Bab 11: Snow Girl
It was a beautiful night, under the moon.
"…When I was a child. I admired being a hero of justice."
Abruptly, my foster father, Emiya Kiritsugu, began to speak of such things.
It happened five years ago. It was our last conversation, the one with my father who saved me from hell.
A great fire engulfed Fuyuki City.
Hundreds of people were burned alive, and my family, my home, my friends—everything was buried in that dreadful past.
Naturally, I was caught up in it. I wandered through the flames, my body burning from the heat, my throat destroyed by smoke. I should have died there.
Even if I escaped the fiery hell, I was already a wreck. My body burned by flames, my heart cursed like a dead person—everything had long been broken and lost its meaning. I remember faintly feeling as if I saw the white-dyed sky and wondered if it would rain.
And then, it was there that Kiritsugu saved me.
How he saved me when I was on the brink of death, I don't know. But before I knew it, I found myself lying in a hospital bed.
The man who appeared shortly after, the one who saved me. He awkwardly told me he was a magician, and I ended up being taken in by him.
Living with Kiritsugu, who became my foster father, was very enjoyable. Even though I had forgotten what it meant to have a normal life, I can confidently say that those times were happier than average.
He would occasionally disappear, only to return and tell me exciting tales of his adventures. He became close to Kiritsugu, and over time, she started taking care of me like an older sister.
The neighbors, who knew about my situation, were always kind to me.
Surrounded by such people, I lived a life that was similar to everyone else's, but also a little different. I thought those days would continue forever.
"Heroes are temporary. It becomes difficult to call oneself that when you grow up."
At some point, little by little, Kiritsugu's condition began to worsen.
It wasn't an illness. It wasn't an injury. Despite the unknown cause, Emiya Kiritsugu was undeniably heading towards death.
It was too young to call it his lifespan, but there was no other way to describe it. The vitality had disappeared from the Kiritsugu of that time. It was as if he had reached some kind of enlightenment. As if he no longer had a purpose to live, or so it seemed.
Even as a child, I must have sensed my father's impending death. During that time, I often found myself being with him without saying anything.
If I said I wasn't sad, it would be a lie. To me, who had lost my parents, Kiritsugu was the only father figure I had, and he was also a cool hero of justice.
Despite being a father, he couldn't do household chores and honestly, he was unreliable. But even so, Kiritsugu was my role model. He was the most admirable person in the world, someone I could be proud of.
"...I wish I had realized it sooner."
Kiritsugu sighed and weakly smiled. I remember feeling inexplicably angry when I saw that.
Kiritsugu was my hero. He saved the child who was supposed to die. He was the person who rejoiced in the fact that I was alive as if it were his own achievement. He embraced me, a heavily wounded child, with his large hands and took me out of that hell.
I admired that smile.
It was because it looked so genuinely happy. I even thought that it wasn't me who was saved, but him.
Thank you for staying alive.
I'm glad I was saved.
I should be the one expressing gratitude. Yet, Kiritsugu smiled as if he was genuinely grateful to me, from the bottom of his heart.
I was the only one who was saved.
Everyone else, in the burnt wasteland. In a world where no one was supposed to be saved, I was the only one who was saved.
If I was saved, then I must save others. It was only natural for my empty heart to think that.
That's why I decided to become that kind of person. A hero of justice like him, a great ideal hero. Even if it was just a pipe dream, even if it was just a child's imagination. I swore to become that no matter what.
My foster father, who saved me, said, "I couldn't become a hero of justice." It felt somewhat empty. That's why I made up my mind. I would become a hero of justice and fulfill precious dreams in his place.
Before I could declare that, Kiritsugu closed his eyes. His expression, which would never move again, had a faint smile.
That was the beginning of Emiya Shirou. A fleeting dream born from determination and admiration of a young boy.
＊＊＊
"────"
I had a nostalgic dream.
How many years has it been since I last had that dream? It's been a while since I dreamt of my father. I can't remember when I last saw it; it feels like a distant memory.
Perhaps it's because of the resolution I made after yesterday's incident. I remembered why Emiya Shirou fights, in my dream.
──Because I admired that smile, I wanted to become like that.
Yes, that's all that resides in my heart. With that goal in mind, I can keep running no matter where.
"...But first, I need to end this Holy Grail War."
To be a hero of justice.
That's what I'm supposed to be aiming for. But what does that definition truly signify? I still haven't found the answer. Thoughts of numerous people's ideals come to mind, the ones where the weak are helped and the strong are defeated. That could be one of the answers, but it's not a complete one. However, I can say this much: a hero of justice is someone who helps those in need.
And... in the present moment. Even now, there are people suffering from unreasonable hardships and struggling.
If it happens within the realm of daily life, within the boundaries of the ordinary, it's still acceptable. As long as the world remains imperfect, we cannot deny or reject the troubles that can occur in our daily lives. If we were to eliminate even that, our lives, no, the world itself would become a meaningless backdrop.
──However, I firmly reject going against common sense, defying the principles of the world, and facing an incomprehensible and irresistible force of absurdity. Such a force is caused by none other than the desires of people.
In this fifth Holy Grail War, the participants gathered in pursuit of the Holy Grail do not hesitate to sacrifice others. They are selfish and self-centered magi who don't mind involving numerous individuals to obtain the Holy Grail.
Leaving such people alone would lead to a repetition of the tragedy from ten years ago. That is something I absolutely cannot tolerate.
