Bab 12: Feelings, Fate and Lost Youth
—OSAYI'S POV—
It started with a feeling.
Osayi was a prodigy in many areas. He'd heard it all his life. The prophecy that he was the second coming of the hero of the Empire, the first Emperor, only solidified that claim.
From academics to swordsmanship, he was a prodigy, but he truly shined in magic.
Being able to manipulate all forms of nature was one of the many gifts from the gods coursing thing his veins. Being able to see physical manifestations of magic was because of the Eyes of the Sun bestowed on him by the Sun god.
Osayi was a demigod in the mortal realm, a fact he'd known since he could form a thought. With that came the cursed ability to see and know things and being unable to stop them until 'it was time'.
And it always started with a feeling.
It was that feeling that kept him from befriending Ísar through the years, that feeling that it wasn't time yet. It was that feeling that let him know the younger boy was going to irreversibly change his life, the same thought he'd had when he met Xinghua.
It was that feeling that told him that Ísar was a dangerous being, one that shouldn't have existed.
Osayi actively ignored that one.
Even when he saw the several undead shadows that trailed behind Ísar, their numbers growing by the day, Osayi desperately wanted to pretend it wasn't real.
Because spending those few days with both boys had been some of the most enjoyable moments in his life. Being a prodigy meant being in a state of constant boredom and anxiety but even though both boys, ignoring every other aspect of their positions in life, were so ordinary, Osayi had so much fun.
He loved the way Xinghua would scold him because nobody ever did, but then the bear cub of a boy would proceed to baby him. He loved the way Ísar would shyly inch closer to him or Xinghua without even realizing it, merely for a form of contact. He loved making them laugh and how neither of them could really ever be mad at him.
He loved them, genuinely loved them. It was such a strange feeling to have.
That feeling, the one that filled him with anxiety, with the thought that something was going to happen, haunted him the way those shadows were haunting Ísar.
It wasn't time yet, but Osayi tried to get rid of those shadows once. It resulted in him oversleeping with a fever and the gods visiting him in the darkness of his dreams.
He'd begged them. Pleaded to let him help his friend but the oh so powerful Sun god merely asked why and Osayi could not think of an answer the deities would understand.
Powerful, prodigy Osayi. The strongest child in the world and the hero of the future. The demigod among men but what was a demigod to the will of gods?
What use were those fucking feelings when all he could do was watch as one of those shadows finally got to his little brother Rico?
The feeling dragged him from the capital's city after ordering Erik to bring the knights. The feeling brought him to the slums. The feeling brought him to the alley just as Ísar dragged that useless guard to the commotion. And it was that feeling that stopped him from doing anything as Ísar finally responded to the shadows.
He watched as the shadow under the small king's command ripped apart those three men. He watched as he moved towards Xinghua and moved the other prince outside of the alley, making sure the other boy was unconscious.
He watched as Ísar's cocoa brown eyes became hazy as the knight shaped shadow brought him the heads of those three men, kneeling in front of the child king.
The instinct to move only came through when the shadow vanished like smoke and Osayi moved to catch the falling King.
"Sayi? Sayi no it's not safe. Get Xing and go, it's not safe," Ísar mumbled through exhausted panic, sleepily thrashing in Osayi's arms.
"Ssh, ssh. It's fine, it's alright," Osayi hushed and hugged him, both of them kneeling on the ground as the Southern Prince cradled the king's head. "We're safe now, it's fine."
The Knights finally arrived and Erik paused at the scene in front of him. Osayi shook his head and the Knight carried on with his job, taking Xinghua back to the carriage as the other knights and guards focused on the bloody scene.
Osayi carried Ísar who had finally passed out and walked back to the main city, and for what felt like the first time in his life, Osayi wanted to curse the gods. He wanted to scream at those cryptic old hags and these acursed feelings.
——————
He didn't sleep that night. He was still staring out at the scenery from his balcony up till the sun began to rise.
He was to leave for his own home at noon, but leaving with the ghosts of the previous night did not feel right.
Osayi's mind was filled with several things at once. Regret for wanting to see that damn play. Xinghua's broken form. Ísar's panic filled eyes. The indifference of the gods.
I'm just a little boy, he thought as tears of frustration began to build in his eyes not for the first time that night.
He wasn't even tall enough yet to rest his chin on the balcony's railings, what business did he have dealing with prophecies and fate? What business did Xinghua have going to battle fully grown soldiers at the age of nine? What business did Ísar have wearing a crown too big for his head?
We're just kids, why us?
The gods never answered his questions which was enough of an answer for Osayi.
He wanted to take both his friends and run away. Go on adventures of their choosing and live together in peace, experiencing true freedom. It was all Osayi had wanted since he was younger. Freedom.
Many saw him as carefree and happy, and by many accounts they were right, but he was so overly anxious about every moment of his life tying back to the gods' plan that he'd never been allowed to experience joy fully.
That was one of the reasons he despised being alone. Being alone meant too much time with his thoughts. It meant replaying each and every moment those feelings and glimpses of the future came to pass, and if he should've done something, anything, to fight it.
It was beginning to become just too much.
"If I run away on a random ship, how long would it take Mama to find me?" he muttered to himself, knowing he would've never done such a thing.
"Two weeks, maximum. Your ma is a lot scarier than your ba so I wouldn't risk it."
Osayi laughed lightly, turning to his right to see Xinghua climb up onto his balcony.
That was another reason he adored the young bear cub. Xinghua always appeared at the right times, like he just knew when Osayi forgot how to smile.
"Aren't you a patient? There's also doors, you know?"
The younger boy—only by a few months, he'd argue—shrugged as he sat on the balcony's railing and looked down at Osayi. "My leg felt fine and you didn't answer when I knocked."
"Hmm," was all Osayi said in response, his smile back on his face.
They stayed there in silence for a moment before Xinghua broke it.
"What was that, Sayi?" Xinghua asked softly in his mother tongue, hopping off the railing to stand beside Osayi. Both of them watched the sun slowly rise with the birds singing in the background.
Osayi knew what he was referring to, sad that Xinghua had actually seen it, but that annoying feeling told him it wasn't time for the other to know.
"I am not sure, Hua Hua." Osayi couldn't look at the boy as he lied, opting to stare at the oak tree on the left of the balcony.
"Sayi."
Xinghua held his shoulders and turned him to face the boy, a look of worry that did not fit boys of their age sitting on his face.
"Sayi, that wasn't Ísar. He looked like he was in pain and you know why," Xinghua said, pleading lacing each word. "Please. I never ask when you want me not to know but this is different. What was that thing that knelt in front of Ísar?"
Osayi pursed his lips while shaking his head, wishing for Xinghua to stop asking. The quick look of hurt on his Hua Hua's face stung him.
"I can only tell you that I am not fully sure, Hua Hua. That's the truth. I have my suspicions but I could be wrong."
That was both the truth and a lie. He had theories but he was more sure about the possibility that Ísar was a necromancer.
The problem with that, however, is that not only was it forbidden magic but that also meant something about Ísar that none of them would have liked to acknowledge.
I'm not even going to think about it.
Xinghua stared into his eyes for a long time before sighing deeply. Osayi jumped when the other boy yelled out of frustration, then suddenly hugged him.
"You're scaring me with the random change of emotions, Hua Hua," Osayi said as he hugged the other boy back. "Is this where you admit to me that you're finally going through puberty?"
"You are so fucking annoying," Xinghua muttered as he buried his head into Osayi's neck.
Xinghua didn't have a lot in the ways of physical affection back in his home, so he always got touchy around Osayi. Being a hugger, Osayi didn't mind, but knowing how the other boy felt about Ísar, he simply could not let the joke bubbling inside him go.
"Love you too, star boy," Osayi said with a small laugh. "Though do be careful. Can't have Ísar getting jealous now, can we?"
He could practically imagine how red the other boy's face had gotten, simply by how red his neck was. Then Xinghua's hug got tighter and Osayi patted the bigger child on the back as a show of comfort.
"He'll be fine," Osayi promised him, lied to him. "I'll look into what we saw when I get back home. Magic started in the South so there should be old enough records. I'll even ask Mama. Also you'd be here with him for now. If anything happens, we'll keep him safe."
We really got attached to that gloomy kid, huh?
"I just…," Xinghua started before trailing off. "It's just not fair."
He couldn't agree more. It wasn't fair. None of them had even had a chance against their fates.
"You're right," Osayi said with a big smile and a small laugh as he moved to look at his best friend. "It's not fair at all but what else can we do?"
Hadiah
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