Bab 132: Chapter 129
" You know, the main issue here isn't actually apologizing, it's the fact that I'm almost certain you'll soon do something else that I'll find upsetting. And we'll go about this messed up situation all over again. "
" I won't, I swear. "
He was in conflict with himself, but the fact that he wasn't walking away was a good thing. And I also knew Kyle well enough to realize that he wanted me to convince him to put everything behind us. It wasn't the healthiest of relationships, but it was either that or have both of us go crazy.
"The more we stay apart the more we find something to fight about, "
We were both proud, in the past that had never been an issue since Kyle had always been ready to easily give in, but he had changed. Though for him I was willing to set that pride aside, it was becoming clearer that he would be capable of officially ending things if I kept up my act and that was just something I wasn't going to let happen. I didn't care what I had to say or do but there was just no way I was letting him go.
" I have class, " he informed me before glancing at the door. I stepped closer, then I reached out and held his hand in mine. Relationships were so fucking complicated, or maybe I was the problem.....but I was sure if we talked things through we'd be fine.
" Just say you forgive me already, "
" Class," he repeated, but then he tightened his hold on my hand and sighed, then he let go and held me by the lapels of my jacket,his expression still too stern for my liking, although if I were being completely honest, there was something hot about it. I just wished the anger wasn't being directed towards me because it was a legit turn on.
" I'll come find you after school, I wanna let everything slide and move on but we can't keep doing that. We have to talk these things through.... atleast I think we do, that's just the logical thing to do. "
Talking things through wasn't something I personally wanted to do. But if that's what he wanted then I was cool with it. I was sure Chris could wait, not like he'd be going anywhere any time soon. I offered to walk Kyle to his next class but he said he was cool. It felt like the very beginning, when I had moved there and he was just playing hard to get. And throughout the day I just kept waiting for the damn lessons to end. I thought it would be proper to inform Chris that I would likely not be able to make it. So I sent him a quick text right after the last class, and he replied to it immediately after, I had hoped he wouldn't. And in his text he had asked me why, whether there was anything wrong. I simply assured him not to worry since I was okay, that it was just something I had to tend to. And I once again assumed that was the end of it, but he literally called me like three minutes later. I had been heading out so that Kyle could easily spot me, and I stopped just outside the exit. Picking up the call, I turned around to be able to see Kyle while he was approaching.
" Hello?"
" Oh hey, I wanted to ask you something yesterday but you didn't seem to be in a good mood. "
" What is it?"
He cleared his throat, then he stuttered for a bit. I frowned, knowing damn well that one of Chris's greatest weapons was his insane level of confidence. The guy was even more confident than I was. He didn't shy away from anything. It was part of the reason why he always acted and did things without thinking.
" Kyle..."
The name had me a bit shook, but I was mostly just curious about where that was heading to.
" What about him?"
" Is he the reason you turned me down?"
That was more like the Chris I knew. And I didn't want to hurt his feelings,but it was better to just tell him the plain truth, he'd surely be able to handle it. And perhaps if he knew how things actually were he'd be able to move on from me officially and ficus more in his situation.
" He is. "
" So? What's the deal with you two?"
" He's my boyfriend, "
" It didn't seem that way to me. With how you were arguing and all. "
" Who cares what it seemed like? We're a couple and that's that. I've always loved Kyle. "
He chuckled, but there was no humor in it.
" Always. Explains why you two were always glued to each other, "
" Is that all you wanted to ask?"
I saw Kyle approaching, and I was glad that he was alone because if he had been with one of those friends of his I would have had to ask them to leave us.
" That's it, bye, "
He ended the call. I stared at the screen for a second before tucking the phone away. Kyle had been the reason Chris and I had had our first fight. And it had taken a while for me to forget about that and decide to move on, I had been angry at Kyle for leaving so abruptly, and Chris had dared to make a comment about that. He had said something about me looking lonely because my 'pet' was gone. And that one comment had been the trigger my senses had been searching for to let out my anger. I had used him as my punching bag. But he hadn't backed off either. I had already gotten into trouble twice that week, so the principal had made the choice to expell me. Chris had gotten off with suspension, but on the same day he had returned to school, he decided to pour paint on a classmate's hair. Apparently the girl had called his painting ugly during art class and he had felt offended. He got expelled that same day.
The next time we had met had been,as usual, in the principle's office of my new school. He was being admitted, and I had been called in because it was against the rules to tear the pages off the library books. I had just been amused by the animal pictures in the science textbooks. But perhaps I had gone a bit overboard. I ought to have stopped at the third book, but the more I did it the more fun it got.
He had smirked when he saw me, and i had known it was only a matter of days before we both got into trouble again for fighting. But to my surprise, he had approached me one day after school and dared me to help him super glue everyone's lockers shut. For a twelve year old looking to cause chaos, the idea had appealed to me. But after that became a success, we thought of more and more pranks to pull. It was weird, at first I had still hated him. I was just helping him out for fun and because he had dared me to, but he had been making an obvious effort to get closer to me and I thought why not?
From there, we kept ending up in the same school, and he had confessed that he was behind that. I guess that confession should have been the first obvious sign that he liked me, but I had never considered it a likely possibility.
" Have you been waiting long?" Kyle asked as soon as he got to where I was, I shook my head,then I fell into step beside him when he began walking. It felt like such a long time since he and I had done something as basic as walk together. I missed him in so many ways.
" You going to the store or will you stop by your house first?"
" Store. "
I nodded, and my feelings were a bit hurt when I tried reaching for his hand but he pulled it away. Holding onto his backpack straps instead, his focus straight ahead.
" Have you used any drugs since the last time?" He suddenly asked and I didn't bother hiding my shock. That was quite an unexpected and straight forward question. I assured him I hadn't, then he asked me whether I had had any alcohol. The passive aggressiveness behind his tone couldn't be hidden. And I was scared that one wrong word and he was going to bolt out fast without any thought.
" Don't lie to me, just be honest. "
But what if my honesty made him drift farther away?
" Are you trying to break up with me?"
" Just answer my question. "
I stopped and studied him intently. No way was I letting him slip away just like that.
" I'm not breaking up with you. And I'm guessing the answer is yes?"
" Like two shots! I swear to God, and it wasn't even on the same day, I like took one on Monday and then--"
" It's fine, you don't have to explain. And school? You still planning on dropping out?"
" No, I'm not. "
For him. I knew it was my life and this made me sound lost and crazy but yes, I only tolerated school because of him.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone