Inhaling deeply, I recalled the burn.
The familiar smell that wafted through the air.
And the calmness that it brought me.
I used to once hate the smell.
But with time, I grew to love it.
My mind emptied each time.
It eased the pain, relieved the stress, and infused vibrancy into my otherwise colorless world.
That was what smoking meant to me.
But at the same time, it was what killed me.
It gave me something but took everything away in exchange.
Which was why, the sight of it made me lose myself.
".....How do I control it?"
I blankly stared at the ceiling of my room.
Acting on impulse like that...
Losing control of myself and letting the emotions take over...
I couldn't let that continue.
"I need to control myself."
But how was I going to do that...? It was easier said than done. It wasn't as if I could ban all cigarettes from this world to stop them from triggering my memories.
....It was also impossible for me to stop using this power.
For my survival and goal...
I needed to use them.
"How troublesome."
Truly.
This wasn't a problem I could find the solution easily. The realistic approach was for me to slowly grow accustomed to this power.
But...
"No time."
The longer I waited, the more I exposed myself to danger.
I had to sort this problem out now. I couldn't leave it for later.
That's why,
"...."
Staring at my hands, an idea struck my mind. I felt my expression stiffen at the thought, but considering my situation, it seemed to be the most appropriate approach.
"Hoooo..."
I sat down on my chair and took a deep breath.
'To understand emotions, one must experience them.'
A few words stuck in my mind.
It was a quote I saw often whenever I researched about Emotive Magic. Thinking about my recent progress, it was without a doubt true.
But merely experiencing them, didn't equate to fully understanding them.
For that, it took time.
One needs to continuously experience them before being able to fully understand them.
Which was why,
Clasping my forearm, I muttered.
"Sadness."
A familiar pain invaded my chest as it started to feel heavy.
The world suddenly seemed to grow cold, and my eyes started to moisten. I bit my tongue and held the tears back.
"Huuu..."
I had to take calm and steady breaths each time.
The pain made it hard for me to focus but I still held on.
Clasping on the side of the wooden chair I sat on, I mumbled to myself,
"...I need to remain composed."
I couldn't let the emotions take over my mind like last time.
I needed to maintain my composure.
My aim in all of this was to develop emotional resilience by deliberately subjecting myself to various emotions.
Compared to the time when I just came out of 'immersion', the emotions I was experiencing were milder.
Mainly because my understanding of them wasn't very strong.
The only reason they had such a great effect the first two times was because of how concentrated my emotions were when I came out of the immersion.
Even so...
Drip.
It wasn't easy.
Staring at the tear that stained my pants, I closed my eyes before muttering,
"Anger."
Grip—
My grip on the chair intensified and my chest started to rise.
A new emotion took over the last and my face crumbled.
"....Ah."
The sudden shift in emotion made it hard for me to keep my mind clear.
A fire brewed in my chest.
My breath quickened. So did my pulse.
"Kh..!"
My jaw was clenched so tightly that it started to hurt.
Even so, I kept myself rooted in my seat. Even as the world turned red and my vision narrowed.
I kept myself rooted in my seat.
My hands shook.
But my thoughts remained clear.
"C-control."
I forced those words through my clenched teeth.
R-right.
...I needed to control myself.
I couldn't let myself be controlled by my emotions again.
"Never."
***
Haven had 'Extra-curricular Activities'.
In simpler terms: clubs. With the world being grim and the student reality harsh, clubs were set up as a way to ease the mental burden on students.
"Swimming... Football... Exercise Club... Cooking..."
There were a lot of clubs to choose from. From physical ones to nonphysical ones. The choices seemed endless.
"Comedy club...?"
My eyes lingered on 'Comedy Club' for a few seconds too long. Enough to warrant Leon's attention as he turned to glance my way.
In order to remain consistent with the previous Julien, I had him help me select a course. It was a necessary step I needed to take to ensure my safety.
"Are you considering it? To understand emotions better?"
"Uh, yeah..."
That was part of the reason, sure. But there was another reason why the club interested me. I kept thinking back at the joke I said a week ago. The Cheetah, one.
It had bugged me for quite a while now.
But was the joke bad?
'....I don't think it was that bad.'
Or maybe there was a problem elsewhere? The delivery?
But thinking about it, the ones I did tell the joke to always had stiff expressions. That girl and Leon...
Tough crowd I guess.
"That would make sense, but Julien wouldn't go for something like that. You need to keep in mind that—"
"I think it was my delivery."
Yeah, it had to be that.
"..."
Leon's body stiffened on the spot.
'Ah, shit.'
I raised my head to look at him. He looked at me with widened eyes and an expression that seemed to say 'Has he lost it...?'
I felt a little offended by his gaze.
"What?"
Why was he looking at me like that...?
He opened his mouth but closed it shortly after. He then turned around to face the opposite direction.
"What are you—"
"Kht."
Kht...?
I stopped whatever I was doing and leaned my head to get a better look at him.
Why is he...
"Ah."
An idea suddenly struck my mind.
I took a good long minute to think before finally saying,
"What do you call a fish with no eyes?"
"...."
Leon's eyes widened. For a moment, I thought I saw 'fear' flash in his eyes as his body flinched.
I continued,
"Fsh."
"Uhk...!"
His body flinched.
And I continued,
"What did the farmer who lost his rake say?"
"...."
"Where is my rake?"
"....!"
Step—
Without looking back, Leon moved forward. The entire time, his shoulders were trembling. Staring at him, I felt the need to continue and raised my voice.
"What do you call a fly with no wings?"
"..."
"A walk."
"....Kehut!"
Holding his mouth, Leon sprinted forward.
I chased after him.
"What did the cow..."
***
Krrr...
The form expanded, gradually unveiling its massive, decaying jaws and spiky back. A potent surge of mana swept the surroundings as the figure increased in size.
"Keep it quiet. We're not too far off from the institute."
Delilah stood not far from the creature. Her gaze lingered over the creature who stared at her with deep apprehension.
It growled at her before speaking.
"...You think you can stop us? Your struggles are futile. Our preparations are almost done."
"Hah."
Delilah's expression changed. With a laugh, she looked at the creature mockingly.
"You bastards are always the same. How many of your 'attacks' and 'preparations' have we thwarted over the years? Have you yet to learn your lesson?"
"..."
The beast growled.
"You don—"
Delilah's voice, layered by two other similar ones, cut through the creature.
"You can't hide it from me."
The creature shuddered.
"Hide...?"
"Your fear. I can see it from miles away."
Crunch...
The beast unknowingly took a step back as its body shuddered. An unknown emotion welled up from deep within its body, threatening to consume him.
"Y-you....!"
A red glow enveloped the beast's eyes. It understood then that its emotions were being played with.
But it was already too late.
In the moment the beast stepped back, its defeat was already set in stone.
Delilah's expression returned to its usually indifferent one as she raised her hand.
"Krrrrr—!"
The beast screamed, but it was futile.
Within moments of her raising her hand, the space around the beast compressed, and the echoing sound of bones cracking filled the air.
Thud.
Just like that, a 'Terror' ranked beast had died.
Udududuk—!
But something strange happened the moment the beast died. Black foam escaped its lips and its figure shrank to reveal the silhouette of a figure.
...A human.
Crunch... Crunch...
Delilah halted a few meters away from the body, her eyes coldly tracing it. Eventually, she bent down and turned its arm over.
"...."
A four-leaved clover appeared in her vision.
"....As expected."
She let go of the arm, and ambers floated in the sky as the body gradually disappeared from view.
Crackle...!
Her cold eyes remained fixed on the disappearing body.
Gradually, her mouth parted open to mutter,
"Inverted Sky."
A figure appeared in her mind.
One that she wholeheartedly preached to be the Black Star.
A crack yet again formed on her expressionless face.
"....I hope I'm wrong."
It was Friday.
The last day of the week.
Just like that, the first week at the institute was almost over. Today marked the second week of my transmigration.
Time seemed to have flown by during those two weeks. I could still vividly recall everything that had happened on the first day as if it were yesterday.
Quite frankly, I was tired.
Both physically and mentally.
But... I was slowly starting to adjust to this world. Slowly but surely, I was getting there.
I just needed a little bit more time.
"Here you go."
"..."
I glanced at the letter that sat on my desk, and I looked up. It was the last lesson of the day, and I was just about to pack up when he suddenly showed up out of nowhere.