That's why I will fight. I will stop the "enemy" who seeks to obtain the Holy Grail at the cost of involving and sacrificing others, even if it means defeating them.
"Well then, time to get up."
I get up from my futon and slap my cheeks to psyche myself up.
It's still school time today, but unlike yesterday, I have something to do. It's a daunting task beyond my capabilities—to break the school's boundary field.
To clarify, it's not about destroying the actual boundary itself. That boundary can only be broken by something of equal or greater conceptual power. In other words, it requires the use of magic or Noble Phantasms. Neither Archer nor Saber can use such Noble Phantasms.
However, we can destroy the branches of the boundary. Specifically, it means targeting the foundational points that make up the boundary.
Just as a house requires a foundation when being built, creating a boundary also requires a foundation. Even if we destroy one or two of the branches when the entire structure has already been completed, it won't have much impact. However, it can delay the activation of the boundary. For us who want to buy even a little time, it's a desperate measure we can rely on.
Tohsaka mentioned that I seem to have an unusually sensitive body to abnormalities in the world. Therefore, during my free time, I was asked to explore the school and identify as many foundational points as possible.
Even though they are branches, they are still enveloped in mysteries that normal individuals cannot reach. But according to Tohsaka, she can destroy them to a certain extent. It was decided that I would locate the foundational points, and Tohsaka would be responsible for their destruction. This division of labor will be put into action starting today.
However, this method is not without its problems. By destroying parts of the boundary, our actions will undoubtedly be noticed by the mage who constructed the boundary. Once they become aware that someone is obstructing them, it wouldn't be strange for them to take some form of action.
Our aim lies there. We turn the disadvantage of being exposed into an advantage by using it to provoke the hidden enemy. If they move towards us in this situation where we don't know who the enemy is, it will work in our favor. We can certainly find ample opportunities to take advantage of their actions.
"I don't know who you are, but I'll drag you out─"
And there's another advantage. I, as the Master, can be an effective weapon in the battle of information.
I'm an amateur magus who can barely perform the basics of magecraft. I don't possess inherited magic crests passed down through generations or intricate magic circuits. I can't even generate magical energy sufficiently.
In other words, I don't emit magical energy to the extent that I appear as nothing more than an ordinary person to magi. In fact, not even Tohsaka realized that I am not just a Master but a magus as well. Well, it was only after Tohsaka pointed it out that I realized I wasn't emitting any magical energy.
Putting that aside for now, even if Tohsaka couldn't see through it, it's highly unlikely that the Masters lurking in the school would think I am involved in the Holy Grail War. In this situation where they don't know who the enemy is, if they make a move on their own accord, it would be a cause for celebration. We can surely find ample opportunities to exploit their vulnerabilities.
"Although, it's unnecessary to worry. It's Tohsaka, after all."
After confirming that Tohsaka had left, I start moving my feet. I walk in the opposite direction of Tohsaka, down the stairs, and the main entrance comes into view. Naturally, there's no one left at the entrance.
According to the information from Fujimura-nee this morning, due to complaints from parents regarding recent gas leaks and missing person incidents, the school has instructed students to go home early and temporarily suspended club activities. As a result, the moment school is over, students disappear from the school grounds. Not just students, even the teachers go home early. Except for me, there's hardly anyone left in the school at this point. Since I don't have a Servant with me now, the risk of being attacked as a Master is low, but it's still better to go home early.
I pass through the front entrance and start walking, casting a sidelong glance at the setting sun, which is beginning to cast shadows. It's still early considering the time, but due to winter, the sunset comes early. The chilly wind that pierces my cheeks is a sign that night is approaching.
"Hmm?"
As I was about to leave the school grounds, I caught something strange in my peripheral vision. I turn my head sideways to catch a glimpse of a figure crossing in the distance. Even at this hour, I wonder why that person is here... but there's no mistaking that distinctive bluish hair.
"That's... Shinji?"
Walking confidently towards the archery range, that figure unmistakably belongs to my friend, Matou Shinji.
He seems unaware of my presence and shows no signs of turning towards me. His profile, visible from a distance, seems somewhat displeased.
"Did he forget something or...?"
According to the instructions from the school, students should be going home early due to recent incidents of gas leaks and disappearances. The only possible reason for Shinji to come back would be if he forgot something. Unlike me, he is still a member of the archery club. I've heard various unpleasant rumors, but he should still be continuing his archery practice in his own way.
──But for some reason, it's bothering me. There's a sense of unease in this otherwise ordinary scenery.
I change the direction of my steps, diverting from heading towards the schoolyard. I decide to follow Shinji while hiding in the bushes.
It appears that my assumption was correct, as Shinji's destination seems to be the archery range. His footsteps confidently lead him there, clearly indicating a purpose behind his visit.
I continue to trail him, making sure to stay hidden, as he walks straight into the archery range. I can't follow him inside since it would risk revealing my presence, so I find a hiding spot near the entrance, where I won't make any noise.
...But. To my surprise, my suspicious friend returns to the entrance within less than a minute. Unlike when he entered, he wears a pleasant smile on his face.
"Hmm?"
It's too early for him to have retrieved something he forgot. And just like when he entered, Shinji is empty-handed.
Unaware of my presence in the bushes, Shinji walks towards the school gate. I strain my eyes to observe his actions, but there doesn't seem to be anything unusual. Even though no one else is around, he acts as if he's already aware of it.
"What... is this!?"
It was literally another world.
An uncomfortably strange feeling.
Dense air that induces nausea.
Stagnant humidity that brings about a sense of disgust.
And above all else, the smell is completely different. This sickly sweet, clinging odor that slips around is far from ordinary. Just standing in a place like this makes me feel sick.
The pillars of the archery range. There's no mistaking what is drawn on the wooden surface. After all, I saw it with my own eyes just thirty minutes ago.
That bizarre inscription is the proof of the extraordinary intruding into everyday life. It is one of the curse seals that make up the school's boundary.
＊＊＊
Walking with my head down in the midst of the evening city.
I'm aware that I'm heading for shopping, but I can't accurately perceive my surroundings. My mind is focused on just one scene.
"..."
I still can't believe what I saw just a moment ago. I understood that the Holy Grail War would disrupt daily life... but to think that the hands of evil have reached even this close, my thinking was naive.
---Matou Shinji.
One of the few friends I have, someone I've known for a long time.
His grades are always at the top of the class, and he's physically capable. In the archery club, he holds the position of vice captain with his skill.
As the son of a respectable family, he has good financial standing. With his good looks, he's also popular among girls.
...However, objectively speaking, it's difficult to call him a genuinely good person. He's not a bad person, but he has a habit of looking down on others, and he has a poor reputation among boys.
That being said, if you can find a way to get along with him, he's easy to hang out with. We've been friends since middle school, often going hiking and playing games together. Although our relationship has become somewhat distant now, he's still my friend.
He should have been an ordinary person. So why... at that timing, was he going in and out of the archery range that turned into another world?
"Is it just a coincidence...?"
I mutter aloud, but there's a part of me that understands it's not possible.
With the order to suspend club activities, each club room is supposed to be securely locked. The keys should be held by the club advisor or the club president or vice president. There should be no reason to leave it open like that, and I can't understand why Shinji, who should have had the key, didn't lock it. For someone as meticulous as him, there's no way he would engage in careless behavior.
Moreover, it's strange in the first place that he went to the archery range at such a time. Even if he forgot something, Shinji was only there for a few seconds. He didn't seem to have anything with him, and it just looked like he came to "confirm something."
And... the inscription on the pillars of the archery range, the seal of the boundary. Although I searched around the school, I had forgotten about that place. On this day, Shinji exhibited suspicious behavior, and what awaited him was the foundation of the boundary. It may be jumping to conclusions, but it's too much of a coincidence.
---But if Shinji is connected to that boundary, everything falls into place.
Today, Tohsaka and I destroyed the curse seals throughout the school. Rather than saying we destroyed them, we simply interfered temporarily, but it still delays the activation of the boundary. If there were curse seals that we haven't found yet... the caster of the boundary would undoubtedly go to confirm their safety.
It's hard to believe suddenly, but if we think that way, it all makes sense. It can explain the unease I felt. Emotionally, I can't accept it, but logically, there are no particularly contradictory points.
...However, there's one thing that doesn't make sense. Why did they create the foundation of the boundary in such a place? I can't understand that.
The other curse seals were all in places where they wouldn't be noticed. Behind the stairs, in the shadow of the cleaning supplies storage room, or in unused empty classrooms. Well, it's natural to set them up in places where people rarely visit.
But this place is different. Even an amateur magus like me can instantly recognize that there's a curse seal in such an obvious place. Despite there being other less conspicuous places, why did they choose such a noticeable location? The perplexing carelessness seems to suggest that their goal was to be discovered by someone.
While lost in my thoughts like that, it was a mistake.
"Ah!"
I felt a jolt at my waist.
I quickly raise my head, and familiar scenery of the shopping district comes into view. Due to it being evening, the various shops are bustling with shoppers carrying shopping bags. ...No, that's not it.
Because I was absent-minded, I must have bumped into someone. I should apologize, so I look around, but I don't see anyone near me.
"?"
A tugging sensation on my hem. Curious, I lower my gaze.
And there, she was.
"You really need to be more careful. It's very rude to bump into a lady like that."
A small girl with silver hair was standing there.
"What...!?"
Instinctively, I jump back and take a defensive stance.
This girl... just a few days ago, she introduced herself as Illyasviel, a magus. She's none other than the Master of Berserker in the Holy Grail War. I don't know why she's here in a shopping district like this, but it's beyond unexpected for her to expose herself in public in broad daylight.
If she has no concern for being seen, then in the next moment, I would already be killed. It was careless of me to be targeted during my commute without Archer...!
"I'm glad. You're still alive, big brother."
Ignoring my readiness to escape at any moment, the girl smiles brightly. Her expression is that of a young girl, unimaginable from her mercilessness in defeating Saber. It's me who's the anomaly in this atmosphere, trembling in fear.
If she were to attack right away, I thought, but there's no sense of hostility or murderous intent coming from the girl in front of me. The contradiction makes me feel uneasy, and I cautiously open my mouth.
"You, if I remember correctly, you're Illyasviel..."
"Oh, you remembered!"
With a delighted expression, the girl's face brightens. I had put in effort to meet her innocent gaze, but I ended up being caught off guard.
"Your name is so long, so just call me Illya! And what's your name, big brother?"
"Huh, me? I'm Emiya Shirou... but if it's hard to remember, Shirou is fine."
In response to the girl's gleaming eyes and innocent question, I unconsciously answer normally. Even though she is the Master of Berserker, I can't ignore a question from a young girl.
