. Yuheng Elder's table was the only exception—the disciples were all here, but the master was absent.
Xue Meng looked around him for a bit, sighing: "I miss Shizun." Shimei replied warmly: "Didn't Shizun send us a letter a few days ago, telling us to enjoy the festivities and to work hard on our cultivation at the Peach Blossom Springs, and that he'll come see us as soon as he comes out of seclusion?" "He did say that, but just when will he come out of seclusion..." Xue Meng sighed sorrowfully, his eyes wandering listlessly past the gates,
when he suddenly sat up straight, eyes opened wide like a cat and staring out the gates Xue Meng's face paled and then coloured, flushed a dizzying shade of red,
and his eyes shone brightly. He was so excited that he couldn't even speak properly: "That... that's... that's..." Mo Ran thought that one of the rare spiritual beasts that Xuanji Elder raised had escaped to liven things up a bit, and thought that Xue Meng was surprised because he was inexperienced and overreacting. He laughed: "That's what— look at you, it's like you saw an immortal or something, what's there to be so sur ——" He turned around, still grinning gleefully, and casually looked up.
And couldn't finish the rest of his sentence.
Standing in the snowy dusk outside the door was Chu Wanning, dressed in white robes with a vividly red cape. He turned elegantly to the side to put away his umbrella and shake off the dusting of snow, then his eyelashes flicked up to reveal a pair of bright, slender phoenix eyes underneath, a mild glance sweeping over them.
With just this one glance, by the time Mo Ran came back to his senses, his heart was already beating fast and his palms were covered in sweat, and even his breathing had slowed down involuntarily.
The chatter in Mengpo Hall gradually quieted down. Usually, whenever Chu Wanning appeared in Mengpo Hall, the disciples didn't dare to cause a ruckus.
Even more so now, to suddenly appear on New Year's Eve after having been in seclusion for such a long time, the snowflakes on him seemed to make his face even fairer and more beautiful, and made his eyebrows seem a darker and more defined.
Mo Ran stood up, murmuring: "Shizun..."
Xue Meng bounded up and sprinted with kitten-like excitement towards Chu Wanning, yelling "SHIZUN!!!!!" while running into Chu Wanning's arms.
Chu Wanning's clothes were thoroughly chilled from the bitter cold outside,
but Xue Meng wore an expression like he was holding peach blossoms from early spring, or a coal fire from late summer, endlessly warm. Xue Meng began to shout noisily, not stopping to take a breath: "Shizun, you've finally come out! I thought that we wouldn't be able to see you before leaving, but you love us after all!!!! Shizun, shizun...." Shi Mei also came over and bowed respectfully, his face beaming with delight: "Congratulations to Shizun for coming out of seclusion." Chu Wanning patted Xue Meng's head, and nodded in Shi Mei's direction:
"This master has arrived slightly late, but let's go greet the new year together." He sat down at the feast, with Xue Meng at his side and Mo Ran across from him.
With Chu Wanning's arrival, and after the initial hubbub and excitement died down, the three disciples fell into their usual habits, sitting upright and still like their Shizun. Their table was weirdly silent.
There was flour, ground meat, eggs, and many other types of ingredients on the table, along with a brand-new copper coin.
Mo Ran was the one with the best cooking skills in their group. Thus,
everyone decided that he'd be the one to give instructions.
"Well, I guess I'll take charge, then." Mo Ran replied, laughing, "Do you guys know how to roll dough?" Nobody uttered a word.
"...Ok, I'll roll out the wrappers then." Mo Ran said, "Shi Mei, you make the best wontons, and dumpling filling isn't all that different, so why don't you make the filling." Shi Mei hesitated for a while before saying: "This...There's some difference after all, I'm afraid that I might not be able to do it properly." Chu Wanning replied lightly: "It's fine as long as it's edible, don't worry too much." Shi Mei smiled: "Okay then." "Xue Meng, you can just pass the water or help roll our sleeves up or something. Just don't get in the way." Xue Meng: "..." "As for Shizun." Mo Ran grinned, "Would Shizun like to sit by the side and have a nice cup of tea?" Chu Wanning replied coldly: "I'll wrap the dumplings." "Ah?" Mo Ran exclaimed, startled, thinking that he might've gone violently deaf in both ears. "What did you want to do?" "I said, I'll wrap the dumplings." Mo Ran: "......" Mo Ran suddenly thought that he would've much rather gone violently deaf in both ears after all.
Author's Notes:
There are some little baobeis with questions about the story's background setting. Although bits and pieces have already appeared in the book and more will be written in the future. There is yet to be a detailed summary, after all, world expositions tend to be less interesting. I'm afraid of everybody falling asleep if I fed it to you all at once hahaha~ So today's author's notes will contain a segment of the setting, take a look if it interests you.
First is about upper and lower cultivation world, the "upper" in upper cultivation means the rising of pure air, coastal area on the map, near Kunlun sky pond, these places are all upper cultivation world. The "lower" in lower cultivation indicates the sinking of tainted air, overflowing with spirits and monsters, with the necropolis FengDu as center, most located in SiChuan and GuiZhou region. Upper cultivation world has an abundance of cultivation energy,
suitable for cultivation practice. Thus there are nine large sects in the upper cultivation world, while lower cultivation world only has Sisheng Peak.
In regards to cultivation: There is no clear differentiation of ranking such as golden core, foundation, passing trials or grandmaster. After the spiritual core's awakening, there is only continuous strengthening of one's own cultivation ability. There is no complex grading system. Cultivators practice to achieve goals such as gaining exception spiritual powers, to become the top amongst peers.
But of course there are ones like Shizun, who want to use their powers to do good deeds. People with tremendous amounts of power can live up to a hundred years, maintain youthful appearance, and become a celestial being upon their death. However ones who have been able to ascend while they are still alive can be counted with one hand. Dying of old age, then reincarnate into the next life tend to be the end result for the majority of cultivators.