"....What is this?"
"An invitation."
Leon answered flatly. I thought about having him elaborate but chose otherwise and just opened the letter.
I was bound to find out anyway.
===
To : Julien of the Evenus Barony.
We extend our warmest greetings to your esteemed self and cordially invite you to join our exchange.
Your presence is certain to elevate the grandeur of the occasion, and we eagerly anticipate the pleasure of your company alongside fellow dignitaries and distinguished guests. The event promises an evening of refined conversation, exquisite cuisine, and cultural enrichment."
.
.
.
I skimmed through the contents of the letter.
"So, in short... A party?"
"Sort of."
Sort of...?
"...And I have to attend?"
I rubbed my forehead.
I was already starting to feel a headache.
"Yes."
Leon nodded and added,
"Everyone does."
"...Ah."
Fuck.
Leon looked around before lowering his tone.
"It's best if you attend the ceremony. Create some connections. It will help you out in the long term."
"..."
Remaining quiet, I sorted through my thoughts.
Indeed, he had a point. Connections were certainly important in this society. Not only to establish myself better as 'Julien', but for the future when the time came for me to leave this place.
It would certainly make my life easier.
With such thoughts, I looked up at Leon and slid the letter over.
".....Fine."
***
The Haven campus was large.
Spanning over a large land, it boasted seven main halls—Leoni Hall, Rondeo Hall, Dorset Hall, Birming Hall, Milnton Hall, Karlson Hall, and Rottingham Hall.
Each Hall had its own distinct function.
The Rondeo Hall was where the dorms were located. The Leoni Hall was where the auditorium was located, the Rottingham was where the professors were situated, and so on…
Each hall served a distinct function, simplifying navigation for newcomers to the academy.
Rottingham Hall.
Tak— Tak——!
The hall echoed with the soft click of her heels.
Delilah walked forward without as much as a single change in her expression.
"Good afternoon, Chancellor."
"It's nice to see you Chancellor."
Along the way, she'd get greeted by the staff that passed her. Glancing at them, she'd return them a nod.
This proceeded until she arrived at her office.
Creaaaak...
As the door opened, her feet came to a pause.
"....."
Her brows twitched at the sight that greeted her. Scratching the side of her head, she nimbly walked past the rows of documents that were scattered all over the floor before reaching her desk, where she sat down.
Gradually, her gaze fell on several fresh documents that sat by her desk.
They said;
[Extra-curricular Activities First Year Cadet selection]
'Oh, there was that.'
It was her job to review their applications.
Flip—
Casually flipping through the pages, she stamped on several of the applicant's submissions.
Tak. Tak—
Her stamp raised and fell continuously.
Until...
"..."
her eyes fell on a certain application. It was none other than Julien's.
"Comedy club...?"
It was a fitting choice after a little bit of thought.
It probably had to do with his powers.
The stamp hovered over the application when...
"Maybe not."
She stopped herself.
Though her assumptions about him had yet to be proven, she still didn't feel reassured to leave him to his own devices.
Therefore.....
"Hold."
She put the application on hold.
"..."
Tak. Tak—
For the next half hour, she sorted through the documents in front of her.
By the time she was done, her head throbbed. Reaching out for her drawer, wrappers scattered on the ground when she opened it. Not minding it, she inserted her hand in and dug through the mess before finally finding what she wanted—A chocolate bar.
The most peculiar part of the bar was the sticker that stuck on top of it.
It said, 'Property of Delilah'.
Yeah, because this was her bar.
She bit into the bar.
"Haaa..."
Only then did her expression relax, and so did her shoulders.
Finally, she redirected her attention to her desk, where a crystal device sat. It was glowing faintly. Shoving the chocolate into her mouth, she tapped on it.
A voice echoed across the room shortly after.
[...Delilah]
It was deep and filled with authority.
Tossing the wrapper, Delilah replied flatly,
"I took care of the problem."
[What was it this time?]
"Still manageable... Nothing much yet. A Terror Rank."
[.....Terror Rank?]
A certain gravity seized the room after Delilah's words.
A specific classification existed for those originating from the Mirror Dimension.
It was one that the four Empires came to a consensus with.
The ranks were as follows: Infant Rank, Junior Rank, Terror Rank, Destroyer Rank, and Primordial Rank.
The fact that a 'Terror Rank' beast had shown up near the premises of the Institute served as a deep reminder of how grave the situation was.
[It seems like they're becoming bolder and bolder. When was the last time they sent someone this powerful?]
"Maybe a couple of years ago? I'm not sure."
As she spoke, Delilah's hand reached out for her drawer again, and she took out yet another chocolate bar.
"...But it wasn't anything worth paying attention to."
A Terror Rank was a monster that had the equivalent power of a High Wizard.
Her trivialization of its power showed just how powerful she was.
[Were there any other problems...?]
Delilah pondered before carefully saying,
"...It seems like they're planning something, but I'm not quite sure what. I've already raised the security of the institute, so we shouldn't have any problems, but you might never know."
[Yes... Make sure to keep alert. We've already stopped many attempts over the years, but you might never know when they will make a breakthrough.]
"Understood."
The call seemed to end on that note, and just as Delilah planned to end it, she heard his voice again,
[.....Oh, there should be a gathering tonight. Are you going to be attending?]
"Gathering?"
[Did you forget?]
"..."
[So you did...]
"I didn't."
For some reason, Delilah felt the need to deny it.
Her pride wasn't allowing her to admit that she had forgotten.
Because...
She really had forgotten.
[Oh, that's good. I'll be seeing you there, then. I'll be going now, and... clean your mouth.]
"....Uh?"
The call ended on that note.
Stunned, Delilah reached for her lips, where traces of the chocolate remained.
Her brows slowly knit together.
"How did he know...?"
***
It was late into the night when I reached the destination.
Since it wasn't far, we walked along the campus road to get to the place.
The venue sat at the Academy's outskirts amidst a cluster of villas. The chosen gathering spot distinguished itself effortlessly.
Towering over its neighbors, this particular villa not only boasted impressive size but also flaunted intricate decorations. Bright lights strategically placed accentuated this further, setting it apart from the others.
"We're here."
Having rehearsed the situation beforehand, Leon went ahead of me and handed over our letters to the butler in charge.
He was a young man with black hair, perhaps about my age.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Black Star."
The butler greeted me after a quick look at the invitation.
His welcoming smile felt rather burdensome as he extended his hand toward the door of the villa, where he proceeded to open it.
[The son of the third head of the Evenus Barony. A first-year cadet and the Black Star. Julien Dacre Evenus.]
Having already been briefed beforehand by Leon, I wasn't startled by the sudden announcement.
I was, however, struggling to keep my face composed.
'I know this is something nobles do... But does it really need to be this exaggerated?'
There was also the issue regarding all the attendees who were now directing their attention toward me.
"Please have a pleasant night."
The butler added. As if he was trying to add salt to my wounds.
"Huuuu..."
Taking a deep breath, I proceeded forward toward the hall.
I once again reminded myself of my identity.
'I'm Julien Dacre Evenus.'
'The Black Star and the number one ranked cadet in the first years.'
'When people look at me, they are the ones who grow nervous.'
'Not me.'
And with such thoughts, I headed deeper into the venue.
There were a lot of familiar faces as I moved forward. From members of my class to some of the staff and professors I had met over the past week. There were also many unfamiliar faces. Some old and some young.
But there was one person that stood out the most out of all of them.
She seemed to be the center of attention.
The one where the focus gravitated toward.
Aoife K. Megrail.
The Empire's one and only princess.
In a one-piece red dress that accentuated her striking red hair, she stood out, her beauty eclipsing many of those present.
Graceful movements and an elegant demeanor added to her image as she eloquently conversed with those engaging her in conversation.
"..."
Just as I noticed her, she noticed me. I thought nothing of it and prepared to look away when, all of a sudden, she smiled.
Smiled...?
I was momentarily taken aback.
So did the many that were looking at her.
By the time I regained my senses, she was standing in front of me. I felt the attention of all those present in the room.
...And just as I looked down to wonder what was happening, her glossy lips parted open, and her crisp voice gently reached my ears.
"I've been waiting for you."
She extended her hand.
".....Would you give me the honor?"
The fuc—
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