Upon hearing my name, Illyasviel places a finger on her lips, as if pondering something. Her casual gesture gives me goosebumps.
...That night. On the night I was attacked by Berserker, this girl showed the same gesture. After showing such contemplation, she introduced herself innocently and sent Berserker to kill us.
I immediately lower myself, ready to run. The girl gazes at me curiously, tilts her head slightly, and opens her mouth again.
"You don't have to be so defensive, Shirou. The sun is still out, right? You shouldn't fight while the sun is out."
"...Don't you have the intention to fight?"
"Nope! I didn't bring Berserker today, and Shirou didn't bring a Servant either, right? So, it's a draw."
Saying that, Illyasviel looks up at me in a cheerful mood. There's still no trace of a fighting spirit in her.
"If you say you don't want to fight... then, what did you come here for?"
"I came to talk to Shirou! I had a lot of things I wanted to talk about with you."
"Talk... you didn't really come here to fight?"
And as I say that...
Her eyes narrow sharply.
"Hmm. So you really want to fight me that badly, big brother."
A chilling voice. I understand that if I oppose her, I won't have a chance.
Although she appears as a young girl, she is the Master of that Berserker... Heracles. Even if she says she doesn't have a Servant with her now, as someone who isn't even a proper magus, I can't determine the truth. That monster who defeated Saber and nullified Archer's arrows—if he were to appear here now, I wouldn't stand a chance on my own.
There are many ordinary people walking around, but I can't imagine this magician with freezing eyes hesitating because of that. If she has decided to kill, no matter who is watching or where, this girl will slaughter her opponent.
Her cruelty as a Master, different from Archer's ruthlessness. I, for sure, am currently being oppressed by it.
"...No, I don't intend to fight either. We should just talk, right? I'll go along with it, so is that okay, Illya?"
I declare my surrender, knowing that I can't involve the people around us. Upon hearing that, the girl who showed such cruelty a moment ago reveals a smile as if her previous display was a lie.
"Yeah, let's go over there! Hurry up or I'll leave you behind!"
With a bounce in place, she turns around and dashes straight ahead.
Her joyful figure doesn't resemble that of a Master in the Holy Grail War. It clearly belongs to an innocent young girl. Illya must have believed in my words and ran with that trust.
The distance between us gradually increases. However, Illya doesn't look back. Without a doubt, she believes wholeheartedly that I'm following her.
Archer would sneer at me for falling into the enemy's trap.
Tohsaka would scold me, saying I should have stayed on track and not taken a detour.
Saber would ask me, "What are you thinking, Shirou?"
...But even so. No matter who the opponent is, I couldn't betray a girl who trusted me.
＊＊＊
We arrived at a small, empty park away from the hustle and bustle of the shopping district. Sitting on a dry bench, the two of us side by side, we must have looked like a truly peculiar sight to an onlooker.
Our appearances are too different to be considered siblings, and the age gap is too large to be called friends. However, since there's no one else around, there's no need for an explanation.
...And, the fact that we don't have to worry about being seen. In other words, it also means that at this very moment, I might be attacked by Berserker.
Although Illya, who is sitting next to me, is in high spirits, I don't know much about this girl, so I can't predict when her mood might change. As someone without the power of a magus and without a Servant, I am clearly defenseless.
I'm aware of that, but I can't act recklessly either. Just as Illya believed in me, I should trust this girl and try to have a conversation.
I can't remain silent forever, so I open my mouth, pretending to be natural.
"...Hey. You said we should talk, but what exactly should we talk about? I don't have any idea what kind of story would make Illya happy..."
"Huh? It's not fun if it's not an interesting story."
Illya pouts, making her resemble a squirrel, and I can't help but smile wryly.
"Even if you say it should be interesting... I don't know anything about you, Illya, so I don't know what would be interesting to you."
"I see... Well then, today I'll be the one to tell a story!"
Saying that, she giggles and leans against me. With a genuinely joyful smile, Illya starts her tale.
Her real name is Illyasviel von Einzbern.
She was born and raised in a castle where snow frequently falls.
She takes pride in her hair, which she inherited from her mother, and her father praised it as well.
She rarely went outside her room.
While in Fuyuki, she lives in a mansion deep in the forest.
There's a nagging maid in the castle, and she always gets scolded.
Words flow from Illya's mouth, one after another, like magic. Even though I was just nodding along, at some point, I had let my guard down and found myself smiling and exchanging words with her.
This innocent girl, speaking so candidly, is impossible to associate with being a Master in the Holy Grail War. If I didn't know anything, I would simply think of her as a lovely young girl.
...However. It was this girl, and no one else, who incited Berserker and gave the order to kill Saber. I can't forget her cruelty just because of our peaceful conversation.
Yet, which is the true nature? This purity or the cruelty from that night. I still can't understand Illyasviel's duality.
As I pondered such thoughts, Ilya raised her head, perhaps suspicious of my silence.
"Hmm, well..."
I switched my train of thought and placed my hand on my chin.
From our previous conversation, I knew that Ilya enjoyed even the most casual of topics. Surely, as someone who had never left the Winter Castle, any conversation with others must be enjoyable for her.
I wondered what I should talk about, but perhaps even my ordinary daily life could become an extraordinary story for Ilya. I imagined some past failures and school events in my mind.
"Well then, let's talk about recent events in my life. I'll try to choose something interesting, but I apologize if it turns out boring."
Ilya nodded eagerly, her eyes filled with anticipation. I could sense my own face brightening up in response.
"Yeah, when it comes to interesting stories..."
Once I started the story, one interesting topic after another seemed to emerge effortlessly.
I told her about how I learned magic from my father but had no talent for it.
I mentioned Sakura, a junior who helps with household chores at my house.
I talked about my good friend Issei, who constantly bickers with Tohsaka every chance he gets.
I revealed that Tohsaka wears a facade at school and her true nature is completely different.
I mentioned how the recently arrived Servants seemed to be obsessed with playing shogi.
Ilya listened to my stories with joy throughout, but when it came to the topic of Tohsaka, she leaned in, fully engrossed. Especially the banter between Issei and Tohsaka and the story of Tohsaka cruelly rejecting upperclassmen received a great reaction. I felt satisfied with the stories I shared, even though I could never say them in front of Tohsaka herself.
However, Ilya, who had been enjoying the conversation so much, suddenly clouded her expression the moment I brought up the topic of Servants.
Up until the point when I mentioned Saber and Archer playing shogi, it was still fine. But as soon as the conversation shifted to Archer himself... Ilya's previously cheerful smile turned into an expressionless face.
Her sudden change left me speechless. Even though we were just having a casual conversation, I couldn't help but wonder if mentioning Servants was a mistake.
"...Illya?"
I called out to her, trying to gauge the situation as she lowered her head. Her crimson eyes, now tinged with seriousness, gazed off into the distance, as if contemplating something beyond the present moment.
The park fell silent. Only the faint sounds of our breathing remained, reminding us of the presence of life.
Before I knew it, the sun was setting. In about an hour, Fuyuki City would be enveloped in the darkness of night. I realized that I should head home soon, and such thoughts crossed my mind.
In the midst of the twilight, time passed quietly. The silence was broken abruptly when Ilya suddenly raised her head.
"...I actually don't want to talk about boring things. But because it's important, I have to tell you, Shirou."
"Huh...?"
Her serious gaze left me speechless. It was a look that was different from the cruelty of that night and the innocence she had shown before. It was a calm gaze that seemed more befitting of an adult woman, as if she were saying that she truly was one.
With a presence that didn't match her young appearance, she continued to stare at me without moving, parting her moist lips.
"Shirou, sever your contract with that Servant."
That statement was so unexpected that it took me a few moments to grasp its meaning.
"What... Ilya, what do you mean by that?"
"It's true that the other Masters are pests, but you're different, Shirou. If you sever your contract with that Servant, I might let you go."
She interrupted my words and continued with an unbelievable statement.
It wasn't because the Servant was getting in her way, but because she genuinely cared about my well-being. I couldn't find words to speak and could only remain silent.
As she looked at me like that, I wondered what she was thinking. After closing her mouth once, she seemed lost in thought for a moment, then looked straight into my eyes again.
"Shirou, do you know anything about that Servant?"
Being directly confronted with such a question, I realized for the first time that I knew nothing about the Servant I had summoned.
I didn't know their true name, their Noble Phantasm, or even their motivations. They were an enigmatic Heroic Spirit, not meant to exist as a physical entity but summoned as one, which in itself was an abnormality that shouldn't have been possible.
Even Tohsaka had no idea about Archer. She had no recollection whatsoever. Saber seemed to know something, but I hadn't asked her about it yet.
It was a big problem that I didn't know anything about my own Servant, even though they were supposed to fight alongside me as my ally. When I returned home, I had to ask Saber about Archer. With that conclusion in mind, I decided to give the best answer I could with the knowledge I had.
"No... All I know is that he is Archer. He seems to have lost his memories due to some mistake in the summoning. Even he himself doesn't know who he is."
"Hmm... I see. I thought there was something strange about him since his power and potential were so different. But I guess that's fine too. This is something I didn't expect either."
With a look of understanding, Ilya muttered incomprehensible words and nodded.
Observing her, I couldn't fathom her intentions. After a brief moment of contemplation, she raised her head again and looked straight at me. Her serious expression and deep thoughtfulness showed that she was truly burdened with a grave matter.
"Shirou, you said you're a mage, but you're just an amateur, right?"
"Yeah, it's embarrassing, but I'm honestly not good at magecraft. The only things I can do are reinforcement and projection."
"I see. So you're going to use something strange again. It's true that you can only do inefficient things, so you really are an amateur... By the way, do you happen to not know anything about the Holy Grail War?"
"No, I know about the Holy Grail and the basics of Servants and Masters."
Although most of my knowledge was second-hand from Tohsaka and Kotomine.
"I see, so you do know about that. Then, do you understand the relationship between Servants and Masters?"
To confirm, Ilya asked me about something I had just mentioned. Perplexed, I furrowed my brow and replied.
"Yes, Masters and Servants have a special bond. The Master, who is the commander, keeps the Servant in the real world and supplies them with magical energy. The Servant, who acts as the fighting force, is far more powerful than a human, but they cannot remain in the real world without a Master. Only by receiving magical energy from the Master can the Servant fully demonstrate their true abilities. The Master and the Servant both have their own reasons for seeking the Holy Grail, and it is their shared interests that bring them together. That's the relationship between magi and Heroic Spirits in the Holy Grail War."
"Servants can't stay in this world without a Master. Heroic Spirits, who are not residents of this world, require a vessel and magical energy to continue existing in the modern era. It is the mages who have become Masters that provide these."
"Do you still not understand? In other words, as long as there is a vessel and magical energy, the Servant doesn't need a Master."
Ilya's words left me speechless. The reason she persistently asked about Servants finally became clear with that statement.
There are Command Spells that allow Masters to give orders to their Servants. However, even without such a thing, the Servant is bound to follow the Master's intentions. While the Master can live without the Servant, the Servant cannot exist without a Master.
But what if, by some mistake... the vessel and the magical energy needed to stay in this world were provided by the Servant themselves?
The answer is simple. If that were the case, the Servant wouldn't need a Master. Since the Servant, the Heroic Spirit, is the one who actually fights, the Master, burdened with the unnecessary shackles of Command Spells, would only become a hindrance. The purpose of the Master's existence would be nearly lost at this point.
And... I am the one who knows about that irregularity.
Archer, the Servant I summoned... That golden Servant, could he abandon me at any moment?
He is not a spiritual entity but possesses a physical body in reality. If he possesses his own body, he cannot be called a true Servant. He doesn't need a vessel, and he can even generate his own magical energy. Without Command Spells, he doesn't even have the obligation to obey a Master.
I clenched my fist tightly. The three Command Spells engraved in my hand. The relationship between me and Archer... In truth, it was nothing more than a fragile and tenuous connection.
He fought for his own enjoyment, claiming that he had no purpose, and laughed about it. The intuition I felt at that moment, that if I didn't meet his expectations, he would easily kill me, was undeniably correct. He... that Heroic Spirit could kill me without hesitation if he wished.
"Now you understand, right? Shirou, you're crossing a dangerous bridge."
"But that Servant is strange. Even if Shirou intends to continue as a Master, the contract with that Servant is forbidden."
Ilya asserted with confidence. The words I wanted to argue with faded away in the face of this reality.
No matter how many times it happened... my understanding until now was too naive.
The reason why Tohsaka and Saber were so cautious, why they regarded him as an enemy... I now understood the true meaning of that. He was a Servant who didn't need a Master. Even without me, that irregularity alone was a threat.
Normally, no matter how powerful a Servant is, their performance depends on the abilities of their Master. If the Master's abilities are lacking, they won't be able to fully utilize the Servant's power, and if the Master is defeated, the Servant will have no choice but to disappear.
But Archer can fight on his own terms. He doesn't have the weakness of a Master. In other words, there is no way to defeat that Heroic Spirit except by confronting him head-on.
Furthermore, Archer can obtain magical energy on his own. Unlike other Servants who rely on their Masters, Archer, who can freely fight on his own, has a significant strategic advantage. If his memories were intact, he would have truly become an incredible Servant.
"But even if he's a Servant, no Servant can defy Command Spells. Some Heroic Spirits may resist with one Command Spell, but there's no Servant who can resist commands that are reinforced with two or three Command Spells."
"Shirou, if you want to sever the contract with that Servant, just order him to 'die.'"
"If you don't like that, use all the Command Spells on meaningless orders. Once you're no longer a Master, I'll let you go, and I'll defeat the remaining Servant with Berserker."
Ilya's offer. Her tempting words were similar to what Kirei mentioned in the church at night.
The priest said that using powerful Command Spells wastefully was out of the question. However, that was only true as long as one's own life was preserved. I wanted to get rid of unnecessary Command Spells like those demonic papers, which could easily lead to my own death.
I recalled Archer's eyes, those eyes that were different from anyone else's. Honestly, I couldn't understand what he was thinking. Archer, who rarely spoke unless necessary and looked down on everything, was clearly different from the other Servants I had encountered so far.
"What will you do, Shirou?"
Ilya looked up at me with a serious expression. The only thing reflected in her eyes was genuine concern for my well-being.
Surely... this girl genuinely cared about me, not out of calculation as a Master but because she was genuinely worried about someone as uncertain as me. My current situation was precarious to the point that even a girl I had just met was concerned about it.
"...I..."
I made up my mind to fight. But that was only because there was an entity on par with the threat of a Servant. If he wasn't an ally and could easily abandon me with a single will... what should I do?
I knew. I truly knew Archer's cold crimson eyes.
However, I had been careless somewhere. I doubted whether that man could truly kill me without a Master, knowing that the Servant couldn't survive without one. Without deeply considering the fact that he was already incarnated, I had recklessly wandered along the edge of the cliff, where a single misstep could lead me to the abyss.
Fighting as a hero of justice? No, that was a problem that came before that. If I were to be killed before I could do anything, it would be worthless. It would mean that there was no meaning in being saved ten years ago.
...What should I do?
As the girl said, should I sever the contract with Archer?
If I did that, I could at least escape from the enigmatic Heroic Spirit. There was still a possibility of being targeted by other Masters or Servants, but I had the option of seeking refuge in the Kotomine Church. That would be somewhat better than being stabbed in the back.
I didn't know how long the Holy Grail War would continue, but it wouldn't last for an extended period. Once it was over, normal everyday life would return. Masters and Servants, battles and killing, would cease to exist, and a precious and rare peace would return.
Besides, I didn't willingly choose to fight. If I severed the contract with the Servant here, I would just return to my previous state, and there would be no problem at all...
"...I..."
No, that's not it.
Remember. Remember ten years ago.
That calamity, that disaster. It was the hell that robbed me of my ordinary life. The one who brought that suffering was the Servant. The one who invites that natural disaster is the Holy Grail.
Can I really go back to my normal life? No. Even if I run away from the battle, I cannot escape from the catastrophe. With human power, there is no chance of winning against a natural disaster.
Didn't I lose something? In that calamity, I lost everything. Even though I had nothing to do with the Holy Grail War, I lost everything just by being there.
Many people burned to death. Many people mourned. Can I proudly live on, turning my back on such injustice?
And... the scene I witnessed earlier. Matou Shinji, my friend, is involved in the Holy Grail War. If that is true... I can't turn a blind eye to it.
As a human attending school, it is my duty as a friend to stop him if he is about to commit a wrong act. And if I give up the fight, it also means closing my eyes to the boundary field set up at school. If that happens, many people will die. Even though I have already abandoned many people once... am I going to make the choice to abandon others again?
"────"
I looked up at the sky. The ruler of the heavens had silently changed from the sun to the moon.
Under the evenly falling moonlight, I took a deep breath. My wavering heart froze in the cold night air.
After a long blink, I opened my eyes. In my field of vision was the face of the girl waiting for my answer. I looked straight into her eyes and...
"─I will fight. I can't let another incident like ten years ago happen again."
"Why... Do you want the Holy Grail so badly, Shirou?"
I wondered if she had predicted my answer. Without showing any surprise, Ilya calmly asked me.
"No, I don't have any interest in the Holy Grail. But if I ignore this conflict, many people will be involved. I can't just overlook that," I replied.
"But Shirou, your Servant might abandon you... No, it could be worse, you might be killed. Aren't you afraid of fighting for others when you don't even desire the Holy Grail?"
Afraid of death, huh? That was a question that Archer himself had asked me.
If that's the case, the answer is already decided. If I deviate from that answer, Shirou Emiya will cease to be himself.
"It's scary, but... what's even scarier is when others die because of me."
It's okay if I get hurt, but I can't tolerate others getting hurt.
A hero of justice is a heroic hero who helps those in need and those who are hurt. If that's the case, I can't stand still in the face of such fear.
"And also... I don't think he's such a bad guy. He says he doesn't have any memories, and he acts all high and mighty and selfish, but... I can't think of a reason why he would want to kill me without any cause."
Somehow, I occasionally feel like he's an incredible person, that arrogant golden Servant.
That hero certainly helped me. Even if he had some ulterior motives, Archer responded to my unintended summons, drove away Lancer, and fought Berserker for me.
...And if I had decided to abandon him, he wouldn't have helped me from the beginning. If that were the case, when he realized I was powerless or when I made the choice to confront Berserker to save Saber, he should have discarded me.
But he didn't do that. He asked for my true intentions, tested me, and even though he looked exasperated and mocked me, Archer declared that he would fight as my Servant.
That's not all. It's hard to understand, but Archer sometimes gives me advice-like words. If he had already given up on me, why would he need to do such a thing?
Archer always speaks only cold logic. No matter how condescending he may be, his words have their own logic. If there was a time when he abandoned me, it would be when I became irreparable and deviated from the path.
In response to my answer, the girl's eyes widened. I met Ilya's gaze directly, and...
"I think he might be an incredible Heroic Spirit... even though he claims to have lost his memories. I can't just let go of such a powerful 'weapon' without a reason."
Regrettable as it may be, I can't participate in the Holy Grail War alone. So, I have to believe in my own Servant. Moreover, he's not just a "weapon," he's my partner in the Holy Grail War.
As soon as I spoke those words, the uneasiness in my chest disappeared completely.
My determination, which had wavered with Ilya's words, solidified once again with my own words. I exhaled, tightly gripping the hand that held the Command Spells.
"That's why I'm sorry, Ilya. I can't withdraw from this fight."
I sincerely lowered my head.
I had become the enemy of the girl who had worried about me. It was equivalent to declaring that I would continue to be her enemy as a Master.
So I thought she would get angry, but instead, with a smile that seemed about to cry, Ilya spoke gently.
"I see. Shirou, you're going to become my enemy, huh?"
She said that and suddenly, without warning, stood up from the bench. I could only sit there without saying anything, watching her retreating figure, clearly indicating rejection.
"Fine. I'll go home now, but if you say you're going to fight, I'll be your opponent. After all, I came to this town to kill Kiritsugu and Shirou."
With those parting words.
The girl who had reached out to me as an ally walked away from the park as an enemy.
＊＊＊
"Hahaha, ahahaahaha! To refer to me as a mere 'weapon,' you have no sense of propriety!"
In a house devoid of people, there echoed a boisterous laughter.
The owner of the house had yet to return, and there was no sign of the inhabitants returning. As a result, there was only one person here. Seated in the hallway, clad in a Rider suit, was a young man with golden hair.
What exactly was so amusing? Archer laughed heartily, clapping his hands repeatedly. His smile was nothing but mockery, a spectacle that would astonish anyone who witnessed it.
Without even trying to suppress his laughter, Archer's voice resounded. His behavior showed no restraint, revealing his genuine enjoyment.
"But I shall forgive you. Those who lack the modesty of their vessel and harbor desires that exceed their station. However foolish it may be, there is value in rarities. After all, my master is nothing more than a mongrel. If he at least didn't possess that level of arrogance—!"
Chuckling to himself, Archer's laughter echoed. There was no one before him, and not even the sight of insects could be found in the dark garden. There was nothing here to captivate this young man's interest. No, in fact, Archer himself wasn't even opening his eyes.
So why was this Heroic Spirit laughing? To others, it might seem eerie. The secret behind it lay in the relationship between the Master and Servant.
It was through the magical pathway that connected the magician Master and the familiar Servant, a highly versatile form of magic that allowed one to share their visual and auditory senses with the other. Magicians often peered into distant scenes or directly heard sounds through their familiars. That was precisely the ability Archer was utilizing.
Archer couldn't perform any magic at the moment. However, for a sentient being like Archer, following the magical pathway was a simple task, whether it was a frog or a bird. Sharing the senses of the Master posed no challenge, effortlessly executed by Archer.
This particular magic had a disadvantage in that it couldn't be performed without the consent of both parties. However, this drawback didn't matter in the relationship between Shirou Emiya and Archer.
Shirou Emiya was essentially an amateur magician. He had weak resistance to magic and didn't even possess defensive magic. If he were a slightly more powerful magician, he could easily manipulate him.
Archer's seamless use of the shared sense ability was due to the immaturity of his Master. Perhaps that boy wasn't even aware that his own senses were being interfered with.
Naturally, Archer had no intention of informing him of that fact. Nor did he intend to share his own senses with his Master. While it was his prerogative to use others' senses, he absolutely would not allow others to use his own. That was the self-centered pride of this egotistical Heroic Spirit.
"This so-called Holy Grail War is undoubtedly a petty game. Yet, it may unexpectedly turn into an enjoyable comedy."
The golden Servant's smile deepened. In his mind, he envisioned the people he had encountered thus far. While Saber was the one who interested him the most, he wasn't indifferent to the other individuals.
The girl named Rin, who was Saber's Master, also seemed quite intriguing, and the women who came to this house were far from ordinary. At the very least, the fact that he allowed them a certain level of disrespect indicated his level of interest in them.
And at this moment... he became interested in his current Master, Shirou Emiya. While he had intended to discard him like any other mediocre hybrid, he wasn't an ordinary person. No, his abilities were average at best, but what lay beneath was fundamentally different. Though he seemed like an ordinary person, there was no way he could see through the superficiality and the unfathomable depths of his crimson gaze.
From the moment he was summoned, the fatal problem of Shirou's lost memories had arisen. While any normal Servant or even a regular human would be confused, this anomaly could be resolved with a single word for this Heroic Spirit. Archer's problem wasn't his own memories.
Unlike other Servants, he had a lack of purpose. While he wished to regain his memories if possible, he had no interest in the Holy Grail War itself. He didn't even believe in the reputation of granting wishes.
However, now that he had been summoned, there was no turning back. He wasn't foolish enough to return to the Throne willingly. Exploring the pleasures of the material world took top priority for him, and the inability to find enjoyment was a significant problem.
But it wouldn't be so easy to find a source of pleasure right away. That's why Archer turned his attention to the people surrounding him.
"To think you not only called me a 'weapon' but also went so far as to refer to me as a 'partner.' Hah, you truly have no sense of your own place, mongrel."
Among them, the one unintentionally became his master, Shirou Emiya. The mere existence of being tied to him as a master was unforgivable for Archer. If Shirou didn't possess any value to entertain him, Archer would have no hesitation in discarding him. As long as he had a physical body, Archer viewed masters as nothing more than parasites.
In an act of at least some mercy, Archer had warned him that he wasn't an ally. Nevertheless, Shirou Emiya had exceeded Archer's imagination.
Not only did he decide to fight despite having no abilities, but his abnormal way of throwing himself into danger to save his enemies.
Whether it was the foolishness of not understanding his own circumstances or the unwavering conviction within his soul that surpassed ordinary people.
And the rare object concealed within his body. What was embedded within him held such value that it made even this Heroic Spirit gaze in awe.
Furthermore, the reason he believed in Archer, as expressed by his own mouth. It was certainly naive, immature, and contradictory, but that's precisely what made it interesting. Such a twisted existence could undoubtedly be said to be rare in the wide world.
Therefore, Archer was intrigued. The target he had originally intended to merely observe was now scrutinized by his own eyes.
As a result, Archer harbored the conviction that Shirou Emiya could bring him enjoyment.
How that came about was truly a coincidence.
If one cog had been different, this Heroic Spirit would have had no interest in his Master. It would have been like casually discarding a roadside stone without any value.
Or if their positions had been different. This Servant would have mercilessly defeated that boy. The distortion within a person sometimes engenders not only aversion but also disgust.
Or perhaps they wouldn't have met at all. No matter what determination Shirou had made, he was still immature. It wouldn't be surprising if he had perished by this point without the favor of luck.
An improbable probability. An impossible miracle. Shirou Emiya, who unwittingly stumbled upon it, was undoubtedly a fortunate individual. At least, Archer was convinced of that. Regardless of the elements at play, the one who encountered them was a person blessed by fortune.
"Hmph... If you find me lacking as your contractee, then allow me to thoroughly entertain you. That is your duty, Shirou Emiya."
The golden hero smiled with great delight. As if unable to withstand his overwhelming presence, the sun lingering in the corner of the sky began to set.
What remained was only the young man illuminated by the moon. His eyes, leaving behind the lingering warmth of a smile, gazed up at the endless night sky.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
Kudou_taiki
Kudou_taiki Your gift is the motivation for my creation. Give me more motivation!
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone