Bab 28: PTSD (1)

"Mrs Cassian!"

Covering her head with the pillow, Madeline tried to stop her ears from perceiving the neverending knocking on the door. Whoever was standing out there seemed adamant on waking her up, followed by the voice that kept calling her by her marital name.

"Mrs Cassian!" Came the voice again. Her uncle's servants barely had the time to disrupt her sleep, most especially in such an early morning like this, so who could it be??

"Good morning Lord Cassian." Madeline could hear the butler pass his greetings onto Cassian who had opened the door and saved her from responding to the butler.

It jolted her brain into realizing that she was no longer in Roland's home.

"It's almost 8am, you two should be downstairs for breakfast. I already covered up for the both of you last night, I can't do the same today... Lord Cassian, you ask for too many favors from a mere butler like myself."

Madeline could hear the conversation going on between Cassian and the butler. It seemed like Cassian himself doesn't enjoy having breakfast with the family as well.

"Just this once. I'll come up with an excuse that the new lady is feeling under the weather, hence her reason for not showing up for breakfast. It is a peaceful morning and I am not interested in witnessing another episode of civilian barrack."

Cassian pressed his lips into a thin line, trying his possible best not to react to Fredrick's drama. It was difficult to tell who was more dramatic between Fredrick and Amadeus.

"Oh stop being a drama queen Fredrick!" A blonde-haired woman came into sight with a maid by her side. "You are interrupting the newly Weds, give them some privacy will you!" She quickly scolded Fredrick before turning her attention to Cassian who was leaning against the door, hands in his pocket.

"Lord Cassian, please do not worry about a thing, I will personally get the servants to bring your breakfast up the stairs. Fredrick usually gets the loose screw since he wakes up at 4am, let's not blame him."

"It's called keeping to time, Adeline." Fredrick adjusted his neck bow tie which earned him a gawking stare from the housekeeper.

"Thank you, Ms Adeline." Cassian finally said something to the young housekeeper, and that made Fredrick stare in disbelief.

"She gets a thank you from the young lord and I get nothing?"

"Fredrick!" Cassian drawled his name, rolling his eyes at Fredrick's sudden jealousy.

"Come with me, we have a family to attend to." Grabbing Frederick's wrist, Adeline took him down the stairs while Cassian shook his head hopelessly. It was difficult not to get cracked up when having talented comedians for workers.

Closing the door, he looked at the bed to find Madeline sitting up. Her fingers had snatched the duvet and her expression displayed a bit of anxiousness, as though she was clueless on how she ended up on the bed.

'Did I sleepwalk again?' Her eyes widened at the thought and her fingers let go of the duvet. Cassian studied her expression as they switched gradually. He knew something was off with her, and judging from what he witnessed last night, he was hoping she wouldn't keep it from him.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Cassian's voice snapped Madeline out of her daze, and she lifted her head up to look at the young lad who was walking towards her direction. She blinked in astonishment after noticing the button in his white shirt had been undone.

He was dressed in a spotless white shirt, putting on a black waistcoat that he hadn't buttoned yet. He wore the matching trousers and his tawny hair, as always looked unkempt, but it did more in showing off his good-looks. It was obvious he was in the middle of dressing when the butler knocked, and he opened the door looking like this??

"Good_Good morn…"

"Sigh… change your verbals."

"Good morning." She said without stammering, and he smiled at the improvement.

"Much better."

She pressed her lips together, still wondering how she ended up on his bed when she was meant to be sleeping on the couch. Noticing her questioning gaze as she looked around the bed, as though the answers were there.

"Maddie." He called her name, and she looked at him. "What are you looking for?"

"I was just….I was sleeping on the couch." She pointed at the couch at the other end, "how did I end up here?"

"The couch was uncomfortable." He stated. "So I brought you to the bed instead. You shouldn't have laid on the couch in the first place, we're married now, you have every right to sleep with me on the bed."

Cassian didn't feel it was right to tell her himself, nor did he lie since he was the one who actually brought her to the bed. As much as he wanted her to tell him herself, he wouldn't want to force her into saying it as well.

"Are you going somewhere?" Madeline finally asked.

"Yeah." He turned to the mirror and began to fix his golden cufflinks. "I need to be somewhere."

"Be_before you leave, I want to tell you something."

At her words, Cassian stopped what he was doing and turned to look at the woman who had anxiously gotten out of bed.

"Any problem?"

"Yes...I mean..no...I mean...I.." Madeline tried to speak, but the words weren't coming out as though she was slightly afraid of saying what was bothering her.

"You shouldn't force yourself to speak if you aren't ready to say what's on your mind." He walked up to her, making their height difference known. "I don't want you to feel pressured into saying anything, if you aren't comfortable revealing some things to me, then it's fine. You can always tell me when you're ready."

"No, that is not the issue." Madeline shook her head. "You're too kind to me, and I don't want to hide anything from you. We might be in a loveless marriage for specific reasons but we still need to build it on trust."

Taking a deep breath, Madeline quietly began. "It...it...it started after the accident with my parents." She revealed while lowering her gaze in embarrassment. "The sight of our carriage violently running into another carriage overwhelmed me completely. My parents' dead body, the bloody sight and coming to the realization that I was an orphan triggered my trauma." She explained to him.

"Few days later, I was starting to have these uncomfortable dreams, and when it didn't stop, my uncle took me to a hospital nearby, where I was diagnosed with PTSD" she looked at him. "Post-traumatic stress disorder."

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