Bab 44: Chapter 42
" With one exception, " Kyle quickly added as I sat up. I wasn't even surprised. It would have been suspicious had he given me such a gift so freely without any restrictions.
" That's not how it works, " I tried to defend myself while thinking of something I would want from him. There were too many things, and now that I had the chance my mind was so confused that it couldn't come up with a single one.
" I think I have the right to decide how this works. "
I subtly smiled, shifting to face him completely even though he was nothing but a physical blur.
" Okay, what's the exception. "
" I'm pretty sure you know. "
" Nope, enlighten me please. "
I heard him breathe out slowly. I sensed his mild frustration because he knew I was just pretending not to know. Apparently he was fine with everything except what he actually wanted.
" Don't ask for a stupid kiss, or anything else of that sort."
" What fun is this then?"
" Just stop being such a pervert for a second and think of something. "
" Jeez! So it's fine when you do it but when I do it's suddenly--"
" Austin!"
I quickly bit my lip. His harsh tone implied he wasn't joking. I suppose that wasn't a subject he ever wanted to talk about. But it was the truth, he had started all these advanced games when he had decided to kiss me that night all those years ago. I hadn't been completely sure it had happened, but part of my mind insisted it had and that had made me more confident when it came to my actions.
Not even his stern warning was going to stop me. This might come off as arrogant, but Kyle was too emotionally invested in whatever we had to just let it slip away.
" I know what I want," I seriously informed him. It was better to just use that chance while I had it in my palm. If I postponed it, he could end up changing his mind and it would be a lost opportunity.
" I regret this already!" he muttered to himself in that low voice he didn't know was hot. Or maybe I was the crazy one for finding such a thing sexy. Without saying anything I reached over until my hand landed on him. I knew it was his arm, but I pretended I was confirming it and moved my hand around his form until I found his neck.
Then I loosely wrapped my hand around it and stood up on my knees.
He tensed, not moving an inch. The only sign that he was still there was his audible breathing. It was also a dead giveaway that even the most innocent action from me would affect him, so there was no reason to hold back. I moved closer, then he placed a hand on my chest to stop me.
" I literally just warned you about this. " he leaned his head back as if that would make me let go, but it only made me more interested. I moved even closer. So close that he was technically leaning against me. Or he could have been if he wasn't so set on pretending he was against what I was doing.
" I want you to stay still, "
From a distance, I heard the faint sound of the bell ringing. It meant that classes had officially began so we ought to make our way back, and I had been convinced he'd halt everything and leave, but it was either he hadn't heard the bell or it didn't bother him.
" What?"
" That's it. That's my wish...don't move. "
I challenged him with my tone. There was something about having control over him that had always thrilled me. It sounded a little diabolical but I liked having him at my mercy, it filled me with a foreign sense of control I couldn't find anywhere else. And up until that point, I had prided myself with the fact that I knew him so well and could map out his next move, but then he wrapped both arms around me and I realized how wrong I actually was in that assumption.
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KYLE'S POV
It was safe. I equaled darkness to safety whenever I was with him. And that safety always injected me with a unique sort of confidence which surprised even me. I knew I had shocked him because he shuddered and immediately let go of my neck. And it was a loss I felt dearly because that contact had been amazing on so many different levels.
It was when we were in such a secluded space that I got the strength to admit certain things to myself. Such as the fact that I both wanted and didn't want Austin.
He got over whatever state of shock had overcome him and I felt his hand in my hair.
" Don't try anything-"
" I get it. "
He sounded bored of hearing me say that. But with him, to had to he as repetitive as possible since he never listened. His inbuilt stubbornness always made him ignore the warnings and the rules and led him into doing whatever he felt like.
" One more thing, " I added...my voice too shallow and shaken. I sounded as if I was out of breath and all he was doing was massaging my head in the most languid manner.
But he knew what he was doing, everything he did was done with purpose and a clear intention. He didn't ask me what the last thing was, instead he leaned down and I felt his warm breath on the skin of my neck. Then the tip of his nose as he took in a deep breath. One would think I bathed in perfume...I didn't even use any of those things.
" This stays here. You can't ever mention it. "
" I know how this works Stevens. "
Thinking about it, I realized how hypocritical that made me sound. I had just warned him against either trying to kiss me or doing something worse, yet I reminded him that everything we did was to stay between us. Why would I remind him that unless I was sure something would happen?
But it was how we functioned, and he knew how to play his role surprisingly well.
" Lay back, " The words were spoken so close to my ear I couldn't help but react. That nervousness increased in size and I let go of my hold on him. I had known what I was getting myself into and I was waiting for the actual regret to hit because it still hadn't.
" What? I'm not doing that. "
I turned him down..he pushed even more. It was the entire dynamic of our relationship and it would never stop interesting me. I liked being sought after by him almost as much as I liked knowing that he was affected enough to dedicate so much attention to me.
" You're not playing fair, there's no point to your offer if you turn everything down. "
The scent of his dad's cologne was faint compared to those other days. Not knowing his next move was both thrilling and scary. But I knew that I couldn't put up too many walls because he also had his limits and would get tired of breaking through them. The entire pursuing thing was only fun if I loosened up a bit.
And I had started the entire thing, I had to see it through to the end.
It's what my stupid and untrustworthy heart wanted. I had simply wanted to cheer him up, it had actually never been my intention for things to escalate to that point.
I looked around, blocking all the thoughts that would have intruded my mind and made me put an end to it all. Then I felt the tips of his fingers on my chest as he pushed me back. Sometimes it was impossible for either of us to know how things would turn out when we were together. And I was almost positive that he didn't have any sort of plan. He was just running on impulse and desire. One of the most dangerous combinations that existed because anything went. We could do things we wanted to do...or we could do things that we'd regret.
I gasped. He was literally on top of me!
In the entire span of our relationship, he had only ever been in that position twice before. And it had been uncomfortable for me because it had made me feel too many complex things. And my mind had been too young to comprehend any of them.
But now that he was in the same position, I was able to understand what I felt clearly.
He planted both hands on either side of my head, then he leaned down. I knew things were serious when he pressed his forehead to mine.
" I'm pretty sure I asked you NOT to do this!"
I was so worked up and it showed through my tone.
" Sue me then, " he teased.
It was the little details that were making it difficult for me to breathe evenly. The fact that I could hear and feel him breathing in. Having his body heat mesh with mine. Knowing that he had the ability to do way more. And that he likely would. A fact that he confirmed when he sought out my hands and linked them with his.
" I hope you know that the bell rang. Don't blame me if you miss your class, " He informed me. And I wondered what he was planning to do. And how far I was willing to let him go before it became too much.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone