Bab 119: Chapter 116
The previous night, I had gotten him to bed before I sat next to him and got lost in my thoughts. He knew me, knew everything about me and how my mind functioned. And he was very aware that alcohol was where I drew the line. And the worst part is he had somehow upgraded all the way to the drugs scale, and not just any drugs but cocaine. I mean, weed was pretty bad,but cocaine?! Who the hell did he think he was. And he had dared to do it all behind my back. I didn't care whether it was fucking peer pressure...he knew better.
And it hurt more because I was genuinely worried about him and didn't want anything bad happening to him. Clearly he was at a very bad place mentally and I hadn't been doing anything to get him out of that place. But we spent so much time together there's no way I would have suspected anything of the sort. It wasn't surprising though, with the kind of company he decided to keep.
Austin really wasn't a bad person, I knew he wasn't. Deep down I was sure he was just frustrated and confused and he had no clue how to reflect those parts of himself because the anger he felt was always on greater levels than what would be considered normal.That was the main issue, he had no clue how to control that anger of his and it drove him to do things that were wrong and just plain stupid! And once he we up I was intending to have a very serious conversation with him.
He wouldn't be getting out of that one and he'd have no choice but to listen to me.
My mum wanted to talk that night but I told her it wasn't a good time, then I assured her we'd talk the following day so that she wouldn't say I was being intentionally rude.
The case with me was totally different from Austin's. My resentment towards my mother had a firm and sensible grounding, I didn't care what anyone else thought. I knew better than them what I felt so no one would have been able to make me feel any type of guilt fir how I treated her.
And I was always as respectful as I could be...sort of.
But anyone could see that Austin's case was nothing like mine. He just wouldn't admit that be was wrong.
I never bothered waking him up. I had simply gotten into bed beside him and tried my best to fall asleep. He really was going to be the end of me! I was conflicted, definitely enraged with him and I wanted to yell at him until he felt the disappointment I truly felt, but because he was there.....and because I had no control over my feelings and my desire to always have some contact with him, I ended up holdings onto him before I fell asleep.
I had felt him stir sometime after midnight, he had been kicking away the blanket. And he was also pretty hot so I did it for him and he went right back to sleep.
In the morning my alarm rang, I woke up with the intentions of waking him up, a task that I wasn't able to succeed in at all. He just wouldn't open his eyes. It was a Monday, we both had to be in school. But it was evident he wouldn't have been able to go in that state.
And I wouldn't have been able to leave him at home all by himself. I just couldn't do it, despite how angry at him I was. So I was forced to stay as well. And I was sure that even if he had woken up, he wouldn't have gone either. He literally woke up at ten, with a raging hangover which I was glad he had. He deserved that and much more fkr his stupid actions.
Lucky for him, I happened to have a lifetime experience dealing with hangovers. I went the extra mile for him and made him some special tea blend I sometimes made for my mum when I was in a rather okay mood. And I got him some painkillers, it was no hustle finding those either since I had stocked up on them. And it was weird passing by the living room couch for the fourth time and finding it unoccupied. I had to hand it to her, she was trying. But maybe I was cursed. When she decided to take a step back, Austin dived right in. When he woke up, he glanced around my room, looking confused. Then he turned to me and I could see him trying to recall what had occured.
It literally felt weird to be home when I knew there were other students at school in that moment, studying and everything.
" You're up. Good, " I plainly said. He rubbed his eyes and run a hand through his hair, and fkr the first few minutes he was completely quiet. As if his brain hadn't yet gone back to its normal functioning.
" Fuck!" He cursed when he found his phone on the bedstand and checked the time. Then he sat across the mattress and closed his eyes before once again falling into that deep and meditative state.
" My head's pounding, " he finally admitted.
" Serves you right, "
He turned to me, then he looked away and sighed.
" Here, "
I gave him the pills and he took them from me, but then before he could consume them, he gagged and went straight to the washroom to throw up. I want fazed by it either, so I took the pills he had left on the bed along with a glass of water and followed behind him.
" Better, "I asked once he walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet. He shook his head and proceeded to rinse his mouth as he washed his face. Then he unwillingly took the painkillers before hanging his head in the sink once more. It was clear he wasn't feeling great at all. He even attempted to sit on the floor but I guided him back to the bed.
" Try drinking that, " I gestured to the tea and he gave it a single glance and nodded. I really wanted to yell but I was considerate of him. He was like that for over half an hour, but then he started walking around and eventually he got a little better. The first thing he did was apologize, but I want having any of it. Normally I forgave him immediately after he apologized because that was something I had always wanted to hear from him, but it wouldn't work this time around.
" I don't get why you'd do something like that! " I began, putting my hand up to stop him when he tried to speak. I didn't need to head his excuses.
" Since when do you do drugs?"
He was clearly shocked that I knew. He looked at me with wide eyes, trying to assess how sure I was about what I was saying.
" Wanna deny it? "
He buried his face in both his hands and maintained that position.
" Yesterday was the first time. I swear to you."
" Well I surely can't believe you now, can I?"
" But it's the truth. "
" Is it though?....You know what day it is? We're supposed to be in school for fuckssake!"
" Take it easy, "
" Wow! If course you'd say that, it's not like you have anything to worry about after all. "
He asked me what that was supposed to mean. I wasn't the type of person that liked to either fight or argue but he had a way of driving me completely crazy. It was because I wanted the best for him, but he didn't even seem to want the best for himself.
" It means some of us have actual problems Austin! I have things to worry about -"
" I know that, "
" No you don't! And even if you know you sure as hell don't understand anything. "
He might try to deny it, but the fact would remain the same, he was privileged enough to not have to worry about anything. And it didn't matter whether he 'set out on his own ' because in his head he knew he had somewhere to go back to if he wanted. It's not like his dad could throw him out or refuse to take care of him. So no...he didn't understand anything.
" I know I messed up, but it won't happen again, "
" I don't believe that. "
" What do you want me to say? I couldn't -"
" I don't want you to say anything Austin, I want you to grow the hell up!"
The look he shot me almost made me regret those words,but I didn't because it was the hard truth and he had to be told. And I could see that legendary temper as it rose to life.
" That's too much," he commented, his tone warning me not to go there. But I had already tread foot, I wasn't pulling back.
" Get as mad as you want, it's the damn truth! "
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone