Bab 41: Chapter 39- Imagine...
'I am such an idiot... ' While staring at the messages she has sent to Haru recently, Jinah couldn't help but mutter inwardly for the nth time.
Yesterday, Haru told her that he would be dropping out of school since he would get his license and begin his hunter's job more regularly so naturally he wouldn't be able to attend school anymore.
Jinah had already acknowledged Haru's prowess and knows that he would become a brilliant hunter, so she should also be happy for him.
However, she couldn't pretend to be pleased about his decision.
There was a part of her who wanted to spend her high school life with Haru but it wasn't the main reason why she argued with Haru yesterday and told him to not call her ever again.
The primary reason for her stress emerges from the fact that she doesn't want another important person in her life to separate from her. Her father disappeared in a gate all those years ago. Her Oppa also has gone through so much during his initial days as a hunter which made Jinah feel hopeless and miserable all those times.
The fret of getting a call from the Association that something happened to her Oppa kept Jinah awake for numerous nights.
Her mother was also not with them at times when she wanted some moral support and all this was because of these stupid dungeons.
Her brother had no other option rather than to work as a hunter to meet the essentialities and also pay for their mother's hospital bill. But it wasn't the same case for Haru.
Jinah doesn't want Haru to get his license and force himself into the same abyss where she has lost someone precious before. She just...wants him to be with her. Even if he is not famous or rich, it would never matter to her.
'But by what relation do I want him to remain by my side... ' Jinah wasn't even certain about that as well.
She did tell Haru to change his decision but in the first place, did she have such a close relationship with Haru to give him the ultimatum?
Jinah didn't even have sorted out her own feelings and yet she wishes Haru to understand her somehow and get convinced all by himself.
'How pathetic of me... ' Flipping over her stomach, she wiped the tear which has formed at the corner of her eye before she dipped her face deep inside the pillow.
Jinah knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight as well, but at least, with her eyes closed she would not keep on staring at her phone in hopes of getting a call from him.
"I have hurt you, haven't I?"
"Ah!"
Jinah jerked in surprise hearing the familiar voice from a short distance.
Turning her gaze toward her window, she saw Haru sitting on the windowsill with his eyes drawn to the floor and a sad expression marring his face.
Pushing away her surprise to see him out of the blue, she immediately got up from her bed and went to close the door.
"Haru? Did something happen? Are you alright?"
Jinah went to check Haru from up to down with her hands roaming around his arm and abdomen to see if there was any wound. But fortunately, there was none.
"It seems y-" Her voice choked in her throat as she realize how close they were. His warm breathing was brushing against her face his captivating eyes looking into hers, with a look of loneliness and guilt.
Jinah felt her heart getting heavy because of the emotion she found in his eyes since it was she who had inflicted such grief on him.
"Please come inside first..." Jinah took his hand and pulled Haru lightly inside the room. The latter followed her obediently before he found himself sitting on her bed.
It was the first time Haru has entered her room but neither of them was in their correct mind to feel conscious about it.
Jinah knelt between his legs while still holding his hand as she asked, "Why do you look so sad? Is it because of what I said yesterday?"
Haru wordlessly nodded which didn't surprise Jinah but rather a little happy.
At least she wasn't the only one who was taking their relationship so seriously. But she left the celebration for later since she wanted to tell him the truth for now.
"Haru...I know I must have sounded like an idiot and an imposing girl but trust me, there's a reason why I don't want you to leave this normal life and become a hunter."
"It's because of your father, right? I heard it from Sunbae."
Jinah was a little surprised but she nodded shortly after. It was true that she feared losing Haru that's why she took the roundabout route of pursuing him to leave the hunting world.
Haru sighed at that, before pulling Jinah beside him. Jinah followed his lead before she turned herself toward him, curious to hear what he has to say.
"Jinah...imagine a world free of these monsters, dungeons, and everything related to it. A normal life where we could remain peaceful without having the fear of losing someone close to us or being apprehensive that the next time we go out for a date, suddenly a gate doesn't emerge and ruins our day. How would feel if such a dream becomes a reality?"
Jinah's mind already dove into the imagination of such a beautiful world where she and Haru could be just like a normal couple. Her brother doesn't have to again interact with those dangers which could possibly take his life. Jinah could become a doctor and start her own family.
..indeed that sounded too good to be true.
However, "...why are saying this all of a sudden?" Jinah asked with a mixture of anxiety and suspicion blended in her voice.
And just as she thought Haru's following words were not settling at all.
"Give me a year and I would change all of this-"
"No, please stop that! I can't! It's not like I don't trust you Haru but the thought that to bring such massive change how many things you have to face makes my heart feel heavy. I just....can't!"
Jinah wanted to say more. She wanted Haru to stay miles away from any kind of hazard yet she wasn't able to voice them out. More like these stupid tears that started flowing out choked her breath.
"Ah..." Suddenly her voice returned in the form of a short yelp as she suddenly found herself being embraced.
She has recently been introduced to this warmth and it was still enough to bring her rapidly beating heart to peace.
"It pains me to see you cry like this."
His words echoed in her ear which made Jinah realize how she has been unintentionally hurting him.
Although it took her some time Jinah sobered up.
Haru did try to separate from her but Jinah stubbornly held him in place, reluctant to let go.
"...stay. Feels, good." She vaguely told him and Haru complied with her wish by embracing her back comfortably.
After a comfortable silence ensued between them, Haru once again spoke up, "Jinah, do you trust me?"
Although a little, Haru felt Jinah nodding her head in affirmation so he continued, "So just wait for some time and I will recreate this world. I can't say that I won't face any danger but nothing could pose a fatal threat to me."
Haru knew he would only grow from here on and even with the skills he has now, he knows that he wouldn't die by any monarch until all of them gang up on him.
He has calculated everything, however, he could have never expected what Jinah would say upon hearing his promise.
"...do know this Haru...if you die... I will kill myself."
Haru's eyes slightly widened before he pulled themselves apart to see whether she was joking about it, which was highly unlikely.
However, she wasn't.
Her eyes...were empty. Like there were no emotions left in them whatsoever. Haru has seen Jinah like this for the first time.
And true to what Haru thought, Jinah wasn't joking or threatening him here. She was just stating the fact without an ounce of hesitation.
'Damn...somehow I feel I have corrupted Jinah along the way... '
*****
A/N: -.
Jinah is a book of mystery. Well, I guess most girls are especially in their teenage years.
And sike! There would be a separation arc. In the first place, do you think Haru can stay away from Jinah?
Anyway, drop a comment if you liked the chapter.
And as I said in the previous chapter, you guys provided the stones, and I provided the chapter.
This give-and-take would occur next week as well.
Peace out ✌️.
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