Bab 54: Chapter 52
I was finally done with school for the day. Kira had literally asked me what was wrong, and after i told her I was fine, she had done what Kira does best and stated the obvious.
" Oh I get it, your hot Austin is absent today, isn't he?"
I ignored her because sometimes Kira had a way of bothering you until you lost it. She could very skillfully get on your nerves by simply stating the obvious facts. And I didn't want to prove her right so when she started her remarks on her personal thoughts I excused myself. School ended and I went straight to the store, getting there earlier than I ought to because I had nowhere else to go apart from home. And home was not an option. Recently I liked to spend as less time there as I possibly could. It seemed like the best way to avoid unwanted conflict with my mom.
Chelsea had peered behind me when I walked in. It was clear she was confirming whether Austin was with me or not, and I wasn't okay with that the same I wasn't okay with the girls back at school randomly talk about Austin and how each one was apparently his type. They were all completely wrong, and simply listening to them made me angry. But I was good at hiding what I really felt, especially when there was no reason to overreact.
I assured Chelsea it was okay for her to go, and I stood by and waited for her to gather her things before she finally left. Although I got the feeling she had wanted to either tell or ask me something. I would have asked what it was but I didn't. We weren't really friends and it would have just been weird to start talking all of a sudden.
After she had left, I had tried to busy myself with my assignment and a bit of reading. But most if not ally attention was on my phone. I couldn't recall the last time I had missed someone so seriously. It didn't even make sense to me since we had been with each other just that morning. Yet I felt as if ages ahs passed since I saw those grey and alluring eyes that had always and would forever b th objects of my demise. He weakened me just by existing. And I knew I wasn't going to be okay until he fulfilled his promise and called me. And I wished for that day to come to an end so that I could finally see him again.
By the time nine hit, I was dying inside.
I was the pure definition of a lovesick teenager who was afraid of getting his heart broken by the person he trusted the most. He had assured me he would call, and by doing so he had implanted this anticipation within me that was impossible to overcome. The only thing I wanted was to hear his voice. And I suspected it was another one of his mind games to get me to miss him so much more. Even the fact that I'd be seeing him the following day wasn't enough to calm me, I just needed him to call. But he didn't, ten hit and I closed the store, then I slowly began making my way home. Were it not for the fact that there were always people around in the street, I would never have accepted to work so late. Just the thought of me walking home by myself with no one around was creepy. I wouldn't have been able to survive a week.
Once I got home, I found my mom literally passed out on the stairs. So I tapped her awake and helped her get inside the apartment where I took her to bed and tucked her in. It was something I was used to so I didn't give much thought to it. If it wasn't the stairs then it was outside our door, a few times it had been outside the building itself.
Everyone knew she was my mom so there had been instances where a kind neighbor knocked on our door after I had gone to bed to inform me that my mom was passed out somewhere in the building. I had always and would forever be humiliated but that. But I had no control over it so all I could do was suck it up and handle the situation how it ought to be handled. I changed, got i to bed and laid on my back. My phone on my chest where I would clearly hear and feel it vibrate. He couldn't have lied to me, he had promised and one thing we never did was break promises made to each other. And if he had lied then I was never going to forgive him for it. I knew I sounded illogical but he did that to me. The extent of my feelings for him was too deep to comprehend. He would never really know and I would never tell him because it wasn't something that could be put into words. I ended up falling asleep. Feeling disappointed and pissed off,yet trying to understand that he didn't have a phone and had probably not gotten a new one yet. That he hadn't done so intentionally and the following day he was going to explain everything in a manner I found acceptable and I would inevitably forgive him because it was Austin and I needed him in ways neither of us could comprehend.
But he did call.
I heard the phone ringing from a distant part of my brain, and I didn't know whether it was real of not. I was extremely sleepy and I had been thinking about my phone ringing so much I assumed it that need had followed me to sleep. But then I lazily,and with significant trouble, opened my eyes. The sleep tried to make me shut them once again, but the second I saw the light from my phone, I knew it was him. There was no one else who could call me at such an hour.
I had slept with the phone on my chest but it had ended up ony covers next to me somehow. The number was foreign, which meant that it really was him. I swallowed, then I placed the phone next to my ear and answered it. My eyes half closed and my other hand on my pounding heart.
" It's way past midnight," were the first words I said. I heard him sigh. Then he chuckled and apologized.
" I had something to take care of first. "
" What? "
" I'd rather not say. "
This Austin was filled with secrets and I hated it. But I wouldn't insist because he didn't want me to.
" I thought about you a lot today though. "
I smiled on hearing that, and I thought if what I should say in return. Something that wasn't also a confession because that was more of Austin's playing field.
" I thought you weren't going to call. "
" And risk loosing whatever piece of my sanity I have left? "
I scoffed and shifted to lie on my side, fighting to conceal my smile. He made me feel things I had never felt with anyone else. Things I only ever wished to feel with him because that way they were all the more meaningful and special.
" You sleepy?" he asked and I wondered whether he was serious. He'd just woken m up, of course I was sleepy.
" What do you think? "
" Okay, I just wanted to hear your voice, goodnight--"
" That's it? You woke me up for that?"
" Why? Is there anything I'm forgetting?"
I licked my dry lips and held the phone as tightly as I could. Wondering whether or not to say what was on my mind. I could almost feel him waiting eagerly on the other side. Interested to know what I'd say. In the end I stopped thinking it over so much and just said it. What was the harm anyway?
" I wanna hear more of your voice. "
He went silent for a while,like he was processing what I had just said.
" I like that. "
We both went silent. I honestly didn't know what to say. Had we been joking around I'd have said something for certain, but the mood was different. And I sucked when it came to such things.
" Can I tell you something?"
I narrowed my gaze, feeling a bit weary. But then I told him to go ahead and say it.
" I like you. "
I smiled and shook my head.
" You already told--"
" I really really like you Stevens. "
There was something about the emphasis. It bore truth and transparency. From his tone alone I could tell he was being honest.
" I always have. "
" I know. "
" I don't think this is normal. I feel a bit psychotic when I think about it. "
" Then we're both crazy I guess. "
It was odd because earlier I had been thinking the exact same thing. How I missed him so much I was willing to do anything to see him again. Had he gone for a week it would have been understandable ,but it was only one day.
" Goodness Austin! Why are you so damn far?"
" We'll fix that soon. Won't we?"
I pursed my lips to prevent myself from saying anything else. I would have asked him what he meant by fixing things but he was probably trying to jumble up my brain.
" You know, I stayed back intentionally. "
" What? "
His half statements were a bit unnerving. Why not just say everything as it was.
" On that field trip, when we were kids. I stayed behind intentionally. "
He took the crown when it came to random comments. I chuckled and shook my head, the I sighed and responded.
" I know. "
Because I did know.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone