Bab 50: Chapter 48
Someone opened up their door and Kyle stepped back. It was his neighbor, I assumed she was heading to work since she was officially dressed, a flask in one hand and a handbag in the other. I only glanced at her for a second before I gave Kyle my entire focus, watching him keenly because his reactions would never not make me wonder. So many years had passed yet he was still the same in a lot of aspects. He realized I was staring and licked his lips, looking guilty. Like he had done something wrong, then he cleared his throat and gestured to his door, not saying a word because he knew he didn't have to.
I followed him inside, the lights were off so I waited for him to switch them on. And after he had done so, he stood right where he was. It seemed as if so much distance was between us. He was avoiding my eyes, it was his apartment but he was looking around as if the surrounding was new and unfamiliar. He raised his hand slightly and pointed at the couch.
" Have a seat, " he offered. Then he asked me whether I wanted some coffee, but I didn't feel like having anything so I shook my head. But I told him to go ahead and make some for himself if he wished.
" Nah, I'm good. '
" Sure? "
" Sure. "
I walked over to the couch and sat. I hated that he was acting distant all of a sudden. I still wasn't satisfied, I had gone there because I wanted to ease that complex yearning I had for him and at the moment I still felt as if I hadn't accomplished that. I would be required to once again make the first move. It was either that or leave with that ache inside me. All it took was a reminder that I probably wouldn't get to see him anytime soon and I was willing to do whatever it took to make the most out of those few minutes.
" I have to get ready for school, if you get bored you can leave, "
" Come here, " I beckoned for him to come closer, leaning against the couch and letting him take his time. He had said he was going to get ready, but his eyes told me he didn't want to leave. I had seen that particular look hundreds of time. It was Kyle's way of telling me that he wanted the same thing I did but if I thought he would ask for it then I had another thing coming. In other words, he wanted to get closer, but if it meant him willingly coming over then I'd better forget about it.
" Come on, " I called again. He rubbed his hand up and down his arm, then he took the first few steps to where I was. Stopping behind the couch and placing his hands on the backrest. I gazed up and met his exotic turquoise eyes, I couldn't help it, I reached my hand up and touched whichever part of him I could reach. My hand grabbing his t-shirt and my mind urging me to pull him down.
Physical touch.
Kyle and I both needed that, we craved it an abnormal amount. It didn't matter how ha I was going through because the second he touched me I always felt okay. I couldn't even explain it with words, all I knew was that I liked touching him. That I could touch him for ages and never get enough of him. I felt his hands on my shoulders, he was thinking everything over. The second he let go of all his reservations, everything would be so much simpler. But we wouldn't be us if things were easy. It was all a game. And the fact that it was based completely on reality and the truth made it all the more interesting. I lightly pulled him down, Kyle needed to believe I was the instigator of it all. He just needed a little push to get him started.
And it worked. He leaned down, placed his head on my shoulder and sighed in pure relief. His hands roamed down to my chest and he laid them palm flat on either side.
I smiled to myself, placing my hands on his and flicking my thumb over his skin. I turned to the side and came into direct contact with his cheek, so I did the natural thing and gave him a quick kiss.
" Don't get creative, " he playfully warned. It was all a ruse. He knew that asking me not to do something was one of the ways to get me to do it. He was close, much closer than I'd have expected him to get, but I still wanted more.
" Come on, sit with me, " I tapped the space next to me, letting go of him and waiting for him to do as requested. It took him a minute but he finally stood, playfully pulled my hair before he walked around the couch. And before he sat he narrowed his gaze at me in this warning way, then he shook his finger.
" I know what you're planning, don't fucking do it!"
" What are you talking about?"
" If you dare pull me down I'm gone. "
I was impressed, he knew me better than I would have thought. I had been planning on doing just that, but there is ould be no fun in carrying through with my plan now that he had figured it out. So I let him sit peacefully.
" Fifteen minutes, then I have to go and get ready. "
" I'm not going to school today, " I let him know.
I didn't mention that it would be longer than just that day, there would be too many questions and I just didn't have it in me to respond.
" Why not?"
His entire face fell, he turned sit while facing me. His hand on the space between us, his fingers inching a bit closer with every second that passed. He was trying to not make it too obvious, yet he still wanted me to see. But we were the only ones there.
" I just can't. "
" That's not really an answer, is it?"
" It's all I can give.. for now. "
He pursed his lips in bitter disappointment but didn't try to insist I tell him.
" So I won't get to see you?"
I shouldn't have smiled but I did. And he rolled his eyes and scoffed because of it. Then he grew serious all of a sudden and looked at me, he was struggling to form his words and phrases them correctly. And that made me all the more curious about what he was planning on saying.
" Will you pass by the store later then?" He asked. Hope in his voice. And in that moment I started wondering whether it was possible to just let go of my initial plan and carry through with my life normally...but my resentment and anger lit up inside me and I automatically shook my head. My bike was gone, so was my phone. He'd tried to give me a fucking curfew and he didn't care about how I'd feel. I needed to make sure he knew that I could act worse than I usually did, that when pushed I was willing to damn all consequences to hell.
" I can't, sorry. "
He slowly nodded. Looking sad and dull, then he turned his face to the side and didn't look back at me again. I felt like an awful person, and all I wanted was to see him cheer up.
" I'll call you though, we can talk for as long as you want. "
" You lost your phone, remember?"
" I'll get another one, and your number is right here, " he turned to me and I tapped the side of my head, indicating my brain. He finally smiled, then nodded his agreement. It wasn't much, but at least it was something. That wasn't the time for taunting, we had specific times for messing around, then there were times when we were open and transparent, neither willing to lurk in the darkness he so greatly preferred.
His hand finally made contact with me, and he placed it on my thigh before scooting closer. Both our eyes fell to where he so casually held me. And we stayed in silence for a while before he spoke.
" It's not enough, " he stated.
" Hmmm, I guess we could make it a video call then, but I'm not really a fan--"
" Not that, this.." he pressed the hand on my thigh. His eyes on me,and he didn't look away when I gazed back. And I was still a bit confused, but the second we made eye contact I completely understood what he meant. But I decided to be selfish for once and not make the first move, not because I didn't want to, but because it was clear he secretly wished he could.
" Fix it then, " I advised. And because I wanted him to feel more comfortable, I looked around and reminded him that we were completely alone.
" How should I fix it, exactly?"
I knew for a fact he already had something in mind, otherwise he would have never started that conversation.
" You suggest first. You don't even have to use words, show me. "
I patiently waited. And I grew nervous when he let go of me because I thought he had perhaps rethought everything. But then he stood, placed one knee on the couch and leaned closer, as if about to disclose a secret that wasn't to be overheard by anyone else.
" Golden lifesaver, " he suddenly uttered. And just like that I was taken back to five years back.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone