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all the clichés of a newbie in a story. A seinen beginning just because it sounds fun, multiple powers dominated because one isn't enough, rubbish romance and non-existent charisma.
This fanfic is quite average. The concept of Gojo x Yorrichi in Dan Machi is pretty interesting, but the development is rather subpar. His Yorrichi side of his life seemingly has no effect on his character besides sword play, and he seemingly gains some powers out of nowhere. His "assistant" was clearly taken from Tensura, but it doesn't really make sense how he has it. The storyline is also quite cliche as he may as well be an otaku reincarnator with Gojo and Yorrichi's memories since he can basically see the future. The grammar is rather subpar with a lot of mistakes scattered around, and the quality would be far better by rearranging the sentence structure. There are also a few plot points that are questionable, like how if Bella isn't the Argonaut's incarnate, then will there be a proper incarnate of the Argonaut, or will that be ignored? And the idea that a god can't lie to another god... doesn't make sense with the existence of Loki, who is literally a Goddess of Trickery, which makes her divinity basically useless against other gods. One redeeming factor is the world building for the dan machi world, such as how the gods came to be, the spirit world, and relatively smooth introduction of characters. The character interactions are also not bad, somewhat cliche but not bad. But the other factors drag down my rating of this ff. Although my final rating is a 3.4, I did enjoy reading it so far and look forward to more.
Hooray, another author that get his inspiration out of Japanese protagonists. Meaning, the mc is a piece of trash. Yes, another one. How unexpected,heh?
ich glaube, dass das Wort loli nicht nur leben ist, sondern eine neue Singularität der Existenz (immer existieren lolizim ) [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I almost had a stroke trying to read this, the writing is horrendous, i can barely piece together what's going on with how badly each sentence is formed
Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎
So far the story is good. keep up the good work and pls don't drop the story 👍
Its trashy mc seems like your usual beta protagonist and bruh Can you believe this guy? He actually made someone lay there hands on alfia just so mc could be born which was totally unnecessary ntr well beta do have a thing for ntr I guess and you know even when mc knows his supposed mother hates the one who impregnated her with him probably because he raped her mc was like "poor guy was getting cursed" like what if ntr wasn't enough the mc is a beta hypocrite justice hero wannabe you can tell from just those sentence in the future when he meets his supposed dad he will doglick him well authors do create mc the same as themselves lol
Good fanfiction ,👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 hope you don't drop it and keep up the good work.
You wouldn't know how you die if you dare to stand in the way of this guy. *Muzan got PSTD* 😂
The story is good so far please keep it up. I hope it wouldn't just suddenly drop.
[img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي]
all the clichés of a newbie in a story. A seinen beginning just because it sounds fun, multiple powers dominated because one isn't enough, rubbish romance and non-existent charisma.
This fanfic is quite average. The concept of Gojo x Yorrichi in Dan Machi is pretty interesting, but the development is rather subpar. His Yorrichi side of his life seemingly has no effect on his character besides sword play, and he seemingly gains some powers out of nowhere. His "assistant" was clearly taken from Tensura, but it doesn't really make sense how he has it. The storyline is also quite cliche as he may as well be an otaku reincarnator with Gojo and Yorrichi's memories since he can basically see the future. The grammar is rather subpar with a lot of mistakes scattered around, and the quality would be far better by rearranging the sentence structure. There are also a few plot points that are questionable, like how if Bella isn't the Argonaut's incarnate, then will there be a proper incarnate of the Argonaut, or will that be ignored? And the idea that a god can't lie to another god... doesn't make sense with the existence of Loki, who is literally a Goddess of Trickery, which makes her divinity basically useless against other gods. One redeeming factor is the world building for the dan machi world, such as how the gods came to be, the spirit world, and relatively smooth introduction of characters. The character interactions are also not bad, somewhat cliche but not bad. But the other factors drag down my rating of this ff. Although my final rating is a 3.4, I did enjoy reading it so far and look forward to more.
Hooray, another author that get his inspiration out of Japanese protagonists. Meaning, the mc is a piece of trash. Yes, another one. How unexpected,heh?
ich glaube, dass das Wort loli nicht nur leben ist, sondern eine neue Singularität der Existenz (immer existieren lolizim ) [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I almost had a stroke trying to read this, the writing is horrendous, i can barely piece together what's going on with how badly each sentence is formed
Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 Cool 😎 Cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎 cool 😎
So far the story is good. keep up the good work and pls don't drop the story 👍
Its trashy mc seems like your usual beta protagonist and bruh Can you believe this guy? He actually made someone lay there hands on alfia just so mc could be born which was totally unnecessary ntr well beta do have a thing for ntr I guess and you know even when mc knows his supposed mother hates the one who impregnated her with him probably because he raped her mc was like "poor guy was getting cursed" like what if ntr wasn't enough the mc is a beta hypocrite justice hero wannabe you can tell from just those sentence in the future when he meets his supposed dad he will doglick him well authors do create mc the same as themselves lol
Good fanfiction ,👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 hope you don't drop it and keep up the good work.
You wouldn't know how you die if you dare to stand in the way of this guy. *Muzan got PSTD* 😂
The story is good so far please keep it up. I hope it wouldn't just suddenly drop.
[img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي][img = يوصي]