Bab 20: ... can we start over?

Hae-won cried because of the feeling he had bottled up in his heart. He was mad at Baek-Hyun for what he did but he couldn't voice it out.

Why? He just couldn't.

The one who was behind the offence didn't care to apologise so what difference would it make even if he voiced his thoughts?

Now that he was drunk, he couldn't keep it in and just let it out. It was painful getting humiliated like that.

"Why did you humiliate me like that?" He asked as he cried. "Is it because you hate me? Is it because you see me as a pushover? I'm a beta, so what? I'm a person with feelings too, you know?"

Baek-Hyun was short of words. What could he say? Hae-won was crying so much right in front of him and it was all because of him.

"Hey." He called out. "Don't be like this." He tried to calm him down but Hae-won retaliated with his entire body.

"No, you, don't be like this." He kicked him in the guts and Baek-Hyun groaned in pain. "I hate that you're so rich and you look down on me. It's not my fault I became a beta." He kept hitting and Baek-Hyun took it all till it got too much.

"Hey, you're beating me up already, isn't that enough?" Baek-Hyun asked and Hae-won stared at him, teary eyed.

"But you still haven't said the word." He said.

"What word?"

"You still haven't apologised properly. You humiliated me, wah!" He started crying again. "You don't even like me so why bother with me?"

"But I do like you." Baek-Hyun suddenly said and Hae-won paused.

"What?"

"When have I ever said that I don't like you?" How was that possible?

"But you… you… you kept glaring at me and kept doing all these awful things to me. You hate me." He insisted and it got Baek-Hyun thinking.

'Did I go too far?' He thought and narrowed his eyes. 'Will he remember this tomorrow? He's really drunk.'

"Baek-Hyun hates the sight of me." Hae-won cried.

"I don't hate you." Baek-Hyun said, trying to calm him by lightly patting his back. "I was just upset that you forgot about me." He added.

"I forgot you? But I don't think we've met before." He sniffed and Baek-Hyun handed him a hanky.

"Well, it's likely that after what I did, you decided to forget about me but to the extent where you can't remember me at all? I guess I really did hurt you." He smiled bitterly.

"What did you do?" Hae-won asked, sincerely wanting to find out and Baek-Hyun looked up at him.

"I crossed the line, Hyung." He suddenly took his hand and rested his face on it. "I did something really bad to Hyung and it truly hurt you."

Seeing Baek-Hyun like this, Hae-won suddenly sobered up.

'Did he just call me Hyung?' He thought and blushed.

It was true that he was older than him by a year but to the extent that he'd call him Hyung? They weren't even that close. But according to how he was acting, it was evident that they knew each other a long time ago.

"Are you sober?" Baek-Hyun asked and Hae-won nodded.

"You, who are you?" Hae-won asked but it sounded stupid so he changed the question. "I don't remember much of my past up till last year because I had an accident and it made me forget a lot of things." He inched closer. "So tell me, were you and I acquainted in the past?"

'He got into an accident.' Baek-Hyun repeated in his mind. So that was why he didn't recognize him. He lowered his head and laughed.

It was alright. If he couldn't remember the past, it was okay. Thay could just remake their memories but only the good ones and leave the bad ones behind. He wouldn't have to remember what happened that night.

Baek-Hyun looked up and met Hae-won's expectant eyes and he said,

"You and I, we were middle school and high school classmates and we were also best friends." He said and Hae-won's eyes shot wide in disbelief.

"For real? So you and I were like, super close?" Baek-Hyun nodded.

"But we weren't just close, we weren't just best friends either, we had a special connection." He interlocked their fingers together. "We were never away from each other."

Hae-won looked at their hands in the interlocked formation. Something about it felt unclear. If they indeed were as close as he claimed, why did their connection break? Why did they lose contact for so long?

Did something happen between them that had to result in that? If not, why did he leave his best friend, whom he claimed to have a special connection with, to struggle till his bones would fall. It didn't make sense.

Was it the fate of a Beta to never have a lasting relationship with an Alpha?

"So Hyung," Baek-Hyun called, holding up his hand to his mouth. "... Can we start over? I want it to be how it used to."

'What exactly does he mean by that? It doesn't sound as simple as he says!' Hae-won thought, biting down on his bottom lip.

"You'll hurt yourself." Baek-Hyun said, referring to his lip he was biting hard on.

Hae-won felt cringe. What was this? Just yesterday, Baek-Hyun treated him like he was a stone wall that kept blocking his way but now, he was being so caring and attentive. It was hard to believe a person could change so fast.

"Baek-Hyun, are you messing with me?" He asked and Baek-Hyun stared for a while before letting out a sigh.

"Sorry. My actions so far are the reason you're doubting my words now, aren't they?" Hae-won didn't respond. "Well, we'll stop here for today." He said and started getting up. "I'm sorry that you felt humiliated by what I did. I truly am."

Hae-won watched as he left to his room and he looked down at his hand. Baek-Hyun just kissed his hand. What in the world was going on?

Hae-won has one hell of a connection with Alphas. Is there any other Alpha out there he had to look out for? Someone might just walk up to him and say they know him yet he'd have no recollection of it.

"But why can't I remember a thing concerning Baek-Hyun?" Hae-won asked himself.

He was able to remember Woo-Bin so why couldn't he remember Baek-Hyun? This just made him doubt his words more but would a man suddenly start spouting lies like that? What would he gain?

'Maybe Hae-won is intentionally shutting away the memories of Baek-Hyun.'

He opened up another can of beer and gulped it down. It was exhausting to think about things. He should just drink it all away.

The next morning, Hae-won woke up with dark eye bags, a splitting headache and a troubled mind.

"What did I do?"