Bab 24: An Incident and the Angel’s Truth
Spring vacation meant quite a lot of free time for those without any particularly
involved hobbies. It wasn't that Amane had no interests, he just preferred activities
like reading and taking long walks. On occasion, his classmates made fun of him for
being so dull.
But Amane wasn't interested in sports or outdoor games. Unless he had somewhere
to be, his trips outside were for running or walking, or to go buy groceries, and that
was about it. Itsuki had always wondered why Amane didn't appreciate his youth
more, but Amane figured he got enough exercise to stay healthy.
Mahiru also didn't seem to go out much. Of course, he sometimes saw her exercising,
and she often ventured outside to buy things she needed, but she didn't really go out
specifically to do anything recreational.
"Don't you want to go somewhere for fun?"
When he asked Mahiru about it one day after dinner, she looked troubled for a moment,
then smiled and answered, "Go somewhere for fun…? Not right now, no. I'm kind of a
homebody."
Amane wasn't one to talk, but he wondered whether it was healthy for a beautiful high
school girl to stay in all the time. "Well, I guess I'm the same way, huh? I don't really
feel like going out anywhere, either."
"…What about going back to your parents' house?" Mahiru asked.
"I saw them at New Year's, so I think I can take a pass. Plus, I'm supposed to be going
home this summer, too. And it would suck to miss out on your fantastic cooking."
"…I-is that so?"
Amane had definitely grown accustomed to enjoying Mahiru's cooking every day.
Spending so much time together seemed normal now. He appreciated Mahiru's
kindness and her beauty, and he felt calmer just being around her.
"Not to mention, if I go home, they'll just drag me around all over the place, and that
sounds exhausting."
"…Drag you around?"
"To resorts and shopping and stuff. If I don't have anything else to do, they take me
wherever they want to go. Once when I was in middle school, we even went to hot
spring resorts and stuff."
Amane's mother didn't really care whether they were spending time indoors or
outdoors—she could get excited about nearly anything as long as she was spending
time with family. Whenever Amane didn't have plans, she often tried to drag him with
her somewhere. She was usually kind enough to let him choose where they went, but
if he let her get away with it, she wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of him.
Amusement parks and shopping malls were charming enough, but Amane's mother
also enjoyed mountaineering and airsoft games, which were more intense. Amane had
never understood how she contained so much energy in her petite frame.
Thanks to his mother, Amane had learned how to do all sorts of things, and even stayed
in decent shape, but it was obvious that his own preference for quiet hobbies was
something of a reaction to his mother's riotous enthusiasm.
"…That sounds fun," Mahiru said.
"When it's every single day, you get tired of it pretty quick. I'd rather not start off a
new school year totally ragged after trying to keep up with her."
"Ha-ha, I can imagine."
"You'd understand if you came with me. Then she'd focus all her energy on you
instead."
"I s-suppose so…"
Amane was sure that his mother would be delighted to go out somewhere with
Mahiru. He didn't think she'd want to do anything too hardcore, but she would
definitely take her around shopping and stuff.
He knew that his mother had always wanted a daughter and would probably leap at
the chance to spend time with any girl right around this age, much less a girl like
Mahiru.
"You'll see, if you come to visit over the summer. She'll probably drag you all over the
place and treat you like a dress-up doll again."
"…Summer?"
"I have a feeling she's going to ask me to bring you home with me."
By which I mean she's actually already tried to pressure me into it.
As things stood, Shihoko was probably going to approach Mahiru directly by the time
summer vacation rolled around.
"Ah, well, if you hate the idea, feel free to decline."
"N-no, I don't hate it! If anything, I'm happy!"
Mahiru shook her head forcefully, and as her hair cascaded around her face, the scent
of her shampoo tickled Amane's nose.
"Mm. All right, I'll go ahead and tell Mom. I know she'll be happy to have you over."
"…Thank you."
"I should be the one thanking you for taking some of the burden."
"Oh, please." She slapped his upper arm gently.
Of course it didn't hurt, but Amane's heart started pounding the moment she touched
him.
"…Amane?"
"A-ah, nothing, it's nothing."
"You don't really look like it's nothing, but…"
"Honestly, don't worry about it. Oh, look at that. You got a message or something."
Amane was all too happy to change the subject. He pointed to Mahiru's phone. It was
vibrating and flashing a notification.
Thankfully, Mahiru shifted her attention to the phone. "What could this be?" she
muttered as she picked it up and opened the messaging application.
Of course Amane knew it would be rude to read over her shoulder, and he didn't
especially want to make eye contact with Mahiru at that exact moment, so he found
somewhere else to look, but… when he heard a soft thump, he looked back over to
Mahiru and froze.
Mahiru had dropped her phone onto the cushion on her knees and wore an expression
like a lost child, as if she was about to cry.
It wasn't just the tears collecting in her eyes or the odd twist in her mouth… She looked
like she might shatter if he so much as touched her.
Where have I seen this expression before?
Oh yeah, it reminds me of the first time we spoke.
"…Mahiru?"
"No, it's nothing. Please don't worry about it." Before Amane could even ask her what
was the matter, she answered in a rigid voice. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to be
getting home. I have some business to take care of tomorrow, so it seems I can't stay
for dinner. I'm sorry."
Mahiru did not give him the chance to argue. She quickly collected her things and left.
Amane moved to stop her, but she either didn't notice or deliberately ignored him. He
was left reaching out to empty air.
…Why, so suddenly?
He was certain that it must have had something to do with the message she'd received.
As far as Amane knew, there was only one thing that could make her look that way.
"…Mahiru's… parents."
Mahiru didn't give her contact information to very many people, so only a very limited
number of people knew her message app ID. There was Amane and his mother,
Chitose and Itsuki, and he had heard that a few of the girls in her class who could keep
a secret knew it as well. Aside from those people, he deduced that the only other
people who might know it were her parents.
He had to assume that the message had come from them.
And suddenly saying that she had business to take care of tomorrow, when she hadn't
mentioned anything the day before, must mean that Mahiru was probably going to
meet them. He knew she had a difficult relationship with her parents, which explained
the gloomy expression he saw just moments ago.
Well, he might have determined the source of Mahiru's consternation, but there wasn't
much he could do with that information.
"…Mahiru."
He had caught a glimpse of her face, crumpled and twisted, as she left. He hadn't said
anything. Feeling helpless, he quietly muttered her name, letting his fist fall to the
cushion that, until just a moment ago, she'd been holding.
The weather was bad that day.
Dark, heavy clouds blanketed the sky, and when Amane looked out the window, he
couldn't see a single ray of sunlight. If anything was going to come down from that sky,
it would be raindrops.
Perhaps that was the reason it was so chilly, despite the end of March quickly coming
up.
Amane turned on the heater and had a seat on the couch, but somehow he couldn't
compose himself. Without meaning to, his gaze kept drifting in the direction of
Mahiru's apartment.
Today must be the day that she's going to see her parents, huh?
She had already informed him that she wasn't going to make dinner tonight, probably
because she didn't want anyone to see her so emotional.
Just remembering what Mahiru looked like wearing such a hurt expression placed a
somber, disagreeable feeling in Amane's chest, like the dregs of something dark had
collected there.
He was so worried that he nearly sent her a text asking if she needed anything before
deciding against it. He was incredibly agitated, but looking around his room, he
realized there was nothing he could do, so for the moment, he decided to head to the
supermarket to secure dinner.
Even when he was out shopping, no matter what he did, Amane couldn't get the image
of Mahiru's sad expression out of his mind. He imagined how painful it must be for her
to have to meet her parents, if that was the kind of face she made.
She had looked like she was afraid, he thought, pressing his lips together. Amane tried
not to scowl, so that he wouldn't look like some crazy guy, but no matter what he tried,
he just couldn't cheer himself up.
Then he dropped a premade entre e into his shopping basket a little too roughly,
making it all slosh around, and felt even worse.
Sighing deeply the whole while, Amane paid for his things and slowly walked home
under the cloudy sky—and then, when he took the elevator to his floor, he got a strange
feeling. Just as he was about to step out into the hallway, Amane paused, lingering in
the shadows of the elevator.
There were two people standing in front of the door to Mahiru's apartment.
One of them was a girl with familiar flaxen hair—it was Mahiru.
And the other was a woman he had never seen before.
Even at that distance, he could tell that she was quite beautiful. And she was tall as
well, especially compared to the petite Mahiru—by Amane's estimate, she seemed
taller than the average man. But her body was undeniably feminine. He could see her
ample curves even under her fitted pantsuit and noted that she had an almost perfect
figure.
Her medium-length light-brown hair hung loosely down to her shoulders, and she
carried herself with unmistakable poise. Her eyes were framed precisely with eyeliner,
but Amane didn't think she needed any makeup to look bold and assertive. Even
standing facing Mahiru, her stern gaze showed no sign of softening.
She was quite a beauty, but her entire persona was incredibly intimidating. She looked
like an extremely capable woman who was impossible to approach under normal
circumstances.
Comparing her to the neat and tidy lily that was Mahiru, this woman was like a striking
rose. That's how different the two of them were in appearance and temperament.
"Really, you're such a wretched little girl! And you look just like him. There's nothing I
hate more."
Amane stared in disbelief as vicious words slithered past the woman's crimsonpainted lips. He was sure that this person was Mahiru's mother, but when she spoke
to Mahiru, it was with a voice full of scorn. He could hardly believe that Mahiru
endured such cruelty at the hands of her own parent.
"At least if you resembled me more it would be a little better… but you had to look like
him. Well, it is what it is. Once you graduate, I won't have to deal with you anymore, so
there's no point worrying about it now. We can send the necessary paperwork through
the mail like always."
"…Yes," Mahiru replied feebly.
The woman snorted and turned on her heel. "This is good-bye, then. And don't bother
me with pointless nonsense anymore."
She was heading for the elevator, so Amane didn't have much choice but to step out
into the hall. The woman glanced at him briefly as they passed each other but left
without saying another word.
Mahiru was still standing there, and when she recognized Amane, her face distorted
into a grimace.
"…Did you overhear?"
"Sorry."
He didn't lie. He apologized frankly.
Though he hadn't intended to eavesdrop, he hadn't dared come out of hiding while
they were talking. Plus, he hadn't wanted to abandon Mahiru in her current state.
"So that woman was—"
"…Sayo Shiina. My birth mother."
Recently, Mahiru had been acting a lot more affectionate, but right now she was far
stiffer than when they had first met, and when she spoke, her voice was stilted and
ragged.
"I'll just go ahead and say this," Mahiru continued before Amane could ask. "She's
always been like that, so I'm used to it." Her voice was distant and monotonous. "My
mother has hated me for as long as I can remember, and it's too late for that to change,
so please don't worry about it."
Stress, pain, heartbreak—Mahiru could not hide what she was feeling. Even Amane
could see through her brave facade. He didn't stop to think about it—quietly, he took
Mahiru's hand as she turned toward her apartment.
He fully believed that his instincts were right this time.
Because if he left her alone like this, it seemed likely that Mahiru's thoughts would
head in a bad direction.
She looked at him blankly, then gave him a feeble smile and tried to shake off his hand.
But Amane gripped more tightly, determined not to let go. He didn't squeeze too hard
but held her slender wrist firmly.
"We're sticking together," Amane declared in the kind of authoritative tone he would
normally never direct at Mahiru.
Her face twisted into an awkward smile.
"…Really, it's fine. You don't need to worry."
"Well, I want to be with you."
He knew he was being awfully presumptuous, but he didn't intend to back down now.
He stared at Mahiru, and eventually she flashed him an exhausted smile and stopped
trying to pull away.
That was good enough for Amane. He led Mahiru into his apartment and sat her down
on the sofa.
Smiling weakly, Mahiru looked like she would blow apart after one stiff breeze. Still
gripping her hand, Amane took a seat next to her, then let go of her wrist and placed
her palms in his.
Slowly, Mahiru seemed to relax a bit.
"…It's not the best story, but here goes."
After almost ten minutes had passed, Mahiru finally broke the silence.
"My parents didn't marry for love," she said quietly. "They keep the exact circumstances
a secret, but they only got married as part of a deal between the two families."
That kind of marriage, based on family interests rather than love and trust, was rarely
seen in modern Japan. It wasn't unheard of, but to Amane, it sounded like something
out of an old storybook. He knew that Mahiru came from an upper-class family, but…
even so, he almost found it difficult to believe.
"And so… the truth is, they never really wanted a child. I was simply the result of one
night's indiscretion. Unfortunately, after I was born, they had no choice but to support
me financially… but that's all. I don't think they ever had any intention of raising me."
"What do you mean by that?"
"…They rarely ever came home. Even when they did, they just used the house as a place
to stay briefly. When I was younger, I hardly ever saw their faces."
Mahiru's voice was quiet and taut. She looked utterly exhausted.
"I can't remember them ever doing anything parental. I was actually raised by our
housekeeper. Mother had many affairs and usually stayed with her lovers, and Father
was too devoted to his work to have any time for me. He probably had his own affairs
as well… Anyway, they gave me plenty of money and left me alone. They said they
didn't need a child in their lives. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, they
never once looked my way."
Amane finally understood why Mahiru acted like an angel.
She had spent her entire life trying to convince her parents she was worthy of their
attention, even if only for a moment, by performing the role of the perfect child, and
now she didn't know how to stop being perfect. That or she felt like she had no choice
but to hide her feelings behind her angelic mask. Either way, Amane realized that the
angel persona had never been something Mahiru took up by choice.
"Ultimately, they never cared. Even though I grew up pretty, even though I got good
grades, even though I was good at sports, even though I could do housework… those
people never once looked my way. What a fool I was, trying so hard with nothing to
show for it."
Amane felt his chest tighten as he listened to her despair.
"And because of my inconvenient existence, they can't even get a divorce. Neither one
of them wants to be the one to leave. It would cause trouble both in their family life
and at work. They wouldn't be able to expect any support from my grandparents. So
they're waiting until I finish university. Once I'm independent, we won't see one
another anymore."
"That's…"
"When my mother told me to my face that she didn't want me… it was a shock. I felt so
lost. I sat out in the rain in a daze."
That was why Mahiru had been in the park all those months ago, Amane realized. She
had been wandering around in pain because of her mother's cruelty. She must have
felt like she didn't belong anywhere—that was why she had looked so anxious and
hopeless, like a lost child with no one to turn to for help. Not knowing what to do, she
had lingered there in the park, alone with her mother's hateful words.
As Amane imagined the scene, he felt the slight taste of iron spread through his mouth.
It occurred to him that he had been biting his lip when he recognized the taste of
blood. He was having trouble containing his outrage at this tragedy.
"…If I was going to be that much trouble, she could have just not had me."
Her tiny whisper struck him like a stake driven through his chest, pinning him in place.
He was so angry at her parents that he could hardly think. Because of their neglect,
Mahiru had grown up hiding her feelings, acting like she was strong while she silently
agonized behind her mask of angelic perfection. Amane wanted to shout at them, to
demand to know how they could treat her this way. But the people who had
abandoned Mahiru were not around.
And besides, Amane wasn't sure what he should actually do in this situation.
He was certainly furious at her awful parents, but he was also an outsider, and he
didn't think Mahiru would appreciate him poking his nose into her family business.
He might just end up making everything worse. When he considered that he might
only hurt Mahiru with his reckless words, he decided to hold his tongue.
But it seemed like Mahiru would dissolve into thin air if he left her like this—so Amane
took the blanket that was on the couch next to him and wrapped it around Mahiru's
shoulders. She looked surprised, but he pulled the blanket over her head and folded
her into his arms.
This was the first time the two of them had really embraced, and her body felt tentative
and fragile. He was almost afraid that she'd shatter if he squeezed just a little too hard.
But it occurred to Amane that the person in his arms had learned that she was
supposed to live without relying on anyone.
"Wha—? A-Amane…?"
"…I finally feel like I understand why you are the way you are."
"You mean why I'm so pathetic?"
"No… I mean how you'll try to endure any hardship—and why you never let your
guard down."
Mahiru had never been able to rely on anyone, but she had refused to let that break
her. The maid had provided what help she could, but she was only an employee, not
family. Mahiru had learned to persevere in life on her own, and she had obviously
gotten quite good at it.
"Look… I'm not going to interfere with your family situation," Amane said. "I know
better than to stick my nose into other people's business."
Amane was an outsider. There knew it was best to respect the depths when it came to
complicated family relationships. However, that was not the same as saying that he
wasn't going to support Mahiru.
"…But if you need to cry or anything, go right ahead. I'll even pretend like I can't see
you. It must be suffocating to have to suffer through such awful stuff."
He didn't actually want to make her cry, but if she kept bottling it up like this, at some
point, she would crack.
So he wanted her to let out all her frustrations, everything she was holding back, and
cry if she needed. And he would be there by her side if she needed him, too.
He couldn't do much other than support her.
Amane wondered if he wasn't being too presumptuous, but as Mahiru wriggled in his
arms and buried her face in Amane's chest, all that apprehension disappeared.
"…Will you keep it a secret?" she asked in a small voice.
"I can't see you, so I know nothing."
"…All right then, just for a little bit… let me lean on you," she mumbled. It was the first
time she had ever asked him for support.
Amane didn't respond—he felt like he might be the one to cry if he tried. Instead, he
just pulled the blanket farther up over Mahiru's shoulders and held her tight.
"…Promise you didn't look?"
Mahiru hadn't cried for long, maybe ten minutes, tops.
It would have been great if she could have cried enough to get out sixteen years' worth
of anguish, but that seemed like more than her body could handle right now. If she
added physical fatigue to her mental stress, her brain would probably just shut down.
Mahiru's cheeks were wet when she lifted her face, but she seemed to have recovered
a little of her spirit, because when her eyes met Amane's, her gaze did not waver.
"Well, you were leaning up against me, so I couldn't really see much. I definitely didn't
see you crying or anything."
Mahiru had slipped off the blanket and smiled gently.
"…Amane?"
"What is it?"
"…Thank you."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Amane replied, looking in the other
direction. He didn't feel like he'd done anything worth thanking him for.
Mahiru buried her face in his chest again.
"Let me stay here a little bit longer, please."
"…Sure."
It wasn't like he could push Mahiru aside when she was in this state even if he wanted
to. Besides, he wanted to support her however he could. Calmly, he put his arm around
her again and gently stroked her hair.
If nobody else will tell her how wonderful she is, I'll do it myself, Amane thought. He
wanted her to feel like she didn't have to try so hard anymore. Like she could relax,
now that she was with him.
Mahiru must have calmed down somewhat. When she looked up at Amane, she didn't
seem so upset. But she didn't look especially cheerful, either. She probably still had a
lot on her mind.
"…I wonder what I should do now," Mahiru mumbled quietly. She gave a troubled smile
as she looked into Amane's eyes.
"I can try my hardest all I want, but my parents won't even look at me. Even if other
people heap on the praise, call me an angel and whatever else, that doesn't mean a
thing. Sure, the Mahiru Shiina that they all know, the angel, is idolized and popular,
but… nobody cares about the real me. And the worst part is that it's all my fault. I set
myself up this way." She smiled bitterly and grasped the fabric of Amane's shirt tightly.
"The real me is cowardly and selfish and dull, and… there's just nothing there to like."
"I like you a fair bit," Amane answered without thinking. Mahiru looked surprised as
he continued, "I mean, sure, you're not a hundred percent perfect all the time, but I
really do think you're charming, and I always admire your honesty. You're being too
hard on yourself." He reached out and tapped her lightly on the forehead. "Besides, if
you were as selfish as you said, you wouldn't care about what other people think."
Mahiru looked stunned. But the sorrow had faded from her expression.
Amane just couldn't understand why Mahiru was always putting herself down. Surely
anyone could see for themselves that she was a hardworking person and a
tenderhearted girl. She was honest but considerate, and though she had called herself
cowardly, Amane knew that Mahiru had been hurt so much before that it made sense
for her to assume a defensive posture by default.
And besides, if she really was so dull, why was Amane always agonizing over her?
He only wished she knew how much more charming she was when she was her honest
self with him.
"Don't put yourself down like that," Amane said, gazing into Mahiru's caramel-colored
eyes. "After all, there's someone right here who has seen the real you and adores you."
Mahiru was convinced that nobody loved her. That must have been why she had no
confidence. But Amane wasn't the only person who liked her—even Chitose had
grown really attached to her. Mahiru was obviously wrong about herself.
She looked away from Amane, and her cheeks started to turn red as she pulled herself
into a ball. Amane realized what he had said and began to blush as well.
"I—I mean, Chitose and everybody thinks so, too! So don't get the wrong idea," Amane
explained frantically. "But anyway, it's not just me. My parents, and Chitose and Itsuki,
too—they all saw the parts of you that aren't the angel you always pretend to be, and
they all still like being around you! Honestly, you're much more… well, I think your
personality is much more likable than you think."
Amane obviously hadn't done a good job explaining himself. Mahiru's face was still
bright red. Amane had become pretty embarrassed himself—after all, he was the one
saying all that stuff.
"So look, if you want to stop trying so hard because your parents are going hate you
no matter what, then you're welcome to escape to my house whenever you feel like it.
If my folks know the situation, they'll gladly take you in. You can think of it like time to
recuperate."
"…Mm."
"My mom and dad have really taken a liking to you, so I think they would probably let
you stay for a long time… Actually, they might not leave you alone until you cheer up.
None of us can decide for you what you should do about your parents, but we can take
care of you until you reach a decision and keep supporting you after."
"Mm…"
Amane was trying his best not to come across the wrong way, but Mahiru started
crying again.
"Wh-why are you crying?"
"I just… feel so lucky."
"I dunno; you seem pretty much the opposite to me…"
Maybe Mahiru was blessed when it came to money, but aside from that, nobody gave
her anything. She hadn't received one bit of the love she deserved. Honestly, it was a
wonder she had grown up without becoming twisted and bitter.
Someone should take care of this Mahiru. And Mahiru should take care of herself, too.
She should take back a little of what no one offered her, he thought.
"…In that case, can I make some requests?"
"What will it be? I'll do whatever I can."
Mahiru smiled a little. "They're things only you can do, Amane," she murmured. "Like,
look at me more."
"I already can't take my eyes off you," he replied. "I'm in awe of everything you do."
"Also, hold me more."
He peered down at Mahiru, wondering if that was all.
"I'm already holding your hand."
Mahiru stared at Amane for a moment, then looked bashful.
"For today, hold me with your whole body."
As soon as she finished her sentence, she wrapped her arms around Amane's neck and
buried her face in his chest again. Amane was startled for a moment but knew that he
mustn't get any rude ideas. He swallowed deeply and once again embraced her delicate
body.
Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone