Bab 40: Chapter 38
He keenly watched as I reached over and took the box of crackers. Then I took out one piece and dipped it into the peanut butter. I was on my knees,my free hand on his shoulder for support. Support which I didn't really need because I could balance just fine without holding onto him. But I wanted to.
After I was done I sat back down, then I stared at the cracker and almost rethought my intentions. But an idea had popped into my mind and I was determined to see it through. There's no way I was going to let an entire day pass by without him feeling uncomfortable at least a few times.
" I'll eat this.." I told him. My eyes on the cracker, he looked at it as well before shifting his gaze to me and narrowing his eyes.
" Changed your--" he began to speak but I cut him off.
" But on one condition. "
He didn't even wait for me to go on before he shook his head and told me to forget it. But I had come to the realization that if I ever wanted to get anywhere with Kyle, all I had to do was ignore hos protests.
He never meant them. Actually, most of the time he meant the opposite of whatever he said. He just didn't want it to seem as if he was playing along when that was exactly what he was doing.
I sat up on my knees again. He was busy pretending to watch that boring show of his. Watching me from the corner of his eyes and preparing his body to react in whichever way would be necessary if I did anything unexpected.
Which I obviously did.
Shifting, I moved to the space between his legs. He immediately tried to push me away from him, and I ended up almost falling on my back which made him feel guilty and he held onto me. Then he shook his head and tried to move away.
" Seriously Austin?!" He demanded, sounding a bit pissed because I had messed with him too much already. Since we picked him up for school until the classes ended. I had used every opportunity I got to either do or say something that had his ears turning crimson.
" You can't keep doing this!" He whined. Groaning out his frustration when I hooked two fingers into his neckline and kept him in place. And when the laughter came I didn't try to stop it.
" Stay put! " I commanded. Then I told him he had to make it up to me for drinking almost my entire glass of milk.
" You don't even like milk!" He countered, leaning his head back because in his mind I was too close and anything could happen. The things I'd do just to be able to see inside his thoughts for a mere ten minutes. I wanted to know how his mind functioned and why he reacted the way he did. Or better yet, I wanted to confirm my own theory on why he did react that way. Because even though he was complaining and demanding that I stop, he wasn't making much of an effort to push me away. It was just the hand he had on my chest, that was literally the only physical sign of protest that he was portraying. That along with his words. But his eyes were saying something completely different.
I smiled in the way he hated. He always said I looked like a villain from a movie when I smiled like that. That it was just dark and I should stop. He frowned, then he asked me what my problem was and.why I had to be that way. Adding that there was no reason for me to keep messing with him like that because he hated it.
Then after he was done complaining he looked at me with pleading eyes. There was no one forcing him to stay put. If he wished to, he could have put some actual effort into getting off the bed and going somewhere else, but instead, he had actually widened the space between his legs so that I could fit easier. Those were the little telling cues that I searched for because they told me he did want me there. Even if he yelled and shouted, he wanted me there.
And he followed every action I made, watched as I slowly brought the cracker to my lips. And before I bit into one end, I looked up at him and said, " Bite it, "..then I held a tiny fraction of it between my teeth and waited for him to act.
He turned to the door, it was locked so he didn't have to worry about my mom walking in in us. He had been extra worried about that since the previous weekend when he came over and we ended up falling asleep while watching some lame movie. We had been on my bed,and it was broad daylight..but my mom had walked in on us. Kyle had been so tensed when she tapped him and he opened his eyes to find his arms wrapped around me and his legs imprisoning my own. He worried that my mom had gotten the "wrong" impression so he had resolved to being a lot more careful and acting as if our friendship was as normal as any other.
He pursed his lips, his eyes on the cracker before he shot daggers at me with them. And hen he took too long to act, I pulled him closer and he willingly moved. Darting his gaze to the door one last time because he still needed that reassurance that we were hidden from the world and everyone else in it. That we were the only ones who would ever know what happened behind those closed doors and that we could trust no one else with that knowledge.
In Kyle's eyes and thoughts, whatever we did was wrong and had to be kept secret because there was no way others would understand.
He absentmindedly swiped his tongue over his lips, I caught the action and it made me place a hand lightly on his waist. That limit I was well aware of warned me against tightening my hold. That would be too much, he wouldn't be comfortable with it.
I waited, and I watched as countless emotions and arguments flashed across his innocent featured before he finally leaned in closer and bit the other end of the cracker. Only taking off a tiny piece because he was set on ensuring his lips got nowhere near mine. I watched as he chewed and swallowed it. Then he waited for me to move away,but I didn't. Instead I pulled him towards me once more, stopping when his lips were close enough to the cracker. My entire focus was on him, I looked at his eyes because if I let my own lower to his lips then I'd start feeling all weird again.
" Last time, " he informed me in a whisper-like voice. I didn't nod because I'd be the judge of when his last time would be. And judging by how things were going, we were going to be at it for quite a while.
He once again but off a tiny part, leaning back immediately after because he could feel the same thing I was feeling. The difference between us was that whereas I was thrilled by that feeling, he was terrified of it.
" Happy now?" He asked even though he knew quite well I wasn't. He very well knew what I wanted him to do. Those little nibs were not going to be getting him anywhere and he knew it. Shaking my head, I leaned towards him until he was leaning against the headboard. Then he called out my name.
His tone soft and unsure.
I couldn't say anything because of the cracker I was holding, but even if I wasn't holding onto it I doubt I would have said anything. I didn't want it to seem as if I was the one making him do anything. I wanted it to come from him, that way it would both seem and feel more natural and earnest.
For the third time he glanced at the door. And his gaze remained there for much longer than usual,and when he turned to me again there was something different in the lovely turquoise of his. He swiftly reached up and made me let go of his shirt, then with the same swiftness he placed my hand on his cheek.
He also wants sure of what he was doing or why he was doing it. And I knew for a fact only two things were making him carry through with his actions. The first one was the fact that no one else was around. That we were the only ones there in that moment. And the second one was the fact that we were never going to bring any of that up in the future at all. Once it was over it was officially over. We had to forget about it until the next time I messed around with him and led him to do something else.
" This is the actual last time, " he declared. And he must have decided to just get it over and done with because without pause,he leaned forward and bit into way more than half of the cracker. His lips actually brushed against mine before he pulled back and busied himself with chewing it. My hand fell to the side, my fingers twiddling with themselves because I missed the feel of his skin.
I did the same with the remaining tiny piece. And after I swallowed, I stayed put. He gave me around two minutes to move, and when he noticed I wasn't doing so, he huffed out a tired breath and asked me what else I wanted.
I smiled, he grew nervous and stoic.
And without thinking, I leaned in with the intention of kissing his cheek in the playful manner we were used to. But he looked up and I somehow ended up kissing his neck.
It felt way more different than I would have expected it to.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone