Bab 67: how could I be make the lemons better
Hey everyone this is quite obviously not a chapter so I been checking out some games and other books and I just been wondering if there is anything I could improve when it comes to lemons related stuff.
Like for example should I include more talking or more dirty words because fr my version of Kiri is probably into that.
Should I try messing around with bigger words so let's say for example
How I would write this"He pushed it inside her right against her womb. He gripped onto her ass harder and he slid in and out of her"
How it would sound with bigger words aka fancy words." He started to slide into her tight hole feeling her walls clamping down on his dick. He place his hand on her ass that was covered from sweat gripping the best he could. Her walls clenched harder from the feeling of his hand on her ass"
That was just an example but I just wanted to hear from you the reader is there anything I could be doing better and don't be shy about what I could be doing better.
Anyway thanks for listening to this quick little thing. Avatar will probably be late a bit I'm a bit behind on hazbin hotel but yeah see you all next week
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone