Bab 10: Chapter 9
AUSTIN'S POV
The library wasn't exactly a place I liked to be. There were way too many books for my liking, and books were not my thing. Never had been. I stood outside for a while to respond to a text Miles had sent. I didn't need or want friends but we lived in the same neighborhood and he apparently had sources to link me to something I was desperate for. So I automatically realized I ought to play nice with him and keep him close.
After we finished our conversation I stepped into the silent room filled with with students who actually seemed to enjoy flipping through pages of information. Information that would most likely not be of any help in their future.
And among them was Stevens. He was the main reason I was there, I spotted him the second I walked in. Seated at a table, there was another student seated there as well but it was clear they weren't friends.
I inwardly smirked and moved closer, glad that he was facing away from me. And when I got to his seat he straightened his back and stopped writing. Then he slowly turned around, like he knew I was there. He saw me and his unblinking eyes remained on my features. I saw fear in those turquoise depths. Then I leaned down and planted my hands on either side of him on the tables' surface. Keeping him restrained.
His face was drained of color and he seemed seconds away from having a panic attack. Actually, had it not been for his reactions whenever I was that close, I doubted we would have ever been as close as we had been as kids. But I had noted them and grew fascinated. My young mind had gotten curious and wished I explore. I was glad that I had because otherwise I would have lost a chance to know him.
He tried to push his chair back but I wouldn't budge. The guy on the other side of the table was glancing at us, trying to hide his shock. And him along with everyone else in that room had clearly jumped to the most obvious conclusion.
" Please stop, " Kyle pleaded. It was literally a plea, no harshness. He sounded as if he was suffering and I was the only one capable of ending it for him. And I knew I should have listened and let him be, but I was feeling entertained.
He was refraining from glancing back because he knew my face would be right there and he clearly didn't trust me. His discomfort was strong enough to be sensed from miles away.
" Austin please, " His voice was a whisper, and I wasn't sure whether it was because we were in a library or because of my proximity. His hand instinctively reached for his ear but he somehow managed to put it back down, then he gripped the tables' edge until his knuckles turned white. I leaned in, my lips brushing against the cartilage of his ear, shocked at the intense pink shade that could be seen from even the furthest distance.
" Why so tense?" I asked. Then I marvelled at the shudder that coursed through him. He reached for my hand and tried to get me to let go of the table so he could get a chance to flee. I gripped the wood more firmly.
" Why are you doing this?!" It was a whisper but the icy words were dripping with anger and seriousness.
" I missed you,"
The confession had him turning around to face me, but he looked away immediately after and squeezed his eyes shut.
" If you don't let me go I'll call the librarian over. "
" Go ahead. "
I heard some whispers and murmurs around but I didn't pay much attention to them. I didn't care enough to. But Kyle obviously did.
" Get off me!" He didn't bother to whisper this time, and everyone turned to look at us more openly unlike before when they pretended to be studying.
He tried to lean forward to ensure there was distance between us. With one hand still on the table, I wrapped the other around his shoulders from the front and pulled him back against his seat. He was seething by that point.
" Stop avoiding me Stevens, " I spoke the words into his ear and he stilled. And I felt his rapid heartbeat with the arm I had around him .
" Miss Deynah! " He suddenly shouted but I ignored him.
" Wait for me outside after school, if you don't I'll keep bothering you until you graduate."
" Kyle?" A short lady appeared, then she frowned and asked us what was going on. I immediately let go of him and took a step back. Then glanced around the room before I walked out.
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In all earnesty, I hadn't expected him to show up. I had been sure he wouldn't, especially not after what I had just done . I assumed the level of anger he had for me had just dramatically increased. Couldn't blame him though. But then I saw him as he strode towards me after school that day, an unreadable look in his face. But the closer he got the more I saw the rage and felt the fury that steamed from his pores. Hot enough to burn me. He was only making me more interested.
" This is getting out of hand! " he angrily remarked once he got to where I was standing. His blue long sleeved t-shirt reminding me a lot of the rules of clothes he had always liked to wear. Even as children he always tended to lean towards the long sleeves. I had found out why after some time and the reason had angered and upset me. But now I wondered why that certain habit was yet to change.
" Don't shout, " I calmly said when he was about to do just that, he looked at me. Pegged me with a serious stare, then he narrowed his gaze and inclined his head slightly to the side. Like he was studying me and try to figure something out.
" What's wrong?" He surprised me by asking. He was unable to hide the concern he felt, he tried to but failed. I knew him too well.
" I just wanted to talk to you--" he shook his head and cut me off.
" No, I mean.. what's wrong. You're not okay so what's up with you?" He tried to make it sound casual but once again failed.
He did care.
I shrugged and told him I was good. He brought up yesterday's incident and I told him to forget about it. That it was nothing.
" You nearly killed him, "
" I had it under control, "
" No you didn't! "
" Just let it be, "
" You can't go around doing things like that, "
" You're here," I finally said. Then I gave him a subtle smile and he frowned, blew out a breath and reached for the strap of his backpack. Tucking the other hand into his blue jeans and darting his gaze across the ground. He really hadn't changed, apart from his physical appearance which had gotten even better, and his confidence which had somehow improved, he was the same. At least with me.
" Walk with me?" I asked. Such a familiar question, one I had asked him countless times in the distant past. He remembered it, he looked up at me and I saw the Kyle he had been.
My Kyle. My Stevens.
" Didn't you ride your bike to school?"
" I did, but Miles already took it home. "
Something flashed across his face, something I instantly recognized because it wasn't the first time seeing it. But it was gone immediately after and I didn't bring it up, there was no need to. He slowly turned towards the gate and started walking with slow steps, his way of letting me know that I could join him. And I did, I fell into step beside him and it was as if nothing had changed. As if no time had passed, and up until that moment I hadn't really realized how much I had missed him.
" That was you the other night, wasn't it?" He suddenly asked and I frowned. Then I understood what he meant and smiled to myself.
" With the bike? Yeah, sorry about that. "
" You also left that note. "
" I did. "
" You nearly ran over me. "
" I knew what I was doing, you had no reason to worry. "
" It was intentional then?"
I shrugged, then I reached up and wrapped my hand around his nape, he shuddered once more and tried to pry my hand away but I didn't let go.
" It was, " I admitted and he turned to me with a look I was unable to read. There was still some ice between us and I wanted to know what it would take to melt it complete it. I didn't want it there, I wanted him to treat me the way he did before everything fell apart. I wanted his friendship because there was no way I was going to be in the same school as him and pretend as if he didn't exist. Because even after five years I still regarded him my best friend, I always had and always will. That was something that would never change. If only he'd stop being so difficult.
" You're stalking me?"
The question must have been intended to be serious but I also caught hints of humor in it. And I liked that.
" What if I am?"
" That's creepy. "
" You always liked the attention. Am I wrong?"
He reached up and touched his ear and I openly smiled. He really was the same, if you placed aside the anger he had somehow managed to hold onto for five years then he was the same.
" My number?"
" A random girl from your class, she wanted me to kiss her cheek in return. "
" That's even creepier. "
" Isn't it though?"
He chuckled and shook his head, then he turned to me and held my gaze for two seconds before he looked past me to the distance. He always did that, could never hold eye contact.
" Did you miss me?" I risked asking. He hang his head and I flicked my thumb over his neck, watched as he nervously swallowed and closed his eyes for a second. Like he was figuring out what to say, or he had already figured it out but wasn't sure whether to say it or not.
" There are chances you came to my mind once or twice."
" You were in my mind a lot. "
He immediately turned to me, his lips parted. He seemed confused. I'm sure he thought I was lying.
" It's the truth Stevens, "
We fell quiet after that. I knew we were going to his apartment building, I had seen him walk into it last night. I wasn't lying about the stalking although I didn't like to think of it as such. I was only making sure he got home safe. I needed that ice broken and I wasn't going to rest until it was. I hadn't been sure there was hope before but now I knew there was. He was a good person, always had been. Sometimes too good. But I had never come across anyone like him, even after he left. There was literally no one that was able to take his place, the friends I had from that point onwards were the exact opposite of him.
" We're here, " he said as he stopped and turned to face me completely. I told him that I knew and he shook his head. Then he seemed to wonder what to do, and when he came up short he waited for me to talk.
" Can we start over? Please?"
He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. Then he glanced up at the sky and closed his eyes.
" Austin.." the way he said my name implied he didn't even know what to do. He was conflicted, and I was sure that if i didn't say anything then he would have told me that what I wanted was impossible. But I could also see that he was tempted to say yes.
" It's been five years. I was eleven, "
" So I'm supposed to what? Move on?"
" My point exactly. "
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Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone