Bab 62: Chapter 61
Zoro hugged Toji's head tightly, and Toji trembled slightly, burrowing further into Zoro's embrace.
There was no need to cling this much; with the hearing of a thousand demon queller, it was impossible not to hear Zoro's heartbeat. Yet, the way Toji pressed his ear against Zoro's chest to listen to his heartbeat resembled a young animal refusing to leave its injured mother's side.
'Were you that scared?'
Indeed, from Toji's perspective, it must have been the first time seeing Zoro this injured. While Zoro was accustomed to such situations, Toji certainly was not.
"What happened."
"...I'm sorry."
"That's why I'm asking you to tell me what happened."
So I can be angry or fix it.
"Because I couldn't come, you..."
"...? But you did come."
Toji did come to Zoro. It's just that Zoro had dealt with the troublemaker before there was a need for him to step in.
"Again."
"You brought me to the school."
"I already told you that. But why?"
"...This was the only place where you could be treated."
I see. Now I understand why you brought me to the place I didn't want to go.
"Anything else?"
"..."
"Is that all?"
"..."
"You don't trust me."
"I do trust you, it's just—"
"Not me. Yourself."
Toji's issue wasn't with trusting Zoro.
He didn't trust himself.
Not trusting himself, he relies on others within his range. That's why, even after making the right choice, he continues to feel anxious. Toji fears that Zoro will be angry with him, that Zoro will hate him for the decisions he makes.
Apart from their mutual care, this was entirely different from his past life's comrades, who had their own firm opinions and stubbornness, often leading to fights.
"You need to be shameless, you know."
"...I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize."
Pirates do not apologize for the choices they make based on their beliefs, even if those choices lead to adverse outcomes. Especially now, when there hasn't been a bad outcome, Toji is too submissive.
Why he can't trust himself that much is something Zoro couldn't fully understand. Zoro was someone who, no matter what anyone said or faced any defeats, never doubted that he would become the strongest one day. It was frustrating.
Toji silently hugged Zoro tighter. Zoro awkwardly placed his hands around Toji's back.
Zoro doesn't know how much this small, lukewarm warmth keeps Toji alive.
...And how much it terrifies him.
"I'm afraid that you might..."
Die because of me.
Because of Toji's blood-stained past, because Zoro was born being pointed at by everyone from the moment of birth.
Afraid that his son might be broken before he even really gets to live.
Toji spoke as if vomiting out his deepest fear.
Zoro looked at Toji quietly and then said coldly,
"That's a weight you, as a parent, have to bear."
If Zoro had died, Toji couldn't deny his responsibility. Protecting his child is a parent's duty.
—Not that everything is Toji's fault.
"Let me make it clear, it was my choice to confront that guy head-on."
Zoro could have stalled for time until Toji arrived, but he chose to face the enemy directly. It wasn't something Toji asked, instructed, or ordered Zoro to do. It was entirely Zoro's will.
"Not everything bad that happens to me is your fault."
When a strong curse appeared, it was Zoro who, despite the difficulty, seized the opportunity to fight. He had no intention of shifting the blame for that choice onto Toji.
Toji looked at Zoro for a moment.
He didn't want him to be hurt. He didn't want him to live bound by constraints. He wanted him to do whatever he wished. But he was too powerless, too powerless to properly give him anything.
Yet, Zoro's gray eyes looking at Toji were calm, without any blame or reprimand.
A memory from long ago surfaced in Toji's mind. There was just one other person who had forgiven him with such eyes.
...It was Chie.
Toji spoke with a voice choked with emotion.
"You are..."
You resemble your mother too much.
Before even asking what that meant, Toji suddenly pulled Zoro into a hug.
"I love you."
I love you...
Hearing these words that sounded almost like a soliloquy, Zoro wrapped his small hands around Toji's back in return. Pretending not to notice the tears soaking his shoulder, Zoro whispered the same words back into Toji's ear.
...
Fushiguro Tsumiki liked Megumi.
It had been that way since she first saw him at the playground. His spiky hair was fascinating, and up close, his round, white face was pretty.
So, she asked to play together.
Playing with Megumi was fun. Tsumiki played with Megumi the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Even when she went to bed alone at home, she fell asleep thinking about what they would play the next day.
Tsumiki grew to like Megumi more and more.
But it was different with Mr. Toji and Zoro.
It wasn't that Tsumiki disliked the two. Playing house, where they acted as the dad and the family dog, was fun. They always ate delicious things together, and they would read fairy tales to Tsumiki and Megumi.
Sometimes, when Toji and Zoro would grab the blanket from both sides and lift it with Megumi and her on top, making it bounce like a Viking ship, it was incredibly fun. Rolling around in the blanket with Megumi and laughing was absolutely wonderful.
Still, it wasn't the same as with Megumi.
With the two of them... even though they were right there, it felt as if they were immensely far apart. They had their own stories, their own games, and saw something only they could see. Sometimes, Megumi looked in the same direction as them.
But when Tsumiki looked there, there was nothing.
It was the same with Tsumiki's mom and dad. Even though they were right there, they always had their own stories and only saw each other. When she asked, they told her to go to her room or to play outside at the playground.
Tsumiki felt immensely distanced from her mom and dad, but she silently did as they said.
She believed that someday, just as much as they had grown distant, they would come that much closer to her.
Without looking back, when Dad left and didn't return after three nights, and then three more, and until Mom came home with a man Tsumiki had never seen before.
That's when she realized. People who grow distant by that much can just disappear and never come back.
So, Tsumiki kept her distance from them. She thought that maybe one day, one of the two would just disappear like her dad did. She just hoped Megumi wouldn't disappear along with them.
And then, they disappeared.
...In a way Tsumiki could never have imagined.
When Mr. Toji left, and the world turned dark, Tsumiki was terrified. She couldn't see anything, and all she could do was hold Megumi tightly. Each time she heard thumping and crashing sounds not far away, tears trickled down her face.
And when the world came back, Tsumiki saw Zoro, covered in red.
Blood, which should only come out a little even with a fall, covered Zoro's entire body. She couldn't imagine how many falls it would take to bleed that much.
Hearing Zoro's instruction not to look, Tsumiki understood.
'He was trying to protect us.'
To protect me and Megumi.
That moment, she realized.
It wasn't Zoro who was distant; it was Tsumiki.
The events that followed went by in a blur and were hard to remember. Mr. Toji ran incredibly fast, and Tsumiki threw up. Mr. Toji and some people she hadn't seen before kept speaking in terms Tsumiki didn't understand, but that didn't matter anymore.
After the brown-haired sister took Zoro away and then brought him back, Zoro turned green again. But he kept sleeping. Tsumiki, in front of the sleeping Zoro, could only repeat the words she couldn't say out loud in her dreams.
I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
I didn't dislike you. I was scared.
I was afraid you wouldn't come back, like Dad.
I won't keep my distance anymore.
"Brother..."
Someone gently stroked Tsumiki's hair as she talked in her sleep. In the cozy warmth, Tsumiki slowly opened her eyes.
"Are you awake?"
...Zoro, neither red nor asleep, was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at her.
Zoro softly touched Tsumiki's forehead.
"It's about time to get up. You two haven't eaten lunch yet."
His words, delivered calmly, were the same as usual. In a situation where Tsumiki was unsure if it was a dream or reality, she hesitantly called out to Zoro.
"...Brother?"
"Yeah."
"Are you... okay?"
"Yeah."
"...That's good. Really good, huuu, eeeh..."
"...Tsumiki?"
"Waaaaaah!"
Tsumiki burst into tears and threw herself into Zoro's arms, who awkwardly embraced her. She cried her heart out, her face a mess of tears and snot.
"I'm sorry, huuu, my fault, it was me, meeeee. So faaaar away. Huh, haaaaah!"
"What exactly did you do wrong— no, it's okay, just stop crying for now. You'll get dehydrated if you cry like that."
"Waaaaaaaaah—!! இдஇ"
"Uhm... uh? Waaaaaaaah!!! ヽ༼இㅇஇ༽ﾉ"
"...Calm down. Both of you."
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
[Author's Comments]
Megumi and Tsumiki only stopped crying after being comforted by Toji and Zoro.
Previously, when the family played house, Tsumiki played the role of mother, Zoro played the role of father, Megumi played the role of son, and Toji... played the role of the family's little puppy...
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