Bab 30: Chapter 30: This Venerable One Does Not Want to Eat Tofu[1]
"Hey hey, did you guys hear yet? Yuheng Elder's gonna be kneeling at YanLuo Hall for three days as punishment for breaking the rules." At morning classes the next day, the disciples gathered at the Platform of Sin and Virtue to meditate. These disciples were all rather young, teens and twenty-somethings; something like sitting in meditation, heart at peace like still water, was an impossible task for them, and they chitter-chattered in hushed voices as soon as the teacher looked away.
The news of Chu Wanning getting punished spread like wildfire.
The disciples who'd witnessed it yesterday shared the gossip without reserve.
"Wow, how do you not know about it? Ohh... had to go collect night dew flowers in the mountain with Lucun Elder yesterday huh? Well——let me tell you what you missed! Last night at Clearsky Hall, blood splattered the ground, utter carnage! Yuheng Elder took over two hundred strikes! Over two hundred! And every hit was brutal too, totally ruthless!" That disciple punctuated every sentence with an exaggerated expression,
quite pleased with himself amidst the gasps of the shidi and shimei gathered around him.
"Can you even imagine two hundred-something strikes of the rod? Even a big sturdy man might not survive that, much less Yuheng Elder. He passed out right then and there! That young master of ours nearly lost his shit, he ran right in there and started brawling with Jielu Elder, wouldn't let him touch so much as a hair on Yuheng Elder, man what a scene that was——" Face scrunched up like a meatbun in animated excitement, he held up a finger and wagged it in conclusion. "Tsk tsk tsk." A little shimei paled immediately. "Oh no! Yuheng Elder fainted?" "The young master seriously fought with Jielu Elder?" "No wonder Yuheng Elder wasn't at morning classes today...that's awful...which rule did he break though?" "I heard he beat up a client in a fit of rage." "..." The idle gossip drifted into Xue Meng's ears now and again. The young master of Sisheng Peak had inherited his Shizun's terrible temper, but unfortunately for him, everyone at the Platform of Sin and Virtue—not just one or two people—was chattering about Yuheng Elder getting punished; the clamor ruffled his feathers but he could do nothing about it.
The vein on Xue Meng's forehead throbbed incessantly, while Mo Ran yawned non-stop, having not slept a wink all night.
Xue Meng had no other outlet, so he grumbled spitefully at Mo Ran,
"Morning is the most important time of the day, what are you doing being a lazy mutt first thing in the morning! Is this how Shizun taught you?" "Hah?" Mo Ran, bleary-eyed, yawned again. "Xue Meng are you that bored or something, Shizun lecturing me is one thing, but who the hell are you? Show your older cousin some respect, you cheeky brat." Xue Meng said, venomously, "My older cousin is a dog, but hey, if you insist!"
Mo Ran laughed. "What a bad child, being rude to your big bro like this,
Shizun would be so disappointed if he knew." "How do you even have the nerve to bring up Shizun! Why didn't you stop him from going to the Discipline Court yesterday?" "Mengmeng, that's Shizun you're talking about, Yuheng of the Night Sky,
Beidou Immortal? I'd like to see you stop him." Xue Meng exploded with rage, eyebrows drawn together in anger as he leapt to his feet and drew his sword. "The fuck did you just call me?!!" Mo Ran grinned, cheek in hand. "Mengmeng, be a good boy and sit back down." Xue Meng roared, "Mo Weiyu, I'm going to kill you!!" Caught between the two and their routine bickering, Shi Mei let out a longsuffering sigh and rubbed his temples, trying to focus on his book instead. "Fill the vessel day and night; the spiritual core shall be formed in time. The heavenly order is absolute; life and death shall remain separated as the stars of Shen and Shang[2]..." Three days passed in a flash. Chu Wanning completed his punishment by kneeling in reflection.
In accordance with the rules, next would be three months of confinement,
during which he could not leave Sisheng Peak, and must perform odd jobs like helping out with the chores at Mengpo Hall, cleaning the pillars on Naihe Bridge,
sweeping the stairs at the gate, and other such tasks.
Jielu Elder fretted, "Yuheng Elder, to be honest, I think you should just skip this part. You are an eminent cultivation master[3], after all, things like washing the dishes and wiping the floor…are truly beneath you." He tactfully opted not to voice the rest of his thoughts—— Most importantly, this old man really doubts whether you even know how to do basic functions like sweep the floor, cook a meal, or wash clothes!
Chu Wanning, on the other hand, went to report at Mengpo Hall without even a hint of doubt in his own abilities.
Everyone at Mengpo Hall, from the attendants to the supervisor, all turned pale in fright and alarm upon hearing that Chu Wanning was coming to do chores as punishment, as though a formidable foe cometh.
Chu Wanning arrived, white robes floating.
His handsome face was calm and composed, completely devoid of any expression. Add a cloud beneath his feet and a horsetail whisk in his arm, and he would look no different from the immortals in paintings.
The Mengpo Hall supervisor felt exceedingly awkward and uneasy about having to use such a beautiful man for things like washing veggies and cooking.
But Chu Wanning, totally unaware of his status as a beautiful man, simply stepped into the kitchen. The people working inside couldn't help but take a step back as his cold gaze swept over them.
"..." Chu Wanning got straight to the point. "What should I do?" The supervisor fiddled sheepishly with the edge of his clothing and thought about it for a while before carefully saying, "Would the Elder mind washing the vegetables?"
Chu Wanning: "Sure." The supervisor let out a sigh of relief. Originally, he really hadn't thought Chu Wanning's elegant hands were suited for grunt work and that he might be unwilling to do things such as cleaning. However, all the other work that didn't involve getting dirty required some level of skill, and he was worried that Chu Wanning would not be able to manage the tasks well. Seeing that Chu Wanning agreed to wash the vegetables so candidly, he thought he had no more need to worry.
As it turned out, this supervisor was too naive.
There was a small, clear stream in front of Mengpo Hall. Chu Wanning,
hugging a basket of deep green cabbage, went up to the stream and rolled his sleeves up to start washing them.
Since this area belonged to Xuanji Elder, his disciples would occasionally pass by. When they saw that Chu Wanning was actually there washing vegetables, they were all shaken to the point of not being able to do anything but stammer out incomplete sentences. After rubbing their eyes three or four times and confirming that, yes, their eyes were not mistaken, they stuttered out, "YYuheng Elder, m-m-morning." Chu Wanning glanced up. "Morning." The disciples of Xuanji Elder shook in place and then fled frantically.
"..." Chu Wanning didn't bother wasting his time with them and just focused on his cabbage, rinsing and then throwing them into the basket.
He washed with utmost seriousness, carefully peeling the cabbage open leaf by leaf and painstakingly washing each one over and over. What resulted from this method was that, by the time noon came around, the basket of cabbages still had yet to be washed. The attendants waited in the kitchen, pacing back and forth in distress.
"What should we do? If he doesn't come back, neither will the cabbage; how are we going to make sautéed beef and greens?" The supervisor looked at how high the sun was in the sky at this point and said, "Forget it, don't wait anymore; just change the dish to braised beef." And so, by the time Chu Wanning returned, Mengpo Hall's beef was already stewing in a savory pot and absorbing all of the rich flavors. There was clearly no more need for cabbage. Chu Wanning cradled the cabbage he worked so long on in his arms and frowned unhappily, saying, "Why did you have me wash cabbage if you weren't even going to use it?" The supervisor broke out into a cold sweat, grabbing some paper to wipe his forehead with. In his panic, he said words that he would end up regretting forever: "That's because, we were hoping the Elder would make a pot of tofu and cabbage stew!" Chu Wanning held his cabbage expressionlessly, saying nothing but contemplating in silence. "..." The supervisor added hurriedly, "If the Elder does not want to, that's absolutely fine—" Before he could finish, Chu Wanning bluntly interjected, "Where is the tofu?" "…Yuheng Elder, do…you know how to cook?" "I'm not completely ignorant of it. I can try."
When noon came, the disciples sauntered into Mengpo Hall as they usually did, cheerful and talkative. They found their places in groups of three to five, and went up to the counter for their meals.
The food had always been delicious and rich; they didn't expect today's to be any different.
The braised beef had the perfect fattiness, the savoury shredded pork was rich in color and fragrance, the farmer pork strips were golden and crispy, and the peppered fish was a beautiful and appetizing red. The disciples all rushed in to line up to grab their favorite foods, hoping the chef would give them an extra sweet and sour rib, or add some gravy or chili oil onto their rice.
The fastest in line were always the disciples of Lucun Elder. The youngster in front sported a huge zit on his face, but still eagerly anticipated his mapo tofu.
He gingerly carried his tray to the end of the line and said, without even looking up, "Chef, I want a bowl of tofu." The chef's elegant and pale fingers handed him a generous serving of tofu.
However, it wasn't the mapo tofu he was used to. Instead, it was a bowl of some black substance, an indiscernible mass of abomination.
The disciple stared in alarm. "What the hell is this?" "Tofu and cabbage stew." Mengpo Hall started to fill with murmuring. The disciple neglected to take time to recognize the voice of the person who replied, saying angrily, "Were you trying to make some kind of immortality potion?! In what world is this thing tofu and cabbage stew?! I don't want this, take it back!" In the middle of his tirade, he looked up to glare at the chef, but as soon as he saw who it was standing behind the counter, the disciple shrieked in terror and almost knocked over the entire tray.
"Yu-Yuheng Elder!" "Mn." The disciple was nearly in tears. "No, I…that is…I didn't mean that, just now… I…" "If you won't eat it, hand it back," Chu Wanning said utterly expressionlessly.
"Waste not." The disciple robotically picked up the bowl and stiffly handed it to Chu Wanning, then awkwardly shuffled away.
By now, everyone knew that Yuheng Elder stood at the end of the counter,
so the once-lively Mengpo Hall descended into silence.
Like dogs being pulled along by their scruff, the disciples stood properly in line and filled their plates in a panic. They walked deferentially to the end of the counter, stammered out broken greetings to the elder, and then ran off as fast as they could.
"Greetings, Yuheng Elder." "Mn." "Good day, Yuheng Elder." "Good day." "Thank you for your trouble, Yuheng Elder." "..."
The disciples were all respectful and cautious to the extreme, so Chu Wanning accepted all of their nervous greetings…but not one of them asked for the tofu and cabbage stew in his pot.
Slowly, the line grew shorter and shorter, and the food in front of all the other chefs was almost gone. Only the pot in front of Chu Wanning was filled to the brim, the food inside gone cold, and still no one wanted any part of it.
Chu Wanning's face betrayed nothing, but he felt some kind of way in his heart. He'd worked hard to wash it for the entire morning…
At this time, his three disciples walked in. Xue Meng, dressed in his usual silver-blue light armor uniform, came over energetically. He happily sidled up to him and said, "Shizun! How are you doing? Do your wounds still hurt?" "No," Chu Wanning said calmly.
"Then, then that's good," Xue Meng replied.
Chu Wanning glanced at him and said, suddenly, "Do you want to eat tofu?" "..."
Author's Notes:
Chu Wanning: You want to eat tofu?
Disciple A: N-no.
Chu Wanning: You want to eat tofu?
Disciple B: I-I-I'm allergic to tofu!
Chu Wanning: You want to eat tofu?
Xue Meng: What! … (Suddenly face and ears turn red) I'm straight! I, I wouldn't eat Shizun's tofu!
Chu Wanning: … What were you thinking about? Go to Clearsky Hall and reflect upon yourself! Go now! Stop hanging out with Mo Weiyu from now on!
(Angrily flips table)
[1] 吃豆腐 - Eating someone's tofu means to take advantage of said person,
commonly used to describe sexual harassment.
[2] Shen is a star in the Western skies, Shang is a star in the Eastern skies
[3] 宗师 Zongshi, a prominent and distinguished individual recognized for excellence in a field; note that this will be used as a title later on, e.g., Chu-zongshi
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone