Bab 5: Bribes... And Enter the Dungeon.
A.N. How am I doing with this story so far?
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(General POV)
Ptah groaned as he opened his eyes and reached around to the back of his head. For some reason it really hurt. Probably from all the craziness of that weird dream he'd had. Somehow, out of his pathetic loneliness, he'd managed to dream up a tall boy in weird, glowing magic armour show up to his store and ask to join his Familia.
Said boy then allowed himself to be marked with with Ptah's Falna and all of a sudden a tidal wave of what felt like something resemblant of Excelia began to pile out of the boy's body and end up getting sucked in by the Falna. When he'd finally gotten around to check the boy's status, he'd apparently become a level 9 right there on the spot.
...Perhaps he'd been too obsessed over work lately and it was getting to him. He couldn't let the other gods ever find out about such an embarrassing dream. Already they Teased him to no end because of how much of a child he looked despite the fact that he was as ancient as Ouranos, if not possibly more so.
Like any powerful individual like that would give him the time of day, let alone come to his little grotto and ask to be a part of his Familia. Pulling the covers over his body, he settled deeper into the soft mattress, willing himself to go back to sleep so he could get up for work in the morning...
Wait...MATTRESS?...COVERS?
The only form of bedding he owned was a straw mat and a rolled up rug for a pillow.
Ptah jolted up in bed and looked around the unfamiliar room. No wait, this room was familiar since the outside of his window was exactly the same. Even though it was night out, the view was exactly the same...but what happened to his room?
Ptah was currently tucked into a large red bed that he certainly didn't remember owning.
The crumbling, stone brick walls had been replaced by white concrete, and the gritty floor was gone. In it's place were dark wooden planks and by the strange bed he was laying on was a red carpet next to which were his sandals. Ptah took another glance around the room, noticing bits of furniture he knew for a fact the he did not own previously, like a Chester draw and a closet. There was also a reading desk and a shelf upon which was his cactus plant.
Ptah threw off the covers and slipped into his sandals before rushing towards a door (which had not been there before either as all his rooms just had big holes as doorways), flinging it open and staring into an unfamiliar hallway. The same white concrete and dark oak planks replaced the walls and the floor. The edges of the tunnel were also more evened out to be shaped exactly like a rectangle instead of the rabbit-hole decor he was used to.
The same red carpet ran down along the hallway, which he ran across. As he passed by doors, he flung them open to find the same rooms with his stations and his tools in, but just different as everything had undergone a complete transformation.
He eventually came to the front of the grotto where he kept his statues to be sold, and burst in just at the right time to catch the same boy from his dream heave a statue into a room that had not existed there previously and them slam that door close. On the boy's bare back was the symbol of Ptah's Falna, a great bull with wide horns, between each of which was an ankh. Proudly written across the bull's forehead was 'Level 9' while the boy's stats were written on the bull's cheeks.
Steve turned around to greet him.
"Oh hey, Ptah! Just finished up here. The grotto was looking quite dingy and unkempt you know. Since I know a thing or two about DIY and thought since I'll be living here, I might as well just fix everything up and give the whole place some much needed maintenance." Steve gestured to the communal area of the grotto. "So? What do you think?"
The entire room had been changed. Where it had just been one great room of plain stone roof and walls and a bunch of statues inside, now it had marble walls and the same dark oak wood planks. On the ceiling hung a chandelier in which there were lit candles. To one side of the front door which was the only thing kept the same, was a new countertop over which they were to do business. All the tunnels that had led elsewhere into the grotto that Ptah had carved out of the the thickest part of the city wall were now sealed by heavy looking doors.
"Did you do all this? In just a few hours?" Ptah asked, not believing his eyes.
"A couple of hours actually. Sunset was not too long ago. But meh, it's not that impressive. I'll improve on it later during daylight hours when I have time." Steve waved the ordeal off before looking like he remembered something and pulled a waddle of papers from out of his...nowhere.
It literally looked like he'd pulled them out of thin air.
"I was supposed to give you these after you gave me your Falna, but you kind of tapped out and fell asleep." Steve shoved the papers into Ptah's limp hands. "They're tax declarations or something that you have to sign before I go into the dungeon."
"...It was not a dream..." Ptah mumbled.
"Of course it wasn't." Steve raised an eyebrow. "I'm here, talking to you aren't I?"
"Just what the hell are you?!" Ptah exclaimed. "First there was that fiasco about you being Level 9 all of a sudden apparently without ever having gone into the dungeon and now you've magicked up an entire renovation project of my home!"
"I've also mined out another portion of the wall to convert it into my own store one day." Steve said casually like Ptah wasn't talking about something of a great deal. "Oh and by the way, I found your loan documents while I was cleaning up." Steve pointed to the counter where another bunch of papers were. "I have to say that you chose some really dodgy people to take money from. I paid them a quick visit before I got started and bartered some items in place of your debt." For some reason Steve was exaggeratedly nodding even though Ptah detected no lie. "They won't be bothering you again, I promise."
...
"I-I...just...how..." Ptah spluttered.
"Let's talk about it in the kitchen. I've cooked up some dinner for us." Steve put a hand on Ptah's back and guided him to the kitchen where Ptah could only now just smell a wonderful aroma. So many newsbombs had been dropped on him, all he could do was numbly nod and follow direction. When Steve opened the door to the kitchen, Ptah was greeted by the sight of a giant black wolf tearing apart meat inside a giant bowl and chowing them down.
Ptah screamed like a little girl, dropping the papers in his hand and scrabbling to climb atop Steve's head.
"WHAT KIND OF HELLSPAWN IS THAT?!" Ptah yelled.
"Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you earlier about her, but this is Bathsheba. She's my mount and I got a permit to bring her in the city today. I'll be taking her on regular dungeon runs and while she's here, she can act as some kind of security for the house. Is that okay?" Steve said with even more infuriating casualness.
"SHOULDN'T YOU BE TELLING ME THIS 'BEFORE' YOU BRING IT INTO MY HOUSE?!!!" Ptah yelled, refusing to get down from Steve's shoulders even as the gamer tried to pull him down.
"You were kind of unconscious so I didn't get the chance." Steve managed to rip the boy off his head and plop him down on a chair in front of a plate of food. Steve took a seat across him while handing him a fork and knife which were ones Ptah couldn't remember ever purchasing. "Eat up."
Ptah eyed him even as Steve began to take mouthfuls and self gratifying himself with moans of pleasure while Ptah didn't even take a bite. Eventually Steve noticed and cocked his head in a questioning manner.
"Explain." Ptah ordered, simply.
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(1 Hour Later)
"So that's the gist of it." Steve said. They were both standing in the communal area at the front of the grotto where he was demonstrating to his god the workings of his power.
"I see." Ptah replied as he stared at the gold block and diamond blocks on the floor. His eyes then flicked over to an armour stand which beheld Steve's netherite armour in all of its glowing glory. Ptah put his head in his hands and groaned. "Not even a few hours and you're already causing me headache."
"Can't be that bad, right?" Steve asked.
"It is that bad!" Ptah snapped. "For two years now I've been ridiculed and mocked for not having a Familia member in addition to being steeped in debt and for being short while living in a hole. Now not only do I have a Familia member, but he's also somehow broken all parameters of the Falna without having even gone into the dungeon, and he's currently the highest level adventurer in the world at the moment even though he has nor record of any feats behind him. Not only that, my debts are cleared up and my grotto looks more like an inn at this point without the room service and the extra beds." Ptah huffed breathlessly. "The only thing that hasn't changed is my height! How do you think I'm going to explain all of this?"
"You won't have to." Steve smiled. "The fat old man that runs the Guild loves money more than anything else doesn't he? We can just ask him to keep my information under wraps and there's no problem is there. As for the house and the debt, everyone seems to think I'm a noble or a prince so they'll think I just splashed the cash to appease you. You don't need to worry that little head of yours." Steve rubbed Ptah's shaven head like he was consoling a little boy. "Everything will be alright."
"Stop treating me like a kid." Ptah slapped Steve's hand away. "I'm a god for heaven's sake. I should be treated with respect! I, the Great Ptah, one of the elders of one of the oldest pantheons to exist in this world should be treated with reverence and respect."
"You don't appear to be someone that easily commands it." Steve commented before he looked towards the newly built room where he'd stored all those horrible statues. "I don't blame anyone for it, if you sell statues like that."
"HAH?!!!" Ptah exclaimed in a challenging half sneer. "You got something to say about my masterpieces pal?!"
"First off, you can't have that many masterpieces otherwise no distinction can be made between your works. And second, they're not art, they're items that should be destroyed."
"What!"
"They literally look like statues that have some curse placed upon them. Is it any wonder why people run away from the grotto whenever they come in?"
"Sculpting is the best of all crafting professions, Steve." Ptah snapped. "It's the only way through which you can express your state of mind and gouge the true depths of one's character. I have a passion for this business, and I'm not going to let you bash it even if you are my first child!"
"If those depict your state of mind and depth of character, then it's safe to say that it's a blessing I was the first to connect with you." Steve commented as he put his hands behind his head. "I've got time to rehabilitate you before others join in."
"Do you intend on insulting me as much as possible before 24 hours go by?!" Ptah yelled. "Besides, I'd like to see what your state of mind is like with that 'Tongue of the Laws' skill you have."
"Huh? What about it?"
"Not telling." Ptah folded his arms and turned his face away while wrinkling his nose.
"Come on, just tell me. Isn't it your job to tell me about the contents of my Falna if I don't know them?"
"Says who?" Ptah looked at him and stuck his tongue out. "Besides, you should have thought about that before dropping all those smart cracks about me."
"And you wonder why the other gods treat you like a child?"
"Hmph." Ptah huffed and looked away again only to meet the the face of Bathsheba who had crept up behind him, startling the boy god out of his skin as he jumped back into Steve arm's. "You bastard! Getting your dog to do your dirty work for you? That's an all-time kind of low!"
Bathsheba didn't like the dog comment clearly and began growling lowly. But even though it was a low growl, it rattled the chandelier and the statues inside the statue room.
"First off, she's a Warg, so don't insult her by calling her a dog unless you really want to be sent back to Heaven." Steve said grimly as he dropped Ptah on his butt. "And second, you're being unreasonable. I know my powers sure, but I'm not sure which of them applies to some of the skills in that list. Come on you have to tell me."
"(sigh) You really want to know?" Ptah said as he stood up. "To be honest I don't completely understand it either."
"What?"
Ptah began to stretch as he talked to Steve with one eye open.
"Back when I had my Arcanum, I was able to weave things into existence by my speech alone." Ptah sighed again as he dropped his arms and tried clicking his back by bending backwards. "That skill does the same but instead of creation, it just induces...change I think. A whole lot of numbers, symbols and lines were involved like someone writing it out, I'm not sure. It's pretty weird but whatever it is, it's clear that it conveys your will under specific conditions and manipulates the target off effect to your will. It's utter blasphemy in other words, a power that mortals shouldn't have." Ptah threw up his arms in surrender as he couldn't explain it better.
But Steve immediately realized what he was talking about.
'He must be talking about commands.'
"Oh, well, I suggest we go to bed now. We'll both go to the guild tomorrow to consult with the Guild Master. Perhaps we can come to an agreement on how we can hide my status for the time being so you can adjust."
"Sure." Ptah replied as he began heading to a specific door. "Let me line my sculptures out for sale tomorrow."
"AH AH AH NO!!!" Steve said as he grabbed Ptah's hand in a vice grip. "No more statues okay?!"
"WHY?!!!"
"Because they're terrible. We've been losing customers all this time and I intend to do business as well. I won't have you chasing and frightening off our customers because of your creepy disturbing projects!"
"But sculpting is the best!"
"You are the worst at it!"
"Let me go!"
"No! Stick to smithing instead!"
"There's already two smithing Familia, why would anybody want to buy from us?"
"Because our weapons will be unique." Steve lifted Ptah off his feet as the god kicked and struggled. "You can forge them while I enchant them as well as create other accessories. We'll also do potions as well. It'll be a great big magic related business."
"You're inviting trouble to our door with all that. Your crazy nonsensical items will only confuse people and everyone will be starting to ask questions. I thought you wanted to keep a low profile huh? Why don't you let us have our niche and let me do sculpting?"
"Because they're horrible! And anyways, my business plan is what will entice people to us and when the bombshell does drop that I'm level 9, it won't hit them as hard when they see I can do crazy stuff."
"So much for keeping it under wraps!"
"I don't mind going out now about it. I'm only staying quiet for you but eventually it will go public. People will find out one way or another so why procrastinate?"
"You're twisted." Ptah spat. "Even if I were to do forging, where the hell would I get materials?"
Steve cocked an eyebrow before gesturing to all the different blocks he'd conjured to demonstrate his powers to Ptah.
"In ingots dingus! How am I supposed to melt those down?"
Steve insta-mined the blocks and dropped ingots in their place of iron and steel.
"No more argument, no more statues until you actually get good at it." Steve said. "Besides, do you really think they would amaze Hephaestus?"
"W-what are you talking about?" Ptah's cheeks flushed red.
"I saw the tiny sculpture of her in your bedroom. Surprisingly it's the only normal sculpt you've ever done it seems. It looks like someone has a crush on the greatest smithing goddess in the world." Steve grinned mischievously.
"Shut up! Who said you can go snooping around in my room?"
"Me, myself and I."
The rest of the night was spent bickering back and forth before Bathsheba lay in front of the storage door and all of a sudden Ptah had no desire to step over a sleeping wolf into the room. Just like that was the first night god and child spent getting to know one another.
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(Next Day)
"So as you can see, it would be really helpful if you didn't publicize this. Could you do us this favour please Royman?" Ptah pleaded to the fat elf behind the desk.
Royman Mardeel peered at Ptah over his reading spectacles before looking at the status sheet again. He then glanced over to Steve who was bare chested again but this time, Eina was inspecting the blessing on his back with wide- twitching eyes as she couldn't believe what she was staring at.
"And this is all completely genuine?" Royman asked.
"As real as the sky." Steve said, not looking at all happy about the situation.
"Well truth be told Lord Ptah, I don't really see any point in concealing this information. As a matter of fact it would be a wonderful thing. After 16 years, we finally have a level 9 again in the city after the demise of the Hera Familia captain." Royman held his arms open. "It should be a cause for celebration, not to mention it would be great publicity."
"A tragedy more-like." Ptah said. "Come on, just don't sign the approval of publication Guild Master. I don't want any of the other gods coming and knocking on my door demanding War Games. I like my peace and I'd like for it to be kept that way for as long as possible. Please?"
"Well, procedure must be adhered to." Royman put the status sheet down and leaned back in his chair as he held an arm in the air like he were about to impart some great piece of wisdom. "Every adventurer walking around with a Falna upon their back is a living super weapon. You realise that not only is this a city of adventurers but civilians too who need to be kept aware of the power structure in the Dungeon City. Publishing information like this is also good practice as it encourages competition and incentive for other adventurers to better themselves. As such, it is upon me to make sure that all adventurers' details is hung up on the ann-" Royman was cut off as a sack fell on his table, bulging before the cord ripped open and out fell a few shining gold ingots with much more still in the bag. Royman looked over at at Steve who just looked back at him flatly.
Royman coughed and polished his reading spectacles. "...It would seem that on the day I was supposed to sign the approval of publication of the details of one 'Stephen Hewer, I had a little mishap in paper work, and the particular document needed to be signed by my hand in regards to him mysteriously vanished in the confusion."
Royman held a certain piece of paper he picked up from his desk and held it over a candle as he was talking. They watched as the candle flame burned the paper away to ash before the Guild Master shook his hand and cleared his throat again. He pushed a Guild Card forward showing Steve's membership.
"Welcome to Orario Mr Hewer. I trust you will enjoy your time here. You are a promising individual and I will watch your career with great interest."
"Thank you Guild Master." Ptah said. "I believe we shall take our leave now."
Steve nodded with great enthusiasm and shrugged off the still-starstruck Eina off his back before equipping his armour again. He picked up his ID card from Royman's desk and left the room following behind Ptah.
"Eina!" Royman said.
The half-elf was snapped out her shocked trance by her boss's voice. "Yes sir!"
"You will report that boy's actions to me every time he comes back to you. Even if he was not happy about it, you are his monitor since you made witness to his citizenship claim. Now return to your duties at once!"
"Yes sir!" Eina bowed swiftly before hurriedly leaving the room.
Royman leaned back in his chair and smiled in satisfaction as he took one of the large gold ingots and admired his reflection in them. He could hear his desk creaking under the weight of the others and smiled even wider at his fortune. The smile fell from his face though as he remembered something and he grimly put the ingot down in favour of picking up a quill and paper.
"I can hide this from the citizens...but I cannot hide this from MY boss. How will Lord Ouranos opt to deal with this stranger I wonder?" Royman leaned back a little to look out his window in order to see the boy and his god meet up with a giant wolf outside. "I even allowed him to take that beast in the dungeon with him. Just what more will you be adding to this city Mr Hewer in addition to everything else that adventurers everywhere are putting into the pot? I guess only time will tell."
Royman sighed and looked at his ceiling. "Perhaps I should retire soon. I'm getting too old to deal with surprises like this." He then looked back at the gold ingots in the sack twinkling in the light of the sun and his smile returned. "On second thoughts, a couple more decades should be alright."
---
"We are finally in the Dungeon, sweetheart!" Steve exclaimed as he and his Warg stepped off the spiral staircase into the first floor of the dungeon. He'd told Ptah that he would keep going deeper into the dungeon until he got bored or until he couldn't go any further. When he was done, he would just use 'Spectator Mode' or something and get out of there.
It had only been one day and Ptah was already so fed up of him that he readily accepted that announcement. Probably because of all the horrible things they'd been saying to each other. Ptah was just salty he couldn't handle modern comebacks and found himself cremated at every turn in their roast battle. That was probably why.
"Now!" Steve pulled out a map and unfolded it as he studied it with Bathsheba looking over his shoulder. "Let's get to diving!"
He'd put on a new addition to his attire. Hanging over his enchanted Netherite gear was his Minecraft cape...depicting the face of the Ender Dragon. And contrary to what it looked like in game...it was wicked looking in real life. Made the Bastard Cheater wonder what would happen...when he eventually spawned in the real thing. Or even better, modded versions of it.
Only time would tell. Because right now, the Ptah Familia which consisted of one man and one wolf, was not the only Familia in the Dungeon. Oh, this was where Steve's story really started to roll.
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