Bab 117: Chapter 114
" I don't wanna talk about this, "
" What? Don't like hearing that you were wrong?"
" Can we just forget all about that?"
" Yeah, sure.....but I'm serious, you shouldn't have reacted like that. "
He was going to insist on the topic until he felt like stopping, that's just the type of person he was. And I really didn't want to be on the receiving end of his scolding because that wasn't how it worked. I wasn't used to being the one that got criticized by him for my behavior. And having him tell me things like that way just odd because for him to feel like I had been wrong in my reaction, then I must have actually done something awful. He was a reckless rule breaker by heart so such acts wouldn't normally faze him unless they had surpassed the natural limit. And I personally didn't think what I had done was that bad. It wasn't even bad at all.
" Would you have preferred it if I chose to go with her then?"
" You know that's not what I'm talking about, "
I kept quiet because I did know. But that was my business and only I had the right to make choices on how I chose to react. I didn't think it was his place to judge me for it.
" It doesn't make sense, you always wanted her to change but now that she's trying to,you're completely uninterested. "
" I'm not uninterested, stop putting words in my mouth, "
" Then why aren't you supporting her? From what you've told me, it sounds like you don't care about what she does. "
I once again asked him to let it be. But he proved to me that something's could never change. His persistence was one of them.
" No offense, but you're basically abandoning her. "
" Okay, that's enough!"
I suppose it was because that was a really sensitive subject, but I always got very defensive and closed off whenever I had to discuss it with anyone. Kira and Max rarely ever brought it up because they knew I'd just brush it off or pretend I couldn't hear them. And what pissed me the most about Austin's claim was the fact that he was painting me out to be the bad guy. And I most definitely was not. That's just how bad the relationship between my mum and me was, he only saw the surface. Perhaps to him we seemed better than we had been and so he assumed that everything was okay, but nothing was alright.
The truth was that I harboured a grudge against my mum the same way I had held one against him for so long. Only with her, it was stronger and had been around for way longer. My entire life even. Those few days of alleged change would not convince me of anything.
In my eyes she was the same person she had always been.
" Did I strike a nerve?"
" Are you TRYING to piss me off?!"
" You know I'm not. "
" Then let this go. Seriously!"
I slid off the bed and walked over to the dressing table, sitting down across the seat so that I could still have a clear view of him. He smiled to himself and shook his head. I was trying to avoid any sort of conflict between us but he seemed to be rather searching for it. And what really made me mad was that whenever he was the one in the wrong, I tended to just let it slide because I didn't want any conflict. It's what I did. I just avoided stupid fights by choosing to forget everything that had happened. I had been doing that a lot with him lately. Like the issue with Reign, I just decided to let it go because there was no need for us to argue over such things. And I knew how affected he would be had I chosen to actually get truly mad and show it to him. But when the roles were reversed, he just wouldn't do the same.
" Chill! I'm just asking you to be a bit more considerate of your mum, barely sounds like something to get mad over, "
He really wasn't letting it go, and if he dared say anything else concerning that topic then I was afraid I'd actually get pissed off. That was one of his flaws, he hated correction, but he sure as hell loved to offer it.
Apparently, I couldn't use the phrase "let it be" , but when he was the one in the wrong, then he had every right to shut the entire topic down. It was simple, he'd just tell me he loved me and I'd decide to forget all about it. Because that was how much I cared for him. The idea of us having another falling out scared me on so many levels, he really had no idea.
" Hey, come over here, " he called out. His tone half commanding and half affectionate, the balance of those two things almost made me give in. Or was it the way he looked at me? I could see it in those grey eyes of his, it was this look of yet unattained victory, a look that said he was confident that I would eventually snap out of it and do as asked because that was the sort of relationship dynamic I had created for us.
" I'm fine right here, "
He chuckled and asked me to quit being stubborn for no reason. Threatening to come over and get me from where I was if I decided to continue acting that way. That was the issue, I realized. I loved him an incomprehensible amount. It was almost way too much, I was sixteen, but when it came to him I felt things on a level that was past what I would term as normal. And at times, I knew it was more of an unhealthy obsession. And I chose to be unhealthily obsessed because not having him wasn't an option and I didn't want it to ever be one.
" I can't believe you're picking her side! You better than anyone know what she's made me go through. "
I didn't even know why I said that, I mean, I wanted to quit talking about it, but I also felt like I needed some closure. I wanted to know whether he actually understood how I felt whenever my mother was involved. The woman had been making out with multiple people in our living room without caring whether or not I was around, and let's not talk about how she had never stood up for me when her numerous lovers would decided to use me as a punching bag. Or when she herself had drunk too much and decided to take out all her anger on me.
She had never directly said she hated me or that she had never wanted to have me in the first place, but her actions had made it clear.
" This isn't about sides, I'm just asking you to show her more support, but if you don't wanna discuss it then that's fine, I'll let it go, " he put his hands up in a gesture of peace, then afterwards he asked me to go over there once more. I chose to stay right where I was.
" Why are you mad? I'm sorry Kyle but I'm sure you also know what you're doing isn't right, "
" Wow!" I exclaimed before standing up and making my way to the door. He'd follow me, I was certain he would.
" The hell? Are you seriously that angry? Where're you going?" He asked as he got off his bed to do just as I had predicted.
I wasn't leaving, it would be wrong of me to do so after I had agreed to go over there. But it wasn't for his sake, I was thinking about Khloe and all the effort she had put into having both of us there. I just wanted some space to think clearly.
" Don't overreact, Christ! What's up with you today? You're so fucking moody!"
I inwardly gasped at his words because they legitimately angered me even more. I had thought he'd really be the one to understand me but it was the complete opposite. I glared at him before unlocking the door, and after two steps, I almost bumped into Khloe.
" Oh good, you're here. The table's been set, let's go down and eat..." I offered her a smile and nodded. Then I fell into step behind her because I knew Austin way too well. He would have probably pulled me back to stay behind so that we could clear things out, but I just didn't feel like talking anything out with him anymore.
In the dining room, he sat next to me, pulling his seat closer to mine. I could feel his eyes on me throughout the entire time but I didn't give in. His dad was yet to join us so it was just us three, with Khloe seated across from us. I didn't want to make it obvious that we had argued and I wished he'd do the same.
But it was Austin.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
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