Bab 82: Chapter 79
I didn't want to have any shred of control, I didn't want to be the one that initiated anything. Less than three seconds beneath him and the entire concept of submission flooded my mind and took over entirely. I wanted him to own me, not just my physical form but everything about him. I wanted Austin to be in charge of every single action and decision because I trusted him with my whole existence. Each touch, whether light or firm was filed with skill. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that deeply breathing into my neck would make me delirious and desperate for him, he was also well aware that each time he sucked my ear into his mouth I was going to turn wild with underplayed desire.
What on earth did the word limits even mean? I had no clue at the moment.
My heartbeat was fast... erratic. But that was mostly because I was doing something I never had before, but deep down I was glad because I was doing it with that only person I wished to be doing it with. No one else had the right to touch me or even look at me the way Austin did.
With heavy lidded eyes I watched as he kissed his way down my chest. Our gazes locked, and those eyes of his told me not to worry about anything, that it was okay. But he was also taking his time. I knew it was partly because he wanted to relish the moment and partly because he wanted to give me a chance to stop before we went too far.
" I want this, don't doubt me, " I assured him because unless I did he was going to keep it in his head.
" All of it?" I nodded, letting my eyes dart around the room as if searching for a minute object that I couldn't quite see.
" Are you certain? You won't wake up tomorrow and start--"
" I'm sure. Why can't you trust me?"
" Because I know you Stevens, " he kissed the spot right below my belly button and I sucked in a sharp breath.
" You won't avoid me, will you?"
" What are you talking about?"
" Like I said...I know you. "
It was hard to have that sort of conversation while the proof of his effect on me was so clear. For the very first time I felt like it was actually enough, not entirely, but it was as closer than it had ever been. I was hard for him and he knew it...he could see it. And all he needed to do was delete and wash away all that doubt from his mind because it didn't belong there.
" I won't, " I assured him, threading my hand into his hair, gripping the strands the same way he usually gripped mine, and I finally watched as his unsettlement disappeared, being replaced by the urgency and rawness that had been tucked away within him.
That devious mouth of his was an evil tool, and he was an expert when it came to using it. Same to his hands.
Every kiss, every suck and lick...every last stroke left me whimpering and on the verge of losing control. But just as I was about to let myself fall off that high cliff of pleasure, he stopped and pulled me back slightly. Holding onto me and making sure I didn't jump off.
He loomed over me, his hands fisted on either side of my head. And I watched as his lips parted with the intention of telling me something, but I pulled him down for a kiss. My flesh burning to touch his.
I liked that feeling of freedom and safety. Like I could do whatever I wished without worrying about what would happen afterwards. Knowing there would be no regrets only made me want everything he could offer, as long as it was him then I was willing to both give and receive in equal proportion.
My hands explored every perfect plane of his body. I liked touching him. It was a secret joy of mine. Just rubbing my hands over him made my already pounding heart pound even faster.
" Turn--" I cut him off with another kiss. There was still so much I wanted to do. I wanted to learn about him as well. He seemed to have already mastered everything concerning my reactions, he knew what to do and he accomplished it so perfectly you'd think we had done it a thousand times before. And I loved that all it took for him to make me feel comfortable was that little glint in his eyes. But those eyes were squeezed shut when I held him in my hand. My lazy strokes weren't necessarily what he seemed to prefer, but he still made it clear that he liked them. He liked the sweet torture and the pleasure he was able to extract from it.
" Kyle!" he called out almost harshly, his forehead pressed to mine and his eyes closed, then after a short while he cursed and extracted my hand from his length. I was turned around almost immediately after that.
He was the one, there was no denying that at all.
⭐❄️⭐❄️⭐
" I love you, " he said afterwards when we were cuddled inside the blankets. I was holding onto him like he was the only thread tying me to the world. Like my life was dependent on that contact. The same contact which was enough. There was no hole within me shouting and demanding for more. I had calmed down that yearning.
" I love you too, "
He leaned down and kissed my shoulder, then he placed his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.
" You've infected me with your sleep, " he casually stated. His breathing evening out as if he was seconds away from drifting off. I felt the same, the sleep I had successfully pushed away was coming back to claim me ten times over. I knew that the second I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax I'd instantly sleep.
" What day's today?" He asked, and when I told him it was Tuesday he smiled a small smile.
" I love Tuesdays, " he told me. I shook my head, my fingertips idly tracing patterns on his chest.
" I forgot to text Kira. "
" It's no big deal, you're a model student, they'll just assume you're sick because in their heads there's no way you'd miss class. "
" No they won't, especially when they realize you're absent as well. "
" You scared?"
" Of what? Let them talk, this is waaaay better than calculus. "
" Austin one, school zero! I'm loving these statistics. "
I playfully tapped his chest, laughing without meaning to. Then I sighed and looked at him, eyes still closed, that smile of satisfaction still in place.
" Thanks for being here, I was feeling extremely low before you showed up. "
" Maybe you were just horny. "
" Don't!" He laughed, adjusting the blanket so that it would cover me entirely. I knew that if I hadn't been addicted to him before then I definitely was now. There would be no letting him go. It was as if he had erased everything else that had existed in my mind and then written his name in its place.
" It's almost eight, are you hungry?" I asked him, knowing that he always left home without taking anything. But he still shook his head.
" I mean, I am, but my hunger has nothing to do with food, "
" Perv,"
" You like me all perverted baby, "
" Told you to stop calling--"
he cupped my balls and I jerked, almost biting my tongue die to the unexpected action.
" I like calling you that, so I'll keep doing it. "
I couldn't say anything, each time I tried I ended up swallowing my words and tightening my grip on him.
" You're my official boyfriend now, right? No more test periods?"
Itnwas the hope in his voice that ultimately did me in and made me nod. I knew that by agreeing to that I could have just possibly given him the power to turn even crazier. He let me go and I breathed out long and hard. And when I felt his hand on my thigh, it was in a soft and gentle touch. I snuggled even closer to him, then I looked at him one last time before closing my own eyes. That was something I wanted to experience as much as possible, everyday even. The feeling was too great, it was all I needed.
We slept for about four hours, when I woke up it was half past eleven. I felt well rested for the first time in a very long time. I couldn't recall the last time I had felt as if the sleep I had gotten was enough.
Austin woke up because I did, I stirred and he woke up to confirm what was happening, and when he learnt that I was simply waking up he did the same. I had made some mac and cheese in the morning and I decided to just go and serve him a plate instead uof asking if he wanted any. But he wouldn't let me get off the bed, in the end both of us did. We went straight to the kitchen and after I served each of us, we went back to the living room and sat on the couch. He had insisted on carrying both plates and when we got to the couch he placed them both on the table and pulled me down. I somehow ended up seated on him. I know it had been intentional on his part but I still didn't stand. There was something about that angle. I had sat on him once more before. Those days when I had been young and unaware. It had been in his mom's car, he started up an argument on who was the heavier one between us and his method of proof was each of us sitting on the other to see who could endure it more. Thinking about it now, I realized just how sneaky he had always been. He'd devise his own ways to make me do what he wished, to get me to be even closer to him. Back then I had either been too oblivious or I just pretended to be because I didn't want to bring the issue up, but I also didn't want him to stop.
" I should probably go shower, "
" Later. "
He tucked his head into my neck and took in a deep breath, assuring me that I smelt nice afterwards. He also said he was going to help me shower, and I didn't say anything. I just smiled and let the issue slide. My way if telling him yes without having to verbalize the word.
" You going to work today or will you skip that too?"
" I can't skip it. Of course I'll go."
He groaned out his frustration, then he calmed down and said it was okay. I would have not gone to the record store, but then I recalled that I had a meeting with someone and I had basically assured them that I'd be there. I wasn't the type to turn my back on the promises I made. Reign was still a mystery to me. I actually wasn't entirely convinced that we had met and talked face to face. But I was going to learn what he wanted from me because that's the only way I would be able to erase all those thoughts from my mind.
We ate, then we went back to my room and locked the door because we heard my mom waking up as well and I did not want to have to deal with any of her drama. The food had still been warm so I served her a plat and placed it on the kitchen counter together with the coffee and some painkillers. I didn't know whether or not she had been drunk the previous day but most odds said that she had. It was what my mom did.
She drunk herself to near death. Forgot about my existence entirely and hooked up with random strangers.
By the time Austin left, I felt more energetic and ready to face anything that could possibly attempt to crush my feelings. I tidied up the place because it wasn't as neat as I desired, then that evening I got ready. Chelsea was there with her boyfriend Dave again. They had been casually talking with each other but the conversation ended when they saw me. I greeted them cheerfully. Dave really did seem a bit too old for her, but it was clear that he made her happy and I didn't care if that was the case. Chelsea and I might have not been close friends but I still wanted the best for her. They left, and I went and sat down with a chemistry book in my hand. Less than twenty minutes apart yet I missed him so much already. He had found a way to mix himself with my system, to make me a hopeless addict who frequently needed a fix of him so that I could function. The following day I was going to ask him what he really did when he was away because I was sure there was something. He couldn't lie to me, just one look at him and I could tell he was lying.
A few customers came and went. Most of the people who visited the shop never really had an intention of buying anything, they just wanted to tour around and see the place. Or to ask me about something that they knew we didn't have.
We had agreed he was going to get there at seven thirty, and I kept checking my phone to read the time.
He got there half an hour early.
His outfit suggested he was trying to remain unrecognized. I suppose being a famous singer brought forth its disadvantages. He was wearing this oversized hoody, as long as a cap on his head. He kept his head bowed but I could easily tell it was him. It was his gait I suppose, the way he walked as if he owned the very floor he was stepping on. He got to the counter and looked up at me. His piercing blue eyes seemed even prettier when sheltered by the shadow of his cap. I waited for him to say something because I sure as hell wasn't planning to. It was too strange. Him just showing up there despite only having met me once had raised some serious red flags.
" Hello there, " he greeted, tapping his fingers on the counter's surface. I was just interested in knowing what he wanted to talk about.
" Hi. So what did you wanna tell me?"
" Straight to the point huh? I kinda like that. "
I narrowed my gaze at those words. Not sure why they made me feel a bit off. I told him to go ahead and tell me, but instead he tried to reach over and touch me. I stepped back immediately.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone