Bab 178: Chapter 178 – Ichinose’s past
"Yukio-kun." Ichinose, after being in turmoil for a while, finally called out to the boy again. Her voice was so soft, as if she feared that raising it even slightly would scare Yukio away like a bird.
Noticing Ichinose's internal change, Yukio secretly breathed a sigh of relief and continued to stroke the girl's smooth long hair: "Ichinose, you're completely different from everyone else."
Hearing a response from Yukio, Ichinose felt slightly reassured. She felt grounded, no longer drifting alone. She turned her head slightly to glance at Yukio.
Yukio noticed her small movement and gave a warm, gentle smile: "Most people take care of themselves first before they can take care of others."
"But you prioritize others and take care of yourself last."
"You listen warmly to others' confessions and tolerate their troubles, but you don't confide in anyone yourself. You keep your worries to yourself."
"When others fall into a deep abyss, no matter how difficult, you help them climb out of their predicament. But when you fall into a small pit, you find it hard to get out."
"Others can rely on you, but you have no one to rely on. Actually, when you are seen as a beacon of light by your classmates, leading them, you are brave and strong."
"But when you are alone, you are not strong. When you are by yourself, you are just an ordinary high school girl."
Not long ago, Yukio had analyzed his own "delicate heart," and now he began to analyze Ichinose's inner self.
His words, gentle as spring rain, gradually opened up Ichinose's long-sealed memories. She recalled the six months she spent shut in at home.
Just as Yukio had said, when she was alone, she wasn't strong. She was lonely and unable to do anything.
Under Yukio's warm tone and encouraging gaze, Ichinose, like a lost cub in a rainy forest, still held a trace of fear: "Can someone like me really be allowed to rely on others?"
Her expression, filled with the fear of a young animal, suggested that if Yukio denied her, she would immediately flee in embarrassment, distancing herself from everyone and everything, hiding in an unreachable, secluded place.
"I allow it. I will bear it." Yukio's movements grew gentler as he slowly moved closer, leaning against Ichinose, their heads touching.
There wasn't a trace of romance, only a calming atmosphere surrounding them both.
"That was when I was in the third year of middle school..." Ichinose leaned against Yukio, her expression a mix of pain and relief, her emotions complex. Her voice fluctuated like a minstrel's ballad as she recounted her past mistakes.
"We come from a single-parent family. My mom had to work three jobs to support my sister and me. It was really, really tough."
"Neither my sister nor I ever complained. We believed that even if things were tight, as long as the three of us could be happy together, that was all that mattered."
"Mom was really good to us." At this point, Ichinose's voice began to quiver with tears, whether from recalling her mother's struggles or the pain of her own mistakes hurting her mother.
Yukio sighed silently. Who could remain indifferent in such a situation? He gently pressed his head against hers, offering silent comfort, allowing Ichinose to continue recalling her painful mistake.
"But last summer, just before my sister's birthday, Mom unexpectedly fell ill and was hospitalized. My sister was really looking forward to this birthday."
"Every year, when Mom saved enough money, she would celebrate our birthdays. It was the one time of year we were truly happy. Maybe because her hopes for the year were dashed, my sister, for the first time, angrily argued at Mom's bedside."
"She had been eagerly anticipating a butterfly hairpin for a whole year, but now, because of the high medical bills, it wouldn't happen."
"Mom, with such tenderness, apologized to my sister, saying it was her fault. If she hadn't fallen ill, she would have been able to buy the gift and make her happy on her birthday."
Yukio, his head resting against Ichinose's, listened to her story, gradually understanding why Ichinose was so kind.
Perhaps only under the guidance of such a responsible and gentle mother could someone as beautiful as Ichinose blossom.
Then, Ichinose's voice began to lower, hinting at the tragic outcome: "No matter how much Mom apologized, my sister was still upset. The disappointment of a year's worth of anticipation unfulfilled, combined with Mom's weak and pale face..."
"It made me... I couldn't hold back. We had endured for so long. I thought, for my sister's happiness and for Mom to have peace of mind while recovering, we would be forgiven, right? With that thought, I went to the store my sister had been dreaming of."
"When no one was paying attention, I slipped the butterfly hairpin into my bag and quickly moved away. Seeing my sister's joyful expression when she received the gift, I felt the enormous guilt pressing on my heart lessen a lot."
"In the end, Mom found out. That was the first time she got angry..." Ichinose subconsciously raised her hand to touch her cheek.
She clearly remembered the pain of being slapped by her mother. The physical pain on her cheek was long forgotten, but the scars etched in her heart would never fade with time.
"So, with that, Mom, who should have been resting in the hospital, took the hairpin, pulled out her IV, and dragged her sick body to take me to that store."
Yukio felt Ichinose's tears because their faces were so close. The tears flowing from the corner of Ichinose's eyes also touched Yukio's face.
"When Mom brought me to that store... returned the hairpin, and knelt down humbly to apologize, I realized I was wrong. I had made such a heavy, heavy mistake!"
"Mom fainted from exhaustion, and my sister, upon learning the gift was stolen, angrily rebuked me. No matter how I tried to excuse myself, I couldn't escape my guilt."
Recalling her past, Ichinose felt the guilt rise again from deep within her heart, like a heart-eating demon, forcing her to curl up even more: "Yukio-kun, how could someone like me be forgiven?"
"Such a heavy mistake, I... I..." Ichinose closed her eyes, trying to stop the continuous flow of tears.
Even with her eyes closed, the tears broke through, leaving two clear tracks on Ichinose's beautiful cheeks.
It was like an angel crying silently, her pristine wings tainted by the only blemish, adding a slight imperfection to her otherwise pure self.
"Why can't you be forgiven?" Yukio finally spoke. Since Ichinose had finished her confession, there was no need for him to remain silent any longer.
What he needed to do now was to wash away the stain and erase the blemish.
"The one who has been troubling you all this time is you, Ichinose. You were forgiven long ago."
"Whether it's the store manager, your mother, or your sister, I'm sure they've all forgiven you."
***
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