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Tulis ulasan
You got yourself a unique plot based on a campus. You need to proof read though to avoid errors such as the one in the opening chapter where you say "Kayla kissed his in place of her boyfriend causing a bit of confusion though as to what gender Kayla is . Otherwise I like fit the fact that yours is very unique plot taking the reality of dorm life on campus. Well done, but mind you proof read your work after writing. Apart from that you have come up with a very realistic portrayal of dorm life.
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The story seems good even if the description is a bit light I think. You could elaborate it a bit more to make it more catchy. In addition, you should try to work a little more on the narration of your story, at least in the description of the sets. In the first chapter for example, we fall directly into the action without understanding and it is perhaps still the fault of the description too much done on the fly. But the idea sounds interesting.
You got yourself a unique plot based on a campus. You need to proof read though to avoid errors such as the one in the opening chapter where you say "Kayla kissed his in place of her boyfriend causing a bit of confusion though as to what gender Kayla is . Otherwise I like fit the fact that yours is very unique plot taking the reality of dorm life on campus. Well done, but mind you proof read your work after writing. Apart from that you have come up with a very realistic portrayal of dorm life.
[img=update][img=coins][img=Loving it][img=Loving it][img=Loving it][img=Loving it][img=Loving it][img=Loving it]
The story seems good even if the description is a bit light I think. You could elaborate it a bit more to make it more catchy. In addition, you should try to work a little more on the narration of your story, at least in the description of the sets. In the first chapter for example, we fall directly into the action without understanding and it is perhaps still the fault of the description too much done on the fly. But the idea sounds interesting.