Bab 15: Chapter 13
" He's changed okay? "
" How many times have you said that?! Guys like him never change!"
" You don't know him like I do!"
" I don't need to know him to see that he's a useless jerk!"
" Watch your mouth!"
I groaned my frustration, pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes and wondering what to do.
" Do you have any idea how long I saved to be able to buy those groceries?"
The low tone of my voice was barely controlled, I could no longer stand to be in that same room. It felt like my mother had made it her lifetime goal to make my own life as difficult as it could be and I couldn't stand it anymore. There was only so much I could take. Timmy was basically a dealer, and in addition to making my mom his personal punching bag, he had almost made her get addicted to whatever shit he sold. She couldn't get back together with that guy.
" All this because of stupid groceries?" She rolled her eyes and started to walk away, " Grow up Kyle!"
" No,YOU grow up! " she stopped and slowly turned to face me. Then she asked me to repeat what I'd just said but I wasn't in the mood to fight, I still had to get to work. My shift was about to start, and considering the fact that there were no groceries to use, tere was nothing for me to do there. I left,she was shouting behind me but I ignored her and went to pick up my backpack. She said something about me not returning to the house but it wasn't the fist time I had heard it, plus she had a job to get to, unless of course she decided to intentionally get herself fired. I wouldn't be surprised if she actually did that. She made it so difficult to love her. I was trying my best! I was always trying my best! And now all I felt was that unfiltered anger and the desire to get as far away from her as I possibly could. I didn't want to be in the same room with her, I cared for her and I still cherished her but she was making it difficult for me to think clearly.
I slammed the door behind me and hurriedly went down the stairs, taking two at a time because the more I was in that building the greater the feeling inside me grew. I already had enough to worry about. What with Austin and my studies and my work! I didn't need something new popping up every day. But why did she have to be like that? Why couldn't she change, even if it wasn't for my sake because I knew quite well I wasn't on her list of priorities. Why not try to be better for her own sake? For her own wellbeing.
And she and I both knew that Timmy hadn't taken those groceries for his kids but rather for himself, the mere fact that she had let him do so was what hurt the most. But I was set on not letting her get to me. I had she'd enough tears for her, she had made me go through shit that most wouldn't even imagine yet somehow I had always stuck by her. But I wasn't going to let her keep doing things like that to me, I want going to let her keep using and hurting me!
When I got to the store, I was just as angry, or even more than I had been when I left the apartment. Chelsea said hi but her attention was on her phone. She hardly glanced up, I stood by as she picked up her things, then she left and I took over her spot at the counter. Burying my head in my hands, I tried to reign it all in. I had to focus. I took in a deep breath and blew it out, taking out my books afterwards and trying to come back to my normal state of mind. Normally when I got upset I was unable to concentrate on anything else. The cause of my current state kept replaying itself over and over in my mind, and it was coming at me in the form of spite and anger and frustration all rolled into one unhealthy wrecking ball. I stood and paced the space, reminding myself that I was turning seventeen that year, and that by the end of the following year I would be free to go wherever I wanted and so whatever I wished to do. Away from that woman. She had made my life a living hell for long enough. I groaned when I didn't know what to do with those concentrated emotions, my arms suddenly became itchy and I felt like I was drowning in a deep pool of hopelessness.
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AUSTIN'S POV
I parked my bike outside the recked store, stalling for a couple of minutes before I decided to walk in. I knew he wouldn't want to see me,but I couldn't help it. I headed for the entrance and slowly walked in. Letting go of the knob and turning to confirm that the door had shut itself. It was a little cold, the weather there was as confusing as everything else, I didn't like inconsistency and that was exactly what it was. It never stayed the same, making it impossible for me to predict how it was going to be next. The first place my eyes landed was the counter, he was seated there, a pencil in his hand...but something was wrong. Three years by his side had practically turned me into a manual on Kyle Stevens. I knew almost everything he did and why he did it, I was aware of the reasons behind his actions and I could always note when something was wrong. And at the moment something was very wrong.
He dug a hand I to his hair and grilled the strands hard enough to rip them out of his skull, then he let go and dropped the pencil on the counter, and with keen eyes I watched as he scratched his arms like his life depended on it. I cautiously walked up to where he was, then I stood Infront of the counter and he immediately looked up and saw me.
" Not tonight Austin!" He stopped scratching even though he clearly still wanted to, then he went to pick up the pencil and I realized it was in two pieces, like he had broken it without realizing. He placed one piece aside and took the sharpened one, then he opened up his books and flipped through countless pages before he stopped, ran a hand over his face and tried to focus on whatever the writings were saying.
" Stevens?" I carefully called out his name,he looked at me and arched a brow, then he gestured to the door and asked me to please leave.
" I have a lot to get done, I don't have time for this. "
" What happened?" In the past there had only ever been one reason why he acted as he currently was. And that reason was in the form of a female that didn't deserve him in her life, one that didn't seem to appreciate the rare gift she had but rather took it for granted. But it had been five years, surely it couldn't still be her.
He shook his head before flipping through more pages. He looked as agitated as I'd ever seen him, and he was so on edge I didn't even know what to say or do.
" Talk to me, "
" Just stop!" He suddenly shouted, then he dropped the pencil once more and stood up,both hands going to his hair. He had to calm down, I watched as he started scratching his arms again and immediately walked around the counter to where he was.
" No, don't come near me, you get that?"
I put my hand up in a gesture of peace at the strict warning. He was pointing his finger at me, his tone as harsh as I'd ever heard it.
" What happened?" I risked asking, he turned around and placed both his hands on his waist. Then he hang his head and tried to regain his composure.
" Had it been the younger version of him I would have done what I always used to do when he came to me in such a state, something he had asked me to do once and that I had become accustomed to doing each time he became as agitated as he currently was.
" Hug me?" He had once asked me when we were ten and I found him seated alone in an empty class during lunchtime. And since then all I had to do when he was out of it was wrap my arms around him and assure him that everything would be okay. But this Stevens was angrier, more agitated. And he was no longer ten. I knew there was only one way to approach the situation and that was to let him calm down by himself first. So I stood there and watched him until my eyes fell on something in the corner. There was a white sheet covering it but I was certain I knew what it was. I glanced around, then I made my way towards it and uncovered it. My guess was proven correct when I saw the old piano underneath the white sheet.
My mom had been a piano teacher, she'd hold her classes in our house while I was in school, then afterwards she'd come to pick Stevens and me up and we'd go back home and find freshly baked cookies or cupcakes waiting for us. The memories were so vivid it was overwhelming. I sat down and for a while I simply stress at the keys. So many times she had forced me to sit and practice, so many times I had whined and tried to get her to realize that I wasn't interested. It had never been my thing. I struck one key, then another...then another. I wasn't playing, I was just randomly pressing the keys and creating more of a screeching sound than any kind of music. I stopped for a second to sit more comfortably before I continued messing around.
" You forgot. "
His voice finally said, I stopped playing and turned to face him,he was standing in exactly the same spot he had been at, but he looked a little better now. I turned to the piano and shrugged.
" It's been a while, "
Five years to be exact. I hadn't forgotten though, it was impossible for me to forget after all the hours I had spent on that instrument.
" Does your mom still teach?"
His eyes were on mine, the turquoise still looked troubled. His eyes fell on his books and he walked over to them and picked up the two pencil pieces, holding them in his hand and staring at them as if he didn't understand how they had ended up in such a state. I chuckled sadly and turned back to piano, playing two more random keys before I clasped my hands together on my laps and turned to him, a sad smile on my face. I had come to terms with what I happened and I no longer dreaded having to say it out loud, something I had never been able to do in the distant past.
" No, she doesn't, " I briefly explained. He seemed disappointed,then he asked me why she had stopped as he leaned against the counter, facing me.
He still wasn't okay, he was trying to distract himself.
" Just some awful circumstances that couldn't be helped. "
He frowned, then he asked me whether it was confidential and I shook my head.
" She's gone Stevens, "
The frown intensified. He blinked and stood up straighter, I could see his mind as it pushed aside all those presumptions, choosing to remain optimistic. He said nothing though, he just stood staring at me as he waited for me to expound on what I meant.
" Brain tumor, it was in the late stages when they discovered it. "
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